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In Memoriam
Neil Edward October 24, 1970-December 10, 1987
This page completed and dedicated on December 10, 1997. No further changes will be made.
I have created this webpage as a tribute to my brother. Its purpose is not for sympathy or compassion, but to inform you of what he suffered and what my family endured.The day is quickly arriving upon us. After it passes, you will neither feel or know any difference, but i will. The day, December 10, 1987. A day that completely changed my aspect on life. December 10, 1997, a decade later, though it feels just as it was yesterday. On this day, my only brother died. At the time, i was 12, still young and innocent. I had a close knit family. Just your average middle-class family. It was a typical Thursday Morning.My older sister, my brother, and i were preparing for school. My brother, an asthmatic, began to have, what seemed usual, an attack. I knew something was wrong when my mother started yelling for my father to come quickly. I entered Neil's room to see him swelled up and turning blue. My Mother, kneeling next to him, telling him to stay calm. As my brother inhaled deeply, using his Proventil Inhaler, he panicked. He could not exhale, and began inhaling rapidly, only to balloon up even more. Then he passed out.My Dad laid Neil on the floor and began CPR, as my Mother rushed to get the car ready. Neil came back to, and my Dad picked him up, craddling him like a baby. As my father carried Neil downstairs, he only said one thing."Dad, i want my shoes," he gasped. Those were the last words i heard from him. I grabbed his new Lottos and put them on his feet. I still have those Lottos, last worn by Neil.In the garage, my Dad placed Neil in the passenger seat. My Mom sped through the subdivision, en route to the hospital. As she neared the entrance of the neighborhood, , Neil fell unconscious again. She turned the car around and sped home. Once in the driveway, my Dad pulled Neil from the car and drug him to the middle of the driveway. I ran outside to see if i could help. I can still feel the brisk winter air blowing by me. I can still see the terror in my mother's eyes. My father tells me to go inside, i comply, as he once again begins CPR.My mother frantically calls 911 as i peer through the mini blinds in the living room. Every time i look at the driveway from the bay window, i see it all happen again. My brother, lying lifeless in the driveway, with my dad hovering over him. I still hear the agonizing screams from my father as he pounded on Neil's chest."Neil, damn it, talk to me!" my Dad shouts inbetween sobs, over and over again. Even though it was still dark, with only the porch light glowing, i could still see the tears streaming down my Dad's face. I watched as Neil's life was taken. I watched as it was attempted to be saved. I watched, and i never forgot.You see, Neil and i had just created that special bond, the bond of brotherly love. Neil was your typical seventeen year old. He was rebellious, in style, and seemed to have nothing to lose. He was very popular in his Junior class and dated a woman several years older. I didn't know much about Neil personally since i was young and had just started to hang out with him. I just know i loved him, and even though he never said it, i know he loved me also. About the only thing i can remember about Neil, was his talent to write. He was excellent in all forms of writing but loved poetry. It's odd though, when he passed away, it seems that God passed his talent down to me. I began writing after his death, and continue to do so. Writing is my release from the world, where every feeling i have, every emotion i feel, goes onto paper. Below is a sample of what kind of poetry i create.In conclusion, we all think we have all the time in the world to let someone know how we feel. I used to be one of those people, but now i'm not. Every chance i get, i tell my family i love them. I never had the chance to say good-bye to Neil, and i never will. Death plays a major role in everyone's life. After all, it happens to all of us.I sincerely thank you for your time spent at this webpage. I have a guestbook below, please feel free to sign it or forward all email to my address below.
SACRED TIES
Am i my brothers keeper?
I better be, since he is six foot deeper.
I will protect my name and who i am.
So tell me who gives a damn?
My blood runs thick in my vein,
And my brothers honor keeps me sane.
He gives me the love i need,
And vents the anger at which i feed.
The bond between my brother and i,
Can not seperate if one of us shall die.
It only brings us closer to one another,
After all, he is my only brother.
DHM 01-13-97
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