The J-Files: Jerry Springer Part 3

  Sonic - Who?

  Mario - Never heard of-a her.

  (Tawna walks out on stage.)

  Tawna - Hi everybody! How are y-...oh my god!! Donkey Kong's.......look at he size of that!!

  Jerry - Ummm. yes we know. Donkey Kong could you put that away?

  D.K. - Heh sorry, it's just hard to get back in after whipping it out.

  Jerry - Tawna, you've just had a recent brek up after finding out some disturbing news about your boyfriend correct?

  Tawna - Man, I could ride on that thing all ni-hunh? Oh! Ummm... yes. Yes. It was very heart breaking.

  Sonic - Who are you anyway?

  Tawna - I'm the former girlfriend of Crash Bandicoot. I was in the first game remember?

  Sonic - Crash had a girlfriend in the first game?

  Tawna - Yes!! The whole damn goal of the game was to rescue me!! Anyway, i want to confront him, and tell him just how I feel.

  Jerry - You will right now. Here's Crash and his sister Coco!!

  (Crash and Coco start to come on stage as Tawna attacks Crash with a knife,)

  Tawna - Die Bastard! Diiee!!!

  Crash - Holy crap!! Get offa me you psycho bitch!!

  (Security grabs Tawna and hauls her away.)

  Tawna - I will not be ignored!! You haven't heard the last of me you bastard!!

  Audience - Jerry!! Jerry!! Jerry!!

  Skinny audeince member - Tom!!!

  (The rest of the audeince beats up the skinny guy.)

  Jerry - Soo, the rumors are true then eh? That's pretty..umm...sick.

  Crash - Yea, well, why go out for milk when you got the cow at home, right baby?

  Coco - Tee-Hee! Yes, why our illegal love has spawned us a third member into our family. C'mere sweetie!

  Jerry - Everyone meet Crash and Coco's child, cyclops Bandicoot!!

  (The child walks over to coco, tripping over stuff along the way.)

  Jerry - He's umm...kinda clumsy don't you think?

  Crash - Well, that's bound to happen. Y'see, has has no sense of deph since he has only one eye and one ear in the back of his head.

  Cyclops -  I'm special!! Uncle daddy and Aunt Momma said so!

  Mario - Momma-mia!!! What a freak!!

  Crash - Hey!! That's my kid you're talking about pal!!

  Cyclops - What do they mean freak?

  Jughead - We'll kid, when when a man and a woman who are no relation do the nasty, they usually have a normal kid. But, like alot of people in the south, if those two people are brother and sister, then they turn out a freak like you.

  Cyclops - Damn you two!! I could've had a normal child hood if you'dve stayed with Tawna!! Instead, I'm  a bastard child!! I want to end it all!!

  Coco - Wait!! Son, you don't know what you're saying?

  Jerry - Hey kid!! Get away from the window!! We're fifty stories up!!

  Cyclops - So long you sick basards!! (Jumps out window.) AAAHHHHHH!!!

  (Everyone goes to the window to look.)

  SPLAT!!

  Sonic - Wow!! He splattered like a watermelon on that David Letterman show!! Nasty!!

  Coco - Oh god my baby!!

  Crash - Don't worry baby, we can make another one just like him, and have fun trying heheh.

  Coco - Tee-Hee, okay!!

  Jerry - Man you two are sick!! It's time to go to a commercial. When we come back, we'll have a gangster rapper, and a suprise guest for Donkey Kong.

  D.K. - Who's that?

  Sonic and Mario - Heheheh.