Wedding Day

Today you'll pick up all the pieces
And get on with your life
All I can hope is that you're happy
'Cause today you're someone elses wife
Right now I wish that I could turn back
And beg the hands of time
For the days that I remember (oh baby)
The days when you were mine
And if I never said I love you
It's cause the words got in the way
Now all I do is say I'm sorry
Sorry I missed your wedding day

He cursed himself silently and hit the stern wheel of his car for what must have been the hundredth time. Just get out and go in, you came all this way just turn the friggin car off and go in the church. Find a place in the back and sit and watch. You can get put through tables and fall from ladders, going to this wedding is the least you can do. Still he sat there. He just couldn’t make himself get out and go in and watch her marry someone else. He had always thought of her as his. She was his constant companion, his lover and his friend. She was the one who understood him better than anyone. She knew why he put his life on the line for his dream. He always thought she knew just how important she was to him. But she had asked him to do the one thing that wasn’t possible. She had asked him to choose. To choose between the dreams he had worked his whole life for and the love he thought he would always have. She had told him she just didn’t feel like playing second fiddle anymore. She told him she wanted someone who could leave the ring in the arena and come home and talk about more than just business. She said she would always love him, but if she couldn’t be his first love it was time for them to leave their relationship behind.

He had thought about it long and hard. He had had many sleepless nights reevaluating his life. In the end he had made, what he knew now was one of the biggest mistakes in his life. He wished above anything that he could take back the conversation they had when he told her that he loved her but he wasn’t ready to give up on his dream. He had told her there were too many places his career could go and too many things left he wanted to do. He had said he just wasn’t ready to settle down right now. He now knew that was the only thing he wanted to do. She was all he wanted now, but what he had with her was something he would never have again…not with anyone.

He only had himself to blame right now. She had given him every chance to love her and she had loved him unconditionally for a long time. Why couldn’t he have just seen the truth before it was too late. He loved her, he always had, and he always would. His high ambitions and pride had gotten in the way though.

He could still see the tears in her eyes as he walked away that fateful day. He knew she hadn’t been surprised by his choice. Heck, now he knew she had known the decision he would make all along. Still she cried though, that day as he walked away. He knew now she hadn’t been crying from the shock of his decision that she was in fact, in mourning for the relationship they had lost a long time ago. It was just that neither of them had been willing to admit it though, until that day.

I'll bet you looked good at the altar
I'll bet he knew the words to say
And the angels smiled when you walked down the aisle
You both knelt down to pray
As he put his ring on your finger
I know there's just one thing left to say
All I can do is say I'm sorry
Sorry I missed your wedding day
So Sorry

I don’t even have to be there he thought to himself sadly as he rested his forehead on the wheel. He closed his eyes and let his mind drift. He knew her well enough to know exactly how it would be. She would look nothing less than lovely in a shimmery white satin gown. It would be elegant yet eccentric, or was extreme a better word to use because that was just her style.

Her hair would be cascading down her back in crimson flames. Her eyes would be glowing and her smile would be genuine. No one would have to ask her, they would just know, she was finally completely happy. He knew her step dad would be there to walk her down the isle. He would walk her down to begin her new life….. with her groom.

The groom was his brother, his partner, his compatriot, his friend; the one he had often referred to as the other part of his personality. He was the spontaneous one. He was always the one, who had such a way with words. The one who could freely express his emotions and his passion. He had tried so hard to hate him. After all he was living the life that should have been his. Should have been mine…. Would have been mine if I hadn’t been such and idiot, he thought to himself. He had tried to hate him, but failed miserably. He was just the better man; he could love her like she was meant to be loved. He could make her truly happy, and that’s something he, himself, could never do.

You won't be walking through the door anymore
You won't be sleeping in this bed anymore
Tho' I swear I see your shadow waltz accross my floor
And I don't know if I can take it
Should we ever meet again
Cause I know that we'll be strangers
When he introduces friends
I tried to make it to the church now baby
A broken heart got in the way

The doors opened then, and the bridal party spilled out of the small church, heralded by the chiming bell that topped the steeple. Everyone looked so happy. But after all it is a joyous occasion, he thought sadly. The crowd split and the couple made their way down the steps hand in hand. She stopped to kiss her mother and he stopped to hug his father. From where he was sitting in his parked car he could see that Adam and Jason had made it to the wedding. Shane and Shannon were there too, along with some of their old friends from the independent circuit. Everyone close to them had shown up to celebrate their happiness. Everyone, that was except for him.

I’m going to miss her so much he thought as he watched her hug her new father in law. Its just not going to be the same, none of us will ever be the same. Its over…over..over..over. The pain of loss and agony of defeat ran thought after thought through his brain as he watched the bride and groom finally reached their car and stopped for a final moment to talk to members of the crowd before heading to change clothes for the reception.

He knew he would miss little things about her the most. The way that she would smile at him when she walked in a room, the way she felt in his arms when he held her after they made love. The perfumed scent she left when she borrowed his jacket or snuggled with his pillow, those would be the things he would miss. Deep in his heart he knew that he only had himself to blame. She had given him a chance to love her; he had just chosen to love his career more. He would regret his decision forever because he knew now he would never see that look of love in her eyes again. At least he would never see it directed his way.

He dreaded the awkwardness he knew that he would feel at first whenever they ran into each other. She would no longer introduce him to people by saying, “This is my boyfriend” or “This is my best friend.” He would be simply reduced to being her brother in law.

When the happy couple drove away, he reached up and swiped a lone tear from his cheek. He knew in his heart he had no ill feelings towards her or his brother. He loved them both deeply. In a weird way he was even happy for them.

While he still loved her, he envied what she had with his brother. He suddenly felt lonely and wondered if he would ever have that kind of love again.

All I can do is tell you I'm sorry
Sorry I missed your wedding day

When the bridal car was out of sight and the crowd had started to disperse, he reached down and turned the key in the ignition. The engine roared to life and he pulled away from the curve. Sending a silent prayer heavenward he prayed for the strength to move on.

Casting one more look at the church and silently wishing the couple well he drove towards home. He had to pack, because while the happy couple would be off honeymooning, he had to go back out on the road.

He had to begin his singles career because Team Extreme was no more. The newlyweds would settle down in town and begin their life away from the wrestling world. He on the other hand, had made his choice, now all that was left for him to do was see it through.

I really hope you're happy baby
Tho' it's killing me to say
All I can do is say I'm sorry
Sorry I missed you're wedding day
Sorry I missed you're wedding
I'm sorry I missed you're wedding day
I'm sorry I missed you're wedding day
I'm sorry I missed you're wedding day