The Jerry Springer J File Part 2

Springer - Welcome back. If you're just tuning in our subject is video game mascots, and the women they cheat on. Our next guest is one of the oldest mascots to have graced the video screen. He has had so many affairs in the past, he has given himself a slight name change, here's Mario Suave.

(Mario comes out in S&M gear and throws sexual suggestions to the audience before sitting down.)

Jerry - Well it looks like you're ready for a wild night Mario Suave.

Mario - Sorry Jerry, but I-a have a new-a name. One that-a fits my lifestyle.

Jerry - Really? A new name? What is it?

Mario - Sexuall Pizza!!

Jerry - Sexuall....Pizza?

Sonic - Oh brother, that's not even an Italian dish. It originated in America.

S Pizza - Was I-a talking to-a you @$$hole?!

Sonic - You wanna try something? C'mon you fat, greasy b!tch!!

(Security comes in and calms them down.)

Jerry - Settle down. Appearently there's no love lost between you two. So Mari-errrr....Sexuall Pizza, who are you having an affiar with?

S. Pizza - Hey who am I-a not having an affair with? Let's-a bring out my-a ho's!!

Jerry - Here they are, let's bring out Daphnee, Princess Daisy, Princess Toadstool, Princess Peach, and Princess..... Lewinsky?

(The Princesses start fighting each other just as they come out.)

Daphnee - Back off b!tches, he's my man!!

P. Daisy - No way!! He's mine!!

P. Toadstool - Like hell, he's mine you skank!!

P. Peach I didn't bake him cakes for nothing, he's mine!!

P. Lewinsky - He's mine!! And I can suck a baseball through 60 feet of garden hose!!

S. Pizza - He, he. Look at-a them fight over-a me!!

P. Daisy - Not you plumber boy, where talking about the guy we met in the back.

S. Pizza - W-what?!! But there's no one as hot as-a me!! Who a-da hell is this-a guy?!!

Jerry - Well, let's bring him out!! Welcome our mystery guest!!

S. Pizza - D-D-Donkey Kong?!!!

D. Kong - That's right! I got it where it counts you fat, hairy greaseball! Check this out!!......(Unzip.....thud!!)

S. Pizza - Momma mia!! I'm-a ruined!!

Sally - What the f-.........ta hell with you Sonic and Jughead, I'm gonna get me some Donkey Kong dong!!

D. Kong - Ooohh that's right baby!! All the princesses go for my huge Donkey shlong!!

S. Pizza - Nooooo!! It's a not fair!!

Sonic - Hey Mario, C'mere. Me and Jughead might have a plan.

Jerry - Man, this is nut's!! WE'll be right back folks. Stay Tuned.