Disclaimer: All the usual apply, Marvel owns all, except Santa, we're all borrowing from the same source here.

Bobby saves the World, well sorta
by Polka Dot



"Damnit Bobby, how many times do we have to have this conversation?" Scott was in angry leader mode, the one which Robert Drake knew all too well. He contemplated his response, should be bow to Scott's obvious control freak needs by being the obdient underling, listening carefully to every word and nodding in acquiesence? Should he play the bored brat and recite Scott's own speech back into his face? Should he push the very fabric of the leader/lackey relationship and endanger his own life by being a smart-mouthed know-it-all and defend his actions?

No he decided on a even more dangerous course of action, he would play his most familiar role. He would try to distract, confuse but ultimately only anger his collague with a random chattering that showed he was completely lacking in Danger room survival skills and simple common sense.

"Sorry Scott I guess I wasn't paying attention. I just have so much on my mind." Sweet boyish grin engaged.

"And just what do you have on your mind that is so important, you'd risk your life and the life of your teammates? this is a level 4 exercise!" Bait taken.

"Well" Big eyes unveiled. "I have been thinking about this whole global warming thing and it really bothers me." Sniff. "I mean I am the Iceman and I am supposed to be saving the world and all that." Sniff, sniff. "So I've been thinking that maybe I should use my powers in a sort of anti-global warming. I little global freezing if you will. Not like Ice Age freezin'(bad movie by the way), but you know just Sweden up the place a little. You know what I mean?" Hopeful smile delivered.

Eyebrow twitching on an otherwise dead-pan face."You're kidding."

"Why would I kid, this is serious stuff, holes in the ozone and all that. Shouldn't be X-Men be doing something about that?"

"And what do you propose we do about that Bobby? Perhaps we should stick you up there on the North Pole and let you cool off the place?" Not falling for a bit of the usual childish crap.

"I'll do what I can Scott, but I'm only one man." Tiny violin in the corner, playing.

So now they were on the Blackbird, over the North Pole. This was apparently Scott's idea of scaring Bobby straight. Bobby didn't mind, they'd come to pick him up before he starved to death, meanwhile, no work for a week.

"You know, kid, if you hide your tail between your legs and hide in the back of the ship, I'm sure Scott'll forgive you." Wolfish smirk in place.

"That's not necessary Logan. I'm here to do some good. I'm willing to sacrifice the comforts in life to help the humans out of their hair spray induced folly." Whoa, take it down a notch, that sounded just a bit gay.

"Right, well I hate to be the one to shatter your illusions, but you know there ain't no Santa Claus so you're gonna be napping with polar bears for the next few days."

Glint in eye and bad Australian accent in place. "Lookat dat mate, isn't she gorgeous? Look at those teeth, six inches long and she's fierce one. Oh yes you are. I'm just gonna let me mate Terry here lure her out onto this glacier so we can get a better look."

One week later.

"Stop grinnin'." Remy was obviously more amused than annoyed.

"But I'm so happy to be home." Wide joyful eyes.

"You're happy to be fed." This was true.

"Did I make the news?" Hopeful eyes.

"Sorta, there's been reports on de hole shrinkage, but o'course dey don't know dat you're de one responsible fer it."

Sigh. "As usual we mutants don't get our just rewards."

"Oh I wouldn't say dat. Watchin' Scott eat crow fer a week is pretty damn rewardin'." Cajin approval, it's surprising but sweet.

Sorrowful eyes. "But Logan was right. There is no Santa Claus."

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