| |
OF THE WEEK
FORTNIGHTLY |
|
|---|
make yourself naked now
as so am I when of your words I read'
in this case my girl friend's left sock with the boxing kangaroo on it
out the window of my mother's ' 64 HD-Holden Ute
as I sat in the downtown mid-day traffic
at the stop-light
North Terrace and King Williams Street corner
watching my lap-top reveal on-line
instant nakedness from what I was told
was
the Gaza Strip no pun intended
she was in a pub 'The Intifada ' on the outskirts of Jericho
blowing her horn shattering walls of myths
broken syntax
WHAT?
Another 40-degree plus degreed day in
Adelaide the fourth
day today or was it yesterday
that was the day before when this
heat wave should have ended?
Jeepers! my brain was frying;
I was parched, here in the driest state
on the driest continent on Earth.
The traffic lights changed as Jimi said they would
in that dream I had once in 1968
Golden Gate Park
'the traffic lights will turn blue tomorrow' he had said
totally irrelevant to the present situation
most things are
when it comes to syncronicity
synchronistically I'm no...
I down shifted and ground into first gear thrust forward side- swiping a fat
Californian Presbyterian tourist from Long Beach thinking
about different times people had had sex
with nature.
My best times have been with
naked nature naturally.
A friend of mine even became pregnant once
when she was sun-bathing on the rocks at Sharks Head Bay
outside of Victor Harbor in 1981 during
that Jupiter and Saturn conjunction in a couple
of degrees of Libra - 'the Messiah aspect' she had said
which I disagree with as my son - Sacha was born then
and no Messiah is he though as his father
I once thought I had a shot at it
by the wind
'that's right mate - pregnant by the wind'.
as the Left Bank French say
She was laying there in some weird lotus position meditating
on how much she could sell her body for to
her Jehovah's Witness neighbours in Middleton
who had told her that by sucking them off
she would directly ascend to heaven
legs spread wind blowing her public pubic hair about
lickingly
playfully
then it happened
this guy on another set of rocks
who was watching
her
through binoculars
and jerking-off well the wind
it blew the sperm across the bay and right into her vagina.
Nine months later out came Hermes she called him
messenger of the gods - and
she said she
had been with no one
no one but the wind and some
flying sperm.
No it wasn't me on the rocks
getting my rocks off
no pun intended that day
though Hermes does have webbed toes like I do.
But truth have it be known at Queens Medical Centre
Honolulu I was - working as a psychiatric nurse
at that impregnable time of hers -
Impregnated by Nature I guess that
would be divine right up there with the Immaculate Deception.
The naked images of the French girl in Gaza
on-line on my lap in my lap-top
burnt a hole in my eyes where
recently it had been just the noon day sun.
Voice-mail:
thrust I at you
erotic-poet-boy
Internet-Conquistador?'
With a voice like hers Mosses would have spent 50 years in that desert
Now this girl spoke my language - broken English is
my favourite tongue
to have a broken-English tongue inside deep
tickled oesophagus
mucous glands secreting viscid lubricants
broken English and the scrotum melody...
where was I?
oh yes the breasts...
being a strict vegetarian I admitted I was more of a thigh
and leg person But 'Yeap! those were fine
French Gaza Strip Breasts',
like if I were an expert on that part of the world
all I knew about the Middle-East
was that Arafat wore a kitchen towel over his head
and kids were quite lively with rock tossing
with a body like that how
could there by turmoil
like they show on the six-o'clock news
here in downtown Hackham South Australia
soldiers shooting blanks that kill
|
|
STOP THAT |
there's too much good
for so much bad...
I swerved just in time avoiding three
kangaroos
and a koala having sex in the middle
of King William Street in front of
Parliament House
I was missing my dingo-dog Fucker
remember what happened to him
I explained it all in last time's Erotic
thing
if he were here he would have jumped
out of the back of my mom's ute and
make light work of these animals
they'd be licking their butts for weeks
if
he had gotten hold of their back-side
I probably should have name
Fucker Socrates or Cephalus
even Plato
he loved the Greek style so well
maybe it was just the Queen;
and I mean the real
Queen not one of those Adelaide queens
you see coming out of
Parliament House or the casino early
Sunday
mornings on their way to confession at St. Peters Cathedral,
dressed up as a kangaroo with
some of her foot soldiers
getting another Royal Family thrill downunder
maybe it was Princess Di shock horror make the news
with same-sexed animals'
they do put stories in magazines here
in Aussie-land like that...weird place
here.
Australia!
If you heard it on the news or read it in
the paper
in Australia you know it isn't true
I have a degree in journalism and I
know
it s true that it isn't true what
they say.
I wanted to get to the Parklands that
surround
Adelaide
and sit beneath a gum
tree continue with On-line-French-girl
in the Holy Lands and share a thrill
with the native fauna.
I've lived in the holy lands before
another life-time my Teacher told me that
said I was a disciple of whats-His-name
I have a degree in journalism and never repeat myself so of course
I don't believe anything but it makes sense
I had a sense of dejavu like I had had
this girl
off-line before I met her on-line
maybe she worked at my brothel in Rwanda a couple of years ago
or was it Sarajevo, Belfast,
Just to escape this heat would be fine
with me and now with no clothes on.
I felt silly sitting in my Mother's
ute with an erection
I tried to think of something else to become deflated
I thought of my ex-wife and vomited out the window
but soon I was hitting the stirring
wheel again
thinking about sex my girl friend
believes that is all that
men think
about
she's doing a degree in Women's-
Studies
at Deakin University
so of course us males get a razzing,
but having never thought about
anything else I can t make an objective comparison
to what it would be like not to think about sex.
I thought about the value of sex
as a bus load of nuns pulled up along side of me
they all had their noses pressed to the window
looking at my arousing situation
some of them were grasping the
breasts of the nun in front of them
two in the back
of the bus were humping a large stuffed koala
and one had her tongue in the Mother Superior s ear...
where was I?
Oh! The value of sexxxx
women value it so different than men
(shhh! Quiet sisters I m only talking about those who I am talking about)
TRADES BARGAINS CONTRA-DEALS:
$128.58 an hour for a third-generation
Australian white woman at Saint
Terrell's Cathedral of the
Golden
Wank
downtown before confession after
mass
in the missionary position only of course
intercourse
sheer Kundalini
Magick
that one,
$10.35 for a refugee in the
Immigration reviewing rooms,
and the refugees are often so much better
it's Australian immigration policy...
but the value some women put on
their vagina flaps
gates open
gates closed
pay pay pay
pay before entering
pay upon leaving
that is what marriage is really all
about
I once had a woman
or 'should I say she once had me'
who would only have sex with her
husband
we got married that night in Las Vegas
the next day we divorced in Reno
cost me $50 for the license and ceremony
and the fake diamond ring,
Another one only fucked Christians so I became
saved at a Billy Graham revival at Madison Square Gardens
I had to pay Billy $20 for a hundred-Bible Tracts:
'What will happen if I marry a
Catholic?'
I married a Catholic and moved to Australia I 1981
Billy's tract was right, 'Your life (wife)
turns to shit
if you marry a Catholic.'
Another would do it if I bought 20 boxes of
Girlscout cookies and wore her uniform
repeating the boyscout oath 100
times whispering
into her vagina 'On my honour I will do my best
to help girl scouts get undressed'
then there was the one who could only
undress
in front of a video camera listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
singing Waltzing Miltda
The video camera cost me a thousand
dollars
the Mormon Tabernacle Choir CD
I was able to trade for a bowl
of 'blessed rice' to some
Krishna's at the immigration office.
I looked into the rear-view mirror
flashing blue light
motorcycle cop pulling me over
then I realise I have no clothes.
'Follow me'
Shit! What s the fine in Adelaide for
driving with an erection?
Gabriel Garcia Marquez I speak no
English, and this is how we dress',
'I'm a freedom fighter from Nicaragua
on assignment for
ex-President George Bush who
stole all my clothes'
'I'm doing a skit for the Letterman
show...
see there is Dave's mother she
thinks the Olympics are in Adelaide this
year...
but no one listens to me.
'Princess Di secretly in Adelaide in sex romp in broad-day-light
ultra-altered-alter-sex they call it
oppppps! A bad road to wander upon when thinking of sex
'Hello Officer, I am from Aracataca, Colombia my name is
THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY AMERICANS
AVOID ADELAIDE!:
O.J. Simpson has never been there
No one there sings the Madonna song, 'Don't cry for me Adelaide South Australia'
Not enough French Fries for Clinton
America has enough nuns
New York City Mayor Glooie-on-lee can t pronounce Adelaide South Australia
NO CRACK
Dave offered me ten Yankee dollars to drive through Adelaide naked
Adelaide is where the Jets, Islanders and Mets get their players from
Not enough room for Demi Moore's breasts
Isn't Adelaide in the South Bronxs anyway ?
'I 'm my mother 's camel and live in Balochistan Pakistan',
'I am Japanese from Hiroshima looking like Australian surfer
here to buy golf course',
'From Hollywood helping Madonna make an Oscar-winning movie that has no songs in it',
'From Burma - the Dalai Lama's political translator
Bodhisattva Avalokiteshavara - 'The Naked One',
A woman motorcycle-cop beckoning me to follow
what's this the twilight zone?
The Sydney-Gay Mardi-Gras spread to South Australia?
Halloween
I look at my computer
February 22 - a week and a day after Valentine s Day
nothing special
Georgie Porgy Washington's birthday
but this is Australia we don't care about his cherry thing
the nun-bus is pulling away they have written
their telephone number on a large cardboard cut-out of the Pope
08 8210 8171
I key it into my cellular
never know when I may want some of that love-healing stuff;
I had a friend, Brother Randy - he was in this Strange Order with me
in Hawaii, 1970, he use to serve naked women communion
do a blessing on their vagina then screw them did it several times a week for a year
27 years later and he complains he's got bad karma and no Godly respect
maybe I will give him the phone number of
the nun bus nuns - he lives in Oregon now
complaining that God keeps farting in this face.
Maybe I will pass the phone number on to the Gaza-Strip girl.
So I follow the motorcycle-cop
and we stop
in the basement of the Immigration Department
'get-out' she commands.
It is so dark I can't see a whole lot of much
but still I see naked I am.
Well, the clothes I had on are laying somewhere in the streets of Adelaide
probably one of those bums who washes car windows at the traffic lights at
Hollywood and Vine down on the Bowery are using my clothes to wipe
themselves then car windows right now.
She pushes me into a Prussian Blue paddy wagon and searches every part
of my body - said she is looking for
stolen aircraft and a submarine that
the Australian Navy mis-laid over weeks ago
she says she won't mis-lay me - and continues
looking for the missing aircraft and submarine in
various crevices of my body with her torch.
I try to tell her that the Australian Navy loaned the submarine to New
Zealand
because the Kiwis think protection is a truck load of condoms
and Indonesia is getting ready to annex New Zealand as a social experiment
to prove that they have
a sense of humour and the plane was used to take
the Olympic 2000 wombat, kangaroo and those other
silly Olympic Mascots to Hollywood to get breasts and penis implants.
But she won't listen as my legs become cuffed to the benches
and my hands to the front bars.
It 's so bloody hot in there the perspiration
causes her to slip and slide off of my skin
and the more she beats me with her night-stick
and it isn't even night
the more blood mingles with the perspiration
and the slippery our situation becomes
not to help my karma
she drools and spits out Kipling lines
'Mother of Cities to me,
But I was born in her gate,
Between the palms and the sea
Were the world and steamers wait...'
WHAT?
incoherency has always been my best mate
but this is rough
finally my eyes adjust to the darkness
grafitti on the van's wall stare at me
LAShTAL
the basic formula of the New Aeon of all sexual magick
You know the exercise
LA (Nuit) unites with AL (Hadit) and the
field of Their interplay is ShT
someday I will
discover that
meaning is a harlot gone mad now I only
understand pain
just as she orgasms I don't
I am in love and faithful to my
girl friend
I see other figures - laying about
lying
migrants, illegal,
aliens,
Gastarbeites, expatriates,
fugitives from Queensland Royal
Commissions
and a few refugees are crumbled
in a crumbled pile
of crumbles toward the front
of the van. I want to scream for help
but she is such a good kisser;
Jurisprudence and sex no common cause have they
except in Canberra and perhaps Washington.
I get confused this is the
second time something like this has happened to me
this month - of course it's not
as bad as the
that was bloody scary.
She pulls out a razor
shit! - is this a
Bobbitt trip?
I knew about shaving the bikini line
my great-grandmum taught me
on her 90th birthday
I was 12 and she said I should
know this thing
if I were to grow up normal
it was a difficult learning curve
what - with all those folds and that thin
skin but I did it every week and
became quite good
so much so in fact the undertaker
had me do her bikini line at her funneral
but the rest?
The copper shook the can of shaving
cream
peppermint and gum leaves
lather - foam - the smell of success
the skin is so fine - softness overtakes me
smoothers the senses.
She drags me out of the van and
shoves me toward my ute
writes me a ticket for $134.58
'One-hundred thirty-four dollars
and fifty-eight cents?'
I scream
"ten-dollars for driving naked"
$124.58 an hour or part thereof for
the services of a third-generation
Australian white-woman to exculpate my perverted male-lot
I was not going to argue with a feminist-man-hating-cop
swinging a club at me.
She told me she was thinking about having me shot for treason
because I had lost the Australian Navy s submarine
and the jet-fighter.
The French girl in the Gaza strip
was still on-line and showing her butt
it easily filled the screen.
There was a tattoo that read (sic)
in the midst of a mushroom cloud
on the right buttocks
with blood in tear-drop shapes
cascading out of a weeping evening
sky.
She said for Yankee dollars E-Mailed to her now
I could watch her have sex
as she read my poems over the Internet:
WOW! Maybe then someone would hear one of
my three-hundred sites I now have up
on this blood stupid
it is the same grafitti on the
bus stops
around Hackham
(maybe I will add
'Grandmums Outback Funneral'
to one of my True Tales from
Adelaide but if you ain't got inwards
of BHP be ye prepared matey, it's a bit wack)
she died at age 93 of a dose of bad karma
while hustling on Hindly Street in Adelaide's
red-light district. She was a bit of an
embarrassment to our straight faced family
we freeze-dried her and fed her to
that baby eating dingo that was around
in the 1980s.
piece in our time
in Arabic
no appliances involved,
$50-$80 depending on the appliance
$120 with a Christian a Jew and a loaf of French bread at the same time
$150 with the other folks of the region
$200 she would do it with the donkey Jesus rode into town on on the Sabbath
$250 with an Arabian Camel (Camelus dromedarius)
$275 with a Bactrian Camel - two-humps are more than one
$300 with the US armed forces in front of an autographed poster of Henry Kissinger
French-kissing Jimmy Carter at Camp David Maryland 1979
$500 with a scud missile
and sure enough I suddenly hear and see not
only the explosion
but all of a sudden parts of her landed on my car
an arm on the bonnet
her tongue stuck to the rear-view mirror
thromboplastin, lymph nodes, pieces of her left ventricle,
medulla, uterine tubes
splattering across my windscreen,
my bumper sticker
is covered in vomit from the Gaza Strip.
like the vomit President Bush delivered upon the lap and knees
of that Japanese
I understand clearly now
what Plato was mumbling about
with his proposition that the ideal city's
size be limited to the range of the voice
which would broadcast laws/commands/ sexual positions
the Internet the global voice spitting out messages of pain
I pull into my driveway
go into the backyard wipe the blood off of myself where I had been
beaten
take some clothes off of the line
put them on go inside gave my girl friend a kiss
grab a scooner of East End Draught...
she asks if I had a good day and what was all that shit
stuck onto the car window, and the bruises on my head?
'Gad-day honey, wrote a poem on the Internet at school
it's pretty kool
hit a roo
on the way home and it and it's joey
smeared their Outback asses all over the car - I will clean it off
after tea
the bruises? I stopped in at the Nudey bar to watch the World Cup
qualifying match between Azerbaijan and Estonia...
got into a fight with Al Budny -
you should see what's left of his Yankee ass... "
visitors since February 1998 =
Pass on your comments,
insights etc. re. Hypertextual literature, script mappings, recipes:
"©" Terrell Adsit-Neuage.
to be continued March 10th
Copyright Terrell Neuage February 24, 1997 Hackham South Australia
next erotic lie
HYPERTEXTUAL
LITERATURE
Children't Stories
previous text
Next Text
Novel
Thesis
Romantic
Weekly
Erotic Lies
Picture-Poems
Poems
