Chapter 9
know that?” he whispered. A shiver ran down my spine. His voice was completely different this time. And it scared me, in a way.
I opened my mouth to answer, but he put a finger on my lips to silence me. “Shh, you don’t have to answer,” he said. My heart was pounding a thousand miles a minute now. He leaned over closer until our lips almost touched each other. “May I kiss you?” he asked. I didn’t hear it; rather, I felt it. Before I could answer, he closed the distance between us in a passionate kiss. I felt a mixture of emotions surge through me as he caressed my lips with his own. And oh, how satisfying it felt, like something I’ve been looking for was right there all along.
For a few precious moments, I surprised myself by responding boldly to him, exploring his mouth in turn. But when the kiss deepened, my conscience started nagging at me. What are you doing—kissing a friend? Don’t do this to yourself—what if it doesn’t work out? It’ll be hard for you to be friends anymore—do you really want to take the risk of losing him as a friend? I pulled away from him. “No, we can’t do this,” I said shakily. I stood up and moved away from him.
“Why not?” he asked, surprised and embarrassed. I turned away.
“Because we’re friends,” I said lamely. He got up and walked over to me, but, I didn’t dare to let him come near enough to touch me—otherwise, I don’t know what could happen after that. “Um, it’s getting late,” I finished simply. “Let’s go back.” I felt guilty when I saw pain in his eyes. I didn’t let him explain his side of the story. But I couldn’t take the chance.
“I don’t think we’re friends anymore,” he said suddenly. “You know that. Ann, I felt something more when I kissed you. Even you can’t deny that.” I knew it in my heart, but for the sake of my job and his, I couldn’t have a relationship with him. I felt that, as a person working in the same business but a different field, I couldn’t afford a relationship.
I squared my shoulders and took a deep breath. “We can’t do this,” I repeated. I’ve never felt more confused in my life. “Jeff, we’re different,” I said firmly. “I just can’t be more than friends with you—for my own reasons,” I explained. “Please understand. I still want to be friends with you and let’s just forget about what happened,” I pleaded.
When he looked up at me, there was no warmth in his green eyes. Apparently, he did understand. He nodded. “Sure, it never happened,” he said with no emotion. We walked back to his car and zoomed off. Despite of what we said, there’s no denying that this issue between us wasn’t over—it was just the beginning. Our kisses, after all, said it all.