About Me

Facts about where I live, what I do and where I have studied are irrelevant.... Below is a different sort of insight into who I am...

--- I ---

Want:
(In no particular order) Happiness for myself and those that I love, a secure career, a family of my own, a more stable and fulfilling social life, good times and simplicity, people to mean what they say and follow through on their promises, the video that Julie has been promising me for the past 10 years.

Have:
Everything I need to live on, a man that I love to pieces and who returns those feelings, wonderful, beautiful, caring friends, a high social requirement.

Wish:
I had more balance in my life, I could sing well, that people would feel more positive about themselves and have confidence in their actions and thoughts, that people (including myself) wouldn’t take so many things for granted in their lives, that all my friends find happiness in themselves and that this carries through their entire lives, that money didn’t have so much value placed on it in our society to enable it to ruin and rule the lives of so many people. I wish thay people could be more accepting to others and embrace them for their true selves rather than make shallow judgements, that I had more courage to stand up to people, that I could open myself more to others and not worry so much about negative consequences, that I could stop worrying about stupid insignificant things and about things that I have no control over, that I wasn’t so indecisive, that I had more self will, self control and determination to achieve the things that I want, that I knew exactly what to say or do to help the people I love when I see them in need.

Crave:
Happiness, socialisation, the high that partying brings, affection.

Regret:
My 19th birthday. I’m sure there are other things, but I try to convince myself I don’t regret anything because all that I have done has made me the person I am now.

Love:
Music, photos as they help to keep memories alive, people who lift others up, provide support and are there when needed most, who help others to appreciate, love and feel positive about themselves and the contributions they make to the world and to other peoples lives, my pets, my first car - a 1976 Leyland Mini Sedan, my friends and that they all contribute to making me the person who I am today, my family - even though I may not show it very often, partying and socialising with great friends, communication, the feeling of experiencing new things, feeling that I have achieved something, pushing the limits and shocking people, breaking down preconceptions that others have about me.

Hate:
Inconsiderate, selfish, close minded people, eating in front of the television, people who try to control others, people who take others for granted and manipulate and use them, feeling I cannot make my own decisions when they are taken away from me, people who steal, cheat, lie and feel no remorse for their actions, eating disorders and the way they destroy the lives of people, depression, murder, that people are too concerned helping people around the world that they forget about the needy people that stare them in the face everyday (homeless people, students and families living on the poverty line, people with depression or other conditions that are at risk of harming themselves or others), politicians and governments, hypocracy, people who don’t follow through on their promises. People cracking their bones.

Miss:
Feeling young and free like I did in uni, having my best friend living in the same town so I can pour my heart out at any hour, old times I had with friends, having no responsibilities or worries, working on radio and having a positive outlet for my emotions, my bike.

Fear:
Being abused, being helpless and powerless, failure, being totally alone, dying and not being remembered, not achieving everything I want to before I die, being hurt by people I love, hurting people I love, good things coming to an end before I’ve come to accept this happening, rejection, being emotionally or physically vunerable.

See:
Very differently to other people. I call it logic I don’t know what everyone else calls it, but I sure know it is lacking substantially in our society. I see what I want to see in every situation. Sometimes I also see the things I don’t want to see, but these are times that build character and understanding of the world around me and help to open my eyes and develop greater appreciation for others.

Hear:
What I want to hear!

Search For:
Sanity, life balance, sense of belonging, true happiness and acceptance of myself and those who I love, lip balm as I’m always losing it, the next crazy thing that will provide me with happiness, information, a waterproof mascara that really is waterproof.

Wonder:
Where the logic is in the world, why we feel we have to conform to other people's values, why I think heaps but rarely do, how people can do awful things and not feel remorse for their actions, why we are governed by fools, why there has to be so much pain and suffering in the world, how to make the perfect pancake, where I’ll be in 10 years and if I’ll be happy, if my dream of travelling around Australia on a home-bus will come true, if I’ll have kids and whether I’ll be able to do so in the first place, if I’ll be able to find a job that I want and which will make me happy in my chosen career, if I’ll be able to cope with the awful things that are bound to happen in my life... the list goes on.

Hope:
That the people I have hurt in my life can forgive me, that I find true happiness one day if only for a moment... or two... or hopefully three billion moments, that my friends and family find true happiness in every moment of every day, that I don’t confuse people too much, that I don’t push people away forever, that people accept me for who I am and can accept my decisions and choices in life - even if they don’t necessarily agree with them, that people can understand the way I feel about them through my actions when I can't explicitly tell them so, that I find more direction in my career and find a job that gives me a sense of beloning and satisfaction, that I never become totally dependent on anyone else, and can retain my independence and identity throughout my entire life.