Bring on the Rain

Another day has almost come and gone
Can’t imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I’d like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war (‘cause)

He slid his hotel passkey into the lock, heard the click and slowly pushed open the door. Giving his bags a sling into the room he leaned back against the door, shutting it with the weight of his body. He stood there for a minute, and then taking a deep breath and feeling a familiar pain in his side, he slid down the door. Pulling his knees up to his chest and balancing his folded arms across them he put his head down and sat there quietly, listening to the hum of the air conditioner and feeling the blood pulse through his veins. He mentally listed all the parts of him that were sore.

First his head hurt, because he had just completed a lonely 12-hour drive. Then there was his shoulder; he had wrenched it last week when he had twisted during a table spot. There were always his ribs, still sore from his match at the last pay per view. Finally there was his stomach and his thumb. His stomach was messed up again like it usually was on the road. He had no consistency in his diet anymore, too little time to eat on the road, and way too much bad fast food. His thumb, however, was his latest injury. For once though, it had nothing to do with wrestling. That was a first; he thought to himself and couldn’t help but smile. He had been getting his stuff from the car to take into the hotel and had inadvertdly smashed it in the process of shutting the trunk. He was pretty sure it was broken, but he had some tape in his bag. That would just be one less trip to the trainers.

He hated days like this. He hated being alone. It was so much different when they were there. He knew that he would only be traveling for alone, a little longer. His brother would be back soon. He hadn’t blamed him one bit for taking some time off. He knew about a week ago that his brother had reached his breaking point, and if the booker hadn’t sent him home, he would have winded up getting even sloppier and eventually got hurt. He almost envied his brother for being able to say when enough was enough. He could never do that. He had to keep pressing forward. He knew he wasn’t as over as his brother, and if he left the spotlight for even one second, he knew there was always that chance. The chance that someone new would come in and steal the spotlight away. He couldn’t risk the chance of losing his push. So he worked hurt a lot. But that was just part of the game. Part of the price he had to pay to for living his dream. Living my dream, he thought sarcastically. Here lately he had begun to wonder if the dream was even worth it anymore. Banishing the thought from his head, he sucked in a deep breath and stood, making his way slowly towards the bed.

Tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

When he reached the bed he plopped down, but instantly regretted it because he was quickly reminded of each ache and pain. He slid slowly to the head of the bed and propped his arms behind his head. He missed her too. While his brother was his best friend, she was his heart. She was his inspiration and his strength. She was the reason that he kept going on days like this, when he felt like he was ready to give up. She shared his dream. She understood his hopes and aspirations, because they were hers as well. They had big plans together and were going to go far in the federation. Her injury had been a setback though. He hated to even think about it. He had been there with her in the hospital, he had held her before her operation and tried his best to soothe her fears, while deep inside he had plenty of his own. He knew her recovery would be long and hard, and he planned on being the most loving and supporting boyfriend he could be. What if she decided not to come back out on the road? He knew her determination, and knew she would recover, but what if the ring rust was just too much. What if she was scared to get back in the ring again? What if she decided to come off of the road? He doubted any of that would happen but he had heard the fear in her voice before her surgery, so there was always a chance. This is crazy he thought to himself, I’m just tired and stressed. I really need some sleep. I just need to get some sleep and everything will look better in the morning. He sat up slowly, stripped down to his boxers and then tried his best to snuggle under the covers comfortably without setting off a new wave of aches and pains.

It’s almost like the hard times circle ‘round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but I’m not dead

He tried his best to let his mind clear and drift off to sleep, but as hard as he tried sleep just wouldn’t come. He set up, stretched and then reached to the floor, fumbling to find something in his bag. He found the little drawstring back and straightened up in the bed. He loosened the drawstring and let the razor blade fall into his palm. Light from the muted hotel television glistened off the silvery edge. He turned the blade over and over in his palm and let his mind drift back to the last conversation he had had with the booker. Arn had explained that they were getting ready to push a big feud with him and Scott Levy, otherwise known as Raven. He had been excited. He had been working some house shows and Heat tapings with Scott and had enjoyed it a lot. A feud would be great, he had thought, but that’s when Arn had dropped the bomb. Raven’s in-ring style was strictly hardcore, and in order to make the story line realistic, there would be times when he would be required to blade. Blading was not a completely foreign term to him, he totally understood what it was, he had just never done something like that before.

He and his brother had talked many times about what they would and would not do in this industry. They wanted to keep their pride and their reputation in tact. There was nothing wrong with blading, he knew that and he would never condemn anyone who did it, if it was something they felt they had to do to sell the story line. He knew plenty of the biggest superstars bladed on a regular basis. But for him it was different. He always prided himself on the fact that he had never used any outside methods, such as blading, to sell a story. Sure he had bled in matches before. He had bled a lot. But it had always been from an in-ring accident or a botched spot, not something that he had inflicted on himself. He had heard fans say for years “If the Hardys are bleeding…you know the match is extreme. They don’t have to blade. They spill their juice the hard way.” He had been proud of that, and until now it had never been an issue. The question now was; was he good enough without his brother to sell an extreme match on his own, without blading. He wished he could say yes without a shadow of a doubt. But now, looking down at the blade lying in his palm, he just wasn’t sure.

Tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

He was startled from his thoughts by the ringing of his cell phone. Putting the blade back in its drawstring pouch, he tossed it back in his bag, while reaching over towards the nightstand to grab his cell phone. “Hello” he said sluggishly. He was greeted with a cheery “Hi sweetie” and he instantly smiled. “I’ve really missed you,” he said without giving his words a second thought. “Matt are you ok” Amy asked, her concern registering in her voice. “Hey man!” came a masculine voice in the background. He smiled, he knew his brother had been often been keeping Amy company while he was off the road. “Yeah, I’m ok” he lied, “It’s just been a real long day.” “Well honey if I’m keeping you up, I’m really sorry. I just wanted to make sure you made it to the hotel ok and to let you know your stupid little brother was over here bugging me again” Amy giggled. He could hear Jeff protesting being called stupid in the background and then he heard Jeff grunt when what Matt guessed was the pillow Amy had thrown at him finally hit him in the head. Man I wish I was there he thought to himself sadly. “Do you want me to let you go so you can get some sleep?” she questioned.

“No no no…talk to me” he said closing his eyes and smiling just at the comforting effect her voice had over him. “What do you want to talk about?” she asked. “Any thing and everything” he said slowly “I miss you guys. It’s a pain being out here on the road by myself. Tell me what’s going on at home.” “Oh please Matt” Amy laughingly said into the phone “this is North Carolina. You know nothing ever happens hear. You sound awful though baby..are you sure you’re ok?” She knows me so well he thought. “Yes Amy, I’m ok. I promise. I’m just sore and tired…” he said and then added “and homesick.” “I miss you too sweetheart” she replied “but its not going to be long till Team Extreme is back together and better than ever.” “Yeah..You tell it sister!” Jeff said in agreement and Matt couldn’t help but laugh. He missed them so much, but he knew now things were going to be ok. With their strength, love and support he could get through the lonely road trips till they were together again. And he knew now, they would be, together again. “Hun, I’m going to let you go so I can get some sleep. I miss you guys. Don’t let Jeff get too goofy while he’s gone” he said and then yawned into the receiver. “You know your brother well enough to know he’s already too goofy” she said laughingly and Matt smiled when he heard Jeff protest again in the background. “I love you Aims,” he said. “I love you too Matt. Be safe and I’ll see you in a few days.” With that he hung up the phone, laid it back on the nightstand and settled down to finally get some sleep.

I’m not gonna let it get me down
I’m not gonna cry
And I’m not gonna lose any sleep tonight
So bring on the rain

song by Jo Dee Messina