heart ash

felt so full of holes
that night
felt myself diffuse
and the light drain away
spilling around my ankles like
water
      or juice
    i was left a brittle shell
    a film of life hardened in shapes
    nothing left inside
    that i could bleed
    or lose
the world has already loosened it's caged hands over me it's bruised
mouth and quiet heart
      flickering like a street lamp
        pure and dirty
the actions are described
        the things you do you twist your
        hair you sleep so loudly
you are nothing but
specks of green in clear bird eyes
the hard line of a pursed mouth
and the soft sound
       of a prayer
    a noise that if it were made of wood
it'd have edges that were
    rough
    on one side
and soft
on the other