I DIDN’T, BUT I WANTED TO - Todd & Marty

After Todd almost raped Blair he goes out and gets drunk. Dylan throws him out of Rodi’s for carrying an open liquor bottle, Marty is there to see him and she is concerned. Dylan does not want her near him so she sneaks out to check on Todd who has gone stumbling out in the alley behind Rodi’s.

TODD: Great, Todd. Hell of a place to take a walk. (he finishes his bottle and then throws it to the ground. He falls back against a crate and then has a flashback of when he tried to rape Marty again in the same alley and Luna hit him with the pipe. He is full of self-loathing, he then slumps down in the garbage. He picks up a glass shard and you can see him contemplating cutting him self. The scene fades and when it comes back he has indeed cut his palm. Marty steps into the alley looking for him)

MARTY: Todd? Todd, where are you? (seeing him) What happened? What did you do? (she keeps her distance from him)

TODD: (utterly despondent) Go away Marty. I don’t need you to rescue me. And I sure as heck don’t need anymore of your great advice.

MARTY: What happened with Blair?

TODD: Well, remember that great idea you had about how I could save my marriage? Well, turns out she was boffing Cord the whole time. And they had this plan so that they could get their hands on my money.

MARTY: What??

Todd: And you know that baby....that she lost? The one I cried my eyes out over? (he looks up at her, pitifully) Marty, I don’t even think that it was mine.

MARTY: I'm sorry

TODD: (very softly) Me too. But I guess I showed her.

MARTY: (apprehensive) What do you mean?

TODD: Aaah, what ya think! Marty, what’s the worst thing I could have done to her?

MARTY: (knowing, looking away terrified) Oh, my god.

TODD: No, I didn’t. (Marty looks surprised) I wanted to. God, I was going to.......I wanted to. But I guess that’s just as bad. (tears in his eyes)

scene break

MARTY: The fact that you didn’t, Todd, that’s gotta count for something, it has to.

TODD: Yeah, but I wanted to, INSIDE. Inside I wanted to. (he is trying to wrap his cut hand with a handkerchief.)

MARTY: (noticing his bleeding, concerned, but not moving) Apply pressure.

TODD:What? (looks at her)

MARTY: Your hand, apply some steady pressure.

TODD: Okay, whatever you say, doc. Just like when you told me to leave the past behind me. Whatever you say, doc! You see, I can’t. There’s this thing, there’s this thing inside me and I just can’t leave it behind. It’s who I am. Todd, the monster. (Dylan comes out and asks Marty what’s going on)

MARTY: (quickly to cover) Todd cut his hand.

TODD:Go on, Marty, get out of here. Your boyfriend doesn’t want me around you. Can’t say as I blame him. We both know who I am....inside. Go on now, get out of here. (she and Dylan leave, she takes a last look at him) (he sits all alone, miserable, so defeated)