Who is Sun Bonnet Sue? 

I'm going to tell you all about me.

I was born a coal miner's daughter. Really. It happened just after World War II ended. My parents, Ernest and Ellen Parker, lived in a little coal mining camp in Bell County, Kentucky. We were as poor as Job's Turkey and didn't know it because everyone else was, too. They named me Carolyn Sue, but nobody who knows me ever calls me Carolyn. That is the way I could always tell when I was in trouble (and I was in trouble a lot). My mom would yell, "Carolyn Sue!" in a tone only a mother could use. Below are pictures of me at age 2 and age 6.

My growing up years weren't all that happy. Before I reached my teen years I was already showing signs of Major Depression, a genetic malfunction of the brain. As an adult now, I can understand what was going on around me, but it still left invisible scars that will probably never heal. Home was not a happy place. I would rather have been anywhere else. Of course, back them nobody admitted to emotional problems My mom's problems weren't diagnosed until she was over 70 years old. Manic Depressive Disorder or Bi-polar Disorder. All the mood swings, hearing voices, hallucinations, and imagined wrong doings of her children were a part of her lifestyle. Not by choice, but by inherited genetics.

By age 15 I was feeling alone, unwanted and unloved. After a situation occurred as a result of my mother's actions, I was desperate. The result was my first attempt at suicide. The pills I swallowed didn't end my life. They just made me very sick. Nobody ever knew what really happened, but Mom's suspicions proved to be untrue a few days later. I seriously doubt if I would have received medical attention even if the truth was known. You just didn't admit to things like that. People would think you were "crazy."

Being a finicky eater, and not having much to chose from, left me skinny. The picture below shows me at 15 - a size 5 who had to wear mostly what some one gave me that was too large. That helped my self-confidence a lot.  NOT.

I f you have visited the page I did for my husband, Ray, you will know I got married at 18 - just out of high school. By the time I was 21 I had two little girls whom I loved with all I had. By age 26 we added two boys for me to dote on. Look carefully, you can see my size go to 9 and then 12. Besides bearing four children, I was eating regularly.

            For 19 years I had avoided desperation.  Oh, I had some bad times, but usually my deep commitment to my children keep me going. Finally, at age 34 I saw my life crumbling before me. I no longer had a will to live, but Ray was there and took me to the hospital. Diagnosis: Recurring Major Depression. Treatment: Counseling and medication. No, the problem wasn't solved, but at least I had an understanding of what was going on. It was so much more than being sad and feeling sorry for myself. My depression was caused by a chemical imbalance in my brain. It would never go away. My children would probably inherit it just as I had. Medication will be a part of my everyday existence for as long as I live.

          Only once did the depression cause me to lose weight.  I got back down to a size 9.  It wasn't long, though before those size 12's began to shrink. Seems every time I put them on they got smaller and smaller. (smile) The following picture is me 2 years ago. Never mind my size. I am a young, beautiful, slim, sexy woman trapped in this old, ugly, fat, undesirable body!!! By the way, this is my driver's license picture. You know I look better than that!!!!  

                S ince then I have added high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes to my health concerns and gray hair to my head.  I am working on all three. My blood pressure is now normal. My diabetes is almost under control with diet and exercise. (I've lost 20 pounds is less than two months!! Be sure to visit my "Type 2 Diabetes" and "Healthy Recipes"pages.) Miss Clairol is my best friend. When I get it all together I will post another picture of the "new", old me.

          And yes, I am a Christian. I accepted the LORD at age 12. Major depression is a disease just like cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes. All need medical attention. It is not a "nobody likes me, everybody hates me" situation you can shake, no matter how hard you pray. Believe me. I prayed for years to be cured. I still pray for the strength to make it every day. I would be blessed if you would pray for me, also. God bless you.

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