Girlfriends of mine have long been envious of my wonderful husband, Ron. Never have they seen such a well-mannered, sensitive and caring man. What they don’t realize is that their own boyfriends or husbands could be turned into the same. I’ve written this primer on male chastity to give all you ladies out there the opportunity to turn your toad into the prince you’ve been dreaming about.

This is often the most difficult step. Your goal is to convince your man to purchase and wear a chastity device. Explain to him that doing so would make your relationship stronger, happier, more fun, and intimate. It’s not that you don’t trust him, but you’d feel very special being the one and only one that has control of his sex. Reassure him that by making you his key holder, he’s taking a step towards long term happiness for you both. The Internet is the best source for chastity devices. Seek one out online and order it together.

Ensure the device contains all pieces (refer to accompanying instructions). Practice locking and unlocking the device until you’re comfortable doing so. Have your man affix the chastity device to his genitals in the manner prescribed. If it’s placed on correctly, the device should be comfortable, allow for urination, yet restrict his erections and not allow him any direct contact with his penis.

Ask that he allow you to lock the chastity device in place. Most devices are locked with a simple padlock. Simply affix it as directed in the instructions and snap it shut.

Congratulations! With the closing of the lock, your relationship has taken a great leap.

Having a chastity device locked around his genitals usually means some simple physical changes for your man. First, he’ll likely have to sit while urinating. Secondly, he’ll have to get used to sleeping on his back or sides as sleeping on his stomach may be uncomfortable. Neither of these are very severe and he should be adapted within days.

By holding the keys to your man’s chastity device, you now have the power to ensure he remains loving, loyal, and respectful to you always.

Women throughout history have long known that most men are driven almost entirely by their penises. Because of this fact, men can be very charming, caring, and considerate to a woman in order to gain her assistance in achieving an orgasm. Once the orgasm has occurred, however, men tend to put those wonderful qualities on the backburner until the urge for sexual relief comes back. What’s more, if you refuse to assist him in achieving that relief, he’ll resort to masturbating and take care of the problem on his own.

Do you see the power of those keys now? As long as you hold them, your man’s days of masturbating are over. Furthermore, you now have the power to limit his orgasms, providing them sparingly, only when he has earned the privilege by pleasing you. You’ve become the sole proprietor of his manhood and, as such, have paved the way to making him the man you’ve always wanted.

When he looks at you now, he not only sees his girlfriend or wife, but also the only person capable of providing him with sexual relief. You, the woman, have complete control of your man’s sex – this is the way it should be. In no time flat, you’ll find him getting very huggy and kissy, buying you gifts, and offering to take you to dinner or give you a long and wonderful massage after a long day at work. Sound nice? It is.

The first thing you’ll need to do is decide on a schedule for his relief. For men new to chastity, I recommend you begin with a weekly schedule. This doesn’t mean that once a week, every week, he’ll be let out of the chastity device for some action. It means that if, during that week, he’s made you happy, he’ll be given a release. If not, his wait will be extended for a period that you determine. Very quickly, he’ll learn that if you’re unhappy with him, a lack of sexual release for him will be the consequence. What’s more, as he’s only given the opportunity to have one orgasm per week at best, he’ll appreciate them so much more. Soon he’ll understand the importance of always making you happy and equate your happiness with his own.

Another important rule you’ll want to establish is that he will no longer be allowed to play with himself – at all. You and only you will have the power to fondle, caress, or stroke his manhood. In doing so, you reinforce your autonomy as the sole provider of his sexual pleasure. If he wishes to be let out of the device for any reason, allow it, with the stipulation that his hands be tied behind him with a scarf, rope, or pair of handcuffs.

When the time comes for his release, allow it in a manner you choose. If that means a passionate bout of love making, so be it. If it means you giving him oral sex or a hand job, those work too. Once he’s had his orgasm, place him back in the device immediately.

Be assertive in having him help with the housework. Very soon it could be you laying on the couch and watching TV while he does the dishes as opposed to the all to common reversal of those activities.

This isn’t a license to abuse your power. By all means, you should also share in those chores. However, you’ll likely find that he’ll be offering, on his own accord, to do just about all of them.

Just because he’s prevented from achieving sexual relief doesn’t mean that you are! This it he perfect opportunity for him to perfect his tongue technique. Multiple times daily if you wish it! He’ll be very happy to do so as keeping you happy sexually will not only feel like an accomplishment for him, but also serve to ensure his own sexual relief when the time comes.

Last but not least, have fun with it! Don’t be afraid to put on the goddess routine. Make him ask politely to be allowed to give you oral sex, or a massage, or that foot rub. Tease him. The voracious sexual energy you’ll generate in him by doing so can be channeled into pleasing you. Use your imagination.

Soon, you’ll grow to adore keeping your man in a chastity device and wonder why you didn’t do it right from day one. Your man will grow to adore you like he’s never adored any woman before.

There are two main types of chastity devices for men: the belt variety (Tollyboy, Access Denied, etc.) and the cage variety (CB-2000, Birdcage, etc). Because of their lower cost, general ease of you, and comfort, I generally recommend one of the cage varieties to couple wanting to begin incorporating male chastity into their relationship. The CB-2000 is hard to beat as it is generally just as secure as a belt variety chastity

device. I've also had my fiance invest in a Tollyboy variety belt. We use the CB-2000 for the most part, but I do like the way he looks in Tolly boy metal underwear. ;-)

Check out www.altairboy.com. It's a great site that contains reviews of all major brands of male chastity device. Pick one that you both like.

In short, there is no special way to achieve this. You can have sexual intercourse with him, you can give him oral sex, or you can bring him to ejaculation with your hand. If he's behaved very well, bring him to orgasm in the way he likes best. If there are black marks on his record that week, do it in what way you enjoy most. There are, however, three things you should keep in mind:

a) Don't allow him access to his penis with his hands. If you plan on teasing for awhile, or leaving him

unattanded for even a few seconds, tie his hands. If you are there to supervise, explain to him that if he touches himself, you'll tie his hands. We want you to be the only one with the power to pleasure his penis.

b) It's best to leave him locked up until you're ready to give him the orgasm. He doesn't need to be freed to get worked up.

c) Replace the chastity device immediately after giving him an orgasm.

Belt varieties of male chastity devices often require much 'twinking' to get them to feel comfortable for long term use. Consult with the manufacturer of the belt and seek their advice. Also, check out www.altairboy.com as it contains many forums on how to correct such problems.

If you're still unable to find a solution, consider investing in a cage variety chastity device.

First of all, don't force the issue with her, it'll just make her feel more uncomfortable. She feels this way because she hasn't been exposed to the idea before and thinks it to be and odd and weird request from you. What can you do? Gently encourage her to read this guide. Also, show her some of the variety of male chastity resources on the net. Once she sees just how many thousands of couples are using male chastity devices as a way to enhance their relationships, she might change her mind. Explain to her that she has nothing to lose by giving it a try and ask if she would be willing to try for a trial period (one month might be a good duration).

A recent article in the New York Times (March 4 , 2000 edition - see website) stated that male chastity device sales have shot up dramatically over the last two years. In 1999, an estimated half million male chastity devices were sold. Clearly, the idea is catching on.

Good luck!

Well, Tina, throw any guilt you're feeling out the door! :-) As your man's keyholder, you have every right to use your authority to curb the behaviours in him that make you unhappy. Just a few extra days added to his wait will have a huge impact on him - he'll learn that although he can forget phone calls and spend free time playing computer games when you feel neglected, they'll come at a cost. Let his penis argue with him and you'll soon find those behaviours coming to an end.

When he's behaving improperly, approach him with something like this:

or

If he's at all resistant to accepting your decisions, tell him that although you'll be very disappointed, you will give him the keys to his belt and not accept them back for good.

He'll come around. ;-)

Good idea, Mindy. :-)

The best way to determine the answer to this is by trial and error. The trick is to increase his wait time slowly. Make it ten days. If he asks why, simply explain to him that you love the way he behaves under lock and key and want to maximize your happiness. Do this for a couple of months, then increase it to two weeks. See how this goes and continue to increase it as long as he doesn't start getting snappy or irritable with it. Over the last three years, I've worked my fiance up to a three week schedule (though I still occasionally unlock him after two weeks if his behaviour has been exemplary). I've also heard from many ladies that have their men on monthly (or longer) schedules. Really, the only upper limit is what you find works best.

No, Debbie, this is not true. The male's body has its own way of dealing with an over abundance of stored up semen. After a certain point, the male will experience a wet dream which will alleviate any build up and keep his ejaculatory system functioning properly. Keep to your pledge of making him wait a month. I doubt you'll find him surfing porn again. :-)

I would suggest that you help her realize the impact that keeping you on a schedule has. Go a full week without asking her for release. Near the end of the week, make extra effort to coddle her - treat her like a princess. Keep this up until she recognizes the pattern and decides that it'll make both of you happier if she's more restrictive about your releases. Good luck!

Here's what I would do, Lisa. Talk to him about the benefits of chastity. Tell him that you love the way he treats you and don't want it to ever change so you'd like to try keeping him locked. Make it seem fun and exciting. If he is indeed the sweet man you've described, he'll have no trouble giving it a try.

Don't feel selfish at all, Tara. Look at it this way. You can continue to be happy with your 'Romeo' and, in turn, be a solid, supportive, loving mate in return - making him happy for the long term. Or, you can give in to your man's boyish need for the short term comfort of his orgasm and lose all the benefits that his chastity has brought you. Which is better for you? Obviously, keeping your Romeo. Which is better for him? Short term relief? Or long term happiness? You've given him the greatest gift a woman could give a man - you've ensured that he'll keep you happy and in doing so, guaranteed a long, happy relationship.

What to do about the comments? Say something like this, and speak firmly but sympathetically: "I'm sorry you feel that way, honey. You've made me so happy while I've kept you locked up. I know how guys can get and I don't ever want to risk that you could get that way. I'm so proud of you - you've been doing so well. But, if it will make you happy, you no longer have to lick me or play with me."

Chances are, he'll melt right there and apologize for saying what he did. :-)

If the comments resurface again after that, explain to him that you've already talked to him about it and are prepared to start giving him extra days without relief for saying such hurtful things.

Most women will admit that a properly used dildo/vibrator is better than the real deal. This is the perfect opportunity for you to teach him precisely how to please you using one. If it's the action of sexual intercourse itself that you love, buy Tony a strap-on dildo to use on you. :-)

Have you taught him to properly bring you to orgasms with his tongue? If not, you can give that a try too. Good luck!

This is a great idea for a short term reward, Tammy. My own fiance, Todd, has expressed to me that he so much more appreciates having his penis touched now that its kept under lock and key - even if he isn't allowed to ejaculate. It's also a great opportunity to talk to him about any issues you have. What I normally do is cuff Todd's hands behind him, and have him go down on me until I'm satisfied. When he's finished, I'll remove his chastity device and have him sit next to me (usually on the couch). I'll reach over and slowly and gently start pumping his penis (after warning him that he'd better not ejaculate). At this point, he's truly like putty in your hands. :-) Talk to him about issues. Ask him for something. If his responses please you, then pump his a little bit faster, if they don't, slow down. You'll be amazed how wonderfully agreeable he will be. When he starts getting too worked up, I'll let go and let him cool down for awhile, then ask him if he'd like some more. Usually he says yes, and I'll go through another cycle. I limit it to two cycles.

A word of caution, however. Make sure his hands are restrained during these sessions. Once he gets worked up, he'll grab his penis and finish the job no matter what you say.

Have fun!