February 13th, 2003
My grandfather died this morning. I got a call from my mom, pretty
early in the morning, I was still in bed She said grandma couldn't wake
him up. She asked me to pray for the situation, which I did. When I got
off the phone with her, I couldn't go back to sleep. I thought to myself,
grandpa can't wake up, and I can't sleep. I did pray, but deep down, somehow,
I knew he had passed on. My brother called me about twenty minutes later, and
told me he had passed away. I asked if I should drive to South Bend. He said
that was up to me, so I decided to come.
I cancelled all my obligations and drove to South Bend, it was a sunny morning, and kind of warm. When I got there, my grandma and my dad and my aunt met me at door. Grandpa's body was still in his bed. I went into the room with my dad and my brother to say good bye. His remains seemed smaller and very still. I understood that his soul, his spirit, that which animate him, was no longer confined to his flesh. That separation seemed to make him seem smaller to me.
He died at home in his sleep right after his favorite basketball team, IU, won. The night before, he asked grandma to cook him a big breakfast. These are things that I was told. Later in the day, I did some investigation into the items in his room. I guess, I needed some way of finding my own connection to the event.
My brother and his wife and I were cleaning the house for grandma when I came accross the stereo next to his bed. The CD in the player was a collection of big band era hits. Some of the titles intruiged me because they had a loose connection with dying. "Take the A Train", "Flying Home", and "Until the Real Thing Comes Along"
I'm home now, I'll be going back to South Bend tommorow to spend the rest of the weekend and Monday with my family.
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