Disclaimers: Stargate SG-1 belongs to Double Secret Productions, Gekko Corp., MGM, and the Sci-Fi Channel. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine belongs to the Roddenberry Foundation and Paramount Pictures. Any copyright infringements were not intended. This story was written for entertainment and not for profit.

Spoilers and Timing: Takes place in season seven of Stargate SG-1 with loose spoilers for "The Fifth Race" and "Abyss".

Summary: Hmm, methinks it has been far too long since I last published a fanfic on the internet. This ought to cure that... Oh, you wanted a real summary? Alright, alright: Jack and Daniel get stranded in a place they've never been before, and they're not happy about it.

*****

"Hmm hmm huh humm hmmmmmmmmmmmm!"

"Jack, could you hum a little softer? We don't want to offend the spirits, remember?"

"Daniel. There is nothing here. There are no spirits. There are no natives. There are no animals or foliage. In fact, there aren't even any trees. Not a single tree in any direction! Not one damn tree for once. I would find myself feeling overjoyed by that fact, if it wasn't for one insy winsy little detail that may have escaped your notice."

"J-ack..."

"Are we in a desert? No. Are we in a prairie? No. Are we on a rock face? No. Are we even sitting on dirt? No!"

"Jack!"

"Daniel! Perhaps you haven't noticed our current predicament. Let me spell it out for you. We. Are. Floating. Around. In. NOTHING!"

"I did notice that, yes."

"Nothing, do you hear me? There is no ground. There is no sky. We're not even in our own universe anymore. We're seemingly floating around over what could be the Care Bear land on a foggy day for all we know. We're surrounded on all sides by pink, fluffy stuff! And did I forget to mention the part where we're floating?"

"I know, okay? We're lost. I messed up. Are you happy?"

"Yes, Daniel, I'm overwhelmed with joy that you've finally admitted that you've made a mistake."

"Well, it's not like I meant to send us here, wherever here is. All I did was read the stupid inscription-"

"Ah-ha! You admit that the inscription was stupid! Told ya!"

"Arr...All I did was read the inscription on the side of the temple wall, and then suddenly, we're here, in the alleged home of the Prophets."

"So, how do we get out of here?"

"I don't know! Maybe the Prophets or whoever they are will show up and help us out."

"For crying out loud, Daniel, if they are here, they've ignored us thus far, so, obviously, that's not going to work."

"Well, what would you suggest, Jack? As you so kindly pointed out the obvious, there's nowhere to go. There's no Stargate, no walls or shields to try to get through like usual. Unless Sam and Teal'c find a way of getting us back, we can't do a thing!"

"Well, then, it looks like we're screwed!"

"Yeah, well, I guess we are!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"ARH! Damnit, Jack!"

"What, Daniel? What is it now?"

"Forget it. Just, forget it."

"Fine, I will."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"It's not like you even care, is it..."

"Um, Daniel..."

"Blaming everything on me as if it's always my fault. As if you never get into any trouble. Ancient Database, anyone?"

"Dan-iel..."

"Getting kidnapped by Ba'al after you were blended because you were stupid enough to attempt a rescue mission all by yourself-sorry, yourselves..."

"Daniel!"

"What?...Oh."

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

"You expect me to know?"

"J-ack..."

"Fine! It looks like a double-funneled twister, Toto. And, of course, it's headed this way. Think this could be one of your Prophets, or is it the Bad Witch coming to take us away?"

"Um...I'm thinking it's not a good thing, whatever it is. Also, I think you need to drop the Wizard of Oz metaphors, 'cause I don't like the idea of being a mop of fur...Dorothy."

"Oh, you could easily pull it off, space monkey... If I only still had my zat..."

"I don't know if a zat would work on that. It looks like it's composed of energy..."

"It's almost on us. Brace for impact, Daniel."

"Gahh...!"

"Gah...!"

"Okay, that was weird."

"Ya think?"

"Jack?"

"Daniel?"

"Can you see anything?"

"Nope. But I'm pretty sure I feel something hard under my feet. How about you?"

"Yeah, me too. Sam? Teal'c? Are you there?"

"Carter? Teal'c?"

"Wait a minute...my eyesight's coming back. Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh? Daniel, define 'uh-oh'."

"Um...you aren't going to believe this."

"Daniel..."

"Jack..."

"Daniel! Are we back on Y2K-911?"

"It's PKY-919, Jack, and no."

"Then where are we? Wait a minute...my eyesight's coming back, too...aw, crap."

"Yep."

"We're in a docking bay."

"Looks like."

"Full of alien crafts that look way too familiar."

"Yep."

"And there's a plaque on the wall that says...Aw, crap!"

"Uh-huh."

"We're on Deep Space Nine?"

"Looks like the Prophets are the same Prophets that were on the show...and when they realized we were stranded in their wormhole, they sent us out of it to the station."

"Aw, crap!"

"Well, at least no one saw us arrive."

"Or not, considering that an alarm just went off."

"Yeah."

"Your carelessness has landed us in a real-life Star Trek universe. Thanks, Danny."

"Yeah, blame me. It's all my fault. I'm not the one who's a Star Trek nut."

"Hey! I am not a Star Trek nut!"

"Oh, please, Jack. You are such a Trekkie."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Trekkie!"

"All right, that does it. I am going to let you have it, space monkey. You are going to wish I still had my zat!"

"Uh...Jack? Look, I didn't mean it...oh, crap..."

*****

Will Odo and his security team arrive in time, or will SG-1 be short a team member? If they arrive in time, will the crew of Deep Space Nine find a way to send them back, or will the lack of new Simpsons episodes drive Jack insane first? Do the Care Bears live in the wormhole? Who knows?

I swear I had an idea for a sequel. I even started writing it. Then I decided there was no point. This story is good on its own and the sequel wasn't all that stellar. I apologize to everyone who was waiting for the sequel, and please refrain from throwing the tomatoes until after I've ducked behind cover, 'kay? I know there are a number of other stories of mine that are WIP's (Jack O'Neill and the Curse of the Salamander, Portals and People, Immortal Life #7: Bonds), and I swear I haven't given up on those. They just aren't going anywhere. Writer's Block is annoying, but unfortunately I run into it often.