Disclaimers: Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon, Marti Noxon, Twentieth Century Fox Productions, UPN, Mutant Enemy, Kuzui Enterprises, and Sandollar Television. This story was written for entertainment and not for profit. Any copyright infringements were not intended.

Spoilers and Timing: Takes place in late Season Two and sometime in one of the later seasons. There aren’t any spoilers for once.

Summary: A demon couple - both virgins - takes in a human boy. They spend the next thousand years raising him from a baby to a young adult, over and over and over again…

Note: The entire story is dialogue, and it's the kind of story where you can choose your own ending!

*****

"No! No, I won’t let you."

"Oh, come now, Brian. It won’t hurt."

"Yes it will! It always does. I never wanted this! Please."

"You know that if you struggle less it won’t hurt as much, son."

"But mother, father-I can’t do this anymore! Why are you doing this?"

"We didn’t raise you right this time. You know that. Plus, Mariam wants a baby boy again. Don’t you, honey?"

"Yes, my dear husband, I do. Come now, Brian. You know we can’t have any other children. We’ve been over this ten times already. Why won’t you just give in? Frank, dear, hand me that tranquilizer gun, will you?"

"Of course, Marian. Here it is."

"Thank you. Now, Brian, you know that if you don’t cooperate I’ll be forced to use this."

"Then use it, because that’s the only way you’re going to get me."

Sigh.

"Very well."

Bang!

Thump.

"Well, now that he’s unconscious, let’s get him strapped onto the rack, shall we?"

"Frank, I’ll grab his arms and you get his legs."

"My, he’s getting heavy, isn’t he? At least he’ll be easier to carry places soon."

"Help me tie him in place with the straps, Frank. There. He’s secure."

"Let’s get this over with, Marian dear. I want to catch Walker, Texas Ranger before we pack up and head to California."

"What’s the name of the town we’re going to again? I don’t believe I’ve heard of it before."

"It’s Sunnydale. I’ve heard that there’s a Hellmouth there. Everyone there’s really ignorant, too. Why, we could change Brian back to a baby a hundred times and they wouldn’t notice."

"That sounds lovely. Maybe Brian will like it there. Frank, could you hand me that chalk over there? I need to draw an outline on the rack around his body. It’s a good thing we did this after he just got out of the shower; he had really started to smell from playing all that basketball with his friends."

"Okay, now that you’ve finished the chalk outline, I’ll recite the spell. Ready, Marian?"

"Ready, dear."

"Diana, Artemis, goddesses of the moon and virginity, hear us. For centuries we have served you faithfully. Please, here our plea! Keep us chaste and keep our son in our household by making him a child again! If you do so, we will forever remain virgins in your names. Hear us!"

Swoosh.

"Aaaaahhhh!"

"Brian, stop that racket! Oh, we should have remembered to soundproof this room. Frank, what if the neighbors hear him?"

"In a minute, it won’t matter. Marian, look! His body is already reverting to its month-old state. It’s done!"

"He’s as precious as I remember! Come on, Frank; grab the last suitcases. We’re taking our baby boy to Sunnydale!"

"What should we call him this time, honey?"

"Hmm…How about Alexander? We haven’t used that one in over four hundred years, after all. As for our new aliases, I'm getting tired of using Martha and James. It's about time we come up with new ones."

"Whatever you want, Marian."

*****

"Mom? Dad? I’m home."

"Hello, Xander. Why don’t you go upstairs and put your stuff in your room? We need to talk to you about something."

"Um…okay."

"He’s gone. Are we ready, Marian?"

"I’ve got everything out and ready, Frank. Let’s hope he doesn’t struggle this time too much. It’s too bad we had to wait so long, but now all the people that knew Xander as a baby are dead. All we have to worry about are those friends of his."

"Don’t worry about them, Marian. All we have to do is pretend he just disappeared after his baby brother was born and we don’t know where he could possibly be. With the death rate in this town, they’ll probably assume he died the same way their classmates have – drained of blood."

"Shh-here he comes."

"I’m back. What do you want to talk to me about-oh my god. Oh my god."

"Well, it looks like you remember it all again. I told you the rack was the trigger, Marian."

"Alexander, dear? Do you remember everything now?"

"Yes. I do. You’re going to make me a baby again, aren’t you?"

"Very good, son. Now be a good boy and climb onto the rack so your mother can draw your outline."

"You people are insane! I’m not going to go through that again!"

Sigh.

"Happens every time, doesn’t it, Frank? Oh, well. Hyriondo Plebus Froisu!"

"Wow. He looks like he’s as frozen as stone!"

"That’s because he is. It’s a little trick I picked up at that pub, Willy’s. We’d better get him settled on the rack; the freezing spell will wear off any minute."

"Well done, Marian! I’ll strap him down. It’s going to take longer than usual, looks like. We need to get his clothes off, for one thing."

"The freezing spell should wear off in five, four, three, two-"

"HELP!!!"

"Alexander LaVelle Harris, cease that yelling at once! That’s better. Now, you know the drill. Be a good sport, will you?"

"Let go of my shoes! Please don’t…"

Rip!

"There, your shirt is off now. That’s better. Frank, dear, help me with his pants and boxers."

"Certainly. There, now he’s ready."

"He needs some preparing, now, doesn’t he, Frank? Diana isn’t going to want to change him back so easily since we let him get this old, and Artemis won’t want anything to do with him unless he’s clean and isn’t squirming as much. Too bad we ran out of tranquilizer."

"Mom, dad, please! I thought you were happy this time."

"We are, dear. We're just extending that happiness for another ten years or so. You know we can’t let you go. We want to keep you under our care forever, and look at you! Almost a legal adult. We couldn’t have waited any longer. You know that, son."

OPTION #1: Xander doesn't become a baby.
OPTION #2: Xander does become a baby.

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