The Muse 77

Rating: G

"Boys" announced Chris Larabee, leader and occasional babysitter of the six members of the ATF. "The judge has just advised me that we….. that is, four of you …. are going to be visiting some schools this week."

Six heads lifted in shock from their desks and computer screens.

"Buck, J.D., Ezra and Vin will be re-educating the youth of Denver tomorrow."

"Re-educating the youth?" gasped Buck.

"Why us?" asked J.D.

"Well boys, think it might have something to do with the warehouse you blew up last week."

"Aw c’mon Chris, that was an accident. We didn’t mean to…." Began Vin.

"Don’t matter what you meant," said Larabee. "You caused over half a million in damages."

"So, what are we doing at this academic establishment?" inquired Ezra.

"Seems you boys will be taking a class of 6 and 7 year olds and teaching them the finer points of clean living." The man in black smirked.

"Us!" the four men said in unison.

"Yep, you. You’ll all be at Denver Elementary School at 8.30 a.m. in the morning." Said Chris as he opened the door to his office, "Oh… and Ezra, that means 8.30 A.M. in the morning."

"We’ll say a prayer for you brother." Laughed Josiah.

"Yep, good luck guys." Added Nathan.

Muttered curses ranging from ‘shit’ to …. um….. lets just say other curses could be heard from the Team 7 office.

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

Tuesday Morning 8.25 a.m.

Two cars, a sleek red BMW and a beat up Ford drove up and parked outside the Denver Elementary School. Four men slowly, tentatively began to get out of the cars.

"Well we’re here." said J.D. enthusiastically.

"Yes we are. I do not fancy facing marauding little savages at this ungodly hour." Whined Standish. "Oh marvellous." He continued as he saw two children approaching the car.

Two little girls carrying their school bags wandered up to the BMW and stared at the driver, one Ezra Standish as he got out of the car.

"Hey Mister?" the first little girl asked. "Is that your car?"

"Why yes it is." Standish said proudly

"Did ya steal it?"

"Oh how charming…. No I didn’t steal it, it’s mine." Standish replied.

Eyeing the car again the child looked to her friend and said, "I reckon he must be a pimp or a drug dealer. My mum says anybody who drives a car that don’t have rust in it is doing something illegal."

"Yeah, and he looks like one of them criminal type men." The other girl said. "And that icky suit…. and he smells like.. perfume." she continued screwing up her nose.

"I’ll have you know this is an Armani suit." Replied Standish indignantly. "And imported After Shave."

Buck and Vin, who had heard the conversation began laughing.

"Always did say you’d make a good pimp, didn’t I Vin?"

"Yep, that’s something I always remember you saying Buck, Ezra’d make a good pimp. It’s something about the eyes."

"Ah yeah, the eyes."

Ezra tried to ignore the two agents and went to step closer to the girls "Now listen here you two." He continued as he crouched down in front of them.

Suddenly one of the children began to scream pointing at the well dressed agent. "Stranger…. stranger…" She swung her bag around, catching the agent on the side of the head knocking him to the ground. Grabbing her friends hand both girls ran screaming toward the school building.

"Oh, good start Ezra." Said J.D. laughing.

"Great, you’re not here five minutes and you already have the kids screaming." Added Vin. "That’s a record even for you."

Standish groaned and gingerly lifted himself off the ground, straightened his jacket and headed toward the entrance to the school. "Beaten up by vigilante juveniles on the steps of an elementary school. This is going to be a long day." He sighed.

"Don’t worry Ezra." Consoled J.D. "We’ll protect you from the big, bad, nasty 7 year old girls."

"Do I have a bruise? Oh good lord.. look at the dirt on my jacket." Standish groaned.

The three men laughed at the other and walked up the stairs and into the school.

"Morning Ma’am." Said Buck as he approached the office. "My name’s Buck Wilmington. We’re from the ATF."

"Oh yes, of course… we’ve been expecting you. Actually it’s perfect timing. Two of our little girls have just told us that they were approached by a drug dealer out the front of the school…" The Principal informed them.

The four men peered past the woman talking and noticed the two girls from earlier that morning, crying hysterically in the Principals office.

"Ah… yes ma’am… we’ll….. look into it …. um…. straight away." Suggested Wilmington signalling for Vin and J.D. to hide Ezra.

Tanner and Dunne, standing behind the bigger agent, none too gently pushed Standish to the side, out of view of the office door.

"I thought there was going to be four of you Mr. Wilmington." Asked the principal.

"The name’s Buck ma’am, and yes, there is four of us. This is Vin Tanner.."

"Howdy ma’am."

"Hello, I’m Irene."

"This is J.D. Dunne."

"Morning."

"And this…." Buck said pushing Ezra toward the door. "Is Ezra Standish."

"The pleasure is all mine, and may I say madam……"

"Anyway, where would you like us to start?" asked Wilmington.

"We have arranged the classes into two for you. Perhaps you and Mr. Dunne would like to take the class in Room 2E and Mr. Tanner and Mr. Standish could go to 2D."

"Sure thing ma’am, just point us in the right direction." Vin smiled.

Arriving at their designated rooms, the four men paired off and tentatively entered the classrooms.

They were introduced to their respective class and then the teachers left them to fend for themselves. Buck and J.D. decided to start with the ‘let’s get to know you’ approach first. One by one they asked the students about their family and pets.

"Well Jack, do you have any brothers or sisters?" asked Buck innocently.

The boy looked sadly at the big man. "No." he said.

"Oh well, that makes you special then." Wilmington added trying to cheer the child up.

"Nope… mom says it’s because dad has no lead in his pencil and that’s why I don’t have any brothers or sisters. Mr. Buck, my dad has plenty of pencils and they all have lead in them. Do you think maybe my mom should try using a different pencil?"

Buck coughed. "Ah son, well….. I suppose that might help."

J.D. laughed. "Don’t worry Buck, I’ll get you out of this."

"Oh great.. I’m being saved by the head of the midget army."

Turning to the rest of the class J.D. asked, "Does anybody have a favourite movie?"

A little brown haired boy sitting at the front of the class raised his hand.

"Hello." Said J.D. "What’s your name?"

"My name is Daniel." Replied the child.

"And what’s your favourite movie, Daniel?"

"My mom makes us watch Terminator all the time. She likes to look at the man that saves the lady. She says that if she ever met that man that she’d screw his brains out." The boy paused, then continued, looking confused. "Hey Mr. J.D., I didn’t know that your brains could screw out."

"Um…. well, in certain circumstances ……. " J.D. looked desperately toward Buck. "Feel free to jump in any time Buck".

"Oh no…. this is just…. just beautiful."

"Mr. Buck?" asked a little voice from up the back of the room. "Have you ever had to screw anybodies brains out?"

"Take it away Buck." said Dunne smugly.

Wilmington coughed. "Does anybody want to play a game?"

"Yeah" cried the children together.

"What would you like to play?" asked the younger man.

"Cowboys and Indians." The children yelled and cheered.

"We’ll be The Magnificent Seven and you can be the Indians." Said Buck.

"But Mr. Buck, there’s only two of you." Said Johnny sadly. "Isn’t there supposed to be seven?"

"That’s alright, it’s just pretend." J.D. offered.

"Yeah," said Rebecca. "My mommy and daddy play Cowboys and Indians at night and there’s only two of them. Sometimes daddy ties mommy up and……. "

"Uh…. O.K. let’s read a story." Said Buck.

"But I didn’t tell you about them shooting arrows… mommy says daddy shoots the biggest arrows……." Continued Rebecca.

"That’s real nice there little girl, but I think we’ll read the story." Interrupted Wilmington.

The two agents in the other room were not fairing much better. The children had become bored listening to tales of arrests and stake-outs. Vin had decided to get them involved in some other activities instead. Unfortunately Tony Black, resident motor mouth, had latched onto the immaculately groomed Standish, bombarding him with questions and stories. Ezra began to rub at the pain behind his eyes.

"Mr. Ezra do you have a headache?" asked Tony.

"No."

"Sure looks like you got a headache. My dad always rubs his hands on his eyes like that when he has a headache. He gets a headache when I ask him lots of questions. My grandma used to get headaches too whenever I came to visit. She died last year ….. she had a stroke. Hey, maybe you’re gonna have a stroke just like my grandma and die. She was old just like you."

"I’m not going to have a stroke, AND I’m not old."

"But Mr. Ezra…"

"I DON’T HAVE A HEADACHE!" Standish yelled.

Tony began to cry.

"Damn." Said Ezra. "Don’t cry."

"You… you… yelled at me." the boy sobbed.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell."

"You’re a …. a ….. mean man."

"What did you do?" asked Vin seeing the child crying.

"Me! I didn’t do anything. The child is like a broken record. It just goes on and on and on….. it never shuts up. These kids should come with an on/off button and operating instructions."

"Geesh Ezra… first you have two little girls thinkin’ you’re some sort of criminal and now you’ve scared a poor kid into crying. What’s the matter with you?"

Standish sighed. "Do you think they carry Valium or Prozac in their first aid kit?"

"You can’t take one of those, you’re on duty." Declared the sharpshooter.

"Oh.. it wasn’t for me Mr. Tanner. I was going to slip that little creature one."

"Ezra." Warned Tanner.

Just then a little girl wandered over to the sharpshooter. She looked up at him shyly as she tugged at his shirt sleeve. He pulled up a chair and sat down, now eye to eye with her.

"Well howdy Miss." Said Vin.

The little girl smiled and blushed at the handsome agent before her.

"What’s your name little lady?"

"Lynn." She whispered.

"That’s a pretty name for a pretty lady."

"Mr. Vin."

"Yes Lynn."

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

Tanner smiled warmly at the little girl. "Sure Lynn, I’d be honoured." With that the bright eyed child climbed into his lap and cuddled him.

"How did you do that?" asked an astonished Standish.

Vin flashed a stunning smile at his friend. "Well….. it aint got nuthin’ to do with Prozac." He winked. "Try being nice to them."

Taking a deep breath, the well dressed member of the team approached a group of children playing in the corner. "May I join you?" he asked.

"You aint gonna yell at us are ya?" Stan asked warily.

"No, I promise not to yell at you." He said looking back at Tanner. "Now, what are you playing?"

"Five card stud… deuces wild. First up bet five dollars or more. You in Mister?"

"Ah… finally my kind of child." He said. "I’m in…. oh, by the way do you children per chance get lunch money?"

Tuesday afternoon, 12.30 p.m.

The lunch bell rang signifying the end of the ordeal for the four men. They each said good bye to their group of children and headed for the cars.

"Well boys, that wasn’t so bad." Declared Wilmington wiping away pieces of jelly donut from his shirt.

"No, not bad at all considering the vile little creatures that they are." Agreed Standish as he thumbed through a roll of dollar notes.

"Where’d you get that Ezra?" asked J.D.

"Oh…. I brought my own …. lunch money." He smiled cheekily.

A little girl dressed in a mauve dress came running up to the BMW and pressed her face against the glass. Vin wound down the window and greeted his friend.

"Well hello again Miss Lynn." He said.

"I just wanted to say a special good bye to you Mr. Vin." She said quietly.

"Good bye sweet heart." Tanner whispered. "And don’t you forget, you’re my special girlfriend."

A huge smile lit up her face and she ran back to the school yard.

"Mr. Tanner, you must tell me how you do that….. someday…. When I have nothing better to do….. perhaps on my death bed." Said Ezra distractedly.

Wednesday morning, 8 a.m.

Six agents entered the Team 7 office. Inside Chris Larabee sat awaiting there arrival.

"Guys." He greeted them.

"Well howdy Chris." They answered all at once.

"We need to have a little ‘discussion’ about yesterdays school outing. Everybody, my office… NOW!" Larabee turned and stalked into his office.

The other men stared at one another, then sadly followed into the room.

"The Judge rang me last night, seems there was a little trouble at the school yesterday." He began.

"Trouble?" asked J.D. "I don’t think so."

The man in black sighed, ‘Alright’ he thought, ‘they’re not going to tell me unless I drag it out of them.’

"It seems that some of the parents rang the school yesterday complaining about the policemen that came and spoke to their children yesterday."

"But pard….." began Tanner.

Larabee held up his hand signalling to them all that he had not finished. Sighing heavily he continued, "Let me start at the beginning…. One little boy told his mother that you suggested that she try a…. let me read this to you ….. ‘new pencil if she wants to get pregnant.’ He paused, looking at each of the men.

"Uh… no Chris, that’s not what happened…..you see J.D. and I …….." started Wilmington.

"I don’t want to hear it." The black clad man groaned.

"Then there were the two little girls who became hysterical when they were told that …. Let me see… ‘the man driving the red car was a pimp and a drug dealer’." Larabee stared at Standish.

"Hey, don’t look at me, I didn’t say it!" protested Standish.

"Well, what about the complaint by some of the children that their lunch money was taken by one of you…… Ezra, you know anything about that?"

"Why of course not. I would never stoop so low as to steal from minors." Then whispering, he continued. "I won it fair and square."

Chris threw the papers containing the complaints in the air. "I give up. Can’t you lot even take care of tiny children?" he asked.

"Now hang on there pard," started Buck. "Those kids were…. Were like animals. Why, I’d sooner face a car load of armed felons than go back to that school. I tell ya stud, they even made me blush a time or two."

"Get out!" Chris said finally. "I don’t want to know anymore."

Josiah and Nathan laughed as they left the room. Buck, J.D. Vin and Ezra followed.

"Hey, J.D… you ever noticed how much Chris looks like that guy in Terminator?" asked Buck.

"Mmmmm….. now that you mention it, yeah, there is a resemblance…. although Chris does wear his pants tighter…. Why?"

"Oh… I was just thinkin’ if Chris ever met Daniel’s mother, he’d be screwed."

"Yeah" said Vin. "But what a way to go." All three men laughed as they resumed their normal ‘safe’ duties.

"