My intrigue's want, her gentle hand.
With hopes of love someday content.
In silence smiling as she stands,
my heart now bare of false pretense.
Thoughts flow, my mind is spent once more.
I choose another's life today.
I say to her what's gone unsaid,
a blushing smile comes cross my face.
Intentions pure this time at least,
the beast within has been surpressed.
Denile rejects the thought of we!
She smiles, embracing, as she left.
So moving now to other days,
my humble ways of pushing on.
Counting loves how come and gone.
Another girl becomes a song
- to me. ................................................................................................................................................................
She stood shimmering.
Brilliant streaks of light through stained-glass windows.
No one would know this gentle bride's smooth, silk dress
was spawned from a salvaged parachute.
How it survived a great and bloody war
and how he survived as well are both mysteries.
Floating elegantly down the aisle of destiny,
her new life starts here.
White clad innocence, the future is now.
She wanted perfection in marrage,
her brave knight on shining steed.
The children that they were,
trembled with anticipation.
Apprehension gave rise to butterflies inside.
This is not the war she knew before.
Survivors lined the aisles of God's little house.
All hail the queen!
Dining, dancing, libation-esk thoughts
filled her mind.
Clean shaven adonis.
The mother's words rang true.
She gave new life to emotional scars.
Not so much in healing,
but in remembering the war.
..................................................................................................................................................................... My Reverie
"My Reverie makes no demands on me but you,
I think you might. Take not to walk too close
lest you lose me from your sight."
These lines you wrote to me one night, and I,
Being the self-proclaimed poet and profit knew not what you meant.
At the time in my mind I wanted only sex.
But we shared more than all those
whores and somehow it was right.
Oh how we did fight.
Like an old married couple,
isn't that what people said?
What a show we put on each day to total strangers.
A couple of old souls I suppose.
Your profession was another story.
The oldest in the world, they say.
How could I react when you told me you just tested positive.
Am I a bad person for having felt a strange relief
in never having slept together?
To witness one so full of life
now wither and die must be killing your mother,
and daughter.
How old is she now? Does she understand?
I thought we would always be friends.
But as time passes the calls become less frequent,
and then stop all together.
So now I will make some demands!
I DEMAND YOU BE STRONG!
I DEMAND YOU BE HAPPY!
AND I DEMAND YOU HAVE LOVE!!!!
............................................................................................................................................................ ..I want to give a shout out to all my peeps.......Peace - out. ....................................................................................................................................................................... Walking On Eggshells ...........................
I tiptoe in again at night,
perhaps morning by this light.
Slowly, quietly close the prison door tight
and glide across the evil floor.
Amist a blackout I still know the boards that squeak
and those that don't.
His door is always open.
To hear that sounds that wake the beast,
each time.
The war zone looks the same every fucking night.
Dishes piled with food half gone and wrappers, paper, plastic trash all lay before me once again.
Beer cans litter every corner.
Hidden in the bathroom trash,
discarded always somehow disguised as social drinking.
Do social drinkers hide each twelve pack in a newspaper
to pound them alone in the dark?
So I rise again and begin the clean up effort.
Without so much as a hello,
hung over mid-life hatred greets me with my morning, "Fuck Off!"
And I smile.
While taking out the trash and loading the dishwasher.
And tossing out the hidden empty beer cans,
again.
It wouldn't be a normal day unless he had some hate to share.
He knocked her up and has hated life ever since.
One time he told me, if he knew things would have been this way he would have drowned us both at birth.
An evil smile grew upon his face,
and we knew he wasn't joking.
So I let it bounce off and turn my hate to humor.
Maybe make someone smile today instead of cry.
I stopped caring long ago.
I honestly don't care enough to hate him anymore.
Life's cruel twists will get us all eventually - ....................................................................................................................................................................
........ Just Tell Me
........................Tell me it was all a mistake.
Tell me it was just past feelings mixed with alcohol.
Tell me it was nice but now it's over.
Tell me you found the one and it's not me.
Tell me you were just confused and your head is clearing now.
Tell me you just want to be friends.
Tell me you don't want to hurt my feelings but ...
Tell me I'm just shit.
Tell me I'm a loser no smart girl would want.
Tell me it meant nothing.
Better yet,
tell me I'm wrong and tell me you'll be mine.
Just tell me something, anything, everything.
Or tell me nothing and kiss me softly.
Tell me I'm not crazy for thinking I have a chance.
Or tell me to fuck myself like all the other smart girls.
Just tell me.
Tell me you love me.
Just once and I'll never ask again.