Gilmore girls is the BEST show...anyways, i've decided to put some of my favorite quotes from the show up here...i got a bunch of them from
. Check it out!
Joey: I was just, uh -- Lorelai: Getting to know my daughter. Joey: Your -- Rory: Are you my new daddy? Joey: Wow. You do not look old enough to have a daughter. No, I mean it. And you do not look like a daughter.
"I hate when I’m an idiot and I don’t even know it. I like to be aware of my idiocy - to really revel in it, take pictures. I feel we missed a prime Christmas card opportunity." - Lorelai
"I still can't get over that I'm related to God. It's going to make getting Madonna tickets so much easier." - Lorelai
"Taylor come quickly. Our ‘before’ Mary is about to become an ‘after’. Who else in town is knocked up? " - Miss Patty
"Who are all these people?...It’s the 6:00 am crowd...I officially recognize nobody in this place." - Lorelai and Rory
"Maybe we can get him to stay for a couple of weeks...Absolutely - by weighting him down with blankets. " - Rory and Lorelai
"You know who's really nice to talk to? The people
at the unemployment agency." - Lorelai
"I like to have silence in order to cleanse my mental pallet and achieve calm before enjoying a motion picture." - Kirk
"Ok, to me that said [a bottle of perfume], ‘Hey mom, you work hard, you deserve something fancy’. Now to my mother, it said ‘Hey mom, here’s some smelly sex juice, the kind I use to lure boys with’ and resulted in me being sent to Bible camp all summer...Gift giving is serious business. If you don’t believe me try spending a month at Korean Bible camp. " - Lane
"Go upstairs. Tea is ready. I have muffins -- no dairy, no sugar, no wheat. You have to soak them in tea to make them soft enough to bite but they're very healthy. So, how was school? None of the girls get pregnant and drop out?...Not that we know of...Though come to think of it, Joanna Posner was glowing
a little." - Mrs. Kim, Lane, Rory
"Colonel Clucker? Are you serious? He has been with you since you were four...The first time Dean came over, he picked it up...Well that’s the not the colonel’s fault. He was sitting there minding his own business and a guy comes in and picks him up, what’s a stuffed bird to do?" - Lorelai and Rory
"Yeah, I’m just not big on hospitals you know the smell, people being wheeled by with tubes sticking out of them, you know, drainage, fluids, gaping holes." - Luke
"Maybe I'll have a magazine someday. Then I'll get all my nail polish free." - Madeline
"Mm. Well, uh, I don't want to go out on a limb here, but I'm guessing if the headmaster won't let a kid be thirty seconds late for a test he'd probably frown on a teacher dating a mom." - Lorelai
"It’s like a teenage Sodom and Gommarah." - Lane
"Because I have to go home soon and my mom threw out our TV when she caught me watching V.I.P. So I'm bored and I need some entertainment." - Lane
"Okay, our town is just weird." - Rory
"That doesn’t make sense. This is Dean we’re talking about. He’s crazy about you. He calls like 25 times a day. Have you seen the cover of his notebook? It’s one step away from stalker material." - Lorelai
"The best of Blondie...Kraftwerk...Young Marble Giants...Yoko Ono - really?...A very misunderstood artist and the Beattles would’ve broken up anyways...Have you shared this theory with anyone?...I know it, Yoko knows it, Sean knows it. Julian’s still in denial but what can you do?" - Rory and Lane
"My first complete sentence was, 'Big head want dolly.'" - Lorelai
"Oh, I love pudding. I worship it. I have a bowl up on the mantel at home with the Virgin Mary, a glass of wine, and a dollar bill next to it." - Lorelai
"Henry still hasn't called?...Oh no, he called...He did? Why didn't you tell me?...Well I didn't talk to him. He left a message. I listened to it eight-and-a-half times, but then my mom came home and I had to erase it. But I was so panicked that I broke it, which is better because now all evidence that a boy called me is in the trash... Eight and a half times...Well it was a good message the first couple times. Then I started parsing it for subtext... What did he say?...He said, and I quote, "Hey Lane, it's Henry." Not a good start. ...How do you figure?...It's so gender neutral. It's how you start a conversation with a bowling pal...He asked you bowling?...Then he said "It was fun meeting you the other night."...What?...He didn't say which night. Like he didn't remember which night. Like he's mixing me up with another girl from another night. For all I know, he thought he was calling the hot blonde he met at a hopped up night at Balthazar's...He's a 16 year old Korean boy...Or so he led me to believe...What's the bottom line here?...Okay, the bottom line is that he wants me to call him back. But if I do that then he's probably gonna ask me out on a date. And if we go out on a date then it could lead to another date, and then I'll have to introduce him to my parents. And once I do that, they're gonna like him. Because he's Korean and he's gonna be a doctor. And then once that happens, that's it. It'll be over. He'll be hideous to me. Now I'm a Lou Reed gloomy." - Rory and Lane
"We are overbooked...How are we overbooked?...Well there are more people here than there are rooms to put them in." - Michel and Lorelai
"It must be very exhausting to be you." - Emily
"I’m going to a serious school now, I need serious paper." - Rory
"I can live without the apple tarts...You’ve made up songs after eating five of them with lyrics that contradict that last statement." - Lorelai and Rory
"So, Lorelai, since I've seen you last, you've grown up, gotten pregnant out of wedlock, raised a child, and still haven't bothered to get married. Have I left anything out?...Well, sometime between growing up and getting pregnant I got my ears pierced" - Trix and Lorelai
"Michel tried to beat him senseless with the reservation book...Yeah, how did that go?...Oh, Rune got away...Really?...Well Michel can't run in new shoes." - Lorelai and Rory
I feel like everyone is staring at me...Well yeah, because you’ve got a banana peel stuck to your foot." -Rory and Lorelai
"No. Though I did imagine 20 different ways to remove your head from your body...Yeah? Well which one looked the best?...Hedge clippers...Huh...Dull ones...Well, I mean sure you wouldn’t want it to go quick...Exactly." - Lorelai and Dean
"I'm crushed. I'm bleeding. Get me a tourniquet. Oh, no, they're dirty 'cause Rory wouldn't wash them with her stuff." - Lorelai
"Uh, Diane is ancient history... When I met her at Easter you said she could be the one...The one to be gone by Memorial Day." - Christopher and Rory
"I had the German measles in the 5th grade, I still had to show up to the Christmas party...My polka dot dress matched my face and still I had to sit through 12 courses." - Lorelai
"Hi, I’m Lane...As in ‘walk down a...’?" - Lane and Louise
"Rory! Hello! Try a plum They're better than sex." - Miss Patty
"The headstand portion took a very ugly turn. The good thing was I brought the smug, blonde, pretzel chick down with me. I've since learned that I'm a bit too comptetitive for yoga." - Lorelai
"But now is the time to be preparing for it. I mean Harvard is hard to get into and I don’t know why I even spend my time thinking about anything else...Because you have a pulse and you are not the president of the audio visual club." - Rory and Lorelai
"I told her she should go out for the debating team...It's not a sport...It is the way the Gilmores play." - Lorelai and Rory
"I never liked him. I don’t know what it was, something about the shape of his forehead or his height or the floppy hair style. Actually yes, on reflection I think it was the floppy hair style." - Kirk
"Lorelai: Ooh and here are your somber highlighters, your maudlin pencils, your manic-depressive pens. Rory: Mom... Lorelai: Now these erasers are on lithium so they may seem cheerful but we actually caught them trying to shove themselves in the pencil sharpener earlier. Rory: I’m going home now.
Lorelai: No wait! We’re going to stage an intervention with the neon post-its and make them give up their wacky crazy ways."
"Mom, I'm a little behind in school but not so far behind that I don't know who the teacher is." - Rory
"You know people buy cell phones for exactly this reason - so you could get a hold of them anytime you want...I thought people bought cell phones in case their cars broke down at night and they needed to call someone for help and there’s psycho killers." - Lorelai and Sookie
"Fine is a word you use when someone stops you on the street that you sort of know but you don’t wanna talk to, so they ask you how you are and you say fine and that’s just enough so they don’t have to keep talking because they don’t want to. And then they can feel good about themselves because they’ve been considerate enough to ask and then if God forbid something actually is wrong they’ll actually sit down and take the time to listen, even though they don’t want to." - Sookie
"Call him...I already left him a message, he's probably parsing it right now." - Rory and Lane
"Those who simply wait for information to find them spend a lot of time sitting by the phone. Those who go out and find it themselves have something to say when it rings." - Louise
"I work here...Hm, I do not think so. You see, we have standards, and even if they were much much lower, you would still be poor boy out of luck." - Rune and Michel
"It’s dangerous in the car with all the kamikaze deer running around." - Lorelai
"Wow, you didn’t exaggerate...Paris needs no embellishments." - Lane and Rory
"Violent pencil tossing usually signals the need for pie....What if I’d thrown a pen?...I would’ve brought you a trout." - Luke and Rory
"You skipped your own cousin's funeral for a cat's funeral?" - Emily
"And then you walk away and he just stands there, amazed, like he can't believe what just happened...That's because I just stole his wallet." - Rory and Lorelai
"I never pictured Luke with an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty...No? Pictured him more with a Lorelai Gilmore kind of pretty?" - Lorelai and Sookie
"Well, what can I say? I like 'em cheap. Sloppy too -- bald spot, beer gut, you know, and the pants that kind of slip down in the back, giving you that good plumber shot. That sends me through the roof." - Rory
"You smiled. You're pleased that the ice man looked at you like a Porterhouse steak." - Emily
"I can’t wait to try the toaster pizza. It looks so gross which is usually the mark for a great junk food...Beefaroni...‘nough said." - Lorelai and Rory
"No. That Lothario over there has wormed his way into my daughter's heart and mouth and for that he must die!" - Lorelai
"Behold the queen of the subtle transition." - Christopher
"What about that other group? The Backside Boys?" - Emily
"Well, not everyone is cut out to be their own boss. Maybe you are more of a worker bee, a follower, a ticket ripper, or the man at the concert with the orange glow stick directing you were to park." - Michel
"Sweetie, mommy can’t get up right now. Mommy’s been sleeping at a right angle all night." - Lorelai
"There's something very strange about hacking into my own head." - Rory
"I don’t want to wallow, and you can’t make me." - Rory
"Does he have a motorcycle? Cause if you're gonna throw your life away, he'd better have a motorcycle." - Lorelai
"Did you always want to own an inn?...Uh no, I was still dreaming of owning a red Camaro when Rory appeared on the scene." - Rachel and Lorelai
"Failure is a part of life. But not a part of Chilton." - Headmaster Charleston
"Last week there was a huge debate over whether plaid scrunchies were acceptable head wear. People took sides, things got ugly, the scrunchie motion finally passed and I’d like to think I was the tie breaker." - Lorelai
"Yeah, you do know honey, that garbage doesn’t actually talk at all unless it’s on Sesame Street." - Lorelai
"This is Louise, Madeline and Paris...Ah, very good girl-group names." - Rory and Lorelai
"Tristin would be lucky to go out with someone like you. He's not going to have to read the menu to you or explain that the dancing trash bins in the movie theater previews aren't real." - Rory
"Henry VIII started a new church when the old one wouldn't allow divorce...He also cut off his wife's head. Is he still your role model?" - Rory and Paris
"Isn’t your house kind of far?...It’s thirty minutes away by bus...Bus? I don’t do ‘bus’." - Louise and Rory
"You’re accusing me of being jealous of a woman who dumped a man I’m not even interested in five years ago?" - Lorelai
"So, is this party Grandma's having going to be a big deal?...Not really. The government will close that day. Flags will fly at half-mast. Barbra Streisand will give her final concert...again...Uh-huh...Now, the Pope has previous plans, but he's trying to get out of them. However, Elvis and Jim Morrison are coming and they're bringing chips." - Rory and Lorelai
"Hey, it’s not a big deal, I was having a bad day, that’s it. Now I got magnetic sushi and all is right with the world." - Luke
"Don’t argue with her or you’ll find yourself the proud owner of three garden weasels. Cuz one's just not enough." - Lorelai
"Did you know that a butt model makes $10,000 a day?" - Lorelai
"Buttercup is a special dog. She's extremely skiddish and tends to react badly towards blonde haired females, brunette males, children of either sex, other animals, red clothing, cabbage or anyone in a uniform." - Rory
"He made it....Oh he’s handy. How great...And you wear it all the time right?...Just when she’s breathing." - Rory, Madeline, Louise, and Lorelai
"Unbelievable! She’s here five minutes she has a date. I’ve been going to this school nine years and I’m the French soda monitor." - Lane
"Because I have read every Nancy Drew mystery ever written. The one about the Amish country, twice." - Lorelai
"You can borrow some of my mom's shoes...Uh, no, I don't think so. Rory hold on a minute...Grandma, you will be missing the true Stars Hollow experience if you don't walk. Trust me....All right, but I won't wear anything with rhinestones or zebra stripes or anything that has batteries or that sings or make animal noises or moves on its own." - Rory and Emily
"Nice shirt. Take it off." - Christopher
"You know I heard that Paris' dad's actually got a second family in Paris." - Tristan
"We do not need a garden hose...We don’t have one...We don’t have a garden either...But maybe if we have a hose we can grow one." - Lorelai and Rory
"We're picking out paint colors tonight so it's going to be hours of "yes," "no," "yes," "no," "yes," "no," until my world-famous perseverence wears him down and he winds up in a ball on the floor crying like a girl. Wanna come watch?" - Lorelai
"No I got hit by a deer. You don’t believe me? I’ve got antler prints on the side of my mother’s car." - Rory
"She has a Dean?" - Christopher
"Lorelai: Listen, a ‘D’ is bad, ok. But all this talk about ‘I suck’ and ‘I can’t do this’ and self pity - that’s worse. That’s not you. You didn’t feel sorry for yourself when it took you three months to learn how to ride a bike, and you won’t now. Rory: Four months. Lorelai: Huh? Rory: It took me four months Lorelai: Really? Four months? Rory: Yes. Do you want to belabor the conversation?"
"Ladies and gentlemen, the drama king and queen of Connecticut. " - Rory
"You're 16. You have skin like a baby's ass. There's nothing to primp." - Lorelai
"I'm not Trendy Girl, OK? I don't haunt the boutiques hoping to find that one fabulous little top. I study and I think about studying and I study some more. I only have one lipstick at home, OK? And it's barely even a color. You put it on and it looks like you're not wearing anything, which is why I liked it in the first place. But to date, you need that fabulous little top and you need lipstick that you can actually tell you're wearing." - Paris
Rory: So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz? Richard: Oh, people die, we pay. People crash, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay. Lorelai: Well at least you have your new slogan.
"Because splitting debate time with Paris is like doing that whole ‘spitting in your palm and shaking hands’ friendship oath thing." - Rory
"Well, I think you’re actually making some friends here....Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. They’ve basically just moved off the plan to dump the pig’s blood on me at the prom, that’s all." - Lorelai and Rory
"You'll have to entertain me until she arrives. OK, Burger Boy, dance." - Lorelai
"Here, I'll find you a pen so you can write down all your insults so that you won't forget them." - Emily
"I've now used the word 'sucks' so much that it's lost all meaning to me." - Rory
"There’s no sign on this street...I know, that’s why I told you to turn right at the big rooster statue...I thought you were kidding." - Paris and Rory
"Some people like getting up early...You lie." - Rory and Lorelai
"Ok look. I’ve been making some changes, especially my career and I think I finally have all my ducks lined up in a row...You’re opening a shooting gallery....I’ve been tying up loose ends in my life...Do they make that much string?" - Christopher and Lorelai
"Luke: So I hear you're having a party Saturday. Rory: Yeah. Mom's famous for her blowouts. Lorelai: The best one was her eighth birthday. Rory: Oh, yeah, that was good. Lorelai: The cops shut us down. Luke: The cops shut down an eight year old's birthday party? Rory: And arrested the clown. Luke: I don't want to hear any more of this."
"I'm afraid once your heart is involved it all comes out in Moron." - Lorelai
"If I wanted to look, I would look. I haven't looked, therefore you must draw your own conclusions." - Trix
"I now officially know what it feels like to have grown up here...It's not official until you're huddled in the corner eating your hair." - Rory and Lorelai
I’m falling for a guy my parents would approve of! They’d love him, they’d go crazy! There’d be dancing in the Kim house! Dancing!...Really?...Followed by a lot of praying but initially there’d be dancing. This is horrible. This can’t happen. I have to stop it. We have to go." - Lane and Rory
"This man knows all my secrets. All of my bad girl moments happened with him - my worst fashion choices, my big hair days, the wearing of the Bonnie-Bell lipsmackers around my neck - it was all with Christopher." - Lorelai
"And I was screaming and swearing and being surrounded as I was by a hundred prominent doctors, I just assumed there was an actual use for the cup of ice chips they gave me...There wasn't...But pelting the nurses sure was fun." - Lorelai and Rory
"Lady-in-waiting is not a political office...No, but they get all the sex." - Paris and Lousis
"Ok, I gotta tell you something. I'm madly in love with you...Well, good luck with that." - Tristin and Rory
"Oh, no, we let Heidi go months ago. She had a problem closing things -- the door, the refrigerator --...The liquor bottle." - Emily and Richard
"They make really good cakes here. They're very...round...OK I'll remember that....Good. Make a note. You wouldn't want to forget where the round cakes are." - Rory and Dean
"My father hit his head surfing Rincon a couple of years ago. His judgement’s a little off." - Lorelai
"Oh yeah, I got some refrigerator magnets shaped like sushi for a nickel, so basically I scored." - Luke
"Well, we like our internet slow, okay? We can turn it on, walk around, dance, make a sandwich. With DSL, there's no dancing, no walking, and we'd starve. It'd be all work and no play. Have you not seen "The Shining", Mom?" - Lorelai
"For our top story tonight, a grisly horrible thing that happened in a small town where no grisly horrible things ever happen. Everyone’s shocked. House slides down hill. Liposuction kills, stay fat." - Lorelai
"I can’t imaging having a baby at 16...Well then keep your knees shut." - Louise and Paris
"Wow, smart girls are mean." - Lorelai
"People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them." - Michel
"Come on, Michel. I'll tell all the ladies what a stud you are...I believe that memo has already been sent." - Lorelai and Michel
"Oh cool hat...Put that down. It’s used...Vintage dear...Filthy darling." - Louise and Paris
"Sorry I’ve been monopolizing Lane all night...Oh no, that’s ok. I’ve had her for 15 years. I’m actually a little sick of her." - Henry and Lane
"Rory, I love you. I would take a bullet for you. But I'd rather stick something sharp in my ear than go to the club with you...Fine...I'd rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you...I got it...Don't stop me, I'm on a roll. I'd rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. Ooh, I'd rather get my face surgically altered to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you." - Lorelai to Rory
"This is it. She can finally go to Harvard like she's always wanted and get the education that I never got and get to do all the things that I never got to do and then I can resent her for it and we can finally have a normal mother-daughter relationship." - Lorelai
"Boys don't like funny girls...noted." Mrs. Kim to Rory
"Well good intentions and no physical exertion whatsoever is what the game of golf was built on." - Lorelai
"I'm sorry, Dad, how do you mix up Anton and Sophia?...What do you mean...Well, one is a man and one is a woman...And your point being...That one is a man and one is a woman. " - Lorelai and Richard
"So, Lorelai, how are things at that charming little inn of yours?...Mm -- they're still charming and little. We're just crossing our fingers it doesn't assert itself and become rude and large." - Emily and Lorelai
Rory: I couldn't possibly stretch them out! Your boobs are way bigger than mine. Lorelai: That is not true. Rory: Yes it is. Lorelai: Your boobs are totally bigger than mine! Rory: You're crazy! Lorelai: Do you want to measure? Rory: What? Lorelai: I'm serious. Why don't you get the measuring tape right now? Rory: I am not going to measure my boobs. Lorelai: Because you know that you are totally bigger.
"I mean, to have a place to go where she can socialize, that's very important to a young girl...Well, now especially that the crack den is closed down on the corner all her really good friends are gone." - Emily and Lorelai
"The freaking Blue Man Group is outside our house!" - Lorelai
"No my insane mother Margot Kidder Gilmore woke me up." - Rory
"Luke, we sleep around here. Okay, we like it. It makes us pretty and keeps us from killing our crazy friends." - Lorelai
"Look, I've had my peace with the fact that everyone who calls here is a notch above brain dead, and that the pennies I am thrown each week are in exchange for me dealing with these people in a nonviolent manner. And usually that is fine, but today, sorry lady, I have ennui." - Michel
"Obviously he's met one of those Thursday afternoon girls...What's a Thursday afternoon girl?...They're those slutty girls that get guys to switch their Thursday afternoons with another checkout guy so they can go do slutty Thursday afternoon things." - Rory and Lane
"Judy Garland is trendy?...Completely....She was neo-addict retro chic...No one tells me these things." - Madeline, Paris, and Louise
"It's the kind of lock burglars look for....Why do burglars look for that lock?...Because it's easy to break into. I proved that....You proved that by . . .?...Breaking in through the back door." - Luke and Lorelai
"Some guys are just naturally loners...Yes, lonely guys...Independent guys...Sad guys...Maverick guys...Lee Harvey Oswald...John Muir...The unabomber...Henry David Thoreau...Every one of these sad and lonely guys." - Luke and Lorelai
"All right, the nays have it. Let the record reflect it. Lorelai, I hope that's not food in those bags. Food is not allowed at town meetings....No, Taylor its not. Its, um, diapers for the little ones...What?...Dorsal fins and cucamonga....What did she say?...(whispers to Max): I confuse him till he loses his train of thought and then he moves on. Hot dog?" - Taylor and Lorelai
"Nothing's wrong with her Mary...Mary? Oh no, not this Virgin Mary thing again...Not virgin. Typhoid." - Louise and Rory
"Am I or am I not the head man in charge of floral deliveries?...Yes, and one of the few men I know who would proudly declare that fact." - Michel and Lorelai
"There is no use for a lava lamp unless you're on drugs." - Taylor
"Twelve guys stood in a row all night waiting for an enemy that never showed. They got stood up. They should've been wearing prom dresses." - Luke
"Everything's magical when its snows, everything looks pretty. The clothes are great. Coats, scarves, gloves, hats...Thermal underwear, wool socks, ear flaps." - Lorelai and Rory
"Not everone finds the idea of being pelted with frozen water appealing...I know, and how sad for them....The thrilling sensation of getting lost in a blizzard, of freezing to death in the woods and having to eat your friend's buttocks to stay alive. That is lost on many people." - Michel and Lorelai
"A bad storm is heading your way. It's already hitting us here...Well, don't panic. I'll get the ark. You get the animals." - Emily and Lorelai
"Tradition is a trap that allows people to stick their heads in the sand. Everything in the past was so quaint, so charming. Times were simpler. Kids didn't have sex. Neighbors knew each other. It's a freaking fairy tale. Things sucked then too. It just sucked without indoor plumbing." - Luke
"Rory, are you in any way malnourished or in need of some international relief organization to recruit a celebrity
(Rory is cooking a frozen pizza) "hat's food you eat at a carnival. Or in a Turkish prison." - Emily
"Rory's dad proposed...What happened?...The bell rang. I was late for chem lab." - Lorelai and Max
"Luckily I was on the fencing team in college or I would've married Lucinda Lester by now...Actually Lucinda Lester looked a lot like Errol Flynn. I should've married her; it would've been very modern of me." - Richard and Emily
"Hey, do you wanna talk? I'm not Rory, but we do use the same blow dryer." - Lorelai
"Everyone does stupid things in high school, it's like a requirement...Not like this...No, some people get pregnant. Talk about something really juicy for the gossip mill."- Lorelai and Lane
"I wonder if the Waltons ever did this." - Rory
"Yeah, I’m just not big on hospitals you know the smell, people being wheeled by with tubes sticking out of them, you know, drainage, fluids, gaping holes..." - Luke
"So what time does the judgmental express arrive?...Grandma gets here at noon." - Lorelai and Rory
