Poetry
"The music playing is "Dreamin' of You" by Selena, which was one of the songs played at Devin's funeral. Devin saw the movie about this lovely singer, who was fatally shot to death by her fan club president. I like to think of Selena with my angel....singing to him...."
Why?
My world changed forever.....
My weeping soul finds it impossible to completely grasp
The magnitude of such a loss...
This only happens to someone else.
Somehow I allow it into my consciuosness
In small increments.
My unhappiness remembering happiness.....
My emptiness remembering completeness.....
my tears remembering laughter.
Your sweet head, with a small turn to the left,
Breathing forth your last 2 tiny breaths of earthly air
from 2 parted rosebuds.........
Is there such a thingas feeling the word "LIFE"
Actually pass through your delicate hands through mine
And into the heavens????
I know you saw it.......you let mommy know.
That LIGHT which welcomed you into those gates of gold.
Rays of pure love.....
Thank you my son, my warrior, my hero.
I pass these nurturing, motherly arms to my winged sisters and brothers.........
Entrusting them to watch you, keep you, preserve you.
Until our bodies ance again embrace.
Until then, I know you will still know the memory of my hugs.
Is there such a thing as beauty.....
hidden in the bowels os such an enormous pool of pain and loss?
You whisper to me, "There is Mommy......there is......."
And I believe you.
I hear you.
You taught me about courage, loyalty, humour,
But most of all you showed me what it means to LOVE.
Sharing silences.......
If I can't find a way I ust make one.
I long to see the tender colours of life
That illuminate against the dark background of death.
God, please reconsider..............
Written by Linda Davies
for her son Devin
5/2/86 - 11/21/97
acute lymphoblastic leukemia
Crocodile Tears
Oh how I miss my boy with crystal eyes
whose bottom lip would tremble every time that he cried.
And how his tears would catch in the creases of his cheek
and how his throat grew dry as he tried to speak.
Oh how I miss my boy with chesnut hair
and caressing his bald head once it turned completely bare.
But still he combed and combed the few strands left
wishing with each stroke that his life could be kept.
Oh how I miss my boy with playful grins
which emanated life that was buried within.
And how he would always push out one little smile
through the bleeding sores on his mouth argued it wasn't worthwhile.
Oh how I miss my boy with hugs so frail
I even miss the aching nights when he would sob and wail.
While his trembling body shook beneath my grasp
and we both felt his life slipping away to fast.
Oh how I miss my boy with crocodile tears
and the infinite nights when he did not hear
his mother and father, weeping as he slept
praying to exhaustion that his life would be kept.
Oh how I miss my boy with crystal eyes
for now he rests on the cottony clouds in the sky.
But it will take more than death to keep his soul in the dark
for the twinkle in his eye is still breathing in my heart.
Written for Devin
By: Ariel Palanca
Death Is Nothing At All
Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
whatever we were to each other
that we still are
call me by my old familiar name
speak to me in the easy way
which you always used
put no difference in your tone
wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together
pray smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
without the trace of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
it is the same as it ever was
there is unbroken continuity
why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you
somewhere very near
just around the corner
All is well
Henry Scott Holland
(1847-1918) Canon of St Paul's Cathedral
I'll Love You Forever
I sat within my lonely world
Holding your picture, gently touching your face.
The tears poured forth like heavy rain,
My eyes strained against the mist,
As my voice broke, speaking your name.
My chest burned with its broken heart,
Then screamed with passionate desire.
My arms ached to hold you close
And assure my mind we will no longer part.
Just one touch from your hand would give
My life its ever wanting solace.
To God I pray to let it be,
One more time won't you let him live.
Then at last my tears did dry away
And a whisper in my ear I did hear.
" I'll love you forever."
I felt a gentle stroke against my cheek
As the wings of an angel wiped my last tear.
By Paul D. McCutcheon
Angel Moms
We have shared our tears and our sorrow,
We have given encouragement to each other,
Given hope for a brighter tomorrow,
We share the title of grieving mother.
Some of us lost older daughters or sons,
Who we watched grow over the years,
Some have lost their babies before their lives begun,
But no matter the age , we cry the same tears.
We understand each others pain,
The bond we share is very strong,
With each other there is no need to explain,
The path we walk is hard and long.
Our children brought us together,
They didn't want us on this journey alone,
They knew we needed each other,
To survive the pain of them being gone.
So take my hand my friend,
We may stumble and fall along the way,
But we'll get up and try again,
Because together we can make it day by day.
We can give each other hope,
We'll create a place where we belong,
Together we will find ways to cope,
Because we are Angel Moms and together we are strong!
Judi Walker
An Answer to a Moms Prayer
Life has its questions, as proven today,
when my spirit sensed
darkness coming my way.
The storms that where hidden, returned oh so fast,
Just when I thought they where lost in the past.
Again, I felt the teardrops fall from my eyes,
like rivers of pain, that grew deeper in size.
My heart began breaking, like it did the first time,
I faced this storm weeping asking, " Why is God blind? "
I relived the suffering that I felt for so long,
A suffering that came from a life to soon gone.
Again I cried, " God...Where are you now?,
I can't even stand up-I dont think I know how."
Then as quick as the storm entered my heart,
A sweet simple peace recited its part.
As if I heard God in a gentle kind voice
Say to me, "Child, there life was my choice."
"I know your suffering...and you child is fine,
And you'll see them soon, for you too are mine.
Above all things, I know what to do,
Remember my child, I lost my child too."
"But just as my son rose to my throne,
Know that I'll never leave you alone."
"So when these storms rage, call on my name,
And I'll speak this answer to you....Unchanged."
Author Unknown
Great Losses
This world seems so unfair at times
we all seem to have such great losses.
Yet let us not live in such despair
wondering why something did happen.
For the past cannot be changed my friend
we can only look for the future each day.
Yes the loss of one so loved by all
to see friends and family shed so many tears.
Yes this day is so feared.
Yet while the cries are heard so clear
a voice above the crowd is heard.
The angelic sound so sweet but soft
yet heard within the hearts of all.
"I am fine my friend" it says
"In the arms of one who loves everyone."
"I know you all worry so, but there is no need you see.
"I am better off here , as now I am truly
the angel you thought I was."
"Yes friends and family remember
I am in great hands this day."
"I understand that you are all so sad
yet somehow you will see
that even though what has happened was a tragedy
it was not the end for you and me."
"Just a new beginning for us all you see."
"So each of you should live."
"Keep my memory alive this day
and do not let me fade away."
"For now I live in each of your hearts this day
so keep me near to you
so that I will never really die."
"For in this faith which we believe
my life will continue on
as long as you go in this life of yours."
"So remember me each day by day
until the time finally comes
we when we shall see each other become as one"
by Tom Wallace ....Braveheart
How Long Will The Pain Last
"How long will the pain last?" a broken hearted mourner asked me.
"All the rest of your Life." I have to answer truthfully.
We never quite forget. No matter how many years pass, we remember.
The loss of a loved one is like a major operation. Part of us is removed, and we have a scar for the rest of our lives.
As years go by, we manage. There are things to do, people to care for, tasks that call for full attention.But the pain is still there, not far below the surface. We see a face that looks familiar, hear a voice that echoes, see a photograph in someones album, see a landscape that once we saw together , and it seems as though a knife were in the wound again. But not so painfully. And mixed with joy, too. Because remembering a happy time is not all sorrow, it brings back happiness with it.
How long will the pain last?
All the rest of your life. But the things to remember is that not only the pain will last, but the blessed memories as well. Tears are proof of life. The more love, the more tears. If this be true, then how could we ever ask that the pain cease altogether. For then the memory of love would go with it. The pain of grief is the price we pay for love.
author unknown
