War is Ed
Author comments: Dis story ain't intended to diss the characters within...oh, who am I kiddin'? Of course it does!
Dis goes out to all my friends in the Ed, Edd 'n Eddy fandom. Together, we spread Ed-love all around!
It was a pretty dull day in the cul-de-sac as Ed, Edd, and Eddy lounged in Eddy's backyard. The entire block was dead-silent, because everyone was in the city for the annual Powerpuff Girl live taping.
"Eddy! I'm bored!" Ed yelled in his usual loud manner.
"Duh!" Eddy huffed, "We haven't been able to scam anyone ALL WEEK! They've all been in the city standing in line for that stupid Pow...Pow...ARGH! I can't stand to even say it!"
Double D leaned up from his chair, "Powerpuff Girls, Eddy. Let's face it; they're more popular than we've ever been."
Eddy gritted his teeth, "What makes them so much better than us anyway?"
The hat-bearing Ed counted on his fingers, "Well, they fight for good while we scam for cash..."
"So what? Having jawbreakers sky-high is way better than helping an old lady cross the street!"
"...They have a hotline..."
"And we don't?" Eddy held up a sign to the camera, "That's right! Dial 1-800-EDSRULE! Only a dollar a minute!"
Double D gave him a look and continued on, "...They're sweet and adorable..."
Eddy grabbed Ed by the neck and hugged him in front of the camera, grinning innocently with big eyes, "What's not to love about these sweet and adorable faces?"
Double D sighed and shook his head, "I can't believe you'd sink so low."
Eddy thought it over for a minute, then pushed Ed away, "Forget that! I say we put an end to this craze once and for all! Cartoon Network Studios, here we come!"
"Oh dear!" Double D squeaked as Ed picked up and carried him after their three-haired friend.
"I like chickens!" Ed laughed as they ran from the cul-de-sac to the studio in about three seconds flat. (It's a cartoon thing.)
Eddy beat on the doors, "Let us in!"
A security guard poked his head from the booth nearby, "State your name, please."
"State my name? Don't you recognize us? We're Ed, Edd, and Eddy!"
The guard looked over his papers, "Let's see...here's Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup, Chicken, Courage, Cow, Dee-Dee, Dexter, Johnny...nope, no Eds here anywhere. Sorry, but you'll have to leave."
Eddy's jaw dropped, "WHAT? What do you mean 'no Eds'?! We have the Cartoon Network logo basically stamped all over us!"
He preceeded to yank Eds tongue from his mouth and shove it in the guard's face. The logo indeed was printed.
The security guard moved it and shook his head, "Those tattoos can be bought anywhere. You need an appointment to enter."
"Look here, mister! We're a part of this company! Go call up Danny Antonucci; he'll prove we belong here!"
The guard picked up the phone, but did not call the wonderful producer. Instead, he called the main security.
Double D ran as a large man pushed open the doors with a growl. He picked Ed and Eddy up and threw them across the road where they landed on Double D with a thud.
He raised up and rubbed his head, "Uhhh, now what?"
"I have an idea!" Ed shouted.
"Somehow I doubt I'm going to like this," Eddy sighed.
~~~~~~~~~~
"I KNEW I wouldn't like this!" Eddy growled as he tugged at his costume.
Double D tried desperately to keep his dress down, but to no avail. He blushed, "I never thought I would say this, but I've sunk lower than a beetle at limbo."
"I am Blossom!" Ed laughed as he ran towards the front doors.
"This will never work!" Eddy ran behind.
The security guard looked at Ed and smiled, "Good morning, Blossom. You're looking cute today...a little taller, but cute." He allowed Ed inside.
"Bubbles! How nice to see you. Love the hat!" he smiled at Double D as he blushed and ran inside.
"Whoa, Buttercup! You've put on weight. Better stop with the midnight snacking."
Eddy grumbled as he stalked in behind his friends, "He should be glad I don't have special powers, because he'd be FRIED by now!"
The imposters ran into an alley and hid behind the garbage cans. Double D lifted his hat as their clothes fell to the ground. Ed and Eddy stared.
"You should be getting used to it by now," Double D muttered as they quickly got dressed.
"I'm amazed Ed's idea actually worked," Eddy whistled as he threw his shirt on.
"Piece of bread, Eddy!" Ed laughed as he preceeded to put his pants on his head.
"Ed, please," Double D helped him dress properly.
"Come on, the you-know-who's studio is this way! I've got a bone to pick with them!"
"He's persistant, isn't he?" Double D asked Ed.
"Like refried beans!"
They caught up to Eddy and halted. The Powerpuff Girl studio was heavily guarded with really big men with really big weapons.
"What now, Eddy? The place is surrounded!" Double D frantically stated.
Before Eddy could come up with a plan, someone came up behind them, giving the Eds a giant bearhug.
"Look, Momma! Ugly little kids!" Johnny Bravo held them up to Mrs. Bravo.
"Awwww, Johnny, you found some playmates! How sweet! Why don't you bring them to the taping with us?" she answered, ushering her son into the doors.
"Mmmmm, powerpuffy," he thought out loud as he followed his mother inside.
Double D's eyes went wide as he spoke flatly, "I can't believe what just happened."
Johnny chunked them into the seat on his left and ran off towards the hot dog guy. Eddy rubbed his fists together and looked at the clock.
"Only four minutes, boys. Then we'll rid the Earth of the Pow...THEM! We'll be famous again!"
Eddy began to laugh maniacally, but stopped and looked at the man in the corner, "AHEM!"
The man jumped from his spot and turned on the record player as the maniacally-laughing music played. Eddy continued to laugh until he choked, waving at the man to stop as he coughed and sputtered.
"Sorry about the cheap effects, folks. This is a low-budget story afterall," Double D whispered into the camera.
Everyone gathered in their seats as the lights dimmed, signaling the beginning of the taping. Silence hushed over the audience when the curtains opened to reveal a scene from Townsville. The seat in which the Eds were sitting was now empty as they inched their way closer to the stage.
The scene began with the narrator, "The city of Townsville...is being attacked!"
The audience gasped as a man in a giant alligator costume began jumping on the cardboard buildings.
Cheers were heard when the Powerpuff Girls flew into the screen, each suspended by ropes from the ceiling.
"Prepare to...um...what's my line again?" Blossom said in a confused manner.
"TASTE DEFEAT!" Buttercup yelled as she came towards the giant alligator.
Bubbles was not paying much attention, for her eyes were closed and she kept repeating to herself, "I'm not going to fall. I'm not going to fall. I'm not going to fall."
The audience was in suspense, but was interrupted as the sound of rioting laughter came from Ed, Edd, and Eddy. They lay in the aisle doubled-over.
Eddy raised up, "You mean we've been put out of business for THAT? Ed has more talent in his bellybutton than you three have altogether!"
The Powerpuff Girls broke from their ropes and flew to the Eds, enraged.
"You think you cold do better?" Blossom shrieked, hovering above them.
"Well then, how about you take us on and we'll see who's the better cartoon team!" Buttercup spat.
The audience cheered them on, unaware that the situation was not planned. A man in the audience looked at the script perplexed.
"Oh well. This sure beats re-runs of Gilligan's Island.
In a cartoon-like manner, the studio disappeared as a large arena planted itself in the concrete.
Double D sweated in fear, then looked towards the camera, "This may get out of hand. If you're squeamish, I recommend you please..."
"Go find your recorded tapes of 'Ed, Edd 'n Eddy'!" Eddy interrupted, giving the camera a thumbs-up.
Chicken walked into the center of the arena wearing a striped T-shirt, "Alright, listen up! No hitting below the belt and no use of nuclear weapons! Let's get it on!"
Cow cheered from the crowd, "Yay! That's my brother!"
The bell sounded as the two groups came towards another.
"Eddy, what are we going to fight with? They can shoot rays from their eyes!" Double D squealed.
He was soon hushed as Bubbles landed a swift kick to his chin, sending him across the mat. He rubbed his face and looked up to see Ed land on him, courtesy of Blossom.
"No one hurts my friends, especially YOU!" Eddy attacked with a round of spitballs.
"My eye!" Buttercup cried as she fell to the ground.
"No fair!" Blossom whined, "We're the Powerpuff Girls! We're supposed to win!" She zoomed towards Eddy, giving him a punch to the stomach.
As he fell backwards, the girls attacked the Eds with all their might. It looked like a lost cause for the boys until Buttercup hissed out an insult.
"You guys are as stupid as your loser creator! You'll regret the day he EVER drew you!"
Double D raised up, squinting his eyes, "What did you say?"
"Danny Antonucci is cool!" Ed yelled.
Eddy jumped to his feet, "Guys, release the JAWBREAKERS!"
They reached into their pockets and grabbed jumbo-sized jawbreakers. They threw them at the Powerpuff Girls, sending them crashing into a brick wall with a sickening splat. Their ink and paint squished from between the wall and jawbreakers and oozed through a crack in the floor.
Chicken appeared and looked over the mess. He raised a hand, "Eds win!"
The audience was silent, looking on at the scene in disbelief. Then, from some corner of the room, a girl raised to her feet and cheered, clapping and jumping excitedly. Soon, an entire section of the arena hooped and hollered, sending the entire arena in frenzious cheers.
Ed, Edd 'n Eddy! Ed, Edd 'n Eddy!
~~~~~~~~~~
"Ed, Edd 'n Eddy!" a voice spoke, causing the Eds to open their eyes.
"Huh? What happened?" Eddy hazily grumbled.
"You guys fell asleep. The way you were wiggling, I'd say you had one heck of a dream. Now come on, you have an episode to tape."
"But the arena...the screaming fans...the Pow...Pow..."
"Powerpuff Girls, Eddy, "Double D sighed as he climbed down from his seat, "I guess it was all a dream indeed."
Eddy jumped up, "So they're still here! Man, wake me up when the nightmare's over!"
Ed laughed and spoke up, "I don't think so, Eddy." He held up a pitcher with six angry eyes staring from a mass of colors.
Eddy smiled big and ran over to Danny Antonucci, giving him a giant hug. Ed and Double D soon followed.
He looked down in confusement, "What's this about?"
Double D grinned, "Just a thank-you for creating us."
As the Eds hugged THE MAN, the others passed by.
"What are you dorks doing? Are you trying to brown-nose with Mr. Antonucci?" Kevin said.
"No, we're just showing our appreciation!" Eddy said. He then turned to the camera, "And so should YOU!"
The End
Author's Note: Show your support for Ed, Edd, and Eddy! I proudly support Danny Antonucci and AKA Cartoons!
