OBLITERATI

A game about the unspeakable horror of the literary life.

by

D. Marshall Burns

1. WHAT THE GAME IS ABOUT

All the players take on the roles of made-up famous novelists.  Let’s assume that all these novelists have been well-acquainted for about 10 years, and also that, when it comes to their art, they are talented, popular, and critically acclaimed.

            None of these novelists have finished a book in quite some time.  Why not?  Due to the unspeakable horror of the literary life, they have become too distracted.

            Since these novelists are talented, popular, and critically acclaimed, readers everywhere are champing at the bit for them to come out with a new book—but there’s not enough buzz to go around, and whoever gets a book out first will steal the others’ thunder and get all the glory.  Enter all manner of passive aggression, undercutting, sabotage, backstabbing, aggressive aggression, intrigue, and shaky alliances.

            Who can cut through the distraction, survive the warfare, and keep the others down long enough to get their book finished first?

2.  HOW THE GAME IS PLAYED

First, everyone creates their author.  Get a sheet of paper and write your author’s name at the top.  Underneath that, write “Unpleasant Traits.”  Leave five lines below that, then write “Pleasant Traits.”  Leave three lines below that, then write “Peculiar Trait.” Leave a line under that, then write “Book Points.”  Underneath that, write “Unbalancing Traits.”

You must give your author five Unpleasant Traits in the form of adjectives describing his character.  Select them from the list below and write them on your sheet.  You may declare one of them twice; such a trait will be deemed especially unpleasant and will count double.  You may add to the list if all players agree.

Next, give your author three Pleasant Traits from the list below and write them on your sheet.  Again, you may add to the list if all players agree.

Next, give your author one Peculiar Trait that you make up, then write it on your sheet.  This should be something very odd and specific.  Some examples:

Raises chinchillas

Incredibly androgynous

Crossword puzzle expert

Practicing occultist

Skilled with a bullwhip

Next, everyone should briefly describe their authors, and decide the other details about them.  Where do they live, how do they know each other, what is the name of the book they are writing, what were the names of some of their previous hits (and misses), that sort of thing.

Next, each author needs to get Unbalanced in some manner.  Take turns around the table; the person to your left describes some sort of Random Torment that intruded onto your author’s life and writing process, then asks you, “How does that make you feel?”  (They must pronounce the italics.  Chide them if they do not.)  You should reply, in-character (as your author), with some manner of adjective or descriptive phrase.  This is your very first Unbalancing Trait.  Write it on your sheet and put a hashmark by it.  As long as you have at least one Unbalancing Trait with at least one hashmark by it, your author is Unbalanced and unable to write due to the attendant frustrations and distractions.  There is one exception to his, and that is when you have an Unbalancing Trait with five hashmarks by it; in this case, you derive inspiration from the adversity and are able to write.

Once everyone has their first Unbalancing Trait, it is time for your first Gathering.  This is some manner of social event that all of the authors must attend.  It could be a party, a convention, a workshop, or anything else where they can all be gathered in the same place.  Taking turns around the table, everyone should describe some part of the scene, including what their author is currently doing.  Once that is done, it is time for the drama to begin.

You want to purge yourself of Unbalancing Traits so that you can finish your book, and you want to inflict them on the others so that they will be unable to finish their books.    Taking turns around the table, describe what your author is going to do to another author to get under his/her skin.  You want to do things that (A) utilize your Traits, (B) use your victims’ Traits against them, and (C) utilize the circumstances of the scene.  The player controlling the other author may attempt to thwart what you are trying to do, using the same sort of resources. 

You then arbitrate the result by rolling dice (six-siders).  For every Unpleasant or Unbalancing Trait you are using (your own or your opponent’s), you get one die; for every Pleasant Trait, two dice; for every Peculiar Trait, five dice; for using the circumstances of the scene, three dice (this is a one-time thing; you don’t get six dice for using two circumstances of the scene).  If an Unbalancing Trait is used, erase one of its hashmarks.  Once the dice are allotted, both players should roll.  For every die that comes up 4 or higher, you get a point.  The player with the most points wins, and his/her goal comes true.  The winner then asks the loser, “How does that make you feel?”  The response to that question should be written down as an Unbalancing Trait, with a number of hashmarks determined by the level of Escalation (see below).  If it matches an existing Unbalancing Trait, add the hashmarks to it.

The loser then has the choice of Retaliating, Backing Down, or Storming Off.  If you Retaliate, you must Escalate (see below).  If you Back Down, you may not act against the author you lost to for the remainder of the Gathering.  If you Storm Off, you leave the scene and do not participate in the rest of the Gathering.

If the dice are tied, neither goals come true.  The initiator of the conflict may then choose to either forfeit his/her turn or to Escalate (see below) and try again.

The levels of Escalation are:  Indirect Conflict (1 hashmark), Direct Conflict (2 hashmarks), and Causing a Scene (3 hashmarks).

The Gathering ends when either only one author is left (the others have all Stormed Off), the players all agree to end it, or someone Causes a Scene.  After the Gathering, the Day in the Life phase begins.

During the Day in the Life phase, take turns around the table.  When it is your turn, you may choose to Stay Home or to Pay a Visit to another author. 

If you Stay Home and have no Unbalancing Traits with 1 or more hashmarks or you have at least one Unbalancing Trait with 5 hashmarks, you get some work done on your book and gain one Book Point.  You must then face a Random Torment chosen by the player who is next in the rotation.  If you are unable to write, skip straight to the Random Torment.  The other player should choose a Random Torment that uses one or more of your Traits against you.  You should then describe how you will attempt to cope with it using one or more Traits.  You then roll dice, as in the conflicts at the Gathering.  If you win, you may erase a hashmark from one of your Unbalancing Traits.  If you lose, the other player asks you, “How does that make you feel?”  If you tie, neither happens.  After facing your Random Torment, your turn is over.

Paying a Visit to someone is good for an opportunity to inflict Unbalancing Traits and work out your own.  It works like a Gathering with fewer authors present.  You may Invite another author along with you, but if the invitation is accepted then that player must forfeit their next turn.

Once everyone has had or forfeited a Day in the Life turn, another Gathering happens.  After the Gathering, there is another Day in the Life phase with the rotation reversed (if you were going left around the table, now go right).  Repeat this cycle until someone attains 20 Book Points.  That player is then declared the winner.

Once you have a winner, you may begin the Epilogues.  In turn, describe a happy ending for your author involving as many of his/her Traits as you can.  The player next in rotation should describe an unhappy ending for your author, likewise using your author’s Traits.  Roll dice as in the conflicts to decide which one happens.  If your author completed his book, you gain five extra dice automatically for this purpose.

3.  WHAT’S SO HORRIFYING ABOUT THE LITERARY LIFE?