A CRAZY FLATLANDER
BY THE FLATLANDER a. k. a. DANIELLE DUCREST
Disclaimer: Highlander belongs to Rysher Entertainment, Davis/Panzer Productions, and Gaumont Television. Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Marti Noxon, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Television, and Twentieth Century Fox Productions. No copyright infringements were intended. This story was written for entertainment and not for profit.
Summary: A conversation between two of doctors during the Flatlander’s visit to the insane asylum.
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The scientist stared at the young woman on the other side of the window. The subject sat on a couch watching television and eating popcorn at the same time.
Another scientist entered his little observation room and stepped up next to him. He looked at the subject and his mouth fell open. "Is that the seventh time she's watched 'The Inniative?'"
The first scientist nodded. "Yes, she claims it's her favorite Buffy episode. Well, one of them anyway."
"What are her other favorites?"
"Well, from the fourth season, they include 'The I In Team,' 'The Yoko Factor,' 'Primeval,' 'Hush,' and 'Restless.'"
"Doesn't she know that Riley and the Inniative are very unpopular?" the second scientist asked.
"Well, when I tried to bring it up she threatened me with her eleventh century hand-and-a-half broadsword."
"Her what?"
"Her broadsword," the first scientist answered, pointing at a long, thin object in the far corner. There, a sword in a scabbard leaned against the wall.
The second scientist's mouth dropped even further. "You didn't confiscate her weapon?"
"We couldn't. She fought us with Buffy-style techniques."
The second scientist scratched his head. "If she's such a big fan of Buffy, why does she have a sword?"
"Oh, that's because she's a big Highlander fan, too."
"What's Highlander?"
"It's a show about an immortal who was originally from the highlands of Scotland. The only way his kind can die is through beheading, hince the sword. She's such a big fan that she insists on being called the Flatlander."
"Why Flatlander?"
"Because the place she was born in, Louisiana, USA, is very flat. Also, if you stick around long enough, she'll start talking about Highlander. It's quite interesting, actually."
The scientist glanced back at the girl as she laughed at one of Riley's jokes. He shook his head. "The subject is quite insane." He turned and left the room.
The first scientist watched him leave, then shrugged. He didn't know why the other scientist would say that. He turned back to the tv screen. Then he laughed with Flatlander when Riley said something else.
THE END
