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GILES O'GRADY
Commissioner 
JOHNNY VICIOUS
Killer Burrito
DOUG BURRITO
AKA Archon, Dynamo
T.F.M.
Goon Squad Leader
STEIN-PAC
Goon Squad Lieutenant
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HEY KIDS!!
CLICK HERE TO VISIT THIS FUN-TO-LEARN PICTO-CHART DEALING WITH THE NO-NO's OF THE DAW!!
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OCTOBER/2005
TRANSMISSION #001 -- "RE-GENESIS"
As a journalist, a fan, and an apartment warfare historian, I was appalled and nauseated when I took the time to log on to the original DAW website just three months ago. It was in shambles. The last update, a rambling, badly-paced manifesto from Danny Damnation, had been posted in April, 2001. That's five years for those of you not keeping count.
To be frank, I couldn't stomach it. I regurgitated all over my desktop, ruining my new keyboard and soaking an article I was working on for the New Yorker with pungent bile.
"This," I muttered through my soggy moustache. "This...will not do."
For the last few months my team here at PAUL DREBBER REPORTS have been tweaking and updating the original DAW website, polishing it into a brilliant, gleaming ruby.
We're far from finished. In fact, all we've really done is create a new logo and write up this opening introduction that you're reading now -- but trust me, the dice are rolling. Danny Damnation has made it clear that he wants nothing to do with the re-development of his website but has given us free reign to mold this dark little corner of the internet however we please.
I'm excited. You're excited. It's going to happen.
PAUL DREBBER
Investigative Reporter
 A tell-all interview with DANNY DAMNATION..! POSTED NOW...Hear Danny Damnation speak of the future of the DAW, his thoughts, his feelings, and his contraversial contract negotiations with the new breed of DAW competitors!!
 A dramatic interview with the RUBYSTONE...! POSTED NOW...Hear what the man-pony has to say concerning roasted piglets! Hear him spout off about this-and-that! Hear RubyStone regail us with his homoerotic adventures in the fairytale land known as Europe!!! Hear it all here!! Holy damn!
NOTE: This site is heavily under construction. In fact, keep the kids out of here until at least Thursday. There's still a lot of exposed nails and some homeless guy has been using the Profile room as a toilet. Give us time.
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