The sound of a small fist knocking against the windowpane awoke him. Still his ears were attuned to this faint noise, despite the years it had been since their adventurous nights. Long ago, in the nights of his childhood, he couldn’t wait for the darkness. In the nights of his childhood, adventure came at the stroke of 10, with a knock at the bedroom window, their lives began, As simple as that, they’d be underway, until the darkness began to taper and their small figures cast faint shadows. At 3 am they were back in their beds, another adventure behind them as another day began.
The last of their midnight adventures came shortly after his 10th birthday. Kara, the girl who had started it all was leaving for boarding school. She was an amazing girl. Physically she was fit, using her limbs as built in shock absorbers, she could do anything from scaling a wall to trick blading. Mentally, she was a sharp, fun-loving risk taker who knew how to talk her way out of anything. She was nice, smart, and a born leader, but the kind of leader people wanted, not in any was pushy or bossy. She was the perfect person…and for a girl, that was something in his 10-year-old eyes.
The last night, they were 10, on the threshold of confusion. Preteens. Not quite grown yet, not still young children, but not yet in between, and they wouldn’t have had it any other way, they were right smack in the middle of the best time of their lives. This night had a special magic to it, maybe because it was the last, or maybe because everyone who had ever known Kara had shown up to see her off. This was her time to shine, and as he watched her, he saw a girl shining as brightly as the stars above, whose eyes had encased within them two of those stars. It wasn’t until that night that he realized how much he would miss her being around, just seeing her walking down the street or occasionally babysitting with her for her 3 and 5 year old siblings. He would miss bringing her the homework when she was sick and competing for best costume on Halloween. It was then he knew that life would never be the same around the old neighborhood.
Five of them slipped into the woods and to a clearing that Kara always went to when she wanted to think. No one was ever allowed there, but he had followed her many a time and stayed at a distance until she was ready to talk to him. As they walked into the woods a tear formed and slid down his cheek as he watched Kara. The others were walking ahead, so she was the only one close enough to see it, and if she had, she pretended it was too dark. When they finally got to the clearing it was like they had journeyed far away from the world, like they were the only people in it. It was just the five of them. The forest seemed so alive, yet so completely undisturbed by life. Standing around talking, they got on the topic of sex, which, when you’re ten, is complete hearsay and misinformation. On the subject of kissing, they finally pressed Kara into saying something, being the only girl of the group.
“I don’t know, but I heard that girls to show their boyfriends they’re interested they kiss ‘em, and then bite his bottom lip.”
The other three laughed. Dan instinctively came to her defense. “Hey! My brother’s girlfriend does that all the time.”
A lie, completely, but his brother was an icon of coolness, he was 6 years Dan’s senior, and all the girls in his grade had crushes on him, or at least that’s what he’d lead them to believe, still, he was an idol for these guys. A collective gasp came from the three guys. “Hey, and if I ever had a girlfriend I would want her to kiss me like that.”
Sure, it was another lie, and if he hadn’t used his brother as an example, they would have been laughing at him by now. However, they were now nodding solemnly, willing to take his word, so not to endure the wrath of Dan’s brother.
He and Kara stayed behind a short time in the clearing she thanked him for standing up for her. She said she would miss him, which flattered him, because he had never would have figured that she gave him a second thought. She embraced him before they left and, although he couldn’t explain it, he wanted nothing more than to hold on and never let go.
Kara reeked havoc for three years at boarding school. She wasn’t a bad kid, she just lived her life on her own terms, which didn’t always coincide with the rules. When she was 14 her parents got a letter suggesting she go back to public school in the fall, saying it would be best for her and her “emotional development”. In other words, they were politely telling her to leave and never come back. In tenth grade, after a year of home schooling Kara came back to public school.
Nothing changed at first; they both went on with their lives as always. One day she came into school beat up and tired looking Her face was black and blue. He had heard her father yelling long into the night, so he didn’t say anything. She passed him a note. It read simply “Don’t lock your window.” That night, she arrived at 10 o’clock. She didn’t say a word; she just slipped open the window from the outside and crawled into his bed with him. He put his arms around her, careful of the bruises all over her. Even though he was acting tough, inside he had been inundated with so many complicated emotions he could hardly think. He kissed her forehead and whispered the only thing he could think of.
“You’re still beautiful.”
He didn’t sleep that night, he just held her as she cried. She left as quietly as she came in the early morning light.
He kept wondering if she would come back to his window, hoping that she hadn’t forgotten him. Hoping she wasn’t going to leave him alone. Hoping she would never just give up. Some nights the only thing that kept him from crying himself to sleep was the fleeting hope that the knock would come and she would be there, and he would stand beside her, and he wanted to look strong.
The knock never came.
He rolled out of bed now and looked through the window -and froze. Kara and Joey? Wait, no, it couldn’t be, they didn’t look like that anymore. He checked again. Oh yeah, it’s Suzy and Eric, Kara’s little brother and sister. They were shadows of the past, so much like their older brother and sister it had fooled him, but you can’t bring the past back, they were older now. Kara, 17, Joey, nearly 20, and yet, wasn’t it so long ago just yesterday? When had all those years passed? “I don’t remember growing older, when did they?” He opened the window, the cool night air brushing against his bare chest like a gentle caress, the smell of the early summer night air brought back countless memories of days gone by. He was still wearing his jeans, as he had been too exhausted to remove them before he and collapsed onto his bed. The kids clamored in, neither had the style or finesse their sister once had, nor the amazing poise and grace she now possessed as a young woman. They spoke to him as his equal, despite the fact that they were 4 and 6 years younger than he was. In that he saw her, the way they commanded equality, but not respect. Kara had always been that way. She always said “Treat me as your equal and I won’t treat you as my slave.” All in fun, but it was something the young ones had picked up on.
“Kara wants to meet with you, Dan. She says she needs to put something behind her.” Eric began
It made sense, she was going away to college in the fall and she had to make it through that, not like boarding school, she had to stay in for her own sake, maybe she was just finally putting her childhood behind her.
“We’ll take you as far and the wood, she says you’ll know how to reach the clearing.”
He glanced at the clock, 5:32. Was that what it said? He blinked the sleep out of his eyes. Yes. 5:32. That’s what the glowing numbers read.
“Alright, I’ll go.” He said after a moment, pulling on and buttoning his shirt.
It took the trio 40 minutes to get to the woods on foot. The sun was just starting to peak over the horizon, a lion raising its golden head lazily over the far hills.
The trek he had made 7 years earlier was as familiar as the light and airy feel of his favorite cotton shirt against his skin. It took him 10 minutes to reach the clearing. He stood in the clearing he had left 7 years ago, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had lost something here all those years ago. Something he was still missing now, and should be looking for.
Things had finally come full circle. Once she had stood in the clearing and him in the shadows awaiting his time to act. Now she stood on the hill above the clearing, clinging to a small tree. She watched him moving throughout it in the early morning light. As he stirred the cold ashes of a campfire with his foot she knew what she had come out here for. She remembered what she left behind in that clearing, half a lifetime ago.
Kara slid down the loose soil of the hillside silently and walked up right behind Dan. She tapped him on the shoulder softly so not to startle him.
“I thought I told you never to come down here?” She asked, playfully cross.
“Kiss me, please?” Was the only thought that crossed his mind, but he needed to say something, so it came out. “I thought I told you never to sneak up on me?”
She looked at him for a long moment, traced her finger down his chest and whispered “I asked you first” and kissed him full on the lips. His mind was swimming and his world spinning. In that kiss the world began to swirl, replaced by just her. He moved his hands slowly up from her hips to her shoulder blades, brushing his lips against hers and kissing her with everything he had as the world melted around them.
