Pantyhose Linked to Longevity. May Even Reduce Cancer Risk?

March 1, 2003

By
AP Medical Correspondent

NEW ENGLAND – A study published by the New England Journal of Medicine today touted some remarkable claims in life extension and cancer research.

Describing the discovery as "nothing short of a breakthrough", Dr. Brian Schiff took to the podium for yesterday's press release. "We may have a few doctors smirking now, but of most them have not yet seen the research."

Schiff explained that the research project has been on-going for the last 15 years, compiling data, reviewing medical records, and conducting case studies. "Our team includes some of the most respected medical professionals from around the world. -When we say this reseach is valid, we are staking our reputations on it".

The theory behind the study comes from a Johns Hopkins University study that found a correlation between telangiectasias (spider veins) and longevity. An ancient oriental cure was to bind the legs of the afflicted person. It not only aided, but often cured this malady. The side-effects of which were noted to be: reduced sicknesses, longevity and a recovery of strength.

"The trick to 'ancient leg binding' was not to bind the legs too tight", explained Schiff. "restiction of blood flow (arterial insufficiency) is not what is intended here. Systolic blood pressure in the two major arteries of the body has to be increased, but not restricted. Pantyhose seem to achieve this perfectly. The correct systolic blood pressure (systolic blood pressure is maximum pressure exerted when the heart contracts) forces the plaque build-up out of the heart and arteries harmlessly into the liver to be filtered. It also prevents cancerous cells from attaching themselves to the pulminary walls or other cells".

"We are talking about two major blood arteries (pathways) sped up by mild constriction, similiar to a garden hose when gently squeezed. The increased speed of the blood flow without constant calistentation (extreme excersize) not only improves the purifying process but also (in effect) 'wipes clean' the interior vascular (vein) linings". Dr. Schiff also noted that even patients with existing heart conditions due to plaque build-up in arteries -sinus and atrioventricular nodes, may benefit. "We're finding increasing proof that the use of a mild arterial restiction during sleep can actually increase health".

"Wether this study is embraced is not our goal. Our findings are clear and we will continue our research.".