Of course, this goes against what Mensa thinks of me, since i am one of a line in my family who has been asked to join, but has turned town that gracious offer because i don't need a bunch of pseudo-intellectual snobs telling me how smart i am, when i can have my mother tell me what an idiot i am. Ok, so they haven't exactly asked ME...but i do qualify (hey, it was a good lie to make my point, right? LOL) But i digress.
So, again i ask. What is boredom anyway? Personally, i think it's the impulse (for me) to sit in front of my computer night after night, staring at a nearly empty ICQ list and an AIM window with no one on it. Boredom is what makes me write this column week after week when i know only about 5-10% of all the people on the addy list actually read it (probably also due totally to boredom...and it only worsens while reading it). Boredom is what makes me go to Meijer at 2:00 in the morning, walk to the car stereos, turn one on full-blast and start dancing down the aisles til they throw me out.
This topic came to me at work Monday nite (also when i wrote most of it) while i was staring out at a practically empty mall filled only with the people who had to be there to pay the bills, and the certifiable, who had no business being out on the roads just so they could come to the mall to annoy the hell out of me. And of course, that's the only reason they were there. Me (yes, i am an egotistical wench, so sue me.) This was after i'd done my dance to the chorus of 'I Believe I Can Fly' (you know, from space jam), after i'd done my range of animal/baby impressions, after i'd played 'let's see who can spit popcorn farthest', and finally, after i'd scared more than one customer away by the above antics and had mall security come by to ask me to stop it before they had me arrested.
And that was in the first hour. I had 3.5 to go..so, i wrote this after scribbling my name ad nauseum, writing out tongue twisters (Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously. For Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses, as Moses supposes his toeses to be.) and trying my name with men i've fallen for (How does Jennifer Van Der Beek sound? Jennifer Affleck?? LMAO)
This is what boredom does to people. It turns normally interesting, intelligent people into driveling idiots (and you may call me Queen) It's what makes people watch C-SPAN and The Weather Channel. It's normal, something everyone experiences at least once in their lives. So, may i be the first to say...
Say it long and say it loud, I am bored, and I'm about ready to go out and actually get myself a life (say it ain't so!!)
So the next time you begin to experience that horrible feeling known as boredom, take a page out of my book...Go somewhere, act like an idiot, and get kicked out...One day, you just might be telling your grandkids about it =-)
