A Time For Silence

My younger adult life was lived with much noise and laughter, as I raised a large family. Oh yes, a young mother usually has great difficulty finding quiet time. I have known that God was guiding me year after year, in the midst of noise and commotion. However, I do believe that He speaks to me best when I am silent. This is because I listen best when my mind is quiet.

Quietness is hard to come by, for a mother raising children. There is always a place, however. I found that peace could be found in the shower, on the front porch, while vacuuming, (the children knew I couldn't hear them then) after the little ones have gone to sleep, or before they wake up. Quietness could be found when they fell asleep in the car while I was driving. It might take some real searching, but it can be found. Perhaps not a long period of time, but God can talk to us in a very little time.

It's not so very different from any other thing I really want to study, and learn - when I really wish to be tuned in to God's guidance and wisdom, I find a silent place with Him.

* ... learn in silence ... 1Ti 2:11b

* A time to keep silence ... Ecc 3:7b

There are times in life of silence that one would not choose, as well. God has brought me to quietness in ways I did not like. Times of sickness, for instance; and now, as an older mother, times of being unneeded. Turning to Him has been the best thing to do, in these silences. He will comfort and strengthen His beloved children, with His love and mercy.

I think the most time I have spent truly searching for His help, has been while deeply desiring to rid myself of personal wrongs. To get God's help in healing defects in my character. God can help us get rid of the things we cannot change in ourselves alone.

My mother taught me, while I was growing up, that we must "die to self". She taught me that the "old man in us" before we are saved, is selfish and foolish, and we must learn to follow Christ, and work on getting rid of the "old man in us". (Our ego, I think. Our sinful human nature.)

I never found out so deeply, what it truly meant, until the last eight years, while I have endured a very deep, emotional and physical need which has been unfulfilled. I suffered a great deal emotionally for seven years, then God showed me that I must give up my need altogether, and concentrate on what I do have. It took me months of praying and weeping, before He showed me HOW to give it up. Every time the need came to my mind, I would pray for Him to make me immune to that need. I prayed for Him to make it float away on the breeze, and be gone. He did!

I also was able to forgive the person who wounded me, the same way. Every time I remembered my hurt, I prayed to die to self - to make me immune to that hurt. I was truly able at last to forgive.

I've written a great deal on the subject of giving up my own unmet needs - dying to self - my deep desire clearly was not something that God intended to give me, at least at this time of my life. I raised my head and looked toward my Saviour, accepting His will, and praying to change my desire.

Praise God, it truly has worked! Now eight years into it, going on nine, I experience a holy kind of peace. I know He is pleased with me. My deepest desire now, is the thought of bringing joy to my Heavenly Father's heart.

If we were meeting a great king of the world, we would step forward quietly, with respect. When we talk to the King of Heaven, honor can best be given from a quiet heart.

* Be silent , O all flesh, before the LORD... Zec 2:13

So many things are most precious in quietness. A mother rocking her baby to sleep. The close communication between a husband and wife. Above all, the intimate relationship between God and His children.

* For thus saith the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel ... in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength Isa 30:15a,c

When my attention is completely focused on Christ, He fills me with such joy. A very holy joy. Richer and deeper than that of this world.

It is much to easy to forget to seek that quiet place. It's much too easy to let time slip past without paying heed to the great need in every Christian's heart, for communion with our Saviour. The longer we go, without that inner walk, the farther we stray away from the center of our spirit - Christ.

The last two stanzas of "I Was A Wandering Sheep" mean so much to me:

Jesus my Shepherd is:
’Twas He that loved my soul;
’Twas He that washed me in His blood,
’Twas He that made me whole.
’Twas He that sought the lost,
That found the wand’ring sheep,
’Twas He that brought me to the fold,
’Tis He that still doth keep.

No more a wandering sheep,
I love to be controlled;
I love my tender Shepherd’s voice,
I love the peaceful fold.
No more a wayward child,
I seek no more to roam;
I love my heavenly Father’s voice,
I love, I love His home!

Horatius Bonar (1808-1889)

Our hunger for Christ's companionship is very much like physical hunger. Hunger is a good thing. It is what keeps us from forgetting to eat. Spiritual hunger is the same. It is what keeps us from forgetting God.

But opening a refrigerator can be done in any kind of chaos. Countless times over decades, I cast my eyes to the sky, out a window, while rushing about, doing my work, caring for my children, and spoke to the Lord. I've eaten many meals on the run. But just as eating is more satisfying when done sitting down, in peace; so is listening for God's communication more satisfying when done in silence.

I have learned to make a point of paying attention to spiritual hunger. It is far more important than any other kind. I have learned to take that spiritual hunger into a silent place, to best seek out God's still, small voice. Human beings respond best to a soft answer. God uses that voice for very important reasons, and I want to hear it.

2006 Rosemary Gwaltney