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MARIA THE CORRUPTER

DANIELL FRANCES DUCREST

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon, Marti Noxon, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, Twentieth Century Fox Productions, and UPN. Any copyright infringements were not intended. This story was written for entertainment and not for profit.

Summary: I had a really strange dream last night…

Buffy and Riley were surrounded. Their vampire attackers had blocked off any route of escape quickly and effectively.

"Die," one vamp said.

"No," Buffy told him.

"Oh…then, then um…"

A tall vamp knocked him on the side of the head. "Shut up, Marmaduke!"

"Hey, leave him alone!" a female vamp exclaimed.

"No," the tall vamp replied.

The female vampire launched at him and knocked him on his back. The other vampires attacked her and her boyfriend helped.

Buffy and Riley just stared at them.

"This is…different," Riley commented.

Buffy put her stake away and turned. "Let's go."

"They're getting away!" one of the vampires exclaimed.

"So?" Another asked.

"Well…maybe we should go after them."

"Good idea."

Buffy groaned. She and Riley turned to face the oncoming vamps.

They dusted most of them, but the tall vampire grabbed Riley's arms. He tried to get out of his grip, but the vamp was just too strong.

Buffy dusted a vamp and saw him. "Riley!" She ran over.

The vampire saw her approach. He smirked and reached up with one hand to grab Riley by the neck.

"No! Get your hands off him!"

She was too late. She watched helplessly while the vampire twisted Riley's-

"You've gotta be kidding me," Riley told me. I looked up from the computer I was typing at and gave him an exasperated look. "I can't die! Buffy would be devastated."

"Oh, stop complaining," I told him. "It's for my 700 posts thread. A lot of the posters don't like you that much, so I decided to write this. I don't really want you to die."

"I never would have guessed," he retorted. I just glared at him.

"Don't worry. Next time I'll bring you back to life or something."

"You're going to wait that long to do it?"

"Aren't you supposed to be in South America anyway?"

"I had to come back to the states. There are just too many fan fiction stories out there that are about my death. Isn't there anyone out there that likes me?"

"Well, the way you're acting I wouldn't be surprised if no one likes you."

I turned my attention back to the screen and started typing more of the story. Suddenly, the screen went black.

"What the-?" Riley asked.

"You're asking me?"

White letters filled the screen, although neither of us typed anything. It said: HELLO.

"Great," I said. "It's Molloch."

"The internet demon? You didn't scan any old books into the computer recently, did you?"

"I don't have a scanner."

More letters appeared on the screen. I'M NOT MOLLOCH. I'M HIS SISTER, MARIA.

"Maria?"

YEP.

"You're not going to do the same things Molloch did, are you? 'Cause I was hoping I could take a nap after I finished writing the story for my thread."

I'M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING REALLY EVIL. I'M ACTUALLY PLANNING ON OPENING A COMPANY.

"What kind of company?" Riley asked.

ONE THAT MAKES THOUSANDS OF ENERGIZER RABBITS. AND I THOUGHT I'D MAKE COFFEE MAKERS THAT THINK SO I COULD TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

"More energizer bunnies? Okay, that's just evil." I told Maria.

"Coffee makers that think aren't a good thing, either," Riley put in. "Although I'm not sure if that part would work."

OF COURSE IT WILL! THIS IS A DREAM, AFTER ALL.

"A dream? You mean I really don't have 700 posts?"

I DON'T KNOW. WHY DON'T YOU WAKE UP AND FIND OUT?

"Good idea," I said.

I started to regain consciousness. In the distance, I heard Maria's voice, even though I couldn't hear her before, exclaim, "WAIT! I MEANT AFTER I TOOK OVER THE WORLD! AH, SHUCKS."

When I opened my eyes, I found my head resting on my keyboard. Groggily, I picked my head up and glanced at my screen. The story I was writing was on it. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

I looked around but Riley wasn't anywhere to be seen, either. I stiffled a yawn. "I think I'll go back to sleep," I said out loud. I got into bed and turned my back to the computer.

Unnoticed, my computer screen went black again, and big white letters filled the screen.

HA HA HA! I FOOLED HER! YES! THINKING COFFEE MAKERS ARE ALREADY BEING SENT TO HOMES ACROSS THE GLOBE! AND THE ENERGIZER BUNNIES WILL BE MY ARMY OF KILLER RABBITS! THEY'LL KEEP GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND NOTHING WILL STOP THEM! HA HA HA!

Remembering that I left the computer on, I groaned, got up out of bed, and walked over to the computer. I quickly switched it off, but didn't pay any attention to the letters on the screen.

NO! DON'T TURN IT OFF! I WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! NOOOOO!

Oblivious, I turned off the computer and monitor and got back into bed.

THE END

I would like to thank W1llow for making me a mod, which I think is every poster's dream. I would also like to thank

soul4angel, Legion, EVA, Dawn, Angel's Coat, Jess, Cici, Guro, Slayergirl, Angelic Watcher, buffyfanalways for the

Buffy and Angel eps, a bunch of people that have left, Ben, Dom, oz's groupie, Tr1pod, Angel, Raven Evermore for

all the effort he's putting into getting the Tomorrow People episodes for me, Nat, Spikepunk, and the newbies and

civilians and other peeps that I didn't mention. Only 300 more to go before I have 1000 posts, then I'll only be a

thousand posts behind Jess.