(instrumental)

For Other Eyes

I don't know what I would do If this letter should fall into Other hands than it should pass through For other eyes

He said, "It was nothing...it's over and done" But the rotten worm was burrowing still Its spirit invades me bleeding me white For other replies I searched his pockets I searched his eyes I searched his wallet for clues and lies And I found a number that I somehow dialed A woman answered, a woman smiled Then she hung up on the silence unperplexed Innocently spun her rolodex I dialed again I could not resist Revealing just the dentist receptionist

One day we'll laugh about it or maybe we'll curse But there is one thing that is making it worse And it's the lack of forgiveness that I can't disguise No matter how well he lies Now we don't know each other anymore And when we touch our lips feel sore I question the longing left in his sighs For other eyes

Swine

You're a swine and I'm saying that's an insult to the pig In the foul furrow that you dig Why don't you lay your head down In that unconsecrated ground WAS she your MOTHER? Or WAS she your bride To defile and to blister To gnaw at her side Is this the end of the world? Now that you've finished your life This RIDDLE is the work of my little pen-knife

Expert Rites

I marvel at the wonder of it in our souless age Fast flow the tears upon the page Don't be alarmed I am her friend Will I be excused if I presume It's more than disappointment that we share You share the same sorry life, the families fight, that unhappy blade you both invite This romantic ideal has a lonely appeal I once loved someone the way that you do But I had to let her go I live with my regret Don't despair my would-be Juliet

Dead Letter

(instrumental)

I Almost Had A Weakness

Thank you for the flowers I threw them on the fire And I burned the photographs that you had enclosed GOD they were ugly children So you're the little bastard of that brother of mine Trying to trick a poor old woman 'Til I almost had a weakness

Last week Cousin Florence Bit your Uncle Joe Hit him on the forehead with a knife and a fork (She) said that he looked like the devil Then she said... "pass the vinegar," I'm beginning to think (That) I'm the only one who hasn't taken to the drinking of it Though I almost had a weakness

It pains me to mention These delicate concerns While I have to tolerate you family jewels I really mustn't grumble ('Cause) when I die the cats and dogs will jump up and down And you little swines will get nothing Though I almost had a weakness

Why?

Why is Daddy not here? Are you crying? Why? Does he still love me? Will you take care of me? If you both love me so Why don't you love each other Mummy's gone missing Daddy's on fire
Daddy's on fire
Daddy's on fire

Who Do You Think You Are?

The hunted look, the haunted grace The empty laugh that you cultivate You fall into that false embrace And kiss the air about her face Who do you think you are?

The tres bon mots you almost quote from your QUIVER of literary darts A thousand or so tuneless violins thrilling your cheap little heart Who do you think you are?

My cigarette burns right down to the ash, my coffee cup is unstained The waiter hovers close at hand His courtesy strained

Who do you think you are? I close with my regards Well I'm the red-face gentleman Caught in this picture postcard Who do you think you are?

Trying my best to make the best of your absence Though the joke gets tired and sordid Sea-shell hearts get trampled under foot Punchlines unrewarded

But even at this distance it's not easy to accept The vision that I chase returns when I least expect it I've fallen from your tired embrace I kiss the air around the place that should be your face.

Taking My Life In Your Hands

My dear impulsive darling I suspect my letter got to you too late And it's really just a silly fragment of paper But it means so much to those who wait All the suffering days and nights 'til I dare dream again There you suddenly stand and I'll be damned if you didn't disappear with the dawn

Chorus: Hours pass and darkness comes Soon I will close my eyes Will you return if you don't reply You'll be taking my life in your hands You'll be taking my life in your hands Taking my life in your hands

I don't know why my dearest darling I can't tell you how I feel when you are near When I see you have returned my letters unopened I will tear them up, your voice ringing in my ears But you're kidding yourself if you think this correspondence will end I can always pretend words I don't have the courage to send Reach you

Repeat chorus

This Offer Is Unrepeatable

DON'T SEND ANY MONEY! Fate has no price Ignore at your peril this splendid advice An invaluable link in an infinite chain An offer like this will just not come again

You wish you had women to charm and bewitch Power of life and death over the rich young girls will be swooning Because you're exciting them And not only fall at your feet but be biting them

Guaranteed, guaranteed to capture your breath Or just possibly scare you to death

Sign it and seal it and send it to friends But don't mention my name Don't make any long term plans

In thirty-six hours your fortunes will change Your best friends won't know you And neither will strangers Do not keep this letter It must leave your hand You have been selected from over five thousand

A twister or dupe will bamboozle or hoodwink you I can't say more it would only confuse you The wine that they offer will go to your head And you'll start to see double in fishes and bread

Guaranteed, guaranteed for a lifetime or more Guaranteed, for this world and the next Guaranteed, guaranteed for the world and its mother Cherish this life as you don't get another one

UNLESS you should take up this fabulous offer Don't leave it too late or you'll be bound to suffer And woebetide anyone so woebegone You won't know you're born or about to pass on

You'll never get tired You'll never get bored By the way I just hope you're insured

And if you're not satisfied If you want more We can always provide an improved overture Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable This offer is unrepeatable

Your trouble will vanish Your tears will dry Your blessing will just multiply Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable This offer is unrepeatable

Guaranteed, guaranteed to bring fortune and favor In a riot of colours, (a variety of) and flavours Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable This offer is unrepeatable

Would I lie to you? Would I sell you a dud? Just sign on the line. Could you possibly write it in blood?

Dear Sweet Filthy World

Dear sweet filthy world, my wife or whoever reads this I think that I've lived too long With all of my promise unfulfilled But there is a veil drawn over all of that

I know you'll probably say, "Spare us the melodrama" "I don't know how he chose the pills or the stupid revolver" I'm out of luck I'm not that strong My hands, your neck I might have wrung

Don't try to find me I'm not worth anything anymore I am not leaving you with all of your problems The biggest one is me

Life is dark Cold as the sea Embrace me in my anguish Put seaweed in my hair and vow that you won't cry because I've gone I can't go on, I can't go on, I can't go on I must close now

The Letter Home

c/0 St. Ignatus House, Willoughby Drive, Parrametta, New South Wales This fifth day of July, in the year of Our Lord nineteen hundred and thirty five

Why must I apologize every time that I sit down to write Through my own fault I may find You're no longer living at this address Please excuse the lack of news The feeling of strange privilege for the hour of trial, in these times of distress Mean more than years imprisoned by etiquette.

I can remember when we were children Though I could never imagine this day Your brother told me we'd live forever "I'll go one better," I heard myself say And it seems so strange, now that he's gone to recall all these games While the years have divided us Friendships have strained and broken

Oh, by the way, how's that girl that you wed I hated you then, but I'm over the worst of it I can't come home, I might as well say, life is short I shall not write again

Jacksons, Monk and Rowe

Sister 4 and Brothers 3 Hanging off the family tree Practising for getting old Do you want your fortune told They're looking for you high and low Now there's nowhere for you to go So you'll just have to come out and face the music Jacksons, Monk and Rowe

Long ago when we were kids and we cut your hair to bits As we carried off like spoils the heads we'd smash right off your dolls But the wind is changing you know Are you sure of your friends and your foe Have you got what it takes to carry it off Jacksons, Monk and Rowe

As the sun beats down and life begins to complicate Will we both incinerate If we touch that brass name-plate

Messrs. All, noble Sirs Highly paid solicitors Find enclosed my signed divorce Sad proceedings you endorse The burden of pity will show In the people we used to know Have you got enough strength to carry it off Jacksons, Monk and Rowe

This Sad Burlesque

I write in hopes that by the time you get this letter We may live to see a change for the better Or are we so devoted to these wretched selfish motives When the cold facts and figures all add up They cannot contradict this sad burlesque

This sad burlesque With miserable failures making entertainment of our fate Laughter cannot dignify of elevate This sad burlesque

Now can they recall being young and idealistic Before wading knee-deep in hogwash and arithmetic The pitying smirk The argument runs like clockwork Will run down eventually and splutter to a stop

P.S. Well by now you know the worst of it And we've heard all the alibis that they've rehearsed The smug predictions If it's not a contradiction Keep faith in human nature And have mercy on the creatures in this sad burlesque

Romeo's Seance

Is anyone there I can talk to? Give us a sign if you're with me CAN'T you see that I'm dying to hear you

EVERYONE ELSE HAS LOST INTEREST AND I'M ALL ALONE IN THIS DREAM HOUSE Though you're gone I don't feel like crying Romeo is calling you

Knock once or twice if you're out there Send me a message my sweetheart When I'm out and about I'll be coming to see you

IT ISN'T EASY TO LIVE WITH THIS MATRONLY FACE AT THE WINDOW Try to contact me, if you can see how I'm suffering Romeo is calling you

Scatter the paper and thimbles You can take care of the candles An unplugged radio plays. She is close NOW Me and my hand-holding baby walking the floor and the ceiling THIS IS the song SHE dictated this evening. Romeo is calling you ROMEO IS CALLING YOU

I Thought I'd Write to Juliet

I thought I'd write to Juliet, for she would understand And when someone is already dead they can no longer let you down Instead I find myself talking to you, as my oldest friend Tell me how I can advise someone, that I don't even know, To welcome death

For I received a letter that is worth reporting And though it may raise a cynical smile It leaves a sinking feeling Like when a soldier in a story says to the sergeant... "Have you seen my pride and joy?..." You know the rest...and it's no joke...Forgive me please as I quote... "This is a letter of thanks, as I'm so bored here in I can't say where. So I'm writing to people that I may never meet And I was thinking if something you said..."

"I'm a female soldier, my name is Constance. I enlisted in the military needing funds for college I'm twenty-three years old and if I do get home alive I imagine I may think again..."

"I'm sleeping with my eyes open for fear of attack Your words are a comfort, they're the best thing that I have Apart from family pictures and, of course, my gas mask I don't know why I am writing to you"

Last Post

(instrumental)

The First to Leave

I should open with a kiss For if you're reading this You must have opened up your case And found this letter where I placed it In between the silk and lace There were other clues, like your walking shoes But I still refused to believe That you were meant to be the first to leave

Everybody here sends you their love How can I forget you still walk above Or below Perhaps you'll never know this purgatory We never could agree There's a thought, there's a pause No time to repent Eternally yours In a permanent lent

But if I should give you up If you're right and life just stops And I never see your face again Then from unearthly pleasures, proud and plain I shall abstain

Until you realise, my loss is your surprise Unless you know otherwise Then don't grieve You see I had to be the first to leave

Damnation's Cellar

Did anybody notice, over marmalade and eggs In between the Princess' legs What with wars and floods and beggars Not to mention stocks and shares If you have a moment to spare Can you write and reassure me that I have seen They're constructing a time machine There will be no need for the obituary pages We can have any hero from the bygone ages 'Til the truth emerges, the argument rages

Chorus: The major and the minor Turn from tallow into tar Should we leave them in their place? Down in damnation's cellar

When any form of deity that you might enjoy Can be conjured with a test-tube and a flame If it's out there then science can explain it Or at least remove the blame And if theres is anyone you'd like to see again The speak up quickly

Send us back Da Vinci then we don't have to ponder The maddening smile of "La Giaconda" The critics say Nijinsky, the dancer, of course While the punters would probably prefer the horse You'll find it's quicker than history, cheaper than divorce

Chorus

Bring back Liberace or Ollie and Stan Shakespeare will have to wait his turn Elvis Presley and Puccini shall return I suppose we live and learn, though it's hard to believe as we cheerfully burn It's curious Some will call for justice. There are murders to solve What about Hitler? Or at least Lee Harvey Oswald Give us this day and everything we squander Anyone beautiful Somebody blonder They'll never please mankind, so lie back and enjoy it Stop press: They've just decided to destroy it

Chorus

The Birds Will Still Be Singing

Summertime withers as the sun descends He wants to kiss you. Will you condescend? Before you wake and find a chill within your bones Under a fine canopy of lover's dust and humourous bones Banish all dismay Extinguish every sorrow Eternity stinks, my darling. That's no joke Don't waste your precious time pretending you're heartbroken There will be tears and candles Pretty words to say Spare me lily-white lillies With the awful perfume of decay Banish all dismay Extinguish every sorrow If I'm lost or I'm forgiven The birds will still be singing

It's so hard to tear myself away Even when you know it's over It's too much to say. Banish all dismay Extinguish every sorrow If I'm lost or I'm forgiven The birds will still be singing