Wouldn't You Love To Love Her

****************

"JC, shut up! I've heard it enough. I know what I'm doing!" Rhiannon shouted pulling the thermometer from her brother, JC's, hand.

"Oh, really? If you knew what you were doing I don't think you would be in this position!" He shouted, trying to grab the thermometer once again.

Rhiannon let out a sob and felt the tears well up. "That's not fair and you know it!" She put her head in her hands and started to cry.

JC rolled his eyes and put his arm around his little sister's shoulders. "I'm sorry Rhee." He squeezed her and kissed her on the top if her head. "It's just hard for me to deal with this right now OK? You should be in school. You should be with Grammy and Gramps. You should-"

"I'm not living with them! Not now, not ever. Do you know what they would put me through! She hates me in the first place, but seeing me like this would just be perfect for her."

"OK, OK. I won't send you there. I'm sorry honey. Let's just stop crying OK?" He asked turning his head so he could see her face.

She nodded, but the pout was still there.

"Now, let me see that thermometer. Open up." He coaxed, in a soothing voice. She did as she was told and held the thermometer under her tongue. "If you are sick this will just make things perfect." He said under his breath. Rhiannon made a noise to protest but JC put his hand up. "No, keep the thermometer under! It's almost been a minute."

"Hey JC! Have you seen my hacky sack?" Justin asked coming in to the back room of the bus.

"I'm sorta busy here Justin. Give me a few minutes." He answered staring at his watch.

Justin looked from Rhiannon to JC and a look of confusion swept over his face. "Is she sick?" He asked stepping over to the couch where the small family was sitting.

Rhiannon tried to speak again, but JC grabbed the thermometer and gently wiggled it, warning her.

"She might be. She told me she wasn't feeling to well." He took the thermometer out, "Hmm, 100.4. A little high."

"I'm not sick. I'm pregnant." Rhiannon said to Justin who just nodded as if he understood.

"You are sick, now get up, you're going to bed." He grabbed her arm to help her up.

"I don't want to go to bed! I don't have to! I'm 17! You can't tell me what to do anymore." She whined looking up at him.

Justin laughed loudly. He shut up when he received a look from JC. "Get up now Rhiannon Marie Chasez!"

"Oooh! He's used your whole name!" Justin said with a surprised 'your gonna get it' voice.

JC ignored the younger man and grabbed both of Rhiannon's shoulders. He lifted her up from the couch and with a strong voice said, "You're going to go to bed now, or I'm sending you to Grammy's."

Rhiannon's lip pouted again, but she made no protest this time. She huffed, then shook of JC hand. "Fine, I'm going to bed. Just let me get a glass of water first." As she said her last sentence her voice trailed off into a cry.

Oh no. Not the waterworks again! Damn mood swings!

JC rolled his eyes at Justin who was still laughing and followed his wailing sister into the kitchen.

As she walked into the lounge Lance looked up from his magazine. "Oh, no! Rhee, what's wrong?" He asked putting his arm out to touch her.

"I'm going to beeee!" She started wailing now and JC grabbed her and turned her around. He gave his sister a comforting hug as the guys stared at him questioningly.

Lance mouthed the question "What's wrong with her?"

JC mouthed back "Mood swings."

Lance and the others nodded to each other and went back to doing whatever it was they were doing. JC lead his sister to her bunk and helped her into bed. He kissed her cheek before he left then closed the curtain and sank to the floor.

Brain, I don't know if I can take it anymore!

****************

"Hey buddy. How's it going?" Joey asked as JC sat down at the table across from Lance.

"Uh!" Was all that came out of JC as he threw his head down dramatically onto the tabletop.

"That bad huh?" Lance asked with a smile.

"Have you gotten a hold of Jake's parent's yet?" Joey asked.

"Nice way to cheer me up Jo." JC said from under his arm.

"Well, I just wanted to know. She's like a sister to me too you know." He said a little offended.

"You're right. Sorry Jo." He said lifting his head slowly form his arms. "I did talk to them."

"And..." Chris asked from the couch.

"They don't believe Rhee. They called her a slut and said that Jake told them he never slept with her. They said that even if he had they would have nothing to do with Rhiannon or the baby."

Lance put his hand on JC's arm. "Sorry man."

"Men are such pigs!" Chris said in a high pitched voice.

Joey threw a pillow at him, knocking him off the couch.

"I'm not sure what I'm going to do. They gave me temporary custody and that's going to run out in a month. I can't leave her guys. She can't go to live with our grandparents. They would screw her up. I-Uh!" He threw his head onto the table again.

Lance threw Joey a worried look, Joey threw one to Chris.

"Does Rhee know any of this?" Joey asked as he walked towards the table where JC was sitting.

"Yes, I don't keep anything from her. She took it pretty bad too. She doesn't want to leave me. There's no other place she can go." He lifted his head to face Joey. His eyes were red and watering. "I'm all she's got."

"Can't you file for full custody? She just turned 17. She'll have another year-"

"Do you realize how hard it would be to have a 17 year old girl, let alone a baby on tour with us?"

"Yeah, I guess your right, but what other choice do we have?" Joey asked turning to Lance.

"If we could handle her this long I think we can handle her for another year."

"And the baby?" JC asked lifting his head, his voice sarcastic.

"It would be tough, but I mean come on it's one baby. Chris has been around longer than this one will be." Lance joked.

"Hey! I take offense to that!" He shouted. The others just laughed.

"I suppose we could try. If it doesn't work out?" JC said looking to the others for a suggestion.

The bus got quiet. Everyone knew there was only one place she could go and they were all not ready to put her through that.

"I might have a place for her to go. It's had it's share of babies..." Justin said walking into the conversation.

****************

Rhiannon got of the bus slowly, her stomach pushed far out in front of her.

"Whoa! You look almost as big as the bus!" She heard a familiar voice say. She looked up and smiled.

"Hey Lynn." The woman grabbed a hold of Rhiannon and gave her a hug.

"I'm glad you agreed to coming here. It will be nice to have a girl around to talk to." She said warmly.

Justin, Joey, Lance, and finally JC, all made their way off the bus to greet Justin's mother.

"Hey mom."

"I'm hungry."

"Nice one Jo. Hey Lynn."

"Thank you for taking Rhee like this. It's a big help." JC said hugging Lynn.

"It was no problem JC, honey. And don't you worry. I'll take good care of her." She said patting the man's back as she gave him a squeeze.

Rhiannon looked up at the house she was going to be staying at. It had a lot of stairs. She wasn't going to be able to handle those for a while.

She heard a woman laughing behind her. "You don't need to worry about those stairs Rhee. It's not as bad as it looks."

Rhiannon smiled and sighed as the group followed the two women into the house.

"Justin!" Rhiannon turned around to see a small boy jump into Justin's arms. She smiled.

"Hey Jonathan." Justin said as he spun the boy in the air. "Did you miss me?"

"Uh huh." The boy nodded. Justin laughed and looked over to Rhiannon.

"Jon do you remember Rhiannon?" He asked pointing to her.

"Yeah." He said blushing. He buried his head in Justin's shoulder and covered his head with his hands. Justin laughed again and turned to his mother. "Did you put the stuff in her room?"

Lynn nodded.

"What stuff?" Rhiannon asked turned her head to Justin, a smirk on her lips.

"It's a surprise!" Justin said putting his finger to his mouth.

Rhiannon smiled and turned to her brother. "Do you know about this?"

He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. "I have no idea." His voice was sarcastic. She gave him an unbelieving look.

Lynn put her arm around Rhiannon's shoulder. "How about we go to the famous room huh?" She lead Rhiannon down a hallway and up a flight of stairs before she reached a closed door. She let go of Rhiannon and went in front of the door, a big smile on her face. "You ready?"

Rhiannon smiled and nodded, a little unsure of what to think. Lynn opened the door to her new room.

The first thing she saw was a banner. "Welcome home Rhee." Rhiannon turned around to Justin with tears in her eyes. "Did you do this?"

He nodded sheepishly, "Yeah well I-" Before he could finish she was hugging him.

"That's so sweet!" He patted her back unsure of what to do. He had dreamt of this moment for a long time, but now that it was happening, he didn't know what to do. She let him go and turned back to the room. Under the sign was her new bed. There were tons of presents piled on top of it. She turned back to the crowd in the hallway. Little tears were falling down her cheeks.

"Well aren't you going to go in and open them?" JC asked pushing her in with his hands.

She put her head in her hands and walked in. She sat down on the bed as the rest of the group filed in and sat themselves down on the floor and in chairs.

"Go on open one." Joey urged.

Rhiannon picked up the nearest package. "From Lance. Aww, thank you." She said as she began to open it. "It's a...book." She said giving him a strange look.

"Not just any book." He said with a smile. "Dr. Spock." Joey hit him in the head with a pillow.

"Yeah..." Rhiannon said staring at the book.

"Rhee, be polite." JC warned a smile on his face.

"Thank you Lance, really. It was sweet." She said blowing him a kiss.

She continued opening the presents for Joey, Chris, JC and Lynn and her family. She got a stroller, a few toys, a hand made blanket made by Lynn. She also received a few things for herself, like; a necklace with her name on it, Gone With The Wind, a few other books and a basket full of baby things. She set everything down back on the bed and smiled towards Justin.

"Well Justin it looks like I've opened all my presents...I didn't see any from you." She said smiling.

"That's because I haven't given you one yet." He said standing up. She gave her brother an odd look as Justin left the room. He poked his head in after a minute. 'Guys, you know I need your help."

"Oh yeah." Lance said as the others got up and left the room.

"Don't go anywhere." Chris said from the door.

"Like I could." Rhiannon said touching her stomach. He laughed then disappeared into the hallway.

She waited for a minute then heard Right Said Fred come on. Her brow furrowed. A baby appeared in the door. He was wearing an adorable Tommy outfit! The baby started "dancing", but Rhiannon could see Justin's hands. He moved the baby and appeared in the doorway with the baby.

"Rhiannon Chasez!" He made the baby say by moving his bottom lip with his finger. "I am here today to model the clothes for YOUR baby." He roared then moved out of the way as a trail of other babies made there way into the room, held of course by the rest of the clan.

After all the babies were in the room they got in one line and started wiggling. Rhiannon at this point was laughing so hard tears were forming in her eyes. The music stopped and the guys all fell to the floor, making sure they did not hurt the children in their arms.

Rhiannon clapped her hands together enthusiastically. "Yaaaaaay! That was great!" She cheered standing up. The guys made the babies bow. One of them started to cry.

"Oh! I'd better take care of you." Lynn said as she took the one in her arms out of the room. The guys soon followed her, all except Justin.

Rhiannon gave him a big hug, making sure she didn't crush the baby in his arms first. After all, it was his brother...

"That was really sweet." She said with a smile. "All these clothes must have cost you a fortune though!"

Justin smiled. "Naw! It was nothing." He tried to play it cool, but inside he was beaming.

She punched him in the shoulder playfully. "Thanks Curls."

"It was no problem Shorts." He said in a mobster voice, his upper lip curled. Rhiannon laughed.

"It was great though." She added kissing his cheek before leaving the room to look at the other babies.

Justin lifted his brother to his face. "Did you see that? I think she likes me." He looked at his brother's expression for a minute. "Do you think she likes me?" Steven started giggling. "Ah, what do you know. You're just a baby." He said shifting Steven in his arms as he walked out of Rhiannon's room.

****************

Justin ran out of the house to check the mail. He stopped in front of the mail box and opened it. Reaching in he found the usual things; bills, stuff for mom, stuff for me...A letter for Rhiannon? He look for a return address, there was none. He looked at it for a few minutes then walked back inside to give it to her. Maybe she would tell him who it was from.

"Rhee!" He shouted as he closed the door behind him and dropped the mail off in the kitchen.

"Shhhh!" Lynn said from the hallway. "Your brother's are sleeping!"

"Sorry ma. Do you know where Rhee is?"

"In her room. Why? I don't want you bothering her. She needs all the rest she can get, she has so many years of-"

"Thanks mom." He said kissing her cheek as he ran up the stairs to her room.

"Yeah, sure. Any time." She said smiling as she picked the mail up off the table.

"Rhee?" Justin said knocking on her door.

"Come in!" She called as she stuffed a candy bar in her mouth.

He peeked his head in, "You busy?" She shook her head as she chewed on the wad of chocolate in her mouth. She stood up.

"No don't I just wanted to give you this letter. It was in the box." He said handing it to her as she sat back down on the bed.

"Hmm." She said examining the handwriting.

"Who is it from? There was no return address so I just figured you would know..." He stopped talking when he saw the look on her face. She had grown pale. He walked to the bed and sat down. "Are you OK?"

She nodded her head and looked up at him. "Yeah fine." There were tears in her eyes as she looked back down at the tiny envelope.

"Are you sure, cause-?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, could you leave?" She asked interrupting him.

He nodded his head. "All right but if you need me I'll be around the house. Just call me." He kissed her head and left the room.

Rhiannon flipped the envelope over and tore it open. The handwriting was all too familiar to her.

Her hands began to shake as she pulled out the letter. She unfolded it slowly and began to read.

Rhiannon-

I know it's sort of wrong for me to be writing you. I have no right to be but, well what my parents told JC was wrong. I did tell them the truth. They didn't believe me. They told me that you had brainwashed me into thinking I was the father. They told me you were a bad person and that from the start they knew you were trouble. They told me to forget about you, but I can't do that Rhee. I love you. My birthday is in a week. I'm coming down to be with you and I'll stay with you forever. I'm going to marry you. I'm going to be with you, even if it means leaving my parents.

Jake

Rhiannon let out a long sigh and put the letter down on her lap. She closed her eyes. Could she believe him? Could she trust him again? She opened her eyes.

"JC!" She shouted standing up. "JC!" She ran to the door and opened it, letter still in hand. "JC!" She heard footsteps behind her. She whirled around. "Oh, it's you."

"Why are you shouting? Are you OK? Is it the baby?" Joey asked putting his hand on her shoulder.

"I need JC." She said shifting her eyes down the hallway.

"Why what's the matter?" He asked as she pushed him out of the way.

"Well I'm not sure if anything is wrong." She was half way to the stairs. "It could be good." She said stopping and turning to him.

"What? What could be good?" He asked following her down the stairs. She ignored him and called his name again.

"JC! Where are you! I need you!" She said getting a little annoyed. Justin came out of the kitchen, a worried look on his face. He rushed to her side when he saw her expression. "Rhee! Is everything OK? Is it the baby?" He touched her stomach and looked into her eyes.

"It's not the BABY!" She screamed, causing Justin to jump back. She put her hand to her head. "I just need JC." She said softly.

"What is it! I'm right here! Is the baby OK?" He asked, his voice high. He was speaking fast.

"No. I mean yes. The baby is OK. It's not the baby. Would every one stop asking me about the damn baby!" JC put his arm around her shoulder and helped her onto the couch.

"OK, let's forget about the baby, hun. What did you want me for?" He looked her directly in the eye and winked. She looked at him for a minute then smiled. "Come on tell me." He said wiping the tears off her cheeks.

"Jake-Jake is coming to marry me. He's coming whether his parents approve or not. I don't know if I believe him or not but-"

"What about what his parents told me?" JC said, his arm had slid off her shoulder.

"It was a lie. They think I brainwashed him." She added with a laugh. She turned to JC. His head was in his hands. "What are you thinking?" She asked sweetly, putting her hand on his shoulder.

He let out a long sigh and lifted his head. "I don't know Rhee. I don't know what to think. You want the truth?"

You can't handle the truth!

"I don't trust him. He left you Rhee. He got you pregnant!" His eyes were now glaring into hers. "I can't even imagine doing that to anyone." (a note to the reader...ignore Here We Go while reading this story :) )

"But JC, he said he was coming back. He's going to! He's going to marry me." She said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I have another problem with him coming here." JC said slowly moving his eyes from Rhiannon's.

"What is that JC?" Rhiannon asked feeling the anger rise inside her.

"I don't think you love him enough for you two to get married."

"What?" She asked unbelieving. "I thought that's what you wanted!" She stood up. "You said he should take responsibility for what he did and that's what he's doing isn't it?"

He reached out to put his hand on her arm, she jerked it off. "I didn't mean you should get married. That may only be making matters worse."

"Let me get this straight! You think he's an ass hole for not marrying me, then you think he's an ass hole for trying to! What the hell is your problem!" She screamed, she turned and ran up the stairs to her room and slammed the door.

Justin had been watching this in shocked silence. He had thought that he might had have a chance with her, but now that was all gone and he would have to go back to loving her from the shadows. He turned slowly and walked back into the kitchen.

JC sat on the couch, his head once again resting in his hands. Joey had been watching all of this too, he walked over to the couch and sat down next to JC. He let out a sigh and fixed his eyes on the TV.

Lynn walked in silently, holding her mail in her hand. She had heard the shouting and had listened from the hallway. She hadn't thought that Rhiannon's situation was really that bad. She knew one thing, she had never heard about Jake. She was going to say something, but decided to wait and walked out of the room, leaving JC and Joey to wallow in their own sorrow.

****************

Rhiannon's heart was racing as she threw clothes into her suitcase. Tears cascaded down her pale cheeks as she let out a sob. All the pain must have been getting to her stomach because she suddenly felt the need to throw up. Her stomach cramped over and she fell to the floor. She gripped her stomach painfully and realized it couldn't be her stomach, it was the baby.

She moaned, feeling a pain she had never experienced before. She slid across the floor to the door. "JC!" She called, her voice came out in a whisper. She grabbed the door handle and pulled at it. The door swung open. The pain was tearing at her insides. She felt as if something was clawing at her, eating her up, pulling her to shreds. "JC!" She cried again.

She was in the hall now. She heard footsteps coming up the stairs. She let out a sob. The footsteps started bounding up the stairs. "Rhiannon!" It was Chris. He ran to her side. "Oh my god!" He shouted, putting his hand to his head. The blood had seeped into the carpet and was running down her legs. He turned and ran downstairs. She heard shouting from downstairs and then footsteps running upstairs. She put her hand on her stomach and moaned. She lifted her hand to her face, it was shaking, and covered in blood.

Rhiannon passed out.

****************

When she opened her eyes she knew something was different. She lifted her heavy arm and touched her stomach with her hand. Nothing was there! She screamed.

A nurse at her side put her hand on her shoulder telling her to calm down. The woman's voice was soothing, but enough to scare her. She screamed again.

"JC!" Her voice was shrill and hurt her own ears. She called his name again. Another nurse rushed into the room to help restrain her. She felt them holding her arms. She heard more voices as more people came into the room. Her eyes were closed. Some one yanked some one off her arm. She heard JC's voice. She opened them.

As she opened her eyes, her body relaxed. She never let her eyes leave his as she asked, "What happened to my baby?"

His eyes watered over as he grabbed her hand. He knelt down beside her and closed his eyes. "It's fine Rhee." He opened them again and put on his smallest, weakest smile. "It's fine."

Rhiannon let out a sigh and closed her eyes as she spoke. "What is it?"

"A boy." He answered. She knew his voice was flat, but chose to ignore the fact until later.

"Is it OK?"

"It's fine." His flat voice registered in her mind.

"Why am I not believing you?" She opened her eyes. "Where is he?" JC put his head down again. "I thought you said he was OK. Where is he?" She asked, trying to sit up. Justin appeared at her side and pushed her back down. His face was somber. "Justin! Where is my baby?!" She shouted, the fear pushing into her chest.

"He's in intensive care Rhee. He might not live." JC said gripping her hand tighter as he spoke.

Justin knelt beside her and took her other hand. Rhiannon turned her head to him, her eyes wide with shock. "He was too little to breathe on his own, they put him on a respirator. They don't know if he'll..." Justin trailed of and bit his lip.

"Live." Rhiannon finished for him. She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. If she could only collect her thoughts, just for a minute, maybe she would be able to understand...

"There's more Rhee." One of the voices said, she was unsure which one. She opened her eyes again and continued to look up at the pale ceiling. "Jake came back." At the sound of his name Rhiannon bolted her head to the side the voice was coming from. "He's in the cafeteria."

She stared blankly at JC for a few minutes, unsure of what she was going to do. "And he's seen the baby?" She asked softly.

JC nodded. "Yes."

"When did he get here? How long have I been out?" She asked swiftly.

"Yesterday. And 2 days." JC looked down at Rhiannon's tiny hand and said, "I'm sorry I doubted him. I just don't want you to get hurt."

Rhiannon's face melted into one of sympathy and lifted her brother's face with her hand. She smiled at him as a tear rolled down his cheek. "Why do you always have to be so stubborn?" JC let out a laugh and kissed Rhiannon's hand.

The room was quite once again. The awkwardness in the room became to much. Justin stood up. "Should I go get him?"

Rhiannon turned her head to him and nodded. "I should talk to him shouldn't I?"

"Yes, you should." JC said to her as he too stood up. "You two have decisions to make." The fatherly tone had returned to his voice. Rhiannon pouted.

"I thought we were getting beyond that J." The smiled formed on her lips before she could continue with the sarcasm. JC smiled and left the room with Justin.

"At least you're laughing." Justin said jabbing JC lightly in the ribs, the man's mood had changed the moment he stepped out of the hospital room.

"It won't last." He sighed.

Rhiannon stopped staring at the door and turned to the window. Her stomach felt empty without the small child inside it. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. If the baby died she didn't know if she could handle it's death. The baby hadn't been a blessing, but any knew life was a good one. She didn't want hers to die. Rhiannon's thoughts had become so intense she didn't, physically, notice the man who had stepped into the doorway. Mentally of course she knew the man fully and was well aware of his presence and who he was. She continued looking out the window feeling no need in herself to turn her head. What she had to say she could say without seeing the man's face.

"What ever happened to 'I'll never leave you Rhee?'. Whatever happened to us being together? Did you meet some one else and decide they were better for you, or do you just not have the balls to face up to parenthood?" Her voice was cold, but it cracked in the end. She played it off well by coughing, but inside she was kicking herself for letting her guard down.

"Rhee I tried to call you. I tried to come here and get you so many times, but-." He walked closer to the bed as she cut him off.

"Why couldn't you Jake?" His name hit his ears with the icy tone in her voice, it killed him. Shot him down to his knees next to her bed.

"Please Rhee. Please don't be like this. I came didn't I?" He cried, his hands reaching out for her. He was in arms length of her body, yet he could not touch her.

Her head turned sharply to him. "Jake." The ice melted from her voice, and face when she looked into his eyes. "Why did it have to take you so long?"

Jake looked down at his hands. They were folded as if in a prayer. He looked back up into her eyes. "I don't know, but I tried." He said, pleading with her. "I couldn't get away from my parents. The-They didn't tell me when you left. I would have come..." His voice trailed off, but she had heard all that she needed.

"They won't let me see the baby yet. I've heard you saw him." She said not looking him in the eyes anymore.

Jake nodded, but she did not see. "I saw him." His answer was short but said it all. It was in the cracks in his voice, the quietness of his speech. Rhiannon put her head down and let out a laugh.

"That bad, huh."

Jake's hand started to wander in her direction again. Rhiannon's began to move in his direction also. Their hands met and intertwined, each wrapping their fingers around one anther's tightly.

Their eyes never met.

****************

JC slowly walked into the room, he had seen Jake walk in. Not seeing him walk out was a sign...he was unsure if it was a good or bad sign, either way, it was a sign. Their hands were clasped together, Jake's head was resting on them.

Justin walked in behind JC. Seeing them together hurt him deep down inside. It torn him to pieces...HaHa Timberlake. Looks like your song has finally gotten to you. He thought as he stopped next to JC.

"Rhiannon, are you ready to talk to me?"

"JC." Rhiannon said her eyebrow lifted high on her forehead, "The last time you called me by my whole name you had caught me stealing from the cookie jar." The smile on her face allowed JC to let a small one creep up onto his lips. Justin let a laugh creep out of his and relaxed a little.

Jake stood up and faced JC. "Do you want me to leave?" He asked already beginning to head for the door.

JC put his hand out, "You don't have to do that." A small smile was on his face, but inside he was nervous.

Rhiannon forced herself into a better sitting position. "Come on JC, you can come sit by me." Rhiannon's voice was a cheerful one as she patted the chair next to her bed.

Justin stood where he was, unsure of where to go.

JC turned to the younger man. "Maybe you should leave."

The boy started for the door, Rhiannon stopped him. "No! Justin you don't have to leave. Stay." She said motioning for him to step forward. Justin moved forward cautiously.

"Rhee do you really think that is necessary?" JC asked putting his hand on her shoulder.

She shrugged, "Why not? He'll find out sooner or later anyway." She turned to Jake. "Where do we start?"

Jake turned from his position at the window and faced JC. "I'm staying." Was his start. His speech was quick and barely audible.

"Oh." Was all JC could say as he folded his arms against his chest.

"I'll be getting an apartment in Orlando and hopefully I'll be getting a good job soon." He glanced at Rhiannon, who then urged him on. "We're going to get married after the baby is out of the hospital. If you don't approve we'll wait until she's 18. It will be totally legal then." He stopped, more like cut himself off before he began to ramble.

JC turned to Rhiannon. "Are you sure you're going to do this? Is this really what you want?"

"It's what's best for all of us." Was all she said. He had a feeling that was all she was going to say, so he didn't urge her on.

JC sighed and his hand slid off Rhiannon's shoulder. "OK then..." He got up and started to walk out the door. "I'm going to get coffee."

Justin tried to not look Rhiannon in the eye as he said, "Hope everything works out." He gave a short wave then turned quickly to get lost in the hospital, away from everybody.

Rhiannon was gone...taken away...out of his hands...

She was never yours Justin!

****************

The little respirator pumped air into her son's body. The heart monitor beeped in the distance of Rhiannon ears. She saw only what was in front of her eyes.

Her son

Dying

She put her hand into the rubber glove of the plastic box that contained her son. His tiny head was like a fragile egg in her hand.

She saw nothing else in the small room but her son. She did not see the nurse to her left. Not her brother to her right. She did not feel the hand of her boyfriend on her shoulder. She only saw her son.

Dying

She felt that at any moment he would flat line. He would become sick. Should she have just done what her friends told her to do long ago...Would it have been easier to just have...killed him before...

"Your time's up ma'am. You'll have to leave." The nurse said touching her arm lightly as she pulled her arm out of the glove.

Rhiannon looked up and nodded, she could say nothing.

Jake patted the box softly and whispered something inaudible to the others in the room.

JC was last to leave the room, he glanced back at the box and began to say a prayer as he stepped into the nursery of the hospital.

He's dying....Good lord, he's dying.

****************

Justin leaned against the wall in the quiet hallway.

His eyes closed.

For one moment in time he had her.

For a moment in time, she must have cared.

She had hugged him.

She had...

Get over yourself man! She never wanted you!

He sighed and opened his eyes, making sure no one was in the hallway. He had ran into a few fans in the children's ward and couldn't get away from them for an hour.

To his left was a candy machine.

To his right was a gurney with sheets piled on top.

He turned his head forward and stared at the white wall ahead of him.

Maybe if just once he had told her.

Maybe if he had said something years ago and not waiting.

If he had...who knows what would have happened.

Thoughts of how he could have made things work ran through his head.

He thought of when he would have told her, how he would have told her.

****************In his head...A daydream

A breeze would sweep over us as we sat on a blanket on the beach. The ways would be crashing onto the shore. She would turn to me with that light in her eyes and smile. I would reach up and move a strand of hair from her face and whisper, "Rhiannon I-"

****************

"Justin! My God! Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you!" It was Joey. "Your mom was getting upset. Come on, we're going to get some food." He grabbed the younger man's arm and began to drag him back towards the waiting room.

"Jo, will you take it easy?" Justin almost yelled as he yanked Joey's hand off his arm. "I'm coming!" His outburst caused Joey to stop. He could only watch with wonder as the young man stomped off around the corner.

"Justin!" His mother said as she stood up, her hands on her hips. "Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you!" She shook her finger at him as she walked over to give him a hug.

"Don't have a cow mom. I was just in the other hallway." He grumbled. His mother shot him a warning glance, which he ignored, as she picked up her purse.

"Let's go get some dinner boys, I have a feeling we will all feel better if we get out of here for a while."

"What about Rhiannon?" Justin asked shuffling his feet as he walked slowly behind the others.

"She'll eat in her room with JC." Lance said turning around for a minute.

"And Jake?" He asked trying not to sound bitter.

"Of course silly boy!" Chris said not turning around. He waved to a patient in a room who squealed as they walked past.

Justin slumped his shoulder's down further as they walked out of the hospital and into the parking lot.

When they neared the van Justin spoke up. "Mom, just take me home. I don't feel like eating out."

****************

Lying in the darkness of her hospital room she stared at the ceiling blankly.

She wondered in her head if she was doing the right thing, it was the logical thing. But was that always the better choice? Did she really love Jake, or was she just marrying him for the baby? What if the baby didn't live would they just never see each other again? Or maybe they would stay together. Would he really go through will marrying her, or would he leave her? Did he love her, or just the idea of her.

She sighed and turned her head to the window. The night sky was black and covered with a blanket of clouds. They only made her mood stiffen. Seeing the shining orbs in the blackness of the sky would have lifted her heavy spirit, but that wasn't going to happen, not that night at least.

The empty sounds of the hospital sickened her. She just wanted to get out. She didn't want to be here. It was the last place she wanted to be. Maybe if she was on the beach, playing, relaxing. It would be too much! She could play volleyball with Justin against Joey and Lance. They would kick ass! Joey and Lance sucked at volleyball.

****************Past Rhiannon's dreamy eyes and into her thoughts...

"Ahh! We won! We won!" Justin would shout as Joey threw the ball into the sand.

"Best three out of five!" Lance would say, "Come on guys!"

Rhiannon would laugh and start to walk away towards the water. "I think not PooFoo!" She would say with a laugh.

Justin would follow her and she would push him into the cool water. He would grab her ankle and pull her in too. She would scream and laugh as he tickled her telling her to say aunt. (It was never uncle with him, he hated that. It was always aunt, ever since he was 7...) She would finally shout aunt when she could take it no longer.

He would stand up to catch his breath and hold out his hand for her. She would take it and pull him back in as she stood up and ran to the beach. He would get up and chase after her, then they both would collapse onto two towels. She would turn to him smiling, her eyes sparkling with excitement. Then he would lift his hand to brush some hair from her face then say,

"Rhiannon I-"

****************

"Time to wake up Rhiannon!" She heard some one say cheerfully as she opened her eyes.

"What time is it?" She asked squinting as the light hit her eyes painfully.

"10:00. That's not why I woke you up though. I have good news baby. I think you'll like it." The man stopped beside her bed and knelt down taking her hand.

"What?" She asked a smile forming on her lips. Jake looked like he was going to explode. "Jake! Tell me."

"They said that at the rate he's going they will be able to take him off the respirator in 10 days, maybe even 7." Rhiannon squeezed his hand and pulled him toward her for a hug. "As for you." He said standing up. "You'll be able to leave in a week, but no less." He added shaking his finger in her direction. He laughed and started pacing the room excitedly. "I have an apartment, it's about two miles from Justin's house-."

Rhiannon zoned out from Jake's babble at the mention of Justin's name. Yes it would be nice to be able to see Lynn every once and a while, not to mention the advice she could give me...With the three other boys she raised I'm sure she'd be happy to help me. Maybe Justin would like to come over will his little brother. That would be cute. Justin was always cute. He had a way of doing things...saying things that made him adorable to her. She smiled to herself as Jake's voice registered again in her head.

"This is going to be great Rhee." He said kissing hand as he knelt beside her again.

"Yeah, it will be." She said dreamily, looking into his eyes, yet seeing someone else...

****************

He only saw her smiling face as they lifted her into the van.

He only saw how happy she looked with her soon to be husband.

Was there anything else to see? His mind wondered. He only cared about her.

It didn't matter if she didn't care for him-just as long as she was OK. He assured himself as he stopped his mind from going in the direction it was about to go.

"This isn't necessary." She said laughing as JC and Chris tried their best to put the wheelchair into the van. "I can walk you know!"

"It would be too much of a strain." JC said as his face turned red with the weight.

"I think we should just let her step in JC." Chris said as his hand slipped and the wheelchair was set onto the ground. "I know it would be a lot easier on my back." He said rubbing his lower back.

JC huffed and looked from the van to the wheelchair. "Are you sure you can walk?" He asked kneeling down beside her.

"Pretty sure." She said with an anxious smile. She lifted herself slowly from the chair and grimaced in pain. "Maybe not." She said as she collapsed back into the chair.

Justin smiled to himself and walked over to the three of them, pushing JC out of the way before he tried lifting the wheelchair again.

"Allow me." He gently lifted Rhiannon from the wheelchair and set her into the van. "There now, how hard was that?" He asked happily as he buckled her in.

Rhiannon smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "I always knew you had the brains in the family."

"I take offense to that!" Chris said from the door.

Jake nervously pushed past Justin and sat next to Rhiannon, the closeness between the two of them made him edgy. There was something between them that made him jealous. "Now that we're ready, let's get you home." He patted her leg and put his arm around her protectively as he snuck a glare at Justin.

Justin tried his best not to glare back as he crawled into the van and shut the door. He sat down behind Rhiannon and Jake and scowled. Folding his arms across his chest he asked, "So you're all moved in to your new apartment?"

"Well Jake is, I don't know about me." She said laughing. "I've never seen the place."

"You will in a second." Jake said squeezing her closer to his body. "We'll be there in a minute."

Justin sank into his seat as Jake spoke. He always got the last say...he always got Rhiannon.

****************

"If the elevator hadn't been fixed I don't know how we would have made it up all those steps." Jake said, trying to crack a joke. Rhiannon smiled as JC wheeled her towards the door reading 9D.

"We did our best to make it feel like home, but since you are the woman of the house, I guess that's your decision." Joey said smiling as Jake got out his keys.

Yeah, sure, woman. JC though bitterly as he watched his little sister's eyes light up at the word "woman." She's just a baby...

Jake turned back to Rhiannon, his hand on the door, and grinned. "You ready?"

Rhiannon nodded, she was just about ready to burst with excitement.

Justin sucked in a deep breath as Jake turned the silver knob and opened the door.

JC slowly wheeled Rhiannon in to show her, her new home. As she looked around happily, JC couldn't help but feel like he was losing her. Through her happiness he saw the total melt down of her life. She would become a tired house wife pushing her energy to the max. just to make it through the day. She wouldn't be able to hang out with her friend's, or make new ones for that matter. Once the baby came home, the world as she knew it would change. And for what? For one dumb moment in time he didn't even want to think about.

"Do you like it?" Jake asked as he ran to the window to open the curtains more.

Rhiannon nodded her head as JC stopped her in the middle of the small room he came to call the "living room". "It's nice." There was a satisfied smile on her rosy lips as she spoke.

"Yeah?" He asked looking around the room trying to figure out what he wanted to show her.

Justin walked farther into the room his hands on his hips, the expression on his face was a judgmental one. "Is this all there is to it? Or is the mansion hiding behind those garbage cans out back."

"Justin!" Lance said, trying to shut the younger man up.

"What? You don't like it, Justin?" Rhiannon asked with a sly smile.

Justin turned his body towards her, his hands still on his hips. "Not exactly."

Jake folded his arms across his chest. "Why is that curly?"

"Well, Jake, it's not clean. It's small. It's far from the local schools. Look out the window! You picked a place right in the middle of white trash land."

"Do is sense some hostility in this room?" Chris asked quizzically.

"Shut up!" The two men shouted in unison.

"Did you practice that?" Rhiannon asked, getting a thrill out of all the competition.

"Guys, let's not start anything we'll regret tomorrow, OK?" Joey said trying to calm the anger rising in the room.

Justin turned angrily to the wall and hit the air.

"OK?" JC asked, still behind Rhiannon. His hands gripping the handles of the wheelchair to the point where his knuckles were white.

"Yes." Jake said stepping towards Rhiannon. "I'm done. Sorry." He glanced at Justin then turned back to Rhiannon. "Hey let me show you the best part of the apartment." He grabbed the handles from JC and began to wheel her to a closed door.

"Why is he wheeling her to a broom closet?" Lance whispered to Joey.

"That's not the broom closet, that's that door." Joey said pointing to a door to the right of the door Jake was wheeling Rhiannon towards.

"Then what is that door?"

"It's the baby's room, dork." Joey whispered with a smile.

"Oh, so it is the broom closet." Lance said nodding.

Joey laughed and started towards Rhiannon and Jake, soon followed by the others. Except Justin of course, who waited by the window for his turn to leave.

Jake opened the door.

Rhiannon let out a gasp and looked up at Jake.

He laughed and wheeled her in further.

The room was just as Rhiannon had described the way she wanted it. It was a light yellow color. Winnie the Pooh danced along the tops of the walls. He also was sitting on a small rocking chair and on the baby's bed. In the crib and on the dresser. The crib was wooden, which matched the dresser and the rocking chair. A small window say next to the rocking chair giving the tiny room just enough light for the eye to make out the objects.

"It's prefect." Rhiannon finally said, grabbing Jake's hand. She squeezed, "It's perfect."

Perfect until the baby comes home.

****************

"4 days, Rhee. 4 days." Jake said as he set a plate of spaghetti down in front of Rhiannon.

Rhiannon smiled. "Yeah, 4 days of freedom, then...2 o'clock wake ups, dirty diapers, fevers..." She laughed as she picked up her glass of milk.

Jake watched her expression intently as he leaned back in his chair. "When were we going to get married again?"

Rhiannon stopped smiling. She lifted her fork and started to scoop up some noodles. "I told you. JC hates the idea. The paper work would be too much for him so we're going to wait until we're both 18."

"What if I don't want to wait that long." He asked, his expression still unchanged.

"It's only 9 months." She said putting the food in her mouth.

"Familiar number." He said picking up his glass of water.

"This won't be a very good way of starting our life together Jake. Don't start anything." Rhiannon warned never looking up to see his expression.

Jake didn't answer.

The rest of the night was spent in silence.

****************

Justin smiled as he saw Rhiannon walking up to him. He opened his arms for her and hugged her. "You are looking good this morning Shorts." He said letting her go and checking out how well she was looking. The bags were gone from her eyes and the color had returned to her cheeks.

"Thanks Curls." She said kissing his cheek. "The guys inside? She asked looking past his shoulder.

"Yeah." He laughed patting her back as she stepped past him. He looked up and saw Jake standing not far from the porch he was standing on. Justin nodded his head towards him, trying hard to keep the glare from his eyes. "You gonna stand there all morning?" Justin asked with no sign of welcomeness in his voice.

Jake didn't move from where he stood.

"Suit yourself." Justin said shrugging as he walked into the house behind him. He left the door open for the scumbag behind him and continued to walk towards the living room. He heard the welcoming sound of laughter as he neared it.

"Yeah then that would make you Uncle Joshua!" Rhiannon said as she sat down next to Joey on the couch.

JC grimaced and put his head in his hands. "Uhhh! I didn't think I'd be hearing that name in a long time!"

"Get used to it, Uncle!" Lance said with a smile.

JC threw Lance a glare and turned his laughing eyes back to Rhiannon. "Are you ready to go get him, Rhee?" He asked trying to change the subject.

"I have never been more ready to do anything in my whole life." She said with a small smile. She looked up and noticed some one important missing. "Speaking of the baby, where is daddy?"

Justin looked down at the floor and shifted his feet slowly. It always went back to him. "He's outside." His voice was in a low whisper.

"No, actually I'm right here." Jake said walking past Justin.

"That's good. Now that everyone is accounted for can we eat?" Lynn asked standing up from her chair.

"Good idea Lynn." Joey said getting to his feet. "Where are we going?"

"How about we let the parents decide, after all it will be there last time out in a long, long, long time." Chris said from behind Jake and Rhiannon as everyone walked to the door. He put his hands down on their shoulders and clamped down.

Jake moaned.

Rhiannon laughed.

"You always know how to brighten my day." Rhiannon said sarcastically as the mob of people flowed down the porch steps and into 3 waiting vans.

"Thank you. I do my best." He said bowing to her as he opened the van door for her.

Rhiannon rolled her eyes and turned to the crowd that had gathered around her and Jake. "I suppose this is where we say what we want to eat."

"That would help us out a little..." Lance said scratching his head.

"Well then..." Jake said turning to Rhiannon. She shrugged. "How about we just go to The Olive Garden."

"Good idea." JC said turning to go to the other vans.

"I don't want to go there, we had spaghetti last night." Rhiannon said, stopping JC from going any further.

"Well then where would you like to go?" He asked, the smile still on his face.

"I don't know. You decide."

"How about The Dragon Inn?" He offered, lifting his eyebrows to show his enthusiasm.

"You know I hate Chinese." She said biting her lip, to show she was thinking hard.

Jake exhaled loudly and chuckled a bit towards the waiting crowd the turned his back to them.

"Pizza? Hamburgers? IHOP? Steak?" He said, getting louder with each word.

Justin felt his temper rise with each passing moment. If you don't stop soon buddy, I'll make you!

"Actually now that you mention it I do feel like having Italian. Let's go to the Olive Garden." She turned got into the van and buckled herself in.

"What?" He shouted.

The group began to creep away from the couple. All but, JC and Justin.

Rhiannon turned her head in his direction, a sweet smile still on her face. "Don't yell at me. We know where we're going now. There is no need for it."

"But you!-" JC hit Jake in the shoulder.

"Don't yell at my sister."

"JC! I have a right to, people tend to yell when they're having an argument.

"We're not having an argument." Rhiannon stated, fixing her skirt.

"Don't yell at him." Justin said pushing JC out of the way.

"Why not Justin!" Jake said pushing him.

"Don't push me!" Justin shouted pushing Jake back into the van.

"Why do you have a problem with me?" Jake said clenching his fists.

"Because, you're an ass hole!" Justin shouted going in for a punch.

Jake ducked and Justin missed the punch. Jake grabbed Justin's stomach and pushed him down to the ground. "You just hate me because I moved in on your territory!" Jake said through his teeth as he struggled to hold Justin down.

"I don't know what your talking about!" Justin managed to say as he rolled Jake over.

Rhiannon propped her feet up on the seat in front of her and watched the two "grown men" battle it out. The whole thing rather amused her and for some reason she felt the urge to eat pop corn.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Jake yelled as he kneed Justin in the stomach, causing him to fall backwards off of him.

"Your just being jealous!" Justin said as he got up and kicked Jake while he was still on the ground.

Jake grabbed his side. "I'm not the one being jealous!" Jake shouted as he got up, his hand still on his side.

"I'm not jealous." Justin said standing his ground.

"Now can we do something?" Lance asked JC who was watching the fight intently.

JC shook his head, his hand resting under his chin. "No, I think they're almost done."

Jake started laughing. "You? Not jealous!? HA!"

Justin glared at him and asked, "What makes me jealous of you?"

Jake bit his lip and put his head down for a minute. "You don't seem to understand do you?" He looked up and directed his eyes so they we glaring right into Justin's. "She's not yours."

Justin dropped his arms to his side, his eyes widened.

Rhiannon's feet dropped to the floor of the van. She shifted her entire body so her legs were dangling out of the van door.

JC didn't move, he continued to watch the pair with interested eyes.

Lynn didn't know what to do. She stood where she was, hoping Justin didn't do anything stupid.

The others could only stand in shock. They all hadn't been expecting that.

Justin felt his body tense up, he couldn't sat anything. He certainly couldn't run. He was trapped. His body did the only thing he felt he could do, attack.

Rhiannon watched for about 1 minute before breaking them up. She jumped out of the van and grabbed both of their shoulders. "Stop it! Good God!" She yelled separating them. The blood had started to flow and by this time both were bleeding. "What the hell is the matter with you?" She paused and looked down at the ground. "I may not know what you're talking about, but I still think you should shut up. I don't know about you two but I am hungry." She motioned for the others to get in the vans. "If you choose to come I suggest you clean up and hurry up, because we're leaving." She turned and got back into the van and buckled herself in, yet again.

Lynn walked over to Justin and gave him some Kleenex, which he dabbed his nose with.

Jake started to walk back to the house, his head throbbing which could only be from the blow he had received from Justin. No one followed him in.

JC was in the van next to Rhiannon, her head resting on his shoulder.

The vans started and left.

Jake was still in the house.

****************

"Do you think he'll be there?" She asked as she stared out the window. JC's arm moved around her shoulder's.

"If he is the person we know he'll be there."

"That's not a yes or no answer." She said trying to amuse herself.

"That's because I really don't know Rhee." He answered truthfully. He moved some of her strawberry blond hair off of her face.

She saw the hospital getting closer, his car nowhere in site...yet. He would be there, he had to be there. There was no reason why he wouldn't be there. She closed her eyes.

Or was there?

The doors to the van opened without a sound. Rhiannon stepped out. Everything seemed to be slowed down. Like some one had put the world on slow motion. The only thing she could hear was her heart beat. The only thing she could see was the hospital.

JC muffled voice asked if she was doing all right. She nodded her head. It was like everything was underwater. She couldn't breath.

This was it.

This was the end of her life as it had been.

It started to deteriorate 9 months ago. It was ending now, whether she liked it or not, it was ending now.

Maybe Jake would be there.

Maybe he wouldn't.

Either way she was a mother and had to give up everything right now for the baby.

No more parties.

No more anything.

Just diapers.

No sleep.

Feeding, cooking, cleaning.

The list went on and on and she could do nothing about it.

She was so alone now, with or with out Jake.

She was alone.

The doors of the hospital swung open and in came the smell. Disinfectant.

She grimaced at the smell. She hated it, always had. It reminded her of her parents death.

They walked down the hall towards the maternity ward. The only sound in her ears, their footsteps.

She saw him before she saw anything else, he was waiting in a chair. His head resting in his hands. His fingers running through his short brown hair. He looked up before she could say his name and was in his arms before he could say hers.

Justin stood in the back, this time he was out of it. He would never interfere again. She didn't care about him and never would.

Jake let go of Rhiannon and brushed the hair out of her face. They both needed no words exchanged over what had happened, they had become to old for that. At least for the time being, and they both knew it. "Are you ready?" He asked slipping his arm around her waist.

"Yes." She said still stunned that he had come.

They walked into the nursery to get the baby the others staying behind. This was as far as they were allowed to go. Only the parents could go beyond that point.

Through the swinging doors they went.

Their bodies close together.

Their hearts beating at the same rate.

They saw his crib before the nurse took him out. They had both memorized his features perfectly.

The nurse walked to Rhiannon, placing the tiny body into her arms. Jake put his hand on her shoulder.

This was the first time she had held him. This was the first time she had seen him outside of the plastic box that had been his home for the last month.

Jake ran his fingers over the boys head and started to turn Rhiannon's body to the door. The papers were filled out. There was nothing left to do, except leave.

And name him!

"Jake we don't have a name for him!" She said looking up at him. "What about the birth certificate! He has to have a name!"

Jake smiled and kissed her forehead. "We can wait to name him. I haven't really thought about it myself. It's OK. We'll fill out the certificate later."

Rhiannon relaxed and started walking again. The nurses gave Jake a package of things diapers and pamphlets. He put it under his arm and thanked them. Rhiannon was too into the little person in her arms to say good bye to them so Jake did it for her. They smiled and waved as they stepped out of the doors into the waiting room.

Everyone stood up and ran to the mother and baby.

"So Uncle Joshua, what do you think? Do we have a winner?"

JC smiled and touched the babies head lightly then put his hand back as if it's head was scalding hot. He laughed aloud. "I think so." He looked up at Rhiannon. "But a name would help."

"Tell that to him!" Rhiannon said jerking her head towards Jake who shrugged.

Justin stood in the back once again. Rhiannon didn't seem to notice. She was too wrapped up in her own world. In his mind he would dream again. He would become like he was before. He would stand in the shadows and watch her. He would think about her every waking second and when he was not awake he would dream of her. She would always be at his side no matter what Jake said. But in the real world she would ignore him. She would never notice when he walked into the room. She wouldn't worry about how he was doing. Maybe she would stop by on his birthday, but never for anything else. But why should she worry about him?

Just like Jake had said before.

She's not yours

****************

The apartment seemed to full with the baby in it. Rhiannon buzzed happily in the kitchen making dinner. Jake sat in the middle of the baby's room trying to figure out how to put the diaper on with out it falling off...Maybe life wasn't going to be that hard after all.

The phone rang.

"Hello?" Rhiannon said picking it up.

"Hey Rhee. It's me. I just wanted to know how you were doing. Do you need anything?" It was JC.

"No bro." She said laughing to herself. "We're doing fine. We have everything. Stop checking in on us every five seconds will ya?"

"I can't help it Rhee. You're my baby sis."

"Not baby sis, JC. Sis I'll except, just not baby." She said as she tossed the salad.

"Fine, sis. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"And I said fine didn't I?" She said smiling. "Are you sure there wasn't anything else you wanted?"

JC paused and sat in awe of his sister's ability to do that. He smiled and breathed out loudly handing the phone to Justin. "Hello?"

Rhiannon dropped the salad fork on the floor and bent down quickly to pick it up. "Justin! I wasn't expecting you to be calling me." She said trying to sound surprised. Deep down inside her she felt joy that he had called her. Hearing his voice made her day.

"I just wanted to apologize for my behavior the other day. I was stupid, and really tired. I wasn't thinking."

"Justin, that's all right. I figured you both just had a lot of steam to get off. You had to cancel your big tour and all on a count of me. He his a new father so...I mean, there's no need for you to be apologizing." She said starting to get the plates out of the cupboard.

She's not yours!

Justin wasn't sure what to say now. He knew perfectly well that she had heard Jake shout...what he had shouted. Had she realized the meaning? "OK, so you aren't mad at me?" He asked scratching his head.

"No, your one of my best friend's Curls. You were there for me when my parents died. You've always been there for me, I couldn't get mad at you for that!" She said setting the plates down at the table.

Justin smiled a little at the recognition he was receiving from her. "OK, then I'll give the phone back to JC." He paused to hear her breathing, "Bye."

"Bye."

Justin handed the phone back to JC then left the room. "Hey Rhee. I have to go, dinner is ready."

"Yeah me too." She said proudly.

"Oh really?" He asked sounding shocked. "My sister cooked! Jake doesn't get enough praise for what he goes through-"

"JC." She said in a stern voice. "I'd shut up."

"Really? What you gonna do about it?" He asked, trying to do a mobster voice.

"Good bye JC." She said smiling as she walked to the phone.

"That's what I thought." She heard him say as she hung up the phone.

She walked towards the baby's room and knocked on the door. "Jake it's time for dinner."

"Shh!" He said walking to the door. "He's sleeping." He grabbed her arm and started pulling her to the crib. "You have to see it, it's adorable!" He stopped her right above the baby's body. "Look." He said pointing to his sleeping son. "Look at his face, he's smiling."

Rhiannon looked into Jake's face. She watched him watch their son. The way his eyes looked to happy, so intent. The way his smiled curved up as he noticed how beautiful his son really was. She leaned over and kissed his cheek softly and whispered. "Dinner's getting cold."

Jake looked up from the baby and smiled. He took her hand in his and they walked into the living room/dining "area".

Yeah, maybe this wouldn't be as bad as I thought.

****************

I don't know why I am letting this get to me so much. She isn't really any of my business. I'm her good friend...Nothing more, and I never will be. I had my chance a while ago and took too long to tell her, then I just blew it by NOT telling her.

I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to eat. I don't want to sleep. I just want to be free of her. Yet I feel as though I can't live without her.

If only the world would stop spinning, then maybe I could rest. Maybe if the stars weren't so bright, maybe I could sleep easy. Maybe if she loved me I could be free...

****************

Rhiannon let herself stay awake, she had tried closing her eyes but the wouldn't stay shut. She wanted to name the baby. She wanted a nice clean name, but a name that she knew. She wanted it to be special.

She began to let her thought wander, maybe then a name would pop into her head.

She started thinking about her experience of touring with her brother's band. She had known Justin forever and they were good friends. The jokes they had played on Chris and Lance were just the greatest. She started to remember the time they had taken the half dead Chris and put him in bed with Lance. She had been so surprised that they had been able to do that. Then, when they had put the make up on Lance...and somehow succeeded without waking him up. Their expressions had been perfect when they woke up from the flash of the camera and the shouts from Justin. They had chased Justin and her around the room for at least 15 minutes, Lance of course had still had the make up on. Rhiannon smiled. It was too easy for her to think back. She let her eyes close and remembered more. Her thoughts were carrying her away. Just as sleep was going to capture her eyes shot open.

That's it!

She bolted up in bed and punched Jake's shoulder.

AH HA! That's it! She screamed in her mind.

Jake grouchily sat up. "What?" There was a whine in his voice.

She turned to him, her eyes lighting up brightening her surroundings. "I have it!"

"Have what, Rhee? It's 2 in the morning."

"The name! The name!"

"Name for what?" He asked putting his head back down on the pillow.

"For the baby dork! Randall, we can call him Randy." She said excitedly.

"Yeah, sure Randall/Randy. That's good, now could we please go to sleep again?" He asked rolling over.

Rhiannon nodded her head and laid back down. She turned her back away from Jake, a smile on her face.

Randy, it's perfect! She sighed giddily in her head as she closed her eyes and surrendered, helplessly, to the sleep that had been calling her for hours.

****************

Rhiannon woke with a start to the sound of Randy crying. She turned over and saw Jake, awake, but his eyes were halfway closed. "Why didn't you go get him."

"I was waiting for you to wake up." He answered rolling over.

"What?" She shouted. "How long have you been up? He's crying Jake! He's helpless, he can't just get up and walk to get his food or change his own diaper."

"I did it last time." He said, his voice muffled by his pillow.

Rhiannon got out of bed with a huff and hit Jake hard in the head with her pillow. She turned swiftly and ran to the baby's room. He was wailing now, his face red with frustration.

"Oh, honey." She said lifting him up, cradling his head with her hand. "I'm sorry baby." He seemed to be calming as she walked to the rocker and began rocking him, but he was still fidgeting and whining. She opened her pajama top for him to eat, but he didn't seem to want to. She then went to the changing table to check his diaper, but he wasn't wet. "I wish you could tell me what you want." She said lifting him up again. She felt his head against her cheek, he was cool. There was nothing wrong that she could tell. So she started to walk around the room with him in her arms.

The minutes ticked by and he was still whining, after a while he began to cry again. She started to hum to him, but it did no good. She started to cry with frustration with the situation. After 30 more minutes Jake came to the door of the nursery.

"Why is he still crying?"

"Don't ask me!" She shouted. "If I knew I would try to make him stop!" Randy started crying louder now. She shot a look at Jake and started pacing again. "I tried doing everything! He just won't stop."

Jake stared at them for a few minutes the started to walk away. "Well if you have it under control then I'll just go back to-"

"Jacob Allen Donavan!" She yelled after him. "Do you expect me to just sit up all night without your help? I have been trying to calm him for 2 hours!"

Jake shrugged, his brow furrowed. Rhiannon blew a strand of hair out of her face and stomped over to him. She shoved Randy in his arms and started for bed. "If you think you can get out of it that easy you're wrong! I am going to bed. It's your turn!" She slammed their bedroom door and crawled back into bed wiping the tears from her eyes.

She once again closed her eyes and let sleep cover her with his blanket.

****************

"They'll be here any minute!" Rhiannon shouted as she picked up the baby's room.

"You think I don't know this!" Jake shouted back, the baby in his arms. He ran out of the living room that he had just cleaned. "We have a stink bomb on the way!"

"Are you sure?" She asked walking out of the baby's room just in time to run into Jake.

"Pretty sure. He was making the face." Jake said patting the boy's tiny bottom.

Rhiannon made a face as there was a knock on the door. "You check the diaper, I'll get the door."

"Sure, make me change the diaper. I always change the diaper. Why can't you ever change the diaper..." Jake rambled as he walked slowly to the baby's room.

Rhiannon rolled her eyes as she ran to the door, away from Jake. "Hold on JC I'm almost there!" She shouted as she started to unlock the dead bolt. She opened the door and was greeted by a bag of diapers. "What?" She asked taking it into her hands.

"I heard you were running out." She heard Lance's voice say. She gave him a big hug, as the others, as they all walked into the house.

"How's it going?" JC asked in whisper as his lips brushed her cheek.

"OK." She lied with a smile.

Joey ran his finger across the counter top. "Hmm." He said examining his finger closely. "It looks clean."

Rhiannon hit him with a laugh as Chris put his hand on her shoulder.

"So where is this baby? Or did you lose it already?"

"You need a name for it!" Lance said with a smile.

"That's why I brought you over here." Rhiannon said with a shy smile. "Just follow the smell." She said motioning for them to follow her as she walked to where Jake and Randy were hiding.

Justin stayed in the back, he knew just being there was an invasion and didn't want to cause any more trouble for some one who was doing fine with out him.

"Jake." She said stopping in the doorway. "We have some people who want to meet our boy."

Jake smiled and finished buttoning Randy's jumper. He lifted the boy in his arms and stood up from the floor, dirty diaper in his hands.

JC stepped in front of Jake and touched the small head. "What's this about a name?"

Rhiannon giggled a little and made eye contact with Justin. "I wanted a special name and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't think of one." She put her arm through Justin's then rested her hand on it. "Until I thought of my best friend."

Justin's heart skipped a beat as he heard the words leave her mouth. He felt his throat close and his eyes begin to water. Why does she have to do this to me. Please stop before you break my heart even more than you already have.

"Well..."JC coaxed. "What's the name?" He felt as though her was going to explode.

Rhiannon began to beam, she looked up again into Justin's eyes. "I named him after you Curls. I named him Randall."

A smile shook onto Justin's face. "Yeah?" He asked.

"Yeah."

Jake glared at the two. His jealousy filling him up. He hadn't known the name was because of Justin. He wouldn't have agreed if...

"That's so nice Shorts." He said wrapping his arms around her.

She closed her eyes and breathed in his cologne, feeling his warmth surround her as he tightened his grip around her shoulders. Feeling herself never want to leave his arms she almost lost her head. She pulled away from him as she spoke. "I knew it would be special, the name came from some one special."

"This is getting to corny. Quick Chris crack a joke!" Joey cried putting his hands over his ears.

Chris didn't make a sound so all head turned in his direction. At that moment he blew his nose and wiped his eye. "It's so beautiful!"

Rhiannon ran to the older, weirder, man and tackled him to the floor. She started laughing, as did he, and shouted between her giggles. "That was supposed to be a wonderful moment and look at you! You ruined it!" She pulled one of his braids then got up and brushed off her shirt, a huge smile on her face.

Joey helped Chris off the floor. Chris's face was red. "When will you learn? Old men aren't made for that kind of treatment."

JC took Randy from Jake's arms. "So you finally decided on a name for this bugger."

Jake laughed uncomfortably. "Yeah, I thought he'd be nameless for the rest of his life."

Rhiannon put her arm through Jake's. "And is that what you wanted, because I don't remember you ever making suggestions." Jake pulled his arm away.

"You didn't really ever give me a chance. Let's name it Randall!" He said waving his arms in the air. "You never asked me what I wanted to name my son. What do you think I'm going to do anyway? It was 4 o'clock in the morning and I had just spent the night trying to calm the boy down. I even had to wake up at 6 to go to work! Why didn't you just change the name on the birth certificate to Randall Timberlake!" He yelled into her face.

Randy started crying feeling the presence of his father leaving the room as Jake ran out of the apartment and into his car. Rhiannon only heard the screech of the wheels as he drove out of the parking lot.

Rhiannon looked, shocked, into JC's eyes. "What the hell am I missing with him? What is he talking about?"

Lance looked away towards the window and began whistling.

Joey and Chris started for the bathroom. "I have to...um, pee."

"Yeah me too." The door to the bathroom slammed shut.

Justin shot a worried, frantic look at JC. He was his only hope.

"Uh, maybe he is just going through a hard time." JC suggested handing the baby to Justin.

"You said that last time. I really have no idea what he's talking about. He is constantly ranting about Justin." She turned her back to the two men, still rambling. "He keeps shouting that I don't belong to him. That he has to stay away from me. But why I mean he's my friend, there's nothing between us...there never...was..." She slowly turned back to Justin who was holding her son uncomfortably waiting for the worst possible thing to happen. Her eyes widened. "Unless there was a reason for him to be jealous. Justin...Oh, my god." She said with tears forming in her eyes as she walked to him.

"What?" He asked with an uneasy smile and a shift of his feet. "What are you getting at?"

Rhiannon put her hand up onto Justin's head and ruffled his hair with a warm smile. "I don't know Curls. I'm just rambling." She took Randy from his arms and started walking to the kitchen. She kissed Randy on the cheek and began thinking...

****************

And he looks at me in wonder

And he looks at me in fear

Wrestling with his anger

His pride and stony tears

To place me in his life

Will be hard and slow

Does he want it need it

I might never know

The boy feels strange

Oh the boy has changed

Looking from my tower

I can see his fortress strong

Surrounded by his army

Where do I belong

Does he ever find the answers

In the cars as they go by

Does he ever want to ask me why

The boy feels strange

Oh the boy has changed

-Melissa Etherage-The Boy Feels Strange

****************

Why doesn't he leave? Why don't they all just leave? I can't have them here. I can't have him here. What does it all mean? How long has he known the truth? Why didn't I ever see it before? Why didn't he ever tell me? This is going to change everything! I can't look at him anymore. It's too weird. Does he realize I know? Does he want me to know? Why didn't he just tell me? What do I do now? Can I act like I don't know? Do I tell him I know.

As she sat in the rocking chair, holding Randy in her arms one question stood out amongst the others.

A question she dreaded to answer.

A question she didn't want to answer.

She was scared.

Do I love him back?

****************

Justin sat on the couch, his finger lightly tracing his lips as he thought of Rhiannon.

Why does she not talk to me? Does she know? Were Jake and JC that obvious to her? Had she finally caught him staring? Had she noticed the way he talked to her? Did she know? If she did know, was she going to say anything? Was she going to do anything? Is this the reason she has been avoiding me? Does her avoiding me mean anything?

He continued to stare out the window deep in thought as the same question repeated in his mind.

The same question that he had been asking himself for over a year. The same question that made him stay awake in bed all night.

The same question he would never ask her.

Could she love me?

****************

Rhiannon placed Randy down in his crib as she thought. It isn't fair that he just left us, is it sweetie? Daddy left us...Do you think he's coming back? The question, she knew, was more directed to her than the baby. If he does what should we do? She sighed and started to back away from the crib. I don't know. She closed the door softly behind her and banged her head against the door frame. He left damn it! She felt someone bump into her, she turned and gasped.

"I'm sorry Rhee. I didn't see you." Justin said avoiding her eyes as he stopped in front of her.

"It's OK." She said trying to find something other than him to look at.

A silence had crammed into the air surrounding them. It was filling fast with the voices in their heads. Whispers telling them to speak the words fighting to leave their mouths.

Justin put started rubbing the back of his neck with his hand as he fought to stay silent. The words were climbing up his throat and at any moment he was going to let them out.

Rhiannon bit her lip and fixed her eyes on the floor below her as she struggled not to tell him...things...words, she had to say.

"Well I'm going to go to bed." She said suddenly releasing them both from their bonds.

Justin nodded with a "smile". "Good night." He said as they hurried past each other and on to the rooms they slept in.

Rhiannon closed the door to her room and, sinking to the floor, rested her back against the frame. She closed her eyes thankful she had not told him she knew, and that...well she didn't know what else she would have said.

She let out a sigh and dropped her head between her knees.

Justin sat down beside Lance on the couch. Lance glanced at but turned away once he saw the look on his friend's face for he knew he couldn't change it.

JC looked up from his book with a heavy heart. He knew exactly what was going on and knew what was holding everything back.

Jake.

Joey and Chris were both asleep, but both tossed in their, sensing the young man's troubled emotions.

The only one who could stop the pain was gone, too scared to show his face.

****************

When she answered the door she had been prepared for anything, until she saw Jake.

He was down on one knee, flowers in one hand, chocolates in the other.

"We can't go on like this Rhee." He started. "I've waited long enough, I can't wait any longer. Marry me this week, or never."

"Is this your idea of an apology?" She asked, crossing her arms.

He dropped the flowers to his side. "It's the truth."

"Get out of the hallway, you're making a seen." She said turning into the apartment.

"Yeah I love you too." He said following her in.

"Why didn't you call?" She asked as JC walked into the room.

"It was stupid not to call, I know. But I was mad Rhee."

"And you had no reason to be mad." She said turning to him.

"Well I thought I did." He said trying, and failing, to justify his actions.

"Well, you didn't, and you still don't."

"I didn't say I was still mad." He said under his breath. "Look, I came back here to do what I know is right. I want to make it work, I really do, but I can't do that with out your help."

Rhiannon let out a sigh. "I know you do." She walked towards him and took the flowers. "And I can forgive you." Jake's eyes began to light up. "There's just one thing I need to do." She said looking him in the eye.

Jake nodded eagerly. "What?"

Rhiannon lifted her hand, which was balled into a fist and swiftly punched him in the eye. He flew back onto the floor, hitting his head on the couch on his way dow. "Now we're even." She said as she turned and walked to Randy's room.

Jake looked over to JC, his eyes wide with shock. JC offered no help except an ice pack before following his sister's footsteps and leaving the room.

****************

What is he doing here? Justin thought as he entered the living room. Jake was on the floor with Randy in front of him.

Jake looked up as he saw the figure through the corner of his eyes. His head moved back to the baby when he saw who it was. He grinned and lifted Randy over his head. Randy giggled and squealed at this action.

He's showing off! Justin thought disgusted. He shook his head and went into the kitchen. He grabbed a can of Coke and took it from the refrigerator. As he passed he saw Jake smiling defiantly at him. Justin glared and left the room towards were Rhiannon and the others were sitting.

"Here's your Coke Rhee." He said sitting next to her.

"Thanks." She said taking the cool drink from his hands.

"Rhee, he left you." JC said still in shock at his sister's decision.

"He came back. Besides he's Randy's father. I want Randy to have a daddy, a male figure he can look up to."

I'm tall enough. Justin thought smugly as he scowled next to her.

"But who's to say he won't do it again?" Joey asked putting his hand on her shoulder. "He might get scared again and leave, maybe next time he won't come back." He suggested.

"I don't think he'll do it again. I told you I'm marrying him on Saturday and I'm not changing my mind." She stood up. "Thank you all for staying with me, but Jake is home now and you can leave."

"Rhee..." JC said standing up.

"JC..." She said, mocking her brother.

He rolled his eyes. "Fine, but I'm not saying I agree with you."

"That's OK." She said kissing his cheek. "Your bags are at the door."

"We now, we now." Chris said as he received as kiss on the cheek from her also.

Everyone filed out of the room, getting kisses and hugs. Justin was the last one to get to the door. Rhiannon lifted herself on her tip toes and brushed her lips against his smooth cheek. Her mouth lingered near his cheek for a moment as she breathed him in.

Justin breathed in her hair, his eyes closed. His mouth was inches away from hers, if he wanted to he could just lean down and-.

"Good bye Curls." She said softly into his ear.

Justin flinched at the words and Rhiannon saw this. She slowly got to her feet and walked towards the living room. Justin stood in the door for a moment, then walked down the hallway, kissed Randy good bye, and left the apartment. He would never return. He promised himself.

He would never return.

****************

He's snoring again. I have never realized until now how annoying that is. Rhiannon thought as she opened her eyes to the darkened bedroom. She rolled onto her side and looked at the man she was going to marry in two days. Two days Rhee and this...this is what you are going to wake up to every morning. Mrs. Jacob Donavan. But...he's not that bad. She told herself. He can be the sweetest man alive when he tries. She had always like his eyes the thickness of his neck. His large, masculine fingers. (Bry!!!) And his dark blond hair had always been her favorite feature on him. He had dyed speckles into it, he called them, "leopard spots". Rhiannon smiled. Then there was his smile. It was nice...Rhiannon's brow furrowed. She couldn't think of the last time he had smiled nice. For the longest time he had been smiling...an odd smile. A smile that wasn't real. It wasn't his smile. She searched her memory for other qualities, her heart beginning to beat faster. His sense of humor is nice, and...and!

Oh my god! There isn't anything else! Not anymore at least. There hasn't been for a long time. He doesn't talk to me like he used to, we have nothing in common. Oh my god! I am about to marry a man I...I...I don't think...

I love.

****************

Justin's eyes were heavy but he couldn't get to sleep. He had been stupid. So stupid. If any of the guys found out what he had just done...and was still doing, he would get his ass kicked. Well, they might wait for him to get sobered up, but in his condition Justin didn't really know. His head was on the desk in his room. The whiskey bottle he had stolen from his mother, almost empty in his left hand as the other one was used to hold his throbbing head and wipe away at the hot tears rolling down his cheeks.

He had thought that if he had a few drinks he could go to sleep, forget about Rhiannon for a while. The alcohol seemed to have the opposite affect. It not only made him remember her, it made him remember every detail about her. It seemed to make his senses to her more acute. He wanted to hear her voice, so he made her speak in his head. Her voice crashed into his ears, exploding once hitting his brain. Justin moaned with the pain aching between his eyes. He sat up slowly and threw the bottle into the trash can, but missing and having it hit the wall.

The bottle smashed on the impact, the alcohol running in tiny rivers down the wall to the blue carpet.

He got out of the chair and walked to the bathroom where he sat down on the floor next to the toilet. He was going to throw up. He wanted her to love him so bad. But it was never going to happen. She was going to marry Jake and she was never going to be with him. Jake always got Rhiannon. She never saw him for who he truly was, an ass. Justin knew he was losing the only person he would ever love, yet he wasn't really losing her. He had never really had her, just the idea of her. And even that was ridiculous now. She had a baby. She had a fiancee (which wasn't him) and she had a life, her own life. And he wasn't in it.

Justin felt his throat close, his head for the first time that night, met the porcelain palace...

Oh god! I shouldn't have drunken that much. He thought as he lifted his head and let out a sigh. I didn't know love could be like this. I thought it was supposed to be a happy wonderful thing, not a horribly depressing, makes-you-want-to-kill-yourself type of thing...Oh well.

Justin gagged again and his head went for the toilet, once more.

Here we go...again!

****************

Rhiannon grabbed Randy from the crib and started pacing the room back and forth.

Jake had just gotten home. He wasn't "in the mood" to deal with her or the baby right this minute.

Can't I just take one break! Was what he had said. Rhiannon rolled her eyes.

You! You take a break! I have been slaving my ass off all day, the second you come home you think I haven't done jack shit and you go sit on the couch. Well if this is what it is going to be like...

Randy let out a cry, he was hungry again. And god! Why do I have to be the one with the boobs.

Rhiannon fed Randy and walked him out to the living room where Jake was sitting watching TV. She placed Randy on the couch and covered him with a blanket. After kissing the top of his head she turned to Jake.

"I have been home all day, feeding and taking care of our baby. I am going to go out, and you are going to watch him." She started for the closet and grabbed her jacket.

"What? For how long?" He said standing up. "What if I want to go out?"

She grabbed her purse and stopped at the door. "It won't matter, cause I'll be out. I need time to be by myself. If I'm going to be married to you for the next 50 years, at least give me one night to relax! It's not like I'll miss the wedding or anything. I'll be back later." She said while quoting wedding with her hands. "So shut up and sit down. Dinner's whatever you make." She opened the door before he could say anything and walked out, slamming the door.

She had gotten about half a block down the street before realizing she had no idea where she was going. She stopped and looked up at the street sign. If she went left she would end up by the beach, she could be alone there...But if she went right she could see Justin, maybe for one of the last times. If she didn't right their relationship, he may never talk to her again. She decided to go right.

Her feet carried her the entire 4 miles to his house. She didn't even need to look up to see his house, or the streets she was turning on. She just knew when she had gotten there. She lifted her hand and rang the doorbell.

The door opened. "What are you doing here?" A familiar voice asked. "Did you walk? That must be 4 miles!" An arm went around her shoulders and lead her into the house. "Come in, it's so late. Is everything OK? JUSTIN! RHIANNON IS HERE!" Rhiannon was lead to the couch and the arm seated her into it. She seemed as though she were in a daze. Her thoughts had carried her so far away, it was all she could do, but wander through her brain.

A hand touched her shoulder as some one sat next to her on the couch. "Mom, you can leave now. We'll be OK."

Rhiannon looked up to see his face. It made her feel warm inside when she saw the concerned look on his face, it made her feel needed. She put her arms around him and started to cry. What was she doing? What horrible mistake was she making? Was this how she wanted the rest of her life to be?

No! She cried in her mind. Not like this! I want to be able to feel these arms around me everyday! I want to have the security I feel when he is with me, all the time. I don't know if Jake can give me that. But, it's too late to turn back now.

Justin pulled her up so he could see her face and wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs as her head rested in his hands. "Rhee, why are you crying?" He asked, not sure if it had to do with him...or Jake...or the baby.

Rhiannon sniffled and began to speak as Justin set his hands down on top of hers. "I don't know what I'm doing Justin." She never uses that name when she talks to me! "I was lying in bed last night and I realized I don't know what I'm doing. Am I throwing my life away? Am I making the right decisions? Do I really need to..."

Live with a bastard you don't love? Justin thought coldly.

"I don't know what I'm even saying. I'm just so confused, about my life and, and just about everything." She looked up at him. "Do you know what I mean?"

"A little." He said. "What are you trying to say?"

"I don't know." She said frustrated. "I'm marrying Jake on Saturday-."

There it is. He thought with a sigh. I knew it was coming. She didn't come for me, god Timberlake...get a grip.

"And I don't know if I'm making a good choice in doing so."

Justin's ears perked up. Could he be hearing her right? Could she be saying what he thought she was saying.

"I try to think of a logical reason to marry him and the only one I can think of is because of Randy, but where does that leave me? No where, with no one, right?" She asked, he nodded, not knowing what else to do. "What do you think I should do?" She asked flat out.

The question took Justin by surprise. This would be too easy. I'll probably mess it up... "What do I think you should do? Hmm." He started. "Well, do you not love him?" She was quiet for a few minutes and with each passing second his heart grew more hopeful than before.

"I don't know. I really don't know. I was thinking maybe it's just pre wedding jitters you know. I hear people get them all the time." She stood up and began wringing her hands together.

Justin stood up and grabbed her shoulders. "I don't think you do."

"Think I do what?" She asked unsure of what he was referring to.

"Love him." He spat out.

He said it so quickly there was no time to react, to think of what to say. She hadn't been expecting that, not anything near that. This was Justin...talking...to...her. Rhiannon put her head down.

"What makes you say that?"

Justin's breathing had become heavier. "I just see it the way you treat him. You treat us a whole lot differently. I don't know, I just don't think you do." That makes sense, idiot!

"Are you sure you just don't want me to love him, I know you all hate him. I just don't know why." He voice was low as she spoke this, her head was down.

"I don't think I could tell you why with out," Justin gulped. "With out...telling you," Justin's voice began to crack as he spoke. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath as Rhiannon waited to hear his words. "With out telling you what I really think of him and, I think he's a jerk. But he...I-." Justin was running out of air, he felt as though he was going to pass out. He sat down on the couch again, bringing Rhiannon down with him. "I don't think he love's you as-," Justin coughed, sweat beads forming on his face. "As much as I do."

His last words were spoken in a squeak. Rhiannon's heart stopped beating for a second then began to beat gradually. She slowly lifted her head to see his face. There was a light from the ceiling glowing down over his face, giving it an eerie glow. He looked too angelic for the words he had just spoken.

Rhiannon let go of Justin's hands and stood up swiftly, now averting her eyes from his body. It was as if he were repulsive to her. "What? No wait!" She said sticking her hand out. "Don't answer. Don't answer me." She had felt something like this was going on, but she had never prepared her self for the words. It was Justin!

She paced the room for a second, her mind swimming in a deep ocean, her head just above the crashing waves.

I don't think he loves you as-as much as I do.

Her head went under. She ran to the door and sprinted down the steps on the porch.

It's not fair! It's not fair!

Her legs became light and she flew down the street, every stride made his house farther behind her. Getting away was the only way out.

I am drowning and no one is here to save me.

****************

Justin punched a pillow into the couch. You stupid idiot! I just ruined everything I ever had with her! She's never going to talk to me again. Why couldn't I just live with the fact she was marrying Jake. If I had kept my mouth shut she would still be here! Now I will never get to hold her in my arms or hear her voice. I had to be greedy! I couldn't just accept what I had! Now I've lost the best friend I'll ever have because I had to love her!

Justin fell to his knees, like a mad man and moaned with the pain seeping up into his heart. He didn't care who heard him. He didn't care what happened to him now, she was gone. Gone forever because of his stupidity. Because of his longing. It had been inside him too long to control.

He was now broken, in every form. She had cracked his soul long ago and now...now it was lying in shards on the carpet, bleeding from his body into pools and forming small piles onto the weaved fabric below.

He was broken

****************

Rhiannon stopped running to catch her breath. She sat down on a swing at the park she was in and put her head in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees. She sniffled and sucked back more tears that were already starting to fall onto her fingers. How could all this pain come from one person? Why is he telling me now? All of this is so unfair! He can't just sit down and tell me he loves me. We've been friends, best friend's, for so many years! He cant' just do this to me! Not when I am marrying another man. But am I going to marry him now? I told myself earlier I had no other choice, is this another choice? Is living with Justin another choice? Rhiannon lifted her head and wiped a tear from her eye. No. She told herself plainly. I don't love Justin like that. It's too weird...It's just Justin! She sighed and began to ponder again what she would do. Some things had changed in her predicament, she had to think of these before making her decision. She was either going to marry him or not. It sounded so easy in her head, but it wasn't...

There's love,

then there's freedom,

and then there's her life.

Her life, that was going to change rapidly no matter what her decision.

She heard JC's voice in her head. So soothing, so comforting, so strong. She wished she could run to him and have him hold her. Have him tuck her in to bed after a cup of hot cocoa, just like he had done when she was younger. Have him brush her hair and just make every thing right again, but that wasn't going to happen. Things were too messed up. He couldn't help her. She didn't want him to help her, not in this situation, not like it was ending up.

So she sat in the park, thinking, contemplating, hoping and praying what she was about to do was the right choice.

It was all she could do.

She had to.

****************

A summer breeze swept the hair into her face as she approached the looming doors to the apartment ahead of her. This was it, no turning back. She had made her choice, she had to go through with it and do the right thing. She nodded her head firmly as she stopped in front of the doors and took a deep breath. This was it. Her final moment of freedom, and now...it's gone.

As she opened them she felt her life rush from her veins. Her eyes immediately changed shape, although unknowingly, and sunk. The brightness and animation left them with the first step, otherwise she appeared unchanged, but every simple minded person knows...appearances can be deceiving.

****************

It wasn't happening. His mother wasn't telling him what his ears were hearing. Justin's hands rubbed at his temples, tears threatening to pour out as Lynn told him the "news" of Jake and Rhiannon.

"Honey, I know this is going to be hard for you, but you have to accept the fact. Rhiannon and Jake are getting married." Lynn put a comforting arm around her son, but it did no good. Justin's mind was dealing with so much, that it was swarming with thoughts and visions. The same words playing over and over in his head.

You blew it, she's gone now.

He couldn't fight the tears any longer. He let them fall as he rocked on his bed, his knees at his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around his legs. His sobs couldn't be hidden either, he let them out freely, with no relief.

You blew it, she's gone now.

Lynn stood, feeling the pain in her heart grow, knowing she could do nothing to soothe her son's aching heart.

Justin's sobs bounced off his bedroom walls as they grew louder and louder with each passing moment. The pain was of such intensity he felt as though he was going to burst. The deep throbbing in his chest made it hard for him to breath. His nails dug into his legs puncturing the flesh. His face had gone red with the emotions and pain.

She had caused him to break before, but now...Now she had picked up the pieces and scattered them into the wind, leaving nothing of him for the people who cared.

You damn, fucking idiot! You blew it! She's gone!

****************

In the arms of her fiancee was were she belonged.

Beside the cradle of her newborn son is were she would stay.

Her mind was left to the buzzards which were circling her head.

Jake had been so happy to see her. He had ran into her arms and kissed her deeply, he hadn't noticed when she made no response. She had gone to Randy's crib and laid her head on the side of the crib, fixing her eyes on the tiny boy. If she had lost her life, she was sure he would have the better side of his and never the bad. He would be happy, even if she wasn't. Her world was gone now, sucked down into Hades, never to return.

As she made the call to JC, he had seemed relieved, yet saddened at the same time.

"If this is what you really want, Rhee, I'll be there."

"Thank you J. I do want you there. Jake wants you all to come over afterwards for a small party." Her voice was flat as she spoke, the liveliness had disappeared and JC had noticed.

"Hang in there Rhee." He said closing her eyes. "Things are bound to get better sooner or later."

Rhiannon had been taken aback by his words as she clutched the phone in her hands. "I will J. I promise." Before either of them could finish, Rhiannon hung up.

It was now midnight and Rhiannon was lying in bed. Jake's arms wrapped around her as he slept. She though back once again on the happy times in her life. She had definitely had a few good ones, but at this point the bad seemed to overlap the good.

She had met Joey, Lance and Chris, that had been good. But through them she had met Justin.

She had gotten to live a life on the road with her brother, a life full of excitement and thrills, but in that she missed her adolescence.

Even in going to a regular high school she had found trouble, that obviously had brought her to were she was now.

Straining to find happier memories in her glum thoughts she found the time when she had truly felt warm and free. The one time in her life when she could truly say she was happy and at peace with her self. The one time Justin had kissed her...

****************In her thoughts, as she closed her eyes and dreamt

The winter air had been cold. They had been freezing as they ran into the cabin, alone.

"Where are the others?" She asked brushing her coat off.

"Still outside I think." Justin said as he stomped his boots on the mat to get all the snow off.

"They're insane." She said smiling as she looked back out into the cold. Rhiannon started to take her coat off, but Justin lifted his arms to help her. "Thank you kind sir." She said as she started to walk towards the fire. She sat down on the couch and started to untie her shoelace. Justin ran over to her and grabbed her hand.

"Allow me." He looked up into her eyes with mischief glowing in his. She gave him a confused look, but let him go on. He slowly slid the first boot off her left foot, then set it down on the floor next to him. Moving for the right he began to loosen the laces, with his right hand as his left held her foot up.

Rhiannon stared down at him with wonder, she had never seen him in this light before. Feelings were popping up, she had never felt before. As he slipped the second boot off and held her foot she took in a deep breath.

His hands began to rub gently at her foot as he looked up, again, into her eyes. His smile had faded and a look of seriousness had washed over him. The gleam in his eyes hadn't vanished. Justin moved up onto the couch next to Rhiannon, so close she could feel his breath on her cheek. She dared not move her face towards him, for fear of what would happen, so Justin moved it for her. With his left index finger he turned her head towards his and leaned in to her lips. They met softly and slowly, his top lip resting just atop hers. The sweet taste of his lips lingered for a few moments, even after he had leaned back. Rhiannon was left in a daze as Justin got up and left, without another word.

****************Rhiannon's teary eyes opened

That had been so long ago, so very long ago. The two of them had never exchanged a word about what had happened, but Rhiannon had never forgotten. It wasn't that easy to forget a kiss like that. Another tear slid down her cheek as the coldness surrounding her grew, and her heart melted in her chest.

****************

Her baby blue summer dress hung loose at the hips. Her hair piled on the back of her head in a tight bun. She had little make up on and her expression gave little impression on how she truly felt. She had put on a small smile. One full of mockery. One full of sadness, that didn't show through to her friend's and family.

Her friend's being Joey, Lance, Lynn and Steven. Justin wasn't there...

Her family being JC and Randy.

Not much of a wedding. She thought glumly. As the line made her nearer to the judges desk, her heart started racing. The sweat began to form in little beads on her forehead as she thought, My god, what am I doing?

Rhiannon turned back to her brother, he gave a weak smile, she turned back to the line ahead of her and gulped.

****************

Justin's head throbbed. His eyes were bloodshot. By this time she would be on her way to get married. She was probably smiling and anxious of her new life. She probably was laughing at him, over what he had told her. She had probably told Jake and he was getting ready to kill him. Justin didn't mind, he wanted t o die. He had nothing more to live for.

Nothing.

Justin stood up and walked to the kitchen. He had gotten dressed, his mother had made him, but he felt like crawling back into bed...and never getting back up.

Justin flipped on the radio. Oh god, just my friggin' luck. He thought as he plopped into the chair next to the stereo. Just what I need a love song...and not to mention, Rhee's favorite.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't lift his arm to turn the station, so he did the only thing he could do, listen.

That old dog has chained you up all right/Give you everything you need/To live inside a twisted cage/Sleep beside an empty rage/I had a dream I was your hero

This is going to make me cry, and god help me, this is one thing I told myself I'd never do. Not over a song. As the song continued the words jabbed at what was left of his soul. If he could tell her the words...

Justin lifted his hand and slapped himself. You tried it Curls, you tried and you failed.

CHORUS: Damn I wish I was your lover/I'll rock you till the daylight comes

Make sure you are smiling and warm/I am everything/Tonight I'll be your mother I will

Do such things to ease your pain/Free your mind and you won't feel ashamed

I will forever feel ashamed, what the hell is she talking about? He thought as a tear slid down his cheek and his bottom lip began to pout out.

This monkey can't stand to see you black and blue/Give you something sweet each time you/Come inside my jungle book/What is it just too good/Don't say you'll stay/

Cause then you go away

CHORUS

Shucks for me there is no other/You're the only shoe that fits/I can't imagine I'll grow out of it/Damn I wish I was your lover

I could have been, though! If I had tried harder or told her long ago, I might have been able to fix things. There was never a sign. I never got a sign from her...

If I was your girl believe me/I'd turn on the Rolling Stones/We could groove along and feel much better/I could do it forever and ever/Give me an hour to kiss you/

Walk through heaven's door I'm sure/We don't need no doctor to feel much better/

Let me in/Forever and ever and ever and ever

An hour to kiss you!? An hour to kiss you! The kiss! The kiss! I kissed her! She kissed me back, I'm sure of it! Justin stood up and pushed his chair back on the linoleum floor. His ears perked to hear the rest of the song that he was sure was a sign from God.

I sat on the mountainside with peace of mind/I lay by the ocean making love to her/with visions clear/Walked for days with no one near/And I return as chained and bound to you

CHORUS

It has to mean something! It just has to! What are the odds that this song would have come on? If I don't make one last try (One Last Cry) I'll never know the truth! He ran out of the kitchen, not bothering to turn the stereo off. He ran out of the house, not bothering to put on shoes and jumped into his van.

If he hurried he might be able to catch her, to tell her...To stop her.

****************

Rhiannon and Jake were the next in line. The judge was going to marry them next. Jake held the forms in his hands. Rhiannon looked up at his face, she felt the tears building up again as she felt her fate unraveling.

Please! Something, some one come save me! Get me out of this! She pleaded as she began to shake.

Rhiannon let out a deep breath and began chanting in her head, It's just pre-wedding jitters. It's just pre-wedding jitters. It's just pre-wedding jitters. It's just pre-wedding jitters.

Jake looked down at her, sensing something wrong with his bride to be. He patted her arm, she didn't look up. Jake smiled to himself. Cute, she's nervous.

It will all be over in a few minutes then you can go home and try to lead a normal life. It will all be over before you know it. Rhiannon looked over her shoulder at her friend's. They were wearing half smiles. She turned around again. If everyone knows this is wrong why doesn't anyone stop this?

"Chasez-Donavan step foreword please."

****************

Justin pushed his foot down on the peddle. He was almost there. He was running out of time. He saw the court house in the distance. It seemed to be getting farther and farther away as he drove towards it. His eyes ached from the tears he had shed just minutes ago. His heart was pounding in his chest, banging against his rib cage as if trying to escape. He pulled into the parking lot and jumped out of the car, his bare feet hitting the pavement hard. As he ran up the steps people around him gave him odd looks and made comments. He ignored them, all he cared about was getting to Rhiannon and making his last move. He entered the large wooden doors of the building and was lost immediately. He frantically looked for a front desk or something, but saw none in his view. He began to panic, some one grabbed his shoulder.

"Excuse me sir, you look a little, uh...distraught. May I help you?" Justin turned around to see a large security guard.

"Yes, please. I need to find the place were uh, people get married." He said shifting his eyes rapidly.

"Hmm." The man said putting his finger on his chin. "Are you feeling OK, son?"

"Look, I'm feeling fine, I just need to stop some one from making the biggest mistake of her life. If I don't stop her from marrying this guy she'll regret it for the rest of her life and-."

"And she won't be with you if she does." The man said in a soothing voice, as he put his hand on Justin's shoulder.

"Yeah, well sorta." He said shifting eagerly. "But I'm in a hurry." He said hopping up and down.

"Calm down, son. I'll get you there." The security guard said with a smile. "It's this way." He still had his hand on Justin's shoulder as he led him to the court room.

Justin saw her head before he saw anything else. "I see her!" He said shaking off the guard's hand as he began to run towards her. "Rhiannon!" He yelled as he hopped over the railing of the courtroom. "Stop! Please! Stop!"

****************

Rhiannon turned quickly as she heard his voice echoing throughout the room. She gasped as she saw him leap towards her. He stopped a few feet away from her as JC and the others stood up. Jake wasn't sure what to do, but his fists were clenched.

"Justin what are you doing?" Lynn asked in a scolding voice, the worry showing through.

Rhiannon did not avert her eyes from him as he stepped foreword.

"Please don't do this." He said his voice pleading. "You know you don't want to. You know it's wrong." He started. Rhiannon didn't flinch, she just watched in shock as he spoke. Her heart thumping, her eyes emotionless. "You can't marry some one you don't love. You can't marry him when you know..." He paused taking her hands into his, they were clammy.

Jake took a step foreword but held himself back, for some odd reason or another. Deep inside he didn't believe she would go with him. So he waited.

"When you know you love someone else."

JC took a deep breath. Lynn fell into her seat with weakness. Joey put his head in his hands, praying it would all be over soon. Lance moaned and sank into his chair. Chris sat in his chair, frozen, as if under the spell of the words just spoken.

What are you doing?

The room was silent, not a word was spoken. All they could do was watch and wait.

If anyone had been paying attention, they might have seen the look of aggravation on the judge's face. "Excuse me, I have people waiting. Am I going to marry you or not?" He asked in a booming gruff voice.

Rhiannon turned around quickly, her face frantic. She had to make her choice, now. Why was she making it so hard? A tear escaped her over flowing eyes as she began to shake. His hand squeezed her own. The warmth of his flesh against her causing her to tingle all over.

"I...I...I..." She sputtered.

"You can't do this to yourself. You can't marry him when you know you don't want to marry him." Justin pleaded, his heart racing with anticipation.

"Yeah, more like she can't do this to you." Jake said grabbing her hand.

The site in the court room was like one in a movie. The two men were holding the girl's hand, both fighting to keep her. Her arms were outstretched. Her head turned from boy to man, the boy was weak, but so was the man.

The panic set in as the battle began.

"That's right, she can't do this to me, I love her!" Justin said pulling her towards him.

"So what?! She doesn't love you back. She loves me." Jake shouted pulling her back to him.

"She doesn't love you! You just too blind to see that."

"Once again Miss, I don't have the time for this." The judge said, now standing.

Justin turned his pleading eyes from the judges to hers, never giving her the chance to break the stare.

She heard Jake's voice though, trying to get her to come to him. "Rhee..."

The boy was weak...but so was the man...

She had to make her decision. With all eyes on her she pulled her hand away from the boy.

She had made her decision long ago, but had been too scared to accept it.

The man had always been the right choice. As she took a step towards the shocked face a weight lifted off her shoulders.

She was free again, in his arms, she would always be...

Free

****************

"What are you doing Rhiannon?" Jake asked running to grab her arm. His eyes were wide, his voice cold, and unbelieving.

"I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago Jake." She said shaking Jake's hand off her shoulder.

"What's that?" He asked, his voice high and shocked.

"Leaving you." She said plainly as she turned and pulled on Justin's arm so he would move. He was in shock. He had expected her to not marry Jake, but not this. This was more than he ever thought would have happened...not that he didn't like it.

JC walked up next to her, Randy in his arms. She took him from JC and cradled him with her free arm. "Do you know what you're doing?" He asked, not letting the relief show through in his eyes.

"Yes. Grasping reality."

"Reality?" Justin asked, finally breaking his silence.

Rhiannon turned to him, her hand still in his. "Yes. You've always been that to me." The silence shared between them in the next few moments told them both of the pain they had been through. In each other's eyes they found the missing link, the link that would hold them together finally piecing together the puzzle that had been there lives.

JC's expression of curiosity faded when he saw the light in his sister's eyes, along with the glowing orbs in front of her, which belonged to Justin. He understood where she was coming from. He finally realized why the tension had been so great on her part lately.

She loved him. Plain and simple, even if she had only just know acknowledged it. She loved him.

Jake didn't move from his spot on the court room floor as he watched Rhiannon and his son leave his sight.

Lynn had been to shocked to say anything, just as the others had been. She would find out later when her son was ready to tell her, and the others. For now she would let her son go, and do whatever it was he was going to do now, because it was clear to her, she didn't know.

****************

As the two figures ran down the steps of the court house hand in hand it was clear that they didn't know where they were going. Their feet pounded down the steps. They were trying to get away from the building behind them, that was clear. One of the figures, a girl, had a small bundle in her arms, a baby.

"Wait! Rhee." Justin said stopping at the bottom of the stairs. "Do you know what we're doing?"

She nodded, "Leaving."

"Where?" He asked waiting for an answer, but not expecting one.

Rhiannon looked around biting her lip, an action which he loved to watch. A smile crept up onto her lips, "I don't know." She said sheepishly turning back to his smiling face.

"I brought my van." He offered.

"OK...but what then." She said feeling the situation become stranger and stranger.

Justin let out a small laugh. "I don't know. I didn't really think ahead when I came to, uh, get you."

Rhiannon looked down at Randy. "We could go back to my apartment and get my clothes." She suggested.

"OK." He said taking her hand. "Then what?" He asked as he led her to the van.

"Help me move out...Maybe I could stay at your place for a while."

"I don't have a place." He joked.

She squeezed his hand. "I'm trying here."

"I know." He said with a smile. "I guess we could do that, but what about after that? What happens then?"

"Do we have to think that far ahead right now?" She asked looking into his eyes. "I can't imagine what will happen after this, and at this point I don't want to. Can we just enjoy this." She asked stopping to caress his cheek.

Justin nodded and kissed her palm lightly before continuing to walk on. They stopped at the van, and taking a deep breath emerged into the life they had just created.

****************

The lights were dim as they approached the house hand in hand. Both knew that some of the people inside would disapprove of their choice, but some would agree with the decision whole heartily. Randy was in the baby carrier around Rhiannon's neck, asleep as usual. Totally oblivious to what was occurring around him.

The door opened before they could reach the top step. JC ran out. "Rhee! I have been trying to get you all day!" He grabbed her arms and squeezed them, not wanting to smush Randy. "And you!" He said turning to Justin. Justin started backing away fearing the worst. JC lifted his fist in the air and sent it flying towards Justin, it landed softly on his arm. "I only wish you would have done it sooner." He went in to give the man a brief hug, then turned back to Rhiannon, his face glowing with smiles.

"J." Rhiannon said putting her arm around his shoulder. She laughed aloud. "Is it this good inside?" She asked hopefully. JC's face grew somber.

"JC?" Justin questioned, knowing why his face was like it was.

"Your mom isn't too happy. She doesn't want to see you get hurt."

"Why does she think I'll get hurt?" He asked stepping towards JC.

JC glanced at Rhiannon who looked just as puzzled. "It's just because of Randy and if you two get involved-"

"That's too late buddy." Justin said putting his arm around Rhiannon. "That already happened."

JC rolled his eyes. "I had a feeling it would have." He sighed, "Come on in then." He said motioning for them to follow.

Justin looked at Rhiannon, she looked at him. No words again needed to be spoken. They would be each other's shield. Justin gave Rhiannon a quick kiss on the cheek, their first real kiss had yet to happen. They both took a step forward in unison and walked through the open door.

I'll be your shield, if you'll only be mine.

****************

No tears had been shed in the living room. No tears had been shed between Rhiannon and her 4 brothers...

Justin, on the other hand, hadn't been so lucky. He was in Rhiannon's arms now, staring out into the starry night, not talking. She caressed his curly head with her left hand as she hugged him close to her body with the other. They had been like this for an hour, neither speaking, neither moving. The cool night air and the stillness, the quietness gave the atmosphere a calming feel, along with Rhiannon's arms. Justin felt good, he had wanted this, and now he had it...

"What do you think about me getting my own place." He said suddenly, causing Rhiannon to jump. When she settled, she rested her head back onto his.

"Why would you ask me?" She said softly, with a grin.

"Why wouldn't I?" He answered seriously. The smile faded from her lips. She moved him into a sitting position so she could see his face.

"You're serious?" She asked a little surprised.

He nodded. "Why not? I'm 18, I'm not in school any more...Don't you think it's time?"

"I guess so." She said with a smile, enjoying the way he was getting worked up. He began to laugh at himself to, but just a little. He was serious. "OK, so where do you want to live? You'll be on tour most of the time so what's the point?"

Justin laughed at Rhiannon.

"What?" She asked getting annoyed with his laughter.

"You can be really dense sometimes, you know that?" He put his hand gently down on her arm. "I'm not asking you where I should live...I thought you would have caught on by now..." The last part he said to himself in a whisper. "I'm asking you where we should live." Rhiannon gasped at his offer. She had liked the idea of them being together, but what did he mean by this? "You can't go on the road with Randy, and we have to go on tour. Why don't I buy a house and we call it ours when I'm there and when I'm not it's yours."

Rhiannon smiled. "That does sound nice doesn't it." She turned her head and began to stare off dreamily. "A house of my own. Will it be big?" She asked turning back to him, with a gleam in her eye.

"Yeah, as big as you want it. We could put a swing set in the back for Randy." He started making suggestions, each one getting grander and grander.

After a half hour, the two grew silent. "There's always another question we haven't answered yet." Justin said grabbing her hand again. Rhiannon nodded, knowing what it was. "What about us?"

"Well...what do you think?" She asked timidly, really not knowing what to say...or do.

Justin planted a goofy smile on his face. "I think I've wasted 8 years of my life waiting for you to make your move." He moved closer to her on the porch swing. "I think it's time I finally made mine."

Rhiannon was going to say he already had, the time in the cabin, but stopped when she saw him moving towards her lips.

He leaned in closer slowly snaking his arms around her as they locked in an embrace. His mouth hovered just above hers, teasing himself with anticipation. Then he leaned fully into her, kissing her three short times, then giving her one long intense kiss. He repeated the process, his senses searing the moment into his brain. The feeling of her lips against his was like magic.

She leaned into his kiss, giving into him fully, allowing herself only enough strength to hold onto his arms. The dizzying sensation of his lips against her made her too weak for anything else, so she gave in. The feeling of his heart beating in his chest made her powerless, so...she gave in.

She gave in.

****************