The Storm

By Renee

The people whispered behind her back, the same people that had greeted her with smiles several years before. She knew she should’ve never come back. Part of her wanted to leave in the night as she’d done before. For once, she listened to the voice that told her only good could come from her return.

She placed the few goods she wanted to buy on the counter, and waited for Tompkins to finish with the woman in front of her.

"Good afternoon, Renee," he greeted in his most pleasant business voice. "How are you today?"

She’d be pleasant, eventhough his eyes said something different from his voice. "Fine, thank you."

That’s two dollars," he said placing her goods back in her basket.

Renee placed the money on the counter. She knew better than to ask for credit, and Tompkins never offered.

"You have a nice day now."

"You too," she called over her shoulder.

She could feel their eyes on her. Eyes that dared to judge her without having the slightest idea what her life was like in Chicago. That was their problem, and if they didn’t like it, she could care less.

"Renee, hey, Renee," a familiar voice called from behind.

She turned to see Jimmy and Kid walking towards her.

"You guys!" She squealed, throwing her arms around them. "It’s been a long time!"

Jimmy smiled, squinting against the February sun. "You didn’t tell us you were back."

Renee looked to the ground for answers. "Didn’t think you’d wanna see me again."

"Why not?" Kid asked, almost too cheerful. "You’re like family."

"Didn’t know family deserted each other," she replied.

Jimmy met her dark chocolate eyes. Easily he saw the hut and guilt she tried so hard to hide. "So, you left. Ain’t like you had anything here."

Apparently, Jimmy chose to forget a large portion of the time she’d spent at the Station House.

"Why don’cha come for supper tonight?" Kid asked, changing the subject. "I’m sure you, Rachel an’ Lou got a lotta catchin’ up to do."

Renee shook her head, "I don’t think anyone there wants to see me…"

"Sure they do!" Kid tried again. "C’mon, it’ll be fun."

She ignored the fear that gripped her heart. "Okay, sure."

Jimmy and Kid looked at eachother, amazed that she’d agreed.

"See ya later then," Jimmy said.

Renee watched her friends as they mounted their horses and headed for the way station. All the way back to her house, Renee tried to convince herself that she was doing the right thing, seeing Buck again would be just like seeing Jimmy and Kid moments ago. Secretly, she hoped that he was on a run tonight.

Chapter 2

The station house smelled of baked chicken and peach pie, coffee and biscuits. They were the things that made Renee feel safe. All the things she missed when she lived in the city.

Everyone sat around the table, talking about the Valentine’s Day dance at the Saloon. Renee sat quietly across from Buck as she had since the day he’d joined the Pony Express. She’d lived in Sweetwater all her life. She’d been waiting tables at the saloon when Teaspoon approached her about working with Emma. Shortly before Emma and Sam were married, she and Buck began to realize they loved eachother. Now she avoided his gaze, fearful of what she’d find in the eyes she’d lost herself in so long ago.

"So, whad’dya say, Renee?" Cody asked.

Renee looked around, brushing a stray lock from her eyes. "About what?"

"I asked if you wanted your old job back," Rachel repeated, placing her hand on Renee’s arm. "It really would be nice to have you back."

Renee fought the urge o pull away from Rachel’s touch. Her old job back? She’d have to see Buck every day, and she was sure he didn’t need her in his life. "I don’t know," she said looking into her coffee cup for answers.

"C’mon," Lou urged. "It’ll be just like old times."

"Yeah," Cody helped. "Sure could go for a piece of your chocolate cake!"

Jimmy couldn’t help but get caught up in the excitement of his friends’ return. "It ain’t right, you stayin’ in that house by yourself…"

"Y’know," Kid said, taking a cue from Jimmy. "Jimmy’s right. You weren’t alone before, no need for you to be now."

Finally, Renee looked to Buck, the only one left to encourage her. He met her eyes and without a word, stood and left.

An uneasy stillness washed over them. No one was quite sure what to say.

Weakly, Renee smiled. "Well," she said quietly. "Guess I know where Buck stands on that subject."

Rachel stood and headed for the door.

"Leave him be," Renee said. "Apparently, he wants to be alone." She needed the money, and the fact that she’d be among friends made staying in Sweetwater a brighter prospect. "I’d love to have my old job back."

After dishes were done, and Renee had left, Buck returned to the bunkhouse.

"Happy?" Jimmy asked.

Buck didn’t care what his friend thought. "’Bout what?"

"That whole thing with Renee."

Buck shrugged. "Had stuff to do."

Jimmy got up from his bunk and stood next to his friend. "You were wrong," he scolded. "She didn’t do anything but come here for supper…"

"Look, Jimmy," Buck interrupted, not wanting to hear a lecture from him. "I’d appreciate it if you’d just mind your own business for once."

He went to argue, but realized that Buck still had his coat on. "Where’d you go?"

"No where."

A grin crossed his lips, as he shook his head. "You followed her home, didn’t you?"

Buck hung up his coat and dressed for bed without answering him.

"C’mon, Buck," he urged as Buck climbed under his covers. "You can tell me."

There was only one way to shut Jimmy up. "Yes," he admitted. "I followed her home."

Jimmy simply laughed. "G’night, Buck!"

Buck didn’t say anything. He was too caught up in what used to be.

Chapter 3

Renee packed up what she knew she’d need. Once again, she was on the move, and feared the future. It took her no time at all to get back to the way station, much to her dismay. It was early, and Rachel was asleep. Quietly, she placed her bags in the bedroom, and fixed breakfast. She was comfortable, falling into the routine she’d had so long ago. After hungry mouths were fed, and dishes were put away, she retreated to the bedroom she now called home.

A knock on the door caused her to jump. "Come in."

Rachel opened the door. "Getting settled in?"

She smiled, hiding her journal in the desk drawer. "Yes, thanks."

"We’re takin’ a ride into town, you wanna come along?"

"Nah," she replied. "I think I’ll just stick around here." No use getting stared at.

Rachel embraced the young woman. "It’s nice to have you back."

"Thanks," Renee answered, pulling away. "It’s nice to be back."

After Rachel had gone, and all her things were unpacked, Renee headed to the living room. The house was quiet without the boys around. She heard the wind angrily rattling the windows sending flakes of snow under the door. Curious, she opened the door allowing a blast of arctic air to enter the room.

"Shit!" she cursed out lour, reaching behind the door.

She pulled on Jimmy’s coat. The gray sky had become more ominous and she swore the temperature had dropped. The storm was coming from the direction of town. She prayed her friends would find shelter, and not try to make it home.

Renee made her way to the woodshed, all the while planning her next step. She carried all the wood she could inside.

"Well guys," she said entering the barn. "Looks like we’re in for a good old fashioned blizzard."

While she spoke, she filled the feed and added hay to the stalls.

"I’ll be back as soon as I can."

She closed the barn door, locking it from the outside. Snow whipped around her as the wind hampered her efforts to return to the wood shed.

"This ought to be fun!" She said to the wind.

She wasn’t a stranger to hard work and chopping wood was a necessity. Again, Renee hoped that no one would be stupid enough to try to beat out the storm to get home. The wind tried its hardest to knock her from her feet, but only succeeded in freeing her hair from its ponytail and numbing her body.

Carefully, she made her way to the house. Snow bit at her face, icy and unrelentless, as the wind took her breath away. Finally, she was inside, piling the wood in the kitchen next to the stove.

"One more trip!" She convinced herself, pulling the coat closer around her.

The bunkhouse had wood she wanted. There was no telling just how long the storm would last. Slowly, into the wind, she made her way. A walk that took two minutes when she strolled now felt like an eternity. Once inside, she sat down on the nearest bunk, every breath causing frigid air to go deeper into her chest, leaving her with the feeling that she’d just swallowed ice.

The wind shook the door, trying to pull it free from the bunkhouse.

"Great!" She said seeing the two lonely logs that were left. She’d made the trip for nothing.

Reluctantly, Renee went to leave the safety of the bunkhouse. The gusting wind threw the door open, sending Renee careening backwards, her head striking the table.

Frigid, empty blackness embraced her, as the wind swirled over her, putting out the fire, bringing the snow inside.

Chapter 4

Snow paralyzed tiny Sweetwater. It was as if the cloud never moved, it’s full force aimed at the town and it’s surrounding land.

Buck warmed himself by the fire. He’d found Renee the night before, inside the bunkhouse, half-frozen and unconscious. There were blisters on her hands from chopping wood. Quietly, he went back into the room to find her sitting on the bed, her head in her hands.

"You should be in bed," he said setting his coffee cup on the nightstand.

"I’m fine," she lied, not looking at him. As it was, she regretted sitting up.

Buck squatted in front of her. Gently he took her right hand from her head. "Lemme see."

After a moment, she looked up, and wished she hadn’t. The room spun just enough to make her nauseous.

"Close your eyes," he instructed, as he went to put his hand on her shoulder.

She saw his hand coming towards her, and flinched. "Please don’t touch me," she said without thinking.

When she did open her eyes again, she saw the hurt in his. She wanted to hold him, to apologize for hurting him, for leaving him. She fought the urge to kiss the soft lips she’d dreamed of every night. Yesterday had proved to her that he wanted nothing to do with her.

"How’d you find me?" Renee asked, standing. The room didn’t spin as much, and the nausea remained at a minimum. The pain hadn’t subsided, but she wouldn’t let Buck know.

Buck stood to allow her to get by. "I had the fastest horse, so Rachel sent me to be with you," he explained, leaving out the part about how it was him that wanted to go. Rachel had argued with him, saying that Renee was resourceful enough, and would be fine. He couldn’t let himself tell her that it was him that was worried. "I saw that the horses were taken care of, but the house was empty. That’s when I headed for the bunkhouse."

"Good thing you found me!" Renee said, pulling on a sweater behind the screen. She peeked around the side and smiled. "Thank you."

Her smile brought back so many feelings, feelings he pushed aside. "You’re welcome."

Renee emerged from behind the screen dressed in a heavy white sweater and a pair of black pants.

Buck grinned. "No dress?"

She shook her head. "Not in this weather!" She replied. "You hungry?"

He simply shrugged. "Not really."

Renee scrunched up her nose. "Me either."

The pair wordlessly went into the living room and sat by the fire. Before Buck sat down, he took a small jar from the kitchen table.

"Gimme your hands," he said crouching in front of her again.

Renee arched her eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

Buck looked from the glob of salve on his finger to her. "For your blisters."

She gave him her hands, palms up. At first it stung, then tingled. Tenderly he rubbed the clear gel-like medicine into her hands.

"Why’d you do it?" Buck asked, tending to her left hand.

"Do what?"

He wasn’t sure if he should ask again, but he couldn’t stay here, alone with her, without knowing the truth.

"Why’d you leave with Cory?"

Renee pulled her hand from his. "Don’t, Buck," she said standing and turning away from him.

"C’mon, Renee!" he yelled. "Don’t you think I deserve an explanation? This storm’s gonna keep us here for a while…"

She turned around, facing him. "YOU deserve an explanation? What about me? How many nights did I lay awake waiting for word that you were okay when you were late returning? How many days did I spend alone while you went off without a word? How many times did I express my love to you without any reply?"

"At least I didn’t leave town with someone else!"

"I didn’t leave, Buck. You drove me away!"

Those words hurt more than a slap in the face, but at that moment, Renee didn’t care.

"What brought you back? City life not what you expected?"

"I don’t wanna do this, Buck." She said, turning away from him again.

"YOU? This isn’t about YOU!" He stormed. For the first time in his life, Buck was bitter. There were months of unanswered questions, unreleased anger. "What’s the matter, Renee? Afraid to admit you failed? That you’re not perfect? That you weren’t a good enough wife, so Cory left you like you left me?"

Renee spun around. "You have no idea what my life was like when I left here," she shouted, tears falling from her brown eyes. "All those things they’re sayin’ about me in town are true, Buck!"

He took a step towards her, reaching for her at the same time. Instantly, Renee recoiled, putting her arms over up to protect her face. For a moment, neither of them moved. As Renee realized what she’d done, out of habit, she ran for the safety of her room.

Buck watched as she ran. Before this storm was over, he’d make things better. He had to…needed to make her understand he still loved her.

Chapter 5

Buck knocked softly on Renee’s door, waiting for her to yell at him to go away. There was no answer, so he knocked again, balancing the tray in one hand.

"Renee," he called. "C’mon, open up. I brought you some supper."

A wave of fear washed over him as no answer came. Carefully, he opened the door. Renee was nowhere to be seen. He placed the tray on the desk and looked around. In the corner, next to the bed she sat. Her knees pulled up to her chest, her head down on her folded arms.

"Renee," Buck whispered, sitting down next to her. "Are you alright?"

Slowly, she lifted her head. Her brown eyes lost, scared and red from crying. "I’m so sorry," she whispered.

Buck smiled sympathetically and wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "It’s okay…"

Renee shook her head. "The things I said…"

"We both said some things we shouldn’t have," he interrupted. "Do you wanna eat somethin’?"
"No," she said. "I have to explain."

Buck put his finger to her lips. "No, you don’t…"

She took his soft hand into her s. "Please, I need at least one person in this town to know the truth, and you’re the one who deserves to."

He almost forgot what it was like to hold her hand. Almost. "Fine," he said wanting to help he as best as she could.

"I believed that you didn’t love me any more. For me to stay here would be torture on you, and me. That night, Cory took me away, we hopped the train for wherever it was going and it ended up in Chicago. He tried to get a job, and I worked in the saloon, again. After a while, I’d come home and nothing I did was right. Nothing seemed to please him. We’d argue, he’d hit me, end of argument," she stopped seeing the disbelief in Buck’s eyes. "I wasn’t the same person I was when I was here, Buck. Instead of standing up for myself, I cowered in the corner. Instead of having a nice night out, I was washing blood out of my clothes. Then one morning, I woke up, and he was gone. All that was left was a couple of dresses I’d brought along. He never found the money I’d stashed in a jar in the floorboard, thank God. I went into town to buy some things, and no one would talk to me. Some lady called me a slut, somebody else spit on me. One of the girls I worked with told me how Cory had told her I used to beat him, and how I’d slept around."

"What did you do?"

Renee smiled timidly. "I did what I do best. I left, that night. When I got here, I found out that Cory had told his brother everything, only he admitted that he beat me. Cory’s brother thought it was the right thing to do to tell everyone else."

"But you slept with all those men…"

Renee shook her head. "Only according to Cory."

Buck looked at the woman who’d broken his heart. "You did this because you thought I didn’t love you anymore?"

Nervously, Renee met his eyes. She knew she was wrong to have left. She’d done a terrible thing to Buck, and he had every right to be mad at her. "No," she admitted. For the first time, she was being honest with herself, as well as him. "It was never because of you, or anything you did, or could have done. It was because I was afraid to love you. Afraid of trusting you with things I’d never trusted anyone with. Afraid that if I let myself love you, you’d leave. Just like everyone before you, every lover, every friend, and my parents. If I went with Cory, I didn’t have to admit to myself that I loved you."

Buck stood, shocked and amazed. All this time, he’d thought he’d done something to turn her away. He was ready to tell her how much he loved her, how he never stopped thinking about her. Now, it was his turn to leave the room. She’d lied to him, twisted things around to make him sound like the one at fault.

He’d heard her softly call his name. He’d heard the sobs as he closed the door behind him. How could she be so heartless? He’d loved her with all his heart, and she didn’t trust him enough with hers.

Chapter 6

It was night, at least it felt like it should be. Renee couldn’t sleep, partly because of the guilt she felt, and partly due to the pain in her head. As she stared at the ceiling, listening to the wind’s lonely howl, she wondered what hurt more: her head or her heart.

Why? Was the question that tugged at her soul. Why had she listened to the little voice that told her not to trust Buck? Why did she leave instead of trying to tell Buck what was happening?

Tears fell from her eyes again as she remembered the look on his face before he left the room. Crying wasn’t going to help, it never did, and it was only making the pain in her head worse. She remembered Rachel always had some sort of painkiller in her room. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, and immediately regretted it. Her head pounded with a vengeance, punishing her for all that had happened.

Slowly, she walked down the hallway, trying to ignore the dizziness that threatened to throw her off balance. She only had a few feet to go when she saw Buck sitting in the living room, staring into the fire. Quietly, she walked closer to him.

"Hey," She said, here voice sounding loud in her head.

Buck tore his eyes away from the fire. "What’re you doin’ up?" He asked, his voice cold and unfeeling.

"I was on my way to Rachel’s room," she explained. "I was getting somethin’ for my head."

His voice sounded concerned. "Is it still bothering you?"

She wanted to say no, she just wanted to see what he would say. "Yeah. It’s pretty bad."

He stood and walked to her. Her face was pale, dark circles had formed under her eyes, making them appear as if they’d sunk into her head. They were red and bloodshot from crying and lack of sleep.

"C’mon," he said. "Let’s get you back into bed. Then I’ll bring you somethin’ for the pain."

At least he could ease the pain in her head. His pain would heal, in time, but first, he had to forgive her. Hopefully, that would come in time as well.

"I’ll be right back," he said after he’d pulled the covers up to her chin.

She hadn’t eaten all day, which probably made matters worse. All she wanted to do was sleep, to forget that this day even happened. She hated herself for what she’d done to the one man who truly loved her.

"Here," Buck said, handing her a cup of what looked like water, only a little cloudy. "It’ll help you sleep too."

Renee drank the citrus flavored drink. "Thank you."

"If you need me, I’ll be sleepin’ in Rachel’s room," he advised her.

She felt sleep gently pulling her lids closed. "Okay," she said before allowing herself to slip into the black void of sleep.

Buck waited a few moments, until her breathing became steady. He brushed a stray lock of chestnut hair from her forehead.

"G’night, Ray Ray," he whispered, using the name Cody and Jimmy teased her with.

Tomorrow would be a better day, he’d make sure of it. She’d come back, and that was difficult, maybe more difficult than exposing her heart to him.

Chapter 7

Buck heard the woman’s scream in his sleep, or so he thought. Then it came again. It took him a moment to familiarize himself with his surroundings. The screaming had stopped, leaving the house dead quiet.

"Renee," he whispered, tossing the covers from his still clothed body.

He opened the door to find her sitting in bed, staring through tear-filled eyes at the window.

"What happened?" he asked. "What’s wrong?"

Renee looked over to him, allowing the tears to fall, cursing herself. "It was so real," she managed.

Buck sat next to her, holding her while her tears fell silently. "Sssshhh, everything’s gonna be alright."

She shook her head. "No, it’s not. Cory…his hands were around my throat. He was trying to kill me," she said looking up into his eyes. "It was so real."

Buck stroked her hair. "You’re alright now. No one’s gonna hurt you anymore. I promise you…"

She laughed sarcastically through her tears. "Don’t make promises you can’t keep."

He put his hand under her chin, making her eyes meet his. "I don’t make promises I can’t keep," he said softly.

In that one moment, time stood still. Their past disappeared, their future had yet to be created. Buck leaned in towards her, his hair spilling forward, mixing with hers. Tenderly, he kissed her. Her lips were salty from her tears, yet he wanted to taste them over and over. Part of him yelled to stop, and for once, he ignored it.

Renee pulled away. The last thing she wanted was for him to do this because he felt sorry for her. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" She asked, her voice just above a whisper. If he said yes, she’d give him her heart to do with what he pleased.

His eyes memorized every inch of her face, as if this was the last time he’d ever see her. "More than you know."

That night, while the storm raged on, Buck took Renee tenderly, lovingly, again and again. When they finished, she fell asleep in Buck’s arms. For once, she felt safe. Everything had come full circle.

Chapter 8

Renee awoke late the next morning. Sleepy-eyed, she found the bed empty beside her. Was last night just a dream? Had she really made love to the man whose heart she’d broken? Her body told her she most definitely had. As she dressed in another sweater and pants, the throbbing in her head died to a dull ache. She looked out the window, and saw the first rays of sunlight. The storm had passed. All that was left was the digging out.

As she made her way to the kitchen, she noticed the fire had died in the fireplace. She used the last of the wood to start it up again, and set off to make coffee. The house was so quiet, as if it were holding its breath. Why had Buck let the fire die? Surely, he was awake by now, why didn’t he come out?

"Buck," she called, heading for Rachel’s room. "C’mon, time to get up."

She opened the door to find the bed made and the room empty. She had to keep herself from running to the door.

"Buck," she called, running through the few inches of snow that hadn’t been cleared.

The air was frigid, even more than before. As she ran, Renee cursed herself for not putting on a coat. Her mind raced as her brown eyes searched the silent landscape for any sign of Buck. Her heart pounded, threatening to burst from her chest.

"What’re you doin’ out here?" Buck’s voice came from behind her.

She turned to find him carrying wood. Without thinking, she ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck. In the process, the wood fell with a thump into the snow.

"Oh, God!" She said. "I thought something happened to you."

He smiled, holding her close. "I’m fine," he answered breathing in her scent. He felt her shudder under his embrace. "We’d better get you inside."

Without another word, she helped him pick up the wood, and retreated to the house. Buck didn’t argue. He’d learned long ago that it never worked. Last night, everything felt as if it should’ve been. He’d watched her as she slept. Watched her breathe, just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. She looked so peaceful, so amazingly beautiful. That’s the image he’d carried with him as he cleared the snow during the night. It was the image in his mind now, as he piled the wood next to the fireplace. He stood and watched her in the kitchen as she fixed two cups of coffee. It felt right, the two of them alone like this.

"Here," she said, handing him a steaming mug. "Now, sit by the fire and warm yourself."

She was fussing over him, and he could tell she was enjoying it.

"Renee, I’m fine," he finally protested, as she put a blanket over him.

She bent down and softly kissed his lips. "Let me worry," she told him. "It’s the least I can do."

Buck grinned, shaking his head. There was nothing he could do. He closed his eyes, and allowed the warmth of the fire to lull him to sleep.

Chapter 9

It was Valentine’s Day, the night of the dance at the saloon.

Buck had ventured into the cold to search for food. All that was left in the house was some carrots, potatoes, and onions. There was enough left to make another batch of biscuits, and the coffee would last another few days. Renee melted snow in the hanging pot in the fireplace for water.

"Rabbit!" Renee said, dicing the fleshy meat. "Not my first choice, but its dinner."

She wasn’t sure just who she was talking to, because Buck had disappeared into Rachel’s room, exhausted.

After putting the biscuits in the oven, she retreated to her room. She took the barrette from her hair, allowing chestnut locks to spill past her shoulders.

"Don’t blow this!" She said to her reflection as she brushed her hair. "Just relax, and let him do what he needs to do."

From her closet, she pulled a dress the color of snow. She slipped it over her head, and buttoned the four tiny pink heart shaped buttons in the front. She looked in the mirror, amazed at just how much of her breasts the sweetheart neckline showed. Again, she piled her hair up, allowing a few tendrils frame her face. For once, Renee was pleased at how she looked. Especially the way the sleeves came to a point over her hand. Quickly, she adjusted the loop her finger had to go through and headed for Rachel’s room.

Renee didn’t knock, she simply peeked inside. For a moment, she watched as he slept. He looked so peaceful an angelic. She longed to be in his arms, but there would be time for that later. With one last look, she softly closed the door.

As the biscuits cooled, she spread a soft blue tablecloth over the table. In the center, a silver candelabra. She lit the white tapers, and set the table. Everything was perfect.

She had just turned to head back to Rachel’s room when the front door burst open.

"Somethin’ smells great!" Cody said, hanging his coat on a peg.

Renee’s jaw dropped. Of all the times for them to return! This couldn’t be happening!

"Um," she started to say. "There’s not a lot…"

Kid smiled. "We brought back some stuff."

Rachel lifted the lid off the pot. "Rabbit stew," she commented. "Not to worry, I’ll fix it."

Renee wanted to yell that everything was fine. Nothing needed fixing. Everything had been perfect, in every way. They just needed to leave! All of them! She watched in horror as Cody ate a biscuit.

"These are great!" He said, paying no mind to the look on Renee’s face.

"ARGH!" Renee yelled, her hands balled into fists at her side. Without another word, she went to her room.

So much for Valentine’s Day.

Chapter 10

It was late. The stars were out, sparkling high in the midnight blue sky. Renee sat on the floor, her back resting against the foot board of the bed. She sat there, staring at the stars, drowned in self-pity. Suddenly, her stomach rumbled, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten.

Smoothing out her skirt, she headed for the door. The house was quiet. Apparently, everyone had retreated to the bunkhouse, and Rachel was asleep. That was a good thing, want to explain the reasons behind her little tantrum. She took an apple from the basket on the table, and headed for the living room.

"Nice dress," she heard from her right.

She turned to see Buck sitting in the shadows.

"It sure does take you a long time to get over things doesn’t it?" he teased.

Renee smiled as Buck walked over to her. "I was too embarrassed to come out!" She explained. "I acted like such a big baby."

He chuckled, brushing a lock of her hair from her eyes. "I don’t think anyone cared," he excused her. "C’mon, I’ve got somethin’ to show you."

Renee accepted the coat that Buck handed her, and took his hand. She was scared and excited at the same time. Her heart raced as he led her through the drifts of snow. The air was cold, but she couldn’t feel it.

Buck stopped at a tiny cabin, well behind the station house. "I built this while you were gone," he admitted. "Sort of worked on my anger."

Renee waited as he opened the door. It was lit by candles of different shapes and sizes, colors and scents. The furniture was sparse, a couple of chairs, a table and a stove.

"Could use a little decorating!" Renee teased.

Buck smiled. "That’s what Rachel said!" They laughed, and everything seemed as it used to be. "C’mon."

"What?"

He looked into Renee’s eyes. "I told you I have to show you somethin’!"

She smirked. "So, this wasn’t it?"

Buck didn’t answer, he simply guided her along. They reached a door and he blocked her view. "Close your eyes."

He definitely had her curious. "Okay," she answered, doing as he said.

Buck opened the door, and walking backwards, led her forward both of her hands in his. "Alright, open them," he said letting go of her hands.

Renee’s breath caught in her throat. She stood in the center of a bedroom, a four poster bed directly in front of her. White lace curtains matched the bedspread and sham. Again, candles gave the room a warm glow, and in a vase by the window, dried wildflowers. On the nightstand, a basket of fresh fruit and two glasses of pink liquid that reflected the candlelight beautifully. On the dresser behind her, among the candles, a silver frame with a photo of her and Buck. She remembered the day it was taken in Saint Joseph.

"Buck," she said softly. "This is so beautiful."

He walked back to her, putting his hands on her hips, pulling her close. "It’s yours."

Renee looked at him, her eyes full of disbelief. "What?"

He smiled. "Happy Valentine’s Day."

"But…why?"

"Why not?" He answered her question with a question.

Renee pulled away, turning away from Bucks loving eyes. "Because I don’t deserve it."

She heard him sigh, and could picture the look in his face, in his eyes. "Yes, you do."

"After all I’ve done to you, you still think so?"

Buck took Renee by the shoulders, turning her to face him. He cupped her face in his hands. "You came back," he said. "You made things right."

She shook her head. "I never should have made them wrong to begin with."

"Can you forgive yourself, like I’ve forgiven you?"
Renee thought for a moment, searching her soul for the answer. She looked into his eyes, the candlelight reflected in them reminded her of the stars in the night sky. "Yes," she whispered.

Buck pulled her close, amazed at how she made him feel whole again.

Renee looked up into his eyes again. "I have only one thing to give you for Valentine’s Day."

His eyebrows arched. "Really?"

Renee backed up, unbuttoning the buttons on her dress, her brown eyes lustful. In moments, it fell to the floor, exposing all the wonders that were hers and hers alone.

Buck bit his bottom lip as he watched. "Wahddya say we put that fruit to good use?" he asked sweeping her off her feet.

That night, as they lay blissfully exhausted in each other’s arms, they spoke of what was to be. Both excited over their new lives together.

The End