And Then There Were Four

By Renee

Rebecca lit the candle in the window, just as she had for the past week. Everyone had gone to bed hours ago, leaving her in blessed silence. The house was big, five bedrooms on the second floor alone. It was a gift, a refurbished boarding house actually, from the riders. Buck and his friends had worked so hard on it, which made it even more special.

Buck had gone on a run, his last one. They’d hidden the fact that he was married from the company with the help of Teaspoon. Now, Teaspoon, Cody, and Kid were out looking for Buck.

She remembered their last night together, and how they’d been so happy. They discussed their future and how they were going to open some rooms to borders, and Buck was going to raise horses.

In the morning, she’d go out to the rising sun, and pray, as she’d done for so long. Maybe this time someone would hear her.

Chapter 2

Kid looked down at the man on the table. A bullet had found its mark in his chest. There was nothing they could have done.

"We gotta bring him home, Teaspoon," Kid said, placing the sheet back over his face. "I don’t wanna be the one to tell Becca."

Teaspoon looked at him through tear-filled eyes. "No, son. I’ll do that," he assured him. "First, we gotta find Cody."

Cody had run out of the office the minute that Doc had removed the sheet. Kid went outside, the cool October air greeting him, helping him fight the nausea that enveloped him.

He could tell Cody was crying, even from in front of Doc’s. "We gotta go, Cody."

Cody never looked up. "Ain’t fair, Kid. Just ain’t fair."

Kid sat down next to him. "I know, Cody," he said. "It just don’t sit right."

"Why?" Cody asked looking at Kid, tears streaming from his ice blue eyes. "He ain’t never done nothin’ to no one. What gives somebody the right to shoot him?"

For once, Kid had no answer. He was having a hard enough time trying to make himself understand.

An hour later, the three were on their way back home. In the wagon, they took Buck home for a proper burial.

Chapter 3

Rachel saw Teaspoon and in an instant, she knew the news wasn’t good. She closed the door quietly, not wanting to wake Rebecca, who’d finally fell asleep on the couch.

"Teaspoon," she greeted, her eyes searching his for any sign of hope.

He dismounted, and turned her away from the approaching wagon. "It ain’t good, Rachel," he said softly. "Doc said he never woke up. Guess we can find comfort in that."

Rachel’s hand covered her mouth, trying to stop the sobs. Her heart shattered into a million pieces. Teaspoon pulled her into his embrace, hoping to ease her pain just a little.

"You’re lien’, Teaspoon!" Jimmy said from behind him. "Buck ain’t dead!"

"Now, just hold on, Jimmy," Teaspoon called out as Jimmy ran to the wagon.

Once inside, he pulled the lid off the coffin to reveal Buck’s lifeless body. Tears sprang into the eyes of the young man who’d take a challenge from any man. It was a cruel joke life had played on him. This was the way he was to die, not Buck. Carefully, he reached down, pulling Buck’s lifeless body towards him. He held his friend; the way Buck had held Ike, so long ago. Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe. The walls of the wagon were closing in on him. He carefully placed Buck back, and after a long moment, he put the lid back on. Taking a deep breath, trying to fight back the tears he couldn’t seem to stop, he exited the wagon. Silently he wished when he woke up in the morning, Buck would be in the kitchen with Rebecca, teasing her about how her cooking was not better than Lou’s was.

"I wanna tell her," he announced as Teaspoon went to say something.

Teaspoon looked at the boy who’d grown into a man in just a few months, long ago. "All right, Jimmy."

Without another word, he entered the house. Rebecca looked so peaceful as she slept, covered with her ever present Indian blanket. He smiled remembering the argument she and Buck had about buying it. Her black hair softly fell across her forehead, and her closed lids. Jimmy pictured the hurt and pain that would be in the brown eyes that mirrored Buck’s. After several minutes, Rebecca’s eyelids fluttered.

"Hey, Jimmy," she greeted his sleepily. When her eyes were able to focus, she saw how red Jimmy’s eyes were. "Jimmy talk to me," she said sitting up.

He took her hands in his, cursing himself for wanting to be the one to do this to her. He took a deep breath, and tried his best. "Teaspoon, Kid an’ Cody’re back," he said.

Rebecca tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. She knew what he was going to tell her, but she needed to hear it.

"Rebecca," he began. She saw the despair in his eyes and knew the truth. "Buck’s…Buck’s gone, Becca. He was shot…"

She heard the words she needed to hear, but she didn’t believe them. "James Butler Hickock," she said, standing. "You’ve played some cruel jokes on me, but this…"

Jimmy shook his head. "I’m not joking," he said, quietly, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

Everything she’d prepared herself for had come true. She thought she’d handle this with bravery, and strength. Instead, her world came tumbling down. Around her, everything reminded her of what she’d no longer have. The dream catchers, photos of the riders, the furniture, everything had a story and every story reminded her of Buck. This wasn’t happening; she couldn’t live without him.

"But," she said, looking into Jimmy’s eyes. "But, he’s gotta hang the curtains upstairs. He promised he’d do that, Jimmy. He promised me…"

Jimmy held her as his tears fell with hers. He’d never be able to tell Buck how much of a friend he was to him. Jimmy cursed himself for not being honest with him, and taking everything for granted. Silently, he vowed to watch over Rebecca. It was the least he could do for his friend.

"Um," Rebecca said, pulling away. "I’m sorry Jimmy. I didn’t mean to…"

He looked into her eyes. "You ain’t got nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout."

Rebecca smiled weakly. It was a polite smile, not one from her heart. She didn’t know if she’d ever smile like that again.

Without a word, Jimmy led her outside. Everyone let her be, knowing she had to say good bye, before she’d be able to talk. Jimmy helped her inside and stood dutifully outside.

Carefully, she removed the lid, as Jimmy had, her hands instantly covering her face. Tears streamed from her eyes as she now saw what Jimmy had told her. She looked down ant his lifeless body, her heart breaking.

"I love you, Buck," she whispered, absently brushing his hair from his face. "What do you say to someone you’ll never see again? Someone you’ll never hold, or kiss good night? You were my world, Buck, and I’ll never let you leave it. I don’t know how, or when, but I’m gonna see your dreams fulfilled. Everytime the full moon rises, and the stars come out, I’ll think of you and know you’re near," Rebecca took his hand in hers. It was as cold as the bitter winter wind, colder than he’d ever been. Tears fell again from her eyes as she kissed it tenderly, and held it to her cheek. She leaned in close, and kissed his lips. Lips that would never kiss her back. "Good bye, Buck."

Chapter 4

Cody wiped his eyes, hearing the barn door open. The last thing he wanted was company. He’d thought about riding off, to just find someplace to hide, to forget that this day even happened.

"Hey, Cody."

He heard her voice as soft as raindrops. She was the last person he wanted to see.

"Cody," she said again, putting her slender hand on his shoulder. "You okay?"

He nodded his head. "Ain’t never been better."

"You want some supper?" Rebecca asked.

"Was I at supper?"

Rebecca blinked in surprise. "I’ll leave you alone…"

Cody turned to face her. "Wait."

She set the tray down on a hay bale, and looked over her shoulder. "It’s all right, Cody."

He walked towards her, wishing he could make her feel better. At the same time, she searched for words to put the sparkle back in his blue eyes. Neither spoke, they simply found comfort in each other’s embrace, as they once again, shed tears.

"It was my run," Cody said, regaining his composure.

Rebecca bit her bottom lip. "I wanted him to take it."

"I should’ve been the one, Rebecca," he said turning away from her, his eyes searching the ceiling for answers. "Buck was a good man, he had a family. I ain’t got nothin’. I should be the one in that damned box, not him!"

"There’s no use in thinkin’ ‘bout the shoulda-woulda-coulda’s, Cody," Rebecca explained. She’d save her tears and be strong for her friends. "Fate had this in store for us. Just another challenge…"

Cody turned on her, his eyes fierce. "How can you say that? He was your husband for Christ’s sake!"

Rebecca fought back. "Yes, Cody, he was my husband, and I’d give anything to have him sitting here with me. Tonight, I’m gonna go upstairs, to bed, alone! Only, I won’t have the hope I had last night, because tomorrow, I get to release my husband’s spirit, so that he can be at peace. If I don’t see this as how life was meant to be, there’s no other way for me to stay strong, to not break down an’ cry every damned second I think about Buck!"

Cody went to apologize, but Rebecca had run away. He’d never meant to hurt her, but it had happened, now he’d have to make up with her, like he’d done so many times.

"Hey, Cody," Lou said bringing Lightning inside his stall. "I am starvin’! Sure hope you boys didn’t eat all the food!"

She heard Cody say something, but she was too hungry and tired to stick around to find out what he wanted. After washing up, and changing clothes, she headed downstairs to the kitchen. She’d come in the back door, so she wouldn’t track dirt through the living room. The house was quiet, unusually quiet. Something didn’t feel right, but then again, nothing had felt right since Buck left a week ago.

The kitchen was empty, except for Jake, a mutt who’d followed Cody home a month ago. In the oven, she found her plate, and after pouring herself a cup of coffee, she sat down to eat.

"Lou," Kid said her name, surprised to find her in the kitchen. "When’d you get in?"

She shrugged, sipping the coffee. "’Bout half an hour ago. Why?"

"You seen Jimmy or Cody?" Kid asked, hoping they’d done what he didn’t want to do.

"Yeah," Lou confessed. "Cody’s in the barn…"

She didn’t know. If she did, she wouldn’t be so calm, so collected.

"Lou, I gotta tell you somethin’," he began, not sure just how to continue. "It’s Buck…"

Her brown eyes lit up. "You found ‘em! Where is he?"
Kid shook his head. "Lou, listen to me!" He said holding her by her shoulders. "He didn’t make it, Lou…"

"What’re you sayin’, Kid?"

Kid took a deep breath. "Lou, he’s dead."

Lou couldn’t move. She heard the words, both times, but it couldn’t be true. How could it be? Buck took some time to be by himself now and then that’s what he was doing now.

She shook her head. "Kid," she said, pulling away from him. "Can’t be…you know him…"

"Stop it, Lou," he said. "Me an’ Cody put him in the wagon an’ brought him home…"

She turned to face him again. "Why? Of all the people in the world, why Buck?" She looked up into Kid’s eyes and saw the same question she’d just asked.

Kid simply shook his head. He didn’t have the answers before, when Cody had asked him either. He pulled Lou into his embrace and held her until her sobs stopped. He couldn’t imagine his life without Lou, and now they had to try to live without the person who served as the glue that held their family together.

Chapter 5

Rebecca dreaded this moment. She expected to do this years from now, not this sunny October afternoon. She’d avoided everyone all morning, and now they waited for her. There was nothing she could do to prolong this moment. Drying her eyes, she joined the others around the funeral pyre.

"You wanna say a few words, Rebecca?" Teaspoon asked, having already saying a prayer of his own.

What could she say? That it wasn’t fair? That she’d rather die than live without the one person that mattered in her world? After taking a deep breath, she began. "How do you put into words what your heart doesn’t quite understand? Each one of us was put on this earth for a reason. Buck’s was to make others happy. He touched each of us in a way that only we can understand. To the outside world, he was either Half-Indian, or half white. But to us, to the ones he knew mattered, he was simply, Buck. He was the one that reminded us to think with out hearts, to care for each other. How many times did he break up fights? He wasn’t perfect," she said, as a small smile played across her quivering lips. "Always stubborn and hard headed. Always hiding something, or at least it looked like he was," she paused, as everyone shared in their own memory. "He’ll never truly be gone. He’s all around us. In the dew on the grass, in the wind, at night, he’ll be the shimmer in the stars, and come winter, he’ll be the glitter in the new fallen snow. But, most of all, he’s in our hearts, and he’ll forever be at home there."

Several moments passed as fresh tears fell from now red eyes. None of their lives would ever be the same, but somehow, they would continue. Buck would have wanted it no other way.

Chapter 6

The moon was high in the night sky. Not a full moon, but the sliver of a crescent moon. It lit the way Rebecca needed to go. Clad in her Kiowa wedding gown, she carefully made her way to the hilltop behind their home. It overlooked rolling pasture where wild horses were free to roam. Just beyond there was a stream. That was where Buck had proposed to her. She carried with her the petals of two roses she’d saved before the frost came.

Carefully she sat on the bluff, for once this day, completely at peace.

"Buck, you gave me love unconditional," she said to the wind that softly caressed her. "I will keep your heart with me, as if you never left. And when your paths cross once again, I will remember all you’ve given and all you’ve shared. At that single, special moment, we shall again be one."

The dawn came soft and pink, enveloping Sweetwater. The October wind carried the red petals out onto the plain, towards the stream.

"A flower for you, a flower for me, together we’ll always be," she whispered.

She headed back towards her friends. They’d get through this, because they were a famliy. Buck had made sure of that.

The end