The Eds Next Door
The cul-de-sac was quiet on this particular day. The children, who were bored from playing every game under the sun, had settled down on the sidewalk to watch moving vans rushing up and down the street to empty house at the end. Hopefully, this new family would put an end to the boredom. New neighbors always meant new playmates...or victims of schemes...
"Hurry up, slowpokes!" Eddy yelled to his friends as they raced through the backyards.
"Buttered toast, Eddy!" Ed sang aloud, dragging the slow Double D by the arm.
"Perspiration is not good! Not good at all!" Double D gasped, "Ed! You're soiling my shirt!"
"I am a gazelle, Double D. Frollic with me!"
Eddy stopped suddenly, causing Ed to plow into him. He pushed the larger Ed off and motioned them into the bushes. There, they watched as a man and woman talked with the movers.
"My, look at our new neighbors. What a delightful-looking duo. I knew I should have baked cookies."
"Can it, sockhead. We're not trying to win the Neighbor of the Year award! If they have kids as gullible-looking as they seem, we can retire on jawbreakers in a month!"
Ed clapped, "Retiring means we can golf all day and yell FOUR!"
"Keep it down! You'll blow our cover, you lun~AAAH!"
Eddy squealed as he was lifted from their hiding spot by his hairs.
The other two Eds looked up at the girl standing over them. She spoke with a mean Cajun accent.
"Whatchu doin' in my bushes? Dey ugly enough without your mug in 'em!"
Double D emerged slowly from the bushes, his hands clasped together nervously. Ed flung his hands in the air, "I am innocent! The alien-queen made me do it!"
The girl raised and eyebrow and released Eddy, him letting out a muffled gasp as his bottom hit the ground.
"Whatever. Jes' tell me who you are and why ya gotta be hidin' in my yard like dat."
Double D stepped forward, still shaking, "I'm Edward..."
The other two snickered.
"...but everyone calls me Double D."
Ed jumped excitedly, "Oooooh! I know! Me! Me!"
The girl smiled a bit, "Yes?"
"I'm Ed! Rhymes with ketchup, but it's blue like tomatoes."
Eddy licked his hand and slicked it over his three hairs, "Yeah, the name's Eddy. I'm the leader of this pack; the brains of the operation."
"Well, my name's Loni, but most people call me Cajun 'cuz I'm from Louisiana...but why were ya'll a-spyin' on us?"
Eddy thought it over a minute and grinned, "Oh, we wanted to meet you face-to-face, but dear Edward here was too scared to. So, we decided to prove to him you weren't mean by quietly watching from a distance."
Double D gave Eddy a "Liar!" look, but shrugged at the new girl and nodded, "So, you're from Louisiana, right? Very intriguing."
"Explains the temper," Eddy murmured.
Loni kneeled down to him, grinning. Her grin fell to a serious face as she dug a hand into her jeans pocket.
"You're a real comedian, Eddy. I'll give ya a dollar if you shut up and walk away now."
His eyes flashed dollar signs as the bill landed in his hands. He bolted to the candy store.
"Jawbreakers, Double D!" laughed Ed as he trotted off behind.
Double D began to walk off, But Loni placed a hand gently on his shoulder, making him turn around.
"Hey, Edward, I'm havin' a party tonight...ya know, get to know my neighborhood? It'd be great if you could come."
He blushed a little bit, "I would be honored to attend."
She gave him a pat on the head as she rose to her feet, "If you can find some leashes, dem other two are welcome to come, too."
~~~~~~~~~~
"Easy does it," Double D whispered to himself as he carefully set down the large tray of cookies on the kitchen counter. He stood back to admire his handiwork, but was soon interrupted as Ed and Eddy came busting through the door.
Ed's eyes grew wide as he took a whiff, "Cookies! Yum!"
"No, Ed!" Double D whined as he grabbed his large friend's shirt-tail, "Those are for the party."
"Awwww, c'mon, Double D! Cookies!"
Double D released Ed with a sigh, "I suppose one couldn't hurt..."
Ed laughed stupidly and attacked the tray, grabbing a few cookies.
"I meant one cookie, not one HANDFUL!"
Eddy shoved a bottle on Ed's head. It fogged up each time he took a breath.
"I'm an alien!"
"Let's go already before Ed does some serious damage. I have a whole boatload of ideas to get cash tonight, especially from that Loni girl. Did you see how easy it was to get a whole dollar from her?"
"I think she made a wise choice in relinquishing it to you," Double D smirked, "If I knew it was that easy, I would have done so myself a long time ago."
He then took off his chef hat and oven mittens and placed the infamous black sock-hat on his head. The other two Eds stared.
"Must you do that every time? Now, let's be off or we'll be late."
The trio made their way onto the sidewalk outside, following the strange Rolf, whose hands were full as well.
"Hello, Ed-boys. Attending the party, yes? Care to try my secret family recipe for weiners?"
Eddy shook his head fast, "Um, no thanks, Rolf. I'm not hungry at the moment. Maybe later?"
"I have glass on my head," Ed laughed.
Rolf shrugged and continued walking. Double D tapped Eddy on the shoulder and whispered, "Eddy, those weiners were green! How unsanitary!"
They arrived at the front door of the house and rang the doorbell. Loni's face appeared, giving the boys a large smile.
"Dere ya'll are. Come on in; party's in the backyard."
"Yeah," Eddy grinned, "You can't have a party without the Eddy-man."
Ed pulled the bottle off of his head and handed it to Loni, "For you!"
"Oh, a housewarmin' gift? How...sweet! I'll go put it in the kitchen," she looked at Double D and the cookies, "Oooooh, cookies! Way awesome! Follow me and I'll show ya where to put 'em."
Eddy led Ed outside to where the other cul-de-sac children were dancing to the beat of a surround-sound stereo. Double D followed Loni down the hallway, admiring the art on the walls.
"My, these are beautiful. They must have been quite the expensive pieces of work."
Loni waved a hand, "Oh, dem ol' things? You can have one if you like; I'll jes' draw another one later."
He stopped, amazed, "You drew these?"
"Heh, hard to believe, huh? But it's true. I'm gonna be an artist."
"Maybe you'll be famous," he added.
She sighed, "Yeah...maybe, maybe not. I'm not in it for the money or the fame...it's jes' what I want to do. What is it you wanna do? I'm sure a person of your stature's gotta have a bazillion plans in mind."
Double D looked around in thought. Up until now, he had never given it a thought. "I am uncertain at this stage, but maybe I can be the next Albert Einstein."
The duo strolled into the kitchen as Loni placed the tray of cookies and the bottle-gift on the table, "So, you're a math and science whiz? Heh, and I didn't even think kids your age liked the hard stuff. Well, if you're gonna be Einstein, I hope ya don't mimick his hair-do under dere."
She tugged up on Double D's hat, causing him to quickly slap it back down. He gave an uncomfortable glance to her, and looked to the floor, slumping low in his chair.
She raised an eyebrow, giving a confused stare, "Hey, sorry."
There was a long moment of silence as Loni shifted from foot to foot awkwardly. Her head perked up as she heard the stereo outside playing a favorite song. She poked Double D in the ribs.
"Let's go outside and dance. I bet you're a real killer on the dance floor!"
He giggled and preceeded to follow his older friend towards the backyard. Outside, the kids danced to the beat of a popular boy band. Eddy was doing his best to impress the other kids, who were not paying him any attention. Ed bounced around, throwing pots and anything else breakable to the ground.
"Breakdancing!" he laughed.
Loni zipped towards the dumb Ed, grabbing an arm, "Uh...let me teach you a new dance...somethin' less damagin'. Hey, guys! Play me somethin' other den dat Backstreet Boys crap!"
Nazz flipped the music to an easy Latin beat as Loni twirled Ed around in her arms.
"Faster! Make it go faster!" he yelled happily.
She did as he commanded, twirling around fast enough to make Ed's eyes go straight. The backyard became a blur of dancing kids. They finally slowed down and took a bow as the others cheered wildly.
"Wow! Ed's a natural! People would pay big money to dance with him!" Eddy rubbed his hands together.
Loni reached out and took Double D's hand, "C'mon, ya gonna stand dere all night are are ya gonna dance?"
"Well, I," he began as he was pulled over.
"Jes' follow me and you'll do fine," she whispered.
He blushed as the other kids cheered on, but soon moved around until he was on-beat with Loni.
"Aha! I knew ya could do it, Edward!"
As the two danced, Ed grabbed Eddy's foot and swung him around, "Dance with me, Eddy!"
"Put me down! Ed! I'm getting sick!"
~~~~~~~~~~
It was getting late, so most of the kids had begun to make their way home. Ed sat on the snack bar, eating the leftover salsa.
"Aight, buddy...I think you've had enough," Loni joked, picking him off the bar and putting him on the floor, "Man, would you look at dis mess...my parents will freak when dey get back."
Eddy shrugged and started to walk towards the door, "Oh well, tough luck, sister. Let's go, boys, we've got..."
"Plenty of time to help you," Double D interrupted, "Don't we, Eddy?"
Loni grinned, "A'course, I can't let ya'll work without some sort of payment..."
"Payment?" Eddy's eyes shone, "What are we waiting for? This place is going to sparkle!"
Double D grinned up towards Loni as she smiled back, "Man, I've been to some weird places, and met some weird people, but you guys...you guys, I like. For once, I can jes' be myself and not worry about what others think."
She took the empty salsa bowl from Ed and replaced it with the cheese dip bowl. Then, she pulled a stool to the sink and helped Eddy with the dishes.
Yeah, for once I, too, can be myself. Double D thought as he surveyed the scenery.
He smiled as he watched Eddy and Loni slinging dishwater at one another and laughing. Ed climbed back onto the bar and was attacked by soap bubbles.
"I just wonder if the cul-de-sac is ready for you, Loni," he whispered.
A bit of water splashed on the floor next to Double D. He grabbed the mop and began cleaning.
"Yeah, I bet the ol' cul-de-sac can handle me," Loni looked over her shoulder, winking, "If not, well, I have the best three friends right here with me."
All cheered as the radio was turned on. They cleaned and danced until the room sparkled, just as Eddy promised. And when it came down to payment, Eddy shook his head.
"We're friends, right?"
"Dat we are...dat we are. But still...," Loni placed the tray off cookies on the bar, "Can't let you boys go without a reward."
They happily ate the cookies, laughing and talking all the while, as the night sky filled with stars and the moon began shining bright, ending the first day of a new adventure.
