May 7 May 8 May 12 May 18 May 23 May 24
Monday I went to Pip's anime viewing party. From three until eleven I was watching anime. I'm surprised I have a brain still. Tomorrow is my b-day. I'll be 21 years old. Jeez, my mom's getting old.
I'm having a party Friday and I had Denise work her magic. I got her to send it down the vine that Phill is invited to my party. He accepted this invitation and now I freak out. Phill is cute, smart, strange, morbidly funny, and has very sexy body. What the hell am I going to do? I should have thought about that before I put Operation Horse in affect. (god I'm such a lame duck)
Yesterday, all my friends thru me a surprise party. It was so rocking!!I got Love Hina from Pip, Sonja bought me my death by choice, and Denise painted a kittie me.It's so cool! Denise also invited Phil too. Oh my god!!! That man is the best thing since sliced bread. He got me a card and he gave me something else too. We won't talk about that. (oooh look I've learned discression!)I ended up watching tv in bed with Phil most the night. Everyone was finding ways of keeping Dustin occupied. He realized that Phil and I were trying to hook up. So Dustin went into my room and was trying to cock block. Everybody ran in and made him leave my room with them. Aaahh, I have such wonderfull friends. Most of them are coming back over Friday.
Now I get to wait and see what happens between Phil and me. I hope we start dating. All I can do is be patient.
The usuals came back Friday. Mike and Corwin kept having strange Denise moments.
I had a great time with Phil once again, but I tend to get all weird afterwards. It sucks. I don't know what to do about him. I'll figure something out.
May13
How stupid was I to think that he wouldn't use me. This happens every time. I so tired of this bull. Ok, if what I'm thinking is true, he won't talk to me ever again. Or I could be wrong (not bloody likely) and he'll call me. (Which I know won't happen.)_AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm tired of being someone whore all the damn time. I just want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night I called my mom. She told me that she almost got married yesterday. She called it off at the last minute b/c he said something to remind her of my dad. Strange. I thought my mom couldn't shock me anymore.
Life sucks. Oh well. Phill and I will not be hooking up. I don't know what he wants, what he's doing, and I wonder if he even knows what he's doing. I'm out. I told Denise to give him a message for me. So I don't expect to hear from him ever again. I don't expect him to be brave and step up to the plate. I expect him to be a coward. In the end, it's only me.
The cat ate my watch band and my chips. Lovely. Oh and I've quit smoking.
Bills, tution, and not being able to buy what I need is stressing my out. If I don't get a job soon, I won't be able to do anything fun while I'm in Florida, and I won't be able to pay my tution. This will be my first time being a full-time student. I've got to get online and lood around to see if anyone's hiring. (could this suck anymore?)
Speaking of sucking, as expected, I haven't heard from Phill. That makes me so sad b/c I still like him more than I should. I really wish someone would pop up out of the blue and smack him in the head with a skillet.This person would say, "You acted like a dick, and she still tried to be with you. You basicly stood her up, didn't give any sort of an apology or explaination, made her get off the phone so you could got out with Chris, and she still didn't yell or cuss at you. She was quite polite to you. Never once did she make a big deal when any other girl would, stupid."
PING! The little man hit him on the head again b/c he deserved it.
I'm still not as angry as I should be, and I'm not going to fuss him out. What difference does that make?My throat will be sore, his ear will hurt, and I'll just be considered a bitch. Where does that get any of us? (Ooh, how do you like that? I've grown up quite a bit. Luck for him, eh?)I'll just leave well enough alone.