Now, God knew that He had to find someone to actually turn his Son in, so He chose this dude named Judas. See, Judas didn't think that Jesus was taking his job seriously enough, and thought he really needed a wake up call (*BRRRRRRRRRING!* it's 7:30, time for you to wake up =-) ) so he went to the cats who were offering the reward, and told em exactly where Jesus would be, how they'd recognize him, all that stuff...Jesus, being the son of God, knew that all of this was coming, he just didn't know who was going to be responsible for his downfall...can i just tell you how much that must suck? Knowing you're going to die, knowing pretty much when it's going to happen, and not being able to do a damn thing about it? Personally, i probably would have been like 'yo, Dad...can't we like, compromise here? Give me like, 5, 10 more years...see what i can do. I mean, yeah, you're all-knowing and stuff, but hey, i might surprise ya.'
So, knowing that the end was coming, Jesus decided to have one last all-night rave...ok dinner party, if you must be detail-oriented...figuring that if everyone got drunk enough, maybe some tongues would start wagging, and he'd figure out what was going to happen so he could avoid it. Unfortunately, he decided to serve bread with dinner, and as we all know, the bread soaks up the wine...so everyone pretty much remained sober. Well, there were a few exceptions, but not the one that matters.
Everything went according to plan...they found him, and they decided to humiliate him a bit before actually killing him. So they whipped him, and he stood there and said 'Oooh baby, give me more' (ok, so i'm taking a little poetic license here).
Meanwhile, Judas is coming to the realization that they're actually going to kill Jesus (hello, clue phone, it's for you) and totally regrets what he did...but no, he still winds up with the bad rep for what he did...I think he was just a pawn used to make what was meant to be happen, so we totally can't blame him...why make him a bad guy when he actualy is a good guy? But hey...i know that's an unpopular opinion, so i digress.
And i mean, come on...(ok, so i'm not digressing that much) all Judas did was turn Jesus in to the feds for 30 pieces of silver...he NEVER denied knowing him...Hello...who was it that denied Jesus not once, not twice, but THREE times??? (no, honestly, who was it? i forget...it was either Peter or Paul...maybe it was Mary, no wait...that's a folk trio...anyway, it was either Peter or Paul...i'm sure i'll remember the instant i hit 'send' and knock myself silly) And no one else felt guilty enough to kill themselves because of what happened...ok, so maybe no one else really had the reason to...except for dude that denied Jesus...he DESERVED to die...but that's just my opinion...anyway, back to the humiliation thing...
They decided that the ultimate humiliation (which is something they did a lot in those days) would be for Jesus to actually drag the cross he would be hung up on to the hill where he and two other dudes were gonna perish. That's where we get the fourteen stations of the cross from...Jesus walking, stumbling, falling, having people wipe his face for him...over and over. So they get to the hill, and they stuck him up on the cross, nailing his hands, nailing his feet...and he had this like crown of thorns shoved onto his head, so he was pretty much an incredibly disgusting mess, all covered in blood and sweat and dirt...and it was then...THEN... that the people decide to mock him. I mean, how bloodthirsty ARE humans? I'd probably puke at such a sight, but then again, i didn't live back then (thank God, i don't think i'd be able to make it without indoor plumbing)
So he died...and went to hell. He looked around for a little while, basically told the devil 'Hey, Satan, screw you!' (once again, poetic license) and on the third day, which we now call Easter, rose to Heaven to take his place at the right hand of God. Now, a lot of importance has been placed on the whole right hand thing...it's the dominant hand, blah, blah, blah...*I* say that the reason Jesus is seated at the right hand of God is because God is, of course, a Lefty...and those of us lefties out there know what a pain in the neck it is to have someone sitting on that side...be it when you're writing, eating, what have you. But, once again, that's just my opinion.
I could go on, but that's enough theology for today...next week, kiddies, we'll have Moses parting of the Red Sea...ok, no we won't, but it was a good try...
