The End 10.22.04
I saw you today for the first time since forever
Could my eyes be lying to me?
Could this actually be the man I once called my own?
The man who was supposed to forever possess the heart I laid in his hands?
This is him
The man who assured me that he would stay with me always
I begin to wonder how you could have deceived me like that
Why did I allow myself to become so ensnared in your lies?
I wounder if you ever cared about me
And if you did, do you still?
I continue to stare at you
My eyes are fixed on you
It is impossible for them to stray away from yours as I ask about the new girl you have found
This girl who has taken my place
I suppose you are really happy now
I can see that you are over me
Your eyes move away
You cant even look at me
I can tell you don't care anymore
You don't even miss me at all
You never meant those things you used to tell me
You don't love me
You love your new girlfriend
You think of me as nothing more than a friend
And a friendly hug is a I receive at the end of this meeting
I look at you one last time
You already have your back to me
I turn around and find my way home
Tears fall down on my pillow
I realize that it's all over
This is The End for us
But I still love you
I saw you today
It's been so long
I can't believe I'm standing in front of the girl who was once so precious to me
You are even more beautiful than I can remember
I wonder what happened between us
What caused this everlasting love to deteriorate into nothing?
How did it all fall apart?
I wish I could tell you that I still care
But it's too hard because I know you don't feel that way about me anymore
Why do you ask about my new girlfriend?
Don't you know she is nothing compared to you?
I would choose you over any woman in the whole world
If only I had the strength to tell you this
If only I had the power to make you love me like you once did
There is no way for me to be happy if I'm not with you
I turn my eyes away so you don't see me cry
Just looking at you brings tears to my eyes
How could I have been such a fool to let you go?
How could I have been so blind?
I miss you so much
You have no idea how much I love you
But I'll only be just a friend to you
As I hold you for the last time, a tear falls down my face
And then another
You pull away and I quickly turn around
I don't want you to see me like this
I wipe my eyes then turn back around
Just for one final look
But you've already started on your way
I start to cry again as I slowly walk home
Where I cry myself to sleep
It's all over
I never thought The End would come
I lost you
Letter to My Baby 4.9.04
I thought of you today
I came across your picture
Just looking at you,
It almost made me breakdown.
You'd think that after so much time I would've forgotten.
You'd think I wouldn't care anymore.
That I would've moved on with my life by now.
But I'm still trying to relive yesterday.
I want you to know I still believe God will find a way for us to be together.
The timing may be all wrong now,
But someday soon God will make it right.
I still believe you are my soul mate,
The only one I will ever truely love.
I don't think I could ever see myself living a lifetime with anyone else.
I've already given my all to you.
I'm saving myself for you.
Baby, the only thing I want is just to hold you
My feelings for you are still so strong
Even though it's been months since the last time I was with you.
I still believe I'm in love.
Please tell me you still remember me
Please tell me that you miss me like I'm always missing you.
Believe me when I say "I love you."
Please tell me you still have faith.
Tell me you believe in us
Please say that I will se you again
Please call me baby.
Please don't say those things you told me were lies.
Please don't tell me I'm not your baby anymore.
Don't tell me you don't think of me anymore
Don't tell me you don't care
Please don't tell me you've forgotten
Tell me that would never happen.
Please call me baby.
Today I thought of you
And cried.
Today I fell in love
Again.
I love you baby.
Wishing and Waiting 2.13.04
Here I sit in the stillness of the night, looking up at the heavens.
I pick out the brightest star in the sky and make a wish
In hopes that it will one day come true.
I'm wishing that some day soon we will meet again,
Wishing that you will know how much I care,
That you'll understand how much I need you in my life.
I'm wishing that you pray for me, just as I pray for you every minute of every day,
Asking God to please make you the most important part of my life.
I am wishing, wishing on you.
I'm waiting,
Waiting to begin my life with you,
My soul mate, my true love, my everything.
I'm waiting for the day when there is no distance between us,
Nothing to hold us back from loving each other the way we've always dreamed of.
I'm waiting to touch you, waiting to hug you, waiting to hold you and never let go.
I'm waiting to look into your eyes and tell you that I'll always be here for you,
And that no one could ever change the way I feel about you.
Nothing will ever stop me from loving you.
You are everything I've ever hoped for.
You are exactly what I've been waiting for all my life.
I could spend eternity with you and never grow tired of your company.
I'm waiting for the day when you tell me that you'll be with me till death do us part.
And until that day, I'll be sitting here, in the still of the night, waiting.
Waiting on forever.
When You Stole My Man 1.10.04
When you stole my man,
He wasn't sure of what he was doing.
He became a victim of temptation,
And he forgot about all the love I gave to him.
When you stole my man,
You took away the greatest joy I've ever known.
You killed my sense of security,
And you left me wondering if I could ever make it on my own.
When you stole my man,
I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my face.
I lost the only thing that kept me feeling safe,
And I didn't know if I could get through my future days.
From Dream To Nightmare, Fantasy To Reality 10.19.03
Each and every night, when I close my eyes, I enter into a world that is both trilling and serene.
I feel excitement and tranquility at the same time.
I can see the one I love lying beside me, and as he wraps me in his arms and holds me so close,
I am in ecstasy, lost inside the warmth of his embrace.
He covers me with sweet kisses and whispers softly in my ear, as a gentle piano plays in the background.
I can see the love in his eyes for no one but me, and I can feel the smoothness of his skin that soothingly rubs up against mine,
caressing my whole body from head to toe.
This emotional and physical bond between us is enough to leave me breathless.
In this state of blissful satisfaction, we cling to each other and cherish these feelings of enchantment, senuality, and content,
as we continue on throughout the entire night, forever.
And in the morning, I awake only to taste the bitterness of reality.
I come to realize that it was only a dream.
A dream that, no matter how hard I try, will never come true, and I find myself walking around in a horror film,
living the nightmare that he and I will never be and that his love belongs to someone else.
And now, the only things I have left to remind me of him are just the thoughts of yesterday, memories of the good times we've shared,
and the bittersweet dream that replays over and over in my mind, each and every night, forever and ever, until the end of time.
BitterSweet Thougts 10.08.03
Sweet is the thought of saying hello
Bitter is the thought of saying goodbye
Sweet is the thought of seeing your face
Bitter is the thought of losing your smile
Sweet is the thought of hugging you
Bitter is the thought of not having your touch
Sweet is the thought of talking to you
Bitter is the thought of missing you so much
Sweet is the thought of being with you
Bitter is the thought of knowing you must leave
Sweet is the thought of me loving you
Bitter is the thought of you loving her, not me
Always and Forever 10.08.03
Always and forever I'll think of what could've been
I'll dream of a love so strong
Forever and always I will hate myself
For making him wait too long
Forever and always I'll constantly cry these tears
As I sit in my room alone
Always and forever I will stay single
With nothing or no one to call my own
Always and forever I'll sing a sad love song
And be surrounded in stormy weather
Forever and always I will be lonely
Because he loves her always and forever
The Dream Of You 9.20.03
You will never know that I pray for you each night
You will never know these words that I write
You will never know the love I have tucked inside
Nor the secret emotions that I hide
You will never see how I fight for you each day
You will never see that I really don't feel okay
You will never see the dreary look on my face
Nor these endless tears that I waste
We will never share the light of tomorrow
We will never share our pain or sorrow
We will never share sweet conversations on the phone
Nor a tender kiss when we're alone
We will never feel each other's soft skin
We will never feel an incandescent fire burning within
We will never feel a passion that's so amazing
Nor and embrace so breathtaking
I will never get to hold your hand
I will never get to walk with you through the sand
I will never get my one more chance
Nor my one last enchanting dance
I will never have a place to come home to
I will never have loving arms to fall into
I will never have my fantasies come true
Nor my favorite dream, the dream of you
All I want is to see your face again
Even if it's just for a brief second
All I want is to hear your voice again
Even if it's not me you're speaking to
All I want is to know you're thinking of me
Even if it's not the same way I think about you
All I want is to tell you I love you
Even if it's not me you're wishing for
All I want is to feel your skin touching mine
Even if it's just a tap on the shoulder
And all I want is to dance with you once more
Even if it's just in my dreams
Sister 7.15.03
Sister
I can see the uncertainty in your eyes
The insecurity in your stare
I know you are living in denial
You try to hide behind the cuts and bruises
But you can't cover up your fears
The pain that has scarred your life
The anger that runs through your veins
That bleeds through your wounds
Sister
I can see the terrified look in your eyes
The bitterness in your tears
I know you are overwhelmed by lonliness
Driven insane by isolation
Overwhelmed with anger
Stolen by hatred
Taken by dark days
Sister
I can see the horror in your eyes
The hopelessness in your gaze
You must know there is another way to go
Another road for you to take
Another journey you can make
Apart from deception, dejection, death
It's far too soon to speak your last words
To walk your last step
To breathe your last breath
Sister
Maybe 4.15.03
Maybe you're not really the one
Maybe I never had your love
Or maybe you're just what I need
Maybe you'll be good for me
But maybe I should leave today
Maybe I'm just a fool to stay
Or maybe it's crazy to leave you alone
Maybe this is where you belong
Maybe I'll always be in your heart
Or maybe you were cheatin from the start
Maybe you're true or maybe you're not
Maybe your love is all I've got
It may be yes or it may be no
But there's one thing you need to know
Whatever you decide to do
Just remember I'll always love you
An Everlasting Love 3.20.03
How many minutes go by in a day,
That thoughts of you don't run through my brain?
How many times have I looked in your eyes,
And all at once knew you were truely mine?
How could I get by if I didn't have you,
By my side my whole life through?
How could I survive without your love for me?
If you ever left I don't know where I'd be.
How much longer will these feelings remain?
They'll last forever as long as you stay.
How much love do I have left to give?
Enough to love you as long as I live.
Crimson Tears
Crimson tears
Why do they fall?
As I look back on the years
Down my cheek they crawl
They fall for the one
That I had once known
The crying has just begun
Now that I'm alone
No remedy to ease
No release from fears
No way to be free
From the pain of crimson tears
You're Not Gonna Hurt Me Again 1.1.03
You gave up on me,
Walked out on me,
Left me for someone,
You thought could fill your needs.
It didn't work out,
So you came back,
And willingly I let you in,
Not knowing you'd only hurt me again.
Once more you're gone,
Once more I'm alone,
You're out with another,
And I'm sitting here alone.
You didn't know,
Her love wasn't real,
She decided not to stay,
And sure enough you've returned to me.
I won't always be there,
I won't always care,
Find someone else,
To run to when it fails.
I'm not gonna listen,
To all your silly lies,
I'll find someone else,
Who will love me for all time.
