Peevy Says: Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer, then beat the hell out of them.
Peevy Says: Lay the toilet seat down, or your life is forfiet.
Peevy Says: The grass is always greener on the other side....... until fall rolls around.
Peevy Says: If you drank the water before they ask you if it is half empty or half full, you can reply, "either way it will turn up in the toilet.
Peevy Says: If you eat your dog, it will never run away.
Peevy Says: Marriage always, I mean always causes problems with dating.
Peevy Says: Join the army, travel to exotic lands, meet new and interesting people........ then kill them!
Peevy Says: If you do a so much, with so little, for a long time, you will eventually be able to do anything with nothing at all.
Peevy Says: Men don't think about sex a thousand times a day, we think about it once, as one continuous thought.
Peevy Says: If you dig a hole, then jump into it, you'll be a creepy person in a hole.
Peevy Says: Remember, Stupid is as stupid does, but stupid people never got a girlfriend.
Peevy Says: guns promote violence, but whoever heard of a thief that returned after being shot?
Peevy Says: Too much TV is bad for you, but so are all of those romance novels that give you false fantisies of your lover.
Peevy Says: Sex is not the most important part of a relationship, Getting off the bra is.
Peevy Says: If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day, if you teach a man to fish, you give him a low paying job the rest of his life.
Peevy Says: What goes around, comes around, so if your a loser, eventually sex will come around to you too. Don't Worry Kipper.
Peevy Says: You think a mirror is a reflection, but it is actually a gateway to another demention of which everything is different. So jump through it!
Peevy says: If you buy a box of candy, and share it with others, you are wasting candy which you payed for, and those others did not.
Peevy Says: If u sleep with dogs, you are not accepted in normal society.
Peevy Says: Time is just natures way to keep everything from happening at once
Peevy Says: To catch a rabbit, you must hide in the bushes and make carrot calls
Peevy Says: I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore, I am perfect!
Peevy Says: I FOUND JESUS!!! He was in my trunk when I came back from Tijiuana.
Peevy Says: Perserver the Spotted Owl!!!..... in formaldehyde.
Peevy Says: I still miss my ex...... but my aim is getting better!
Peevy Says: STOP THE SLAUGHTER!!!! BOYCOTT BABY OIL!!!!
Peevy Says: What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about?
Peevy Says: When things look dark, hold your head up high..... so that it can rain down your nose.
Peevy Says: Whatever hits the fan will not distribute evenly.
Peevy Says: It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others.
Peevy Says: Gargling twice a day is a good way to see if your throat leaks.
Peevy Says: People who say that you can't buy happiness, just don't know where to shop.
Peevy Says: Money does grow on trees, it's just that the bank owns all the branches.
Peevy Says: If we weren't meant to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?
Peevy Says: Don't get married! Find a woman you hate and buy her a house.
Peevy Says: They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Peevy Says: If your kids ask where all the money went, show them the video tapes.
Peevy Says: If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Peevy Says: Isn't having a smoking section in a resturaunt like having a peeing section in a pool?
Peevy says: Red meat is not bad for you.... Green meat is bad for you!
Peevy says: One good thing about Alzheimers is that you get to meet new people everyday.
Peevy Says: artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Peevy Says: Remember, first you piliage, then you burn.
Peevy Says: If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you even tried.
Peevy Says: If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
Peevy Says: I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
Peevy Says: The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population.
Peevy Says: Endless Love: Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis
Peevy Says: I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Peevy Says: I always wanted to be a procrastinator, I just never got around to it.
Peevy Says: In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.
I f you have a dirty house..........
if you want a girlfriend............
If you're hungry................