Snowflakes and Angels Wings

By Renee Novak

It had been a long time since Nicky had argued with any of the boys at the waystation. Last night changed all that.

"Nicky, just go talk to him."

Nicky shook her head. "Aunt Rachel, I’m done talking to him."

Rachel smiled to herself. She knew Nicky’s pride as bruised and that she’d had a heated discussion with Buck. She knew better than to get involved, except to encourage the two to make amends.

"You’re not gonna feel better till ya do."

Nicky persisted. "Neither will he."

Rachel handed her a brown sack. "Go give this to Buck."

Hesitantly she took it from her. "But…"

"Go on," Rachel urged. "Before he leaves. He’s still in the barn."

Nicky knew what her aunt was trying to do, and she knew better than to argue with her. Without saying a word, Nicky went outside.

Winter had come early to Sweetwater. Snow already blanketed he once green rolling hills and pasture. Dark gray clouds promised a day of bitter cold and snow.

Nicky walked to the barn. Buck was readying her horse, Raven for his ride.

"Hi," she said sheepishly.

Buck looked up at her, then back to Raven. "Hi," he replied.

"I see you decided to take Raven, like I suggested," she said, trying to make conversation.

Buck answered flatly, "Yep."
"Aunt Rachel wanted me to give this to you."

He took the sack of food and packed safely into his saddlebag. "Tell her I said thanks."

Nicky looked at the ground. "Fine," she replied quietly.

There was no use sticking around where she wasn’t wanted. Without saying another word, she walked back into the winter wonderland.

"Hey, Nicky," Jimmy called.

She looked over towards the bunkhouse, squinting against the biting wind and the snow that had begun to fall again.

"Yeah," she shouted back.

"Where’s Buck?"

She waited until Jimmy got closer before replying, "In the barn, why?"

Jimmy’s face was serious, as usual. "Got a letter for him."

"Oh," she answered. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?"
Nicky shrugged. Suddenly she wished she’d put a coat on.

"I’m freezin’!" she said. "Tell Buck if he wants me, I’m in the house."

Jimmy nodded and headed for the barn. Nicky hoped he’d say something about the fight. Maybe get him to apologize. As she neared the porch, she heard the familiar cry:

"Rider comin’."

She watched as Kid arrived, and Buck rode off. Her heart broke for the second time in as many days.

"Ride safe, Buck," she whispered into the fierce wind, tears freezing on her cheeks.

Chapter 2

Buck rode hard, partly trying to beat the snow, and partly taking out his frustration over the night before. He’d courted Nicky for one and half of the six months he’d known her. She was the strongest woman he knew, aside from Lou. She was as perfect for him as Lour was for Kid, but she frustrated him sometimes.

The snow whipped mercilessly around Buck, stinging his face, leaving him numb. He slowed Raven, holding the reigns tightly, as the terrain became treacherous. The night before there’d been an ice storm, followed by several inches of snow, making navigating the trail dangerous at best.

"Okay," he said aloud. "I know you can do this. Just take it slow and easy."

Raven took the first set of hills like a pro.

"Good boy," Buck said letting out a sigh of relief.

The next ten miles were desolate and hilly. There was no protection from the blinding storm.

"C’mon, Raven," he urged the skittish horse. "We can get through this."

He just had a few more miles before he reached Widow’s Bluff. There was shelter there. The frigid wind chilled him to the bone as afternoon turned into night.

"We should be there soon, boy," he whispered.

Something wasn’t right, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Suddenly, he was falling into darkness. As he hit the frozen ground, he heard something snap, and his right arm was filled with a searing pain. There was nothing to stop him as he tumbled through the night. When he finally stopped, his head struck something hard. The last thing he felt was an overwhelming sadness, followed by the peace of unconsciousness.

Chapter 3

Nicky woke from a sound sleep, screaming. Icy sweat was soaking her nightshirt.

"Are you alright?" Rachel asked, bursting into her room.

Nicky didn’t answer. She sat in herbed, her face in her hands, shaking. Jimmy and Cody quickly joined Rachel.

"Everything okay?" Jimmy asked.

Nicky nodded her head.

"Alright, boys," Rachel dismissed them. "Back to bed."

She waited until they were gone and returned to Nicky’s side. "What happened?" She asked, rubbing the back of the shaking woman.

Tears fell from Nicky’s green eyes as she spoke. "He’s dead, Aunt Rachel, and I never got to say I was sorry."

Rachel held the girl who lovingly called her ‘Aunt’. "It’s alright, Nicky. Tell me what happened."

"Who’s dead?" Jimmy asked from the doorway

"I told you to go on back to bed," Rachel scolded.

"Buck’s dead," Nicky answered his question without crying.

She stood up, and began to dress, not caring that in the process, Jimmy would see her naked.

"What’re you doin?" Rachel asked, standing in Nicky’s way.

"I’ve gotta find him."

"You’ve gotta find who?" Jimmy asked amazed. "It’s the middle of the night."

Nicky’s green eyes glared at Jimmy. "And Buck’s out there by himself…"

"Nicole Marie!" Rachel said, her voice forceful and stern. "You will stop this nonsense, right now!"

Ignoring the order, Nicky put on her coat, and went to the door.

"Excuse me, Jimmy."

Jimmy didn’t move. "You’re not goin anywhere, Nick."

"If you don’t move," Nicky threatened. "I’ll move you myself."

"It was a dream, Nicky!" He persisted, putting his hands on her shoulders. "That’s all!"

She shook her head. How could it be a dream when her heart knew differently?

"But…Jimmy…"she pleaded.

Jimmy softened his voice. "Nicky, if it’ll make ya feel better, we’ll look for him, come first light."

"He’s alone now though!" She sobbed, all of her resolve washing away with her tears.

"Honey," Rachel said, as Jimmy held her. "Buck’s gonna be fine. He’s smart, and he won’t make any rash decisions. You know him better than any of us. He’ll be okay."

Nicky sat down on the bed, looking from Jimmy to Rachel. "You promise? At first light, we’ll look for him?"

Jimmy shook his head. "No, at first light, me an Cody’ll look for him…"

"I’m going with you!"

"No way!" Jimmy protested, raising his voice. "You’re not goin out there, it’s too dangerous for a woman!" After he’d said those words, he wished he could take them back.

"Too dangerous for a woman?" Nicky repeated. "James Butler Hickock, you know darn well that I can do anything you boys do!" As she spoke, she stood eye to eye with him. "I’m going, whether it’s now, or in the morning. It’s your choice."

Jimmy gave in. "Fine! Just don’t make us wait on ya."

"Thank you," she replied, hugging him.

"Welcome," Jimmy said. He’d have to get Cody up earlier, so they could leave before first light. In his heart, he knew Nicky could handle herself in this situation, but he’d feel better if she was safe at home. "Now, get some sleep."

Rachel helped Nicky undress, after Jimmy left. Not that she needed the help, but right now, she didn’t trust her enough to stay put.

"You gonna be alright?"

Nicky nodded. "I hope so."

Satisfied with that, Rachel left. Nicky waited until she heard Rachel’s door close then put her clothes back on.

"I’ll be gone well before dawn," she muttered, and went back to bed.

Chapter 4

Buck felt warmth on his face, and tried to open his eyes.

"Nicky?" He asked the blurred vision sitting next to the fire. "Is that you?"

"Ssshh," it replied. "You need our rest.

Buck’s vision cleared a little. The woman could have been a relative of Nicky’s. She had the same wild red hair, green eyes and tall frame.

"Here," the woman said, putting a mug to his lips. "Drink this."

He did as he was told. "Thank you."

"You’re welcome, young man."

He smiled. "Buck," he said. "My name’s Buck."

The woman returned his smile. "My name’s Annabelle, my friends just call me Belle," she replied. "Now, Buck, you get some rest."

"But, I’ve gotta…"

"You gotta nothin!" she interrupted. "Go back to sleep."

Buck did what he was told. All he wanted to do was see Nicky again. In his dreams, he did, and they were happy again.

Chapter 5

Rachel burst into the bunkhouse, sending the occupants to find cover.

"She’s gone!"

Jimmy zipped his pants and came out from hiding. "How long?"

"I don’t know," she answered. Maybe an hour or two."

"Cody," Jimmy said. "Let’s go. Everybody else, stay here case she comes back."

Rachel left the boys to get ready. Once she got back inside, she packed food for their trip. The whole time, she was thinking about Nicky. She wasn’t her real niece, but the daughter of a friend from her past. A past she wasn’t too proud of. Nicky’s mother kept in touch with her throughout the years, but suddenly, the letters stopped, until one summer afternoon, six months ago. A young girl dressed like a woman should dress, all in lace and satin, came to her door. Of course, the boys were full of questions for the red-haired spitfire, all of which she answered with style and grace. All of that changed the second day when she helped Kid mend the corral, dressed in black pants, buckskin boots, and a white shirt. They soon found out she could handle herself, and she’d became a best friend to Lou.

"Rachel," Lou said from behind her. "Jimmy an Cody’re ready…"

She was interrupted by Kid’s shout of "RIDER COMIN!"

The two looked at eachother, hope glimmering in their eyes. "Buck!"

Their hopes were diminished when they saw that Raven had returned alone.

"Is he okay?" Rachel yelled.

"He’s favorin his right leg," Kid shouted back, leading Raven to the barn.

"Hey, Cody!" Lou shouted into the wind. "Here."

Cody went to the steps and caught the sacks Lou tossed him. "Don’t worry, Rachel. We’ll find em."

The two watched as Cody and Jimmy left.

"They’ll be alright," Lou assured Rachel, as well as herself.

Rachel pulled her shawl tighter around her shoulders. "I hope so," she answered. "For all our sakes."

Chapter 6

Buck awoke to the sound of his name being softly called.

"Well, good afternoon," Belle greeted. "I trust you slept well."

"Yes ma’am," he replied. "Thank you."

"Do you think you can sit up?"

Buck wasn’t sure. "I can try."

In an instant, Belle was at his side helping him .For a moment, he was dizzy, but it subsided to a tolerable light-headedness.

"There you go. Now how bout some stew?"

"That would be nice, thanks."

Belle smiled at her guest. "You are a polite one, aren’t you?"

Buck felt his cheeks grow hot. "Where am I?" he asked, changing the subject.

"A little town called Angels Pass," she replied, putting the tray of food across his lap.

Buck thought for a minute. "Did I pass Widow’s Bluff?"

She took a sip of coffee before answering. "Widow’s Bluff," she pondered. "It’s about three miles up the road."

"Did you see my horse?"

Again she thought. "Sorry, son. You’re welcome to any of mine though."

"Man! Nicky’s gonna kill me!"

"Nicky?" She asked, her green eyes sparkling. "Your lady friend?"

Buck smiled at the term "Yes, ma’am. I needed a strong horse to get through the snow. She told me to take Raven."

"Smart woman."

He agreed. "Yes ma’am."

"Tell me about her," Belle requested, pouring Buck more coffee.

"How do I put her into words?" Buck thought aloud. "Her hair is as red as a wild fire, her eyes like emeralds. She always smells like apples and cinnamon. When she’s mad, her eyes sparkle like diamonds, and when she’s upset, she bites her bottom lip," he recalled. "She’s always worrying about the riders, putting herself last so that others can have more," again he paused. "When she’s sad, her eyes get this shadow behind them, like the tears wanna come, but she won’t let them. She always wants to be strong…"

"And you always want to protect her," Belle said.

"Yeah," he replied. "Sometimes it bothers her…"

"And you fight," she interrupted.

Buck nodded in agreement. "We fought the day I left…"

"You left her?"

"Oh, no ma’am," Buck quickly answered. "I ride for the Pony Express. I had a run to do, I had to leave."

"And you fought with her?"

Again, he nodded. "She didn’t want me to go. She said she had a dream, and that somethin bad was gonna happen," he paused, realizing that her dream had come true. "She wanted me to take Raven, and I did. I thought that’d make her happy."

"It didn’t?"

"No, she was still mad at me."

Belle offered. "You didn’t trust her intuition. A woman can see many things, especially a Fitzpatrick!"

Buck looked at Belle in wonder. He hadn’t told her Nicky’s last name. How could she know?

"Oh, don’t look so surprised," she said. "Nicole Marie Fitzpatrick is my great granddaughter. I haven’t seen her in so long," Belle remembered. "She probably doesn’t remember me."

This was Buck’s chance. "What was she like as a child?"

Belle smiled. "A holy terror!"

Buck laughed. "Somehow, I thought so!"

"Well, now," Belle said, putting an end to their conversation. "You need to get some rest so you can get back to my Nicky. She needs you in her life."

He didn’t argue. Sleep came quickly for him.

Chapter 7

Jimmy and Cody rode along the same trail as Buck had. Snow still fell, and day turned quickly into night.

"We shoulda seen her by now," Cody yelled over the roaring wind.

"Maybe we should turn back," Jimmy answered. It wasn’t exactly what he wanted to do, but she wouldn’t last out here.

"Hickock! She could be dead!"

"I know! But if we keep goin, we’ll be good as dead anyway!"

From the right of Cody, a horse came up from a ravine.

"Jimmy! That’s Lightning!"

Both boys dismounted and carefully made their way down the steep embankment. When they got to the bottom, they found Nicky. She was unconscious and half-frozen. Without a word said between them, they climbed back up and rode as fast as they could towards home.

Chapter 8

Jimmy paced outside Nicky’s door.

"You’re gonna put a hole in the carpet," Cody said staring out the window.

"Yeah, well, you ain’t moved from that spot in a while," he commented.

"Well, at least I’m standin still!"

Lou ignored the two as she filled a pitcher with water.

"How is she?" Kid asked.

Lou shook her head. "No change," she reported. "Don’t know if there’s gonna be one."

"Whad’dya mean?" Cody asked, overhearing their conversation.

Lou tried to explain. "It’s like she’s stayin that way till Buck comes back so she doesn’t hafta worry bout him."

Cody ran his hand through his blond locks. "Then we’d better hope that Buck gets home soon."

Lou walked to the bedroom, avoiding Jimmy’s steps.

"Hey, Lou," Jimmy said, stopping her. "She’s gonna be alright, ain’t she?"

Lou looked up into his eyes. "She’ll be fine, Jimmy. It’s just gonna take some time."

He stood in the doorway, watching Lou as she poured the water into the basin. Quietly, he joined her.

"Why don’cha go get some rest?" He suggested, taking the wet cloth from her. "I’ll watch over her."

"Jimmy…I…"

"Go on."

Reluctantly, Lou left the room, closing the door behind her.

"Well, now," Jimmy said, his voice just above a whisper. "Seems like you got yourself into a little bit of trouble, Nicky!" He placed the cool cloth on her forehead, cursing the fact that it became warm soon after. "Now, I know you’re gonna tell me no, but it was my fault you left early. You don’t think I’d have kept my word," he paused wishing she’d open her eyes. "I always keep my word, Nicky, always. So, I was gonna leave early, but after I left last night, I knew you were right. You have all the right in the world to wanna go after Buck, and I was wrong to tell ya different. Buck’s gonna come home, I can guarantee that. He’d be a fool not to!"

He looked down at her. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful. If Buck hadn’t swept her off her feet, he sure would’ve tried. Holding her hand, he closed his eyes, and dreamed of what might have been.

Chapter 9

Buck stood in front of the window. He felt better than he had in a long time. His arm, somehow, had been just fine the entire time he was at Belle’s, and he was definitely ready to go home.

"Well," Belle greeted. "You certainly are up early."

"Couldn’t sleep."

"You were dreaming about her last night."

Buck turned and said, "How’d you know?"

She smiled. "You kept saying her name."

"Y’know, Belle," Buck began. "You seem to know a whole lot, how is that?"

"I’m an old woman, Buck. I’ve seen enough in my day to tell what’s happening in yours," she paused, motioning for him to sit with her. "Tell me about the dream."

He joined her at the table, wondering if Nicky would look this way when she got old.

"You were right, I was dreaming of Nicky," he confessed. "We were happy again. Laughing," he paused trying to remember. "But then, I saw her at home, She looked like she was sleeping, but my friend Jimmy was at her side. He was holding her hand," a feeling of despair and fear washed over him. "That wasn’t a dream was it?"

Belle looked into his eyes, calming his fear somehow. "What do you think?"

"I think I’ve gotta get home," he replied, standing up.

"You’re sure about this?"

"I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life."

Belle smiled. "Then go to her," she said. "Take the gray horse, Spitfire, he’s my fastest."

Quickly, Buck dressed for the bitter cold that would greet him that morning.

"Thank you, Belle," he said, kissing the cheek of the old woman. "I’m gonna bring Nicky back here to see you."

Belle smiled again. "No need, Buck. I’m sure I’ll see you again."

Buck put on his hat and went outside. The clouds had given way to clear blue skies and sunshine. The cold wind that he’s heard coming through the windows had stopped. He found Spitfire secured to a tree, awaiting him.

"Looks like I’m going home," he said stroking the horse’s neck.

Chapter 10

"Supper!" Rachel announced, knowing no one would eat.

Lou and Kid sat down, giving hopeful looks to one another. Moments later, they were joined by Jimmy and Cody. They all picked wordlessly at the chicken Rachel had prepared.

"Look," Rachel said, finally breaking the silence. "Everything’s gonna be fine, and none of you are gonna do either one of them any good if ya don’t eat."

"I never done her any good anyway," Jimmy said getting up.

"Jimmy," Rachel called.

"You were there, Rachel," he stormed back. "I forced her into this…"

"Hickock!" Cody began. "She was goin by herself whether you liked it or not! Once she gets somethin in that head of hers, she don’t let it go!"

"Cody, you don’t understand…"

"The hell I don’t!" He stormed back. "How many times she done somethin I told her not to, just to prove she could?" He waited to see Jimmy’s reaction, then softly added. "She’s my friend too, ya know!"

Jimmy sat back down without another word. Cody wouldn’t let up unless he stopped arguing, and he was in no mood to argue.

After supper, Jimmy had retreated to Nicky’s side, and Kid and Cody went to get more wood for the fire. As Rachel and Lou finished dishes, the front door blew open.

"Buck!" Lou shouted. "You’re alright!" She ran to him, and hugged her friend.

"Where’s Nicky?"

Lou didn’t know what to say. "There was an accident…"

Buck didn’t want to hear anymore. He walked past her and went into Nicky’s room. Jimmy stood up.

"Buck…"

"What happened, Jimmy?"

"She went to look for you," he replied. "Cody an I found her…"

"I caused this," he whispered and sat down on the bed, her hand in his.

"I tried to stop her," Jimmy explained. "I told her to wait till mornin and she didn’t listen."

Buck’s eyes never left Nicky. "Don’t beat yourself up about it, Jimmy," he assured him. "I should’ve made up with her. I just hope I get my chance."

Chapter 11

The morning sun filtered in through the bedroom curtains, warming the small room. The smell of freshly baked bread and coffee found it’s way through the open door. It was everything that had always made Nicky feel safe.

She opened her eyes, seeing Buck sitting in a chair by the window. His hair glistened in the sunlight. He looked so peaceful, so content. She felt her heart skip when she thought of their fight.

"Hey," Jimmy said, poking his head in the door. "You’re up!"

Nicky smiled. "Yeah." She nodded towards Buck. "Don’t wake him."

"I’ll tell the others you’re okay," Jimmy said, thankful that his friends were fine.

As Jimmy walked away, Nicky pulled the covers off her. Quickly, she dressed, and brushed her hair.

"Nicky," Buck said. "What’re you doin?"

She smiled. "I’m getting ready for breakfast. So should you."

He walked to where she sat in front of the mirror. Standing behind her, he looked at their reflection and smiled.

"What?" Nicky asked.

"I was afraid that I’d never get to see us like this again."

Nicky’s face became sad. "Me either." She stood up and looked into his brown eyes, her heart melting. "I’m sorry…"

Buck stopped her with his lips. "You have nothin to be sorry about," he said after pulling away. "I was wrong, you were right, and that’s all there is to it."

Nicky smothered her face in Buck’s chest and allowed silent tears to fall.

Buck cupped her face in his hands. "I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too."

Chapter 12

"So, where’d ya get the horse?" Jimmy asked as they ate breakfast.

Buck sipped his coffee. "Oh, from this nice lady. She helped me get better."

Nicky looked at him. "Really?"

"Yeah," he replied. "Her name was Annabelle Fitzpatrick."

At the mention of the name, Nicky dropped her fork. "Who?"

Puzzled, he replied. "Your great grandmother."

"Impossible!"

"How’s that?" Cody asked.

"She’s dead. Been dead since I was eight."

Chapter 13

Spring broke after a dreadful winter. Flowers bloomed and wild grass began to peek through the remaining patches of snow.

"I tell ya, Nicky," Buck said dismounting. "The house was right here."

Nicky took his hand in hers. "Come with me."

They walked through the remains of an old house and past the broken gate. A few feet past the barn, they came to a small family cemetery.

"That’s my mom’s grave," Nicky pointed. "My grandma’s and right there’s Gramma Belle’s."

Disbelievingly, Buck walked closer to the old tombstone. "Annabelle Fitzpatrick," he read aloud. "Beloved Grandmother, Great Grandmother, Mother, Sister, and Wife."

"Yep!" She said, tears in her eyes. "She told my mamma she’d be lookin after me, long after she died."

Buck embraced her. "Good thing for us, she was."

After a kiss, hand in hand they walked back to their horses, confident that Belle was smiling down on them.

The End