You Think You Know Me

Everyone thinks that the character I play on television, Edge, is who I am. But that is so far from who I am. When I go out to the ring I am loud, obnoxious, and full of myself. In reality I am the quiet and introverted Adam Copeland. When I go through the curtain separating backstage from the stage I change from Adam to Edge. Away goes the quiet man who reads books and wears glasses and the man who thinks he is the best wrestler on the planet and wears crazy tights and jackets enters.

“Come on Adam, it’s time to put in your contacts and get ready to go to the ring,” said my tag team partner and best friend Jason, better known in the ring as Christian.

“Okay. Sorry I am not ready to go yet,” I replied.

“Don’t worry about it. Are you coming with the to the club tonight?” Asked Jay.

“You know I don’t go to clubs any more!” I exclaimed.

“You have to let go of Lillie some day,” chided Jay.

“No I don’t have to ‘let go’. I can’t forget Lillie like she was some person I had just met and didn’t care about,” I said filled with memories.

I got ready to go to the ring as usual but I knew that I would not be the typical Edge tonight. I have too many memories running through my head. I went out to the ring with Jay and prepared to fight against our great friends Matt and Jeff Hardy. When I was in the ring moves that I usually counter easily I fell to. Jay tagged himself in and quickly won the match.

Backstage Matt and Jeff came up to us and asked me, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I answered.

“I made the mistake of asking him to go to the club with us tonight,” said Jay.

“What’s the problem with clubbing?” Asked Rob (Van Dam) joining the group.

“Nothing, unless you are Adam,” replied Jeff.

“Yeah, he hasn’t been clubbing since Lillie,” Jay said.

“Who’s Lillie?” Asked Rob, who is new to the WWF and our group.

“Fine if you want to know the whole story I will tell you!” I said with a frown. “But first let Jay and I change! Meet us in our locker room in half an hour.”

Everyone nodded as Jay and I headed to our locker room. We showered and changed into street clothes and I got a bottle of water to drink as I thought how I was going to tell the story and not break down. Finally Matt, Jeff, Chris, Rob, Lita, and Jay were settled on the floor.

“Why are you here?” I asked Matt, Jeff, and Jay.

“We know parts of the story, no one ever told us what had happened,” Matt and Jeff said.

“I am here to support you,” answered Jay.

“Okay, here I go. I have lived in the same town in Canada since I was born. In kindergarten there was a girl, Lillie, who was my best friend given that she was the only person I knew. We did everything together because our parents were friends. If you saw her I couldn’t be too far off and visa versa. This kept up for years, even when the boys had all decided girls had cooties; I was a friend to Lillie. In junior high things changed, Jay moved to town and I saw Lillie in a different light. I saw her less like a best friend and more like a girlfriend. I admitted my feelings and we started dating. We dated from 7th grade. Even when I went to wrestling school she came with me. She was as happy as I was when the WWF hired me. But one night after a show we went to a club and since I had a little too much to drink so Lillie was driving to the hotel. We never made it, a drunk driver crossed the yellow line and hit us head on. Lillie was killed instantly and I was in a coma for a month. I had 2 broken legs and a broken left arm. The doctors did not think I was going to live, much less wrestle again. Somehow I woke up and after months of rehab I was able to wrestle again so Vince offered me my job back. I was not the same man, Lillie was the reason I came out to the ring and was loud and obnoxious and without her I did not care to be the man she always loved. I did not want to be that man without Lillie there to celebrate with me. I did a total 180 I started watching people more and talking less. I didn’t want anything around me that reminded me of Lillie, I stopped going out in public after matches, I stopped drinking, and I have not been to a club in a year.”

“WOW, I did not know,” Rob said softly. “I would go crazy if I lost Lita (his girlfriend).

“I did not know that you had been dating since 7th grade,” Jeff said.

“I knew that you had been hurt but I did not know that you were not expected to live,” said Matt.

“Yeah, it’s amazing. I lived through a horrible accident and my girlfriend of 9 years died,” I said, my words dripping with sarcasm.

“Adam, you need to move on with your life, just because Lillie was killed doesn’t mean you should die too,” Jay told me.

“Whatever, I just want to go back to the hotel and relax. Are you coming with me or are you catching a ride with the guys,” I asked Jay.

“I will catch a ride with Matt and Jeff. You can leave for the hotel,” Jay told me.

I left the locker room and headed to the car Jay and I rented. I got behind the wheel and I began to cry. All of the memories of Lillie that I had kept hidden came pouring out. I hated showing weakness like this but I could not help it. At least no one was around to see me. After I had told my story I really had lost my will to live. It just dredged up old memories and reminded me that Lillie was not here to keep me going. I was found a pad of paper to write my goodbyes to everyone. I just wanted to end everything and be with Lillie. As I was writing what I wanted to be my final words one of the newer wrestler/valets, Melissa, came up to the car. Melissa was the valet and sister of Chris Jericho (Irvine). She knocked on the window of my car and I unlocked the passenger door for her to get in. She got in and looked at me.

“What do you want, Melissa?” I asked.

“I saw your car and I knew that you left the locker room in a hurry about 30 minutes ago,” Melissa replied. “I just wanted to know why you were still in the parking lot if you were in such a hurry.”

“How did you know when I left?” I asked her suspiciously.

“I went in to ask Chris for a ride to the hotel and he said that he was going to a club and I did not want to go. I just want to go back to the hotel. Chris said maybe you would still be here and would give me a ride,” she replied.

“Lucky me, I get to chauffer Chris’ little sister to the hotel and make sure she is okay,” I said with sarcasm.

“No, I just want a ride to the hotel and I promise to leave you alone,” Melissa said glaring at me.

“Actually, I don’t want you to leave me alone. I was having some thoughts in the car,” I told her.

“When I came up I noticed that you were writing something and that you have been crying,” she observed.

“I will tell you, I was thinking about going to the hotel and killing myself. I was writing my suicide note,” I said softly to Melissa.

“You can’t kill yourself; too many people depend on you” Melissa told me.

“Thank you for saying that, I am falling in a depression because of a conversation that I had tonight,” I told her.

“What was the conversation about?” Melissa asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said softly.

Melissa nodded and said “Let’s just go back to the hotel and relax.”

I agreed and started the car and began to drive toward the hotel where the WWF was staying. I did not want to into details so I told her the short version.

“It was about my old girlfriend who was killed in a car wreck and how I should go on with life,” I said.

“Sounds miserable.”

“It was. I drug out so many memories about who I used to be and who I am now that I can’t stand it. That is why I was going to kill myself,” I said with remorse for my thoughts. “I just wanted to end all of the pain I felt. Also I wanted to see my Lillie again. I am sick of hearing how I need to move on with life.”

“I would not even know what that is like. I have moved around so much that the only person I know with any certainty is Chris. That is what I love about working in the WWF I am getting to travel, which I enjoy, and I get to be around the same people every day. I get to make the friendships that I never got as a child,” Melissa said to me.

We arrived at the hotel and got our gear out of the back. Just as she was going to her room I asked “would you come back to my room with me? Kind of a slumber party together, we wear our PJ’s and talk. I really think that you are the reason I did not kill myself tonight.”

“That sounds wonderful. The only person in the WWF I have had a chance to get to know very well is Chris. I would like getting to know you. What room are you in? I will be there in 10 minutes in my PJ’s and I’ll come with food,” Melissa said to me.

“I am in 454 and I will get drinks for us and I’ll be in my PJ’s in 10, Missa,” I answered.

“No one has ever called me Missa before. It has always been plain Melissa,” she said to me with a smile.

“It’s about time you got a nickname then,” I told her.

I went to the soda machine and got 2 Dr. Peppers and took them to my room. I got my flannel pants and an old E&C shirt out of my bag and put them on. I turned the TV on and then there was a knock at my door. I opened it and saw Missa standing there.

“Here I am. I come with food; I have baked Pringles, Junior Mints, and pizza” she said setting it down on the table in my room.

“I like the flannel pants you have on,” I said with a laugh.

“I can’t believe that we have the same pants. That’s scary. But I have a better shirt, Y2J is my favorite,” she said smiling back.

“I would hope so, being that he is your brother,” I joked.

“I left a note in case Chris gets back to the room before I do,” Missa told me.

“Sounds great don't want to worry big brother,” I said.

We settled on the bed with our pizza and soda to watch TV. We found the movie Hook with Robin Williams and began to watch. About half way through Missa fell asleep and I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek and wrapped my arms around her. I felt something I had not felt since Lillie, it was love. I fell asleep with Missa in my arms. I stayed asleep until I heard a loud pounding on the door. Jay was in the room so he went and opened the door. An irate Chris Irvine came in. He came to the bed where I was waking up. He began yelling that I had stolen his sister and I was a terrible friend.

I turned to Chris and said, “your sister saved my life. I was sitting in the parking lot contemplating suicide when she came out and talked me out of it. I realized while I was watching the movie with her I was in love with her. You all told me to move on with life and I think that I am ready to do that with Missa.”

After hearing this Chris and Jay looked very ashamed and apologetic. Chris said, “I am sorry that I was so upset at you I thought that my sister was going to be taken advantage of by you but I was mistaken. I am happy that you are in love with my sister and if you ever hurt her I will kick your ass until there is nothing left.”

“I am happy that you have found someone you feel safe with to begin to move on with life,” Jay told me with a smile.

“I can’t believe that you love me. No one has ever said that to me. I have never lived in a place long enough to fall in love. But tonight I have discovered what true love is. Thanks Adam,” Melissa said.

“Could I keep Missa in my room for tonight?” I asked Chris.

“Sure, just remember my warning about hurting her,” Chris told me.

“What is with calling her Missa?” Asked Jay.

“She said that she never had a nickname before because no one ever knew her well enough to give her a nickname,” I explained.

Finally Chris and Jay left to go back to Chris’ room so Melissa and I could have the room to ourselves. We sat down on the bed and started talking again since we were wide-awake again. We talked about how we admitted our love for each other and how we had no experience in dating. I clarified that I had never gone on real dates with Lillie. We always together from the time we were 3. We did not know how to be alone; it was not like we didn’t go places. We went everywhere together but it was just like old times. We were not romantic, since Lillie was a tomboy, when we went out for meals it was not to the most expensive place or the most romantic it was to the fast food places or our favorite restaurant, Cracker Barrel.

Then Missa explained that the longest she had lived in one place was 4 months, because her dad was a hockey player and her mom did not want to be away from her dad while he traveled. When her dad retired he wanted to keep traveling so they kept moving. After 5th grade she was home schooled with Chris. She finished school the same time as Chris, in about 5 years. Then they both went to junior college and got degrees, Chris’ in journalism and hers in accounting. Then while Chris was training to be a wrestler she worked in an accounting firm in New York. When Chris got a contract with the WCW he invited her to go come on the road with him and be his personal accountant. She accepted and quickly discovered that she loved wrestling. Chris started training her and then sent her to the WCW training camp. She stayed there for a year and when she got out Chris was in the WWF and she decided to go there and visit. When Chris introduced her to Vince and told him about her recent training he made her Chris’ valet. Then she started working out with the Hardy’s and Lita on her off time in the WWF. They taught her the high-flying moves and she was ready to join the women’s division. Her wrestling debut was on Smackdown this Thursday where she would be wrestling Stacy Keebler.

We were going to go to sleep but when we stopped talking and we looked at the clock it was 5:00 am and the bus was leaving at 6:30 am. It was Vince’s idea that all wrestlers travel together on a bus. Everyone stayed in the same hotel and got on the bus to go to the next destination in the morning. It cut down on the problems of missing shows and renting enough cars for everyone. The only way not to be on the bus was to have a reason to be going home for a rest. So Missa and I started getting ready to go, we got showers and dressed in our comfortable traveling clothes. For me that meant warm up pants, t-shirt, and sneakers. Missa was wearing a pair of jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers. After getting ready we went to the lobby of the hotel to wait for the bus to arrive and Vince to get there and take roll. Missa was so tired she fell asleep on my shoulder in the lobby. Chris came up to us and saw that his sister was asleep. He asked if I wanted to get up and let him hold her, I said no that I was fine, we just stayed up too long talking and that I would fall asleep on the bus. Then the bus got to the parking lot and Vince stood outside as everyone stowed gear under the bus and was checked off on the master list of superstars as they got on the bus. First I had Chris sit and hold Missa’s head while I stowed our things under the bus and then I put my bag on my shoulder and picked up Missa and carried her to the bus. Vince saw us together and just smiled. I settled Missa in a seat and put her seatbelt on her. Chris and Jay got in front of us and sat down for the ride to the next town where we would put on Smackdown. I got out my CD player and put the headphones on my ears and fell asleep. Jay woke me up when we got to the destination and Chris woke Missa up.

“Where are we?” Asked a sleepy Melissa.

“We are in Phoenix,” answered Jay.

“That’s nice. Can I go back to sleep now? I didn’t get any sleep last night, Missa talks too much,” I said.

“I do not talk too much. Every time I was ready to go to sleep we would both start talking about our lives again,” Missa explained to Chris and Jay.

“Everyone off the bus and check in to your hotel rooms. If you want a car I have 20 rentals, first come, and first serve. And don’t forget the meeting at the arena at 3:00 pm today,” Vince said smiling all of us.

Missa, Chris, Jay, Matt, Jeff, and I stood up in the bus and got our gear out. It was Matt’s turn to get the rental car for the group so he went to get the keys from Vince as the rest of us went to get our room assignments from Linda. Linda always arranged for Matt and Jeff to share a room, Chris and Melissa in another, and Jay and I close by, but today we were going to share a suite, 3 bedrooms and a living room. This was going to be interesting, Matt, Jeff, Jay, and Chris liked to go out clubbing until all hours of the night but Missa and I were quieter and didn’t like big groups. We all smiled and thanked Linda for giving us a suite. Matt came back with the good news that we had a Suburban to get us around Phoenix, Arizona for the next 2 days.

We went to our suite and put our things in our rooms and went to the living room to relax. We had some time before we went to the arena for the meeting where we found out our matches and the plans for that week.

“What do you want to do for the rest of the morning and early afternoon?” Asked Jay.

“I think that we should go somewhere together?” Matt suggested.

“Bowling would be fun, we could have some fun and cut loose,” Chris said.

“I would rather just stay here and read,” I said to everyone.

“Come on Adam. You can come and have fun with us, it won’t kill you” Jeff kidded me.

“Will you come if I do?” Asked Missa quietly.

“Okay, I will come if you will not bug me again and if I can bowl with Missa,” I said grinning at the group.

Everyone was happy that I was going to come with the group. I hadn’t been out with the gang since I had came back to the WWF. I guess love makes you do things that you wouldn’t normally do.

We went downstairs to the Suburban and went to the bowling alley. Missa and I were sitting in the back of the Suburban and I had a plan to get us out of bowling with the guys. While the guys were getting their shoes and bowling balls we would sneak off. As we pulled up to the bowling alley I saw a Barnes and Noble Bookstore, that would be a perfect place to hang out since we both love to read. Everyone got out of the car and I nodded at Missa and then the bookstore, she agreed and we snuck off from the guys. We went in the bookstore and wandered though the shelves and I saw a book of poetry. It was not anything special; it was the sonnets of William Shakespeare. I remembered from last night that Melissa loved Shakespeare's’ sonnets so I bought the book without Missa seeing me. While she was still looking at books I went to a table and I began to write. I wrote of my love for her and how much she means to me. I poured my heart out on the paper. Then I saw her coming towards my table so I closed the book and laid it in front of the other chair. She sat down and picked up the book, she opened the cover and read my inscription. When she looked up she had tears in her eyes.

“Damn you Adam. I never cry, I have never gotten close enough to someone to have emotional attachments so you writing this to me makes me miserable,” Missa said tearfully.

I leaned over and kissed her softly. I looked at her and said, “I know it hurts to love but I mean every word I have written.”

“I love you too, Adam,” Missa said leaning over to kiss me again.

We looked at our watches and saw that it was time for lunch. We went to a small restaurant in the mall, it wasn’t fancy but it was good food. When we finished lunch we saw that if we didn’t get back to the bowling alley we would be late for the meeting and not have a ride to the arena. We came running up to the Suburban just as Matt, Jeff, Jay, and Chris were opening their doors to get in. They looked at us strangely but allowed us to get in.

“Where did you two sneak off?” Asked Jay.

“We went to Barnes and Noble for a while then out to lunch,” Missa replied.

“We decided that bowling was not for us and we were going to have some fun in our own way,” I added.

“Sounds like fun. Anything exciting happen?” Asked Chris.

“It was a lot of fun, I got to know Missa better and we had a wonderful lunch,” I said with a smile.

“Are you ready for the meeting and practice?” Asked Matt.

“Yes, I will have my last night as a valet tonight,” Missa said. “Tomorrow I will have my first televised match.”

“I know, I am so nervous for you,” I said. “I know that wrestling hurts, I have bumps, bruises, and cuts everyday.”

“Don’t worry about me, I will be fine,” Missa said to me quietly.

We arrived at the arena and got into seats for the meeting. Vince came out and said, “the matches are posted in the back and scripts for promos are in my office. If you have any questions I will be in my office at the end of the hall.”

We went to see the list and Jay and I had to pick up scripts from Vince so I kissed Missa good-bye and I said “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

Jay saw the kiss and said as we were walking to Vince’s office, “you look like you are getting serious with Missa.”

“I am. What you don’t know is that Missa saved my life on Saturday.”

“What?” Jay exclaimed.

“On Saturday I was sitting in the car writing a suicide note and contemplating how I was going to kill myself when Missa came to the car and knocked on the window. She wanted to know why I was still sitting in the parking lot and if she could get a ride to the hotel with me. I didn’t tell her the story of Lillie but I said that I was going to kill myself and she saved me. We went to my room and talked for the rest of the night. She told me how she had never stayed in a place for very long and had never gotten to know anyone very well. When Chris woke us we admitted we were in love with each other.”

“Sounds good. I like the idea that Melissa saved your life, because if you were dead I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. I am happy that you are finally getting over Lillie,” Jay said to me.

“I am really beginning to move on from Lillie,” I said as we arrived at Vince’s office.

We got our scripts and went back to the locker room where Chris, Matt, Jeff, Rob, Missa, and Lita were. They were talking about what they were going to do after Raw. Missa and I looked at each other and smiled, we knew what we wanted to do. We were going to go back to the hotel and talk some more. After a few minutes we had to get into our ring gear and cut our promos. Chris and Missa were going to the ring and making Stacy and Bubba Ray Dudley mad at them. It would begin the feud with Missa and Stacy. Jay and I were going to cut a promo with Matt and Jeff for our match that night. Rob was going to fight the Undertaker that night and he didn’t have a promo for it so he came with us. That was the fun stuff before we had to go to the ring and practice for Raw. The rehearsal and Raw went without hitch, matches were timed perfectly and no one was injured.

After Raw everyone went his or her separate ways, Rob, Chris, Matt, Jeff, Jay, and Lita were going clubbing and Missa and I were going back to the hotel. We sat in the living room of our suite and began talking. We talked about everything; it was exciting for us to get to know each other better.

At 11:00 pm we were tired so we went to our rooms. I got a wonderful idea. Since I was serious about Missa I wanted to take her to two places in my hometown, my mother’s house and to Lillie’s grave. I wanted my new girlfriend to meet the first love of my life and my best friend. This could be done on our next day off if I could convince her to come home with me. The next morning I got up early so I could call my mom before Missa got up and heard me on the phone.

“Hi Mom. I called for an important favor,” I said to my mom on the phone.

“Hi Adam. You sound happy, what do you need?” She asked.

“I want to bring someone home to meet you,” I said avoiding the subject.

“Who? You know I don’t care if you bring the guys’ home, I have met Jeff, Matt, Rob, Chris, and Lita. I have known Jay so long that he is part of the family,” Mom said.

“It isn’t one of the guys Mom. It is a girl,” I said softly.

“A girl! That’s great Adam, I am happy that you are bringing a girl home to meet me. What‘s her name?” she exclaimed.

“Her name is Melissa. She is Chris’ sister. She has been trained as a wrestler and she works as a valet for Chris. I met her a few weeks ago but on Saturday I got to know her better. If you watch Smackdown on Thursday she will be fighting Stacy Keebler,” I replied.

“That is great! You must be getting serious if you want me to meet her,” Mom said.

“I am. I want you to meet her and I want to take her to Lillie’s grave and show her my best friend and first love,” I said.

“That is wonderful. When will you be getting home?” Mom asked.

“We don’t have any time off this week since we had Raw last night, Smackdown tonight, then on to house shows on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Then next week we will have Raw and Smackdown on Monday and Tuesday and Missa and I have the house shows off. So we should be home on Wednesday of next week,” I said.

“Sounds fantastic! I will see you then,” Mom said to me.

“Bye! Talk to you soon,” I said as I hung the phone up.

“Who was on the phone?” Asked Missa.

“No one,” I said.

“So you talk to yourself now,” Missa said.

“Okay, don’t get an attitude. I was talking to my mother. I was telling her that I wanted to bring you home to meet her,” I said.

“Sounds good to me. When do you want me to meet her?” Missa asked.

“Since we have next week off after Smackdown taping on Tuesday I was wondering if you would like to come home then,” I asked.

“Sure. I would love to meet your mom. She has to be a great person to have raised such an awesome son,” Missa said to me.

We went to our separate rooms and got into our workout clothes because we had practice for Smackdown in a few minutes.

A few minutes later we met in the living room of the suite and waited for everyone to finish getting ready to go. As Missa and I were sitting there I leaned over and gave her a kiss. At that moment her brother came in and said, “don’t you guys have any self-respect?”

We quickly broke apart and I said, “Yes we do. I was just giving her a kiss.”

“We were waiting on you slow pokes to get ready to go to the arena, we have to be there in an hour,” Missa said. I also won’t be coming home next week.”

“Why?” Chris asked.

“I am going to Canada to meet Adam’s mom,” she replied.

“Sounds serious!” Chris joked.

“No! I am just going to meet his mom because he asked me to,” Missa explained.

Matt, Jeff, Rob, and Lita came out to the room and saw the confrontation. Matt said, “sorry to break up the conversation but we need to get to the arena. You can continue this in the car.”

“That’s all right, we were done anyway,” I said.

“No we weren’t,” Chris said angrily.

“I am an adult and I can make my own decisions,” Missa said irritably.

“I know that but I am still your big brother and I have trouble accepting it,” Chris said to Missa and I apologetically.

“Thank you. I appreciate the fact that you trust your sister and me” I responded.

“I am happy that you realize I am a big girl now. I will help you out with the fact that I can decide what I want to do,” Missa said to Chris with a smile and a hug.

We left the room and got in the Suburban. When we got to the arena Vince told us that whenever we were ready to rehearse the ring was ready for us.

Things were fun for the rest of the week and the beginning of the next week. All of our group hung out and had fun. Then Smackdown was taped for the next week and while everyone else went out to party we went to our hotel room and packed up our stuff because our flight was leaving at 7 am the next morning. When we landed in Canada my mom found us before we could even think about finding her.

“Adam! I haven’t seen you in so long that I may not have recognized you if you weren’t my son,” my mom said teasingly.

“Mom! I haven’t changed in the month since I came home last,” I told her.

“This must be Melissa;” my mom said extending her hand.

“Yes ma’am,” she replied.

“None of this ma’am stuff I am Mom. All of the wrestlers call me Mom so you will too,” Mom said.

“Let’s go! I am ready to go home and relax,” I said.

We got in my mom’s car and went home. I unpacked my things and showed Missa where she would be staying.

“This is great,” she said looking at my room.

“I know, it was decorated by me,” I said.

“A little of that Edge charm is coming back, I see,” Mom said.

“Yes, now that I know that someone is there for me, I am returning to my old self,” I said.

Missa just stood there looking completely confused. So I explained, “since Lillie died I was a quiet shell of myself. I did not want to remind myself of what Lillie loved me for, my outspoken and talkative nature. Since I have gotten to know you, you have made me see that I can be the person I used to be. That person is very similar to whom I act like in the ring, just to let you know. Lillie helped me to come up with my character and that was who I was in and out of the ring for the most part. I wanted to change my character after her death but Jay convinced me to be Edge in memory of Lillie.”

“I am honored that you think enough of me to allow me into your life in this way,” Missa said.

“It is more than thinking a lot of you; I love you” I said leaning over to kiss her.

“I love you too Adam,” Missa said.

“Missa, I have one more place I want to take you and one more person I want you to meet,” I said the next morning after breakfast.

“Who?” Missa asked.

“Her, I want to take you to Lillie’s grave and let you meet her. When I am really depressed and need someone to talk to I go to her grave and pour my heart out and she listens and doesn’t judge,” I said softly to Missa as I showed her Lillie‘s picture.

“I am flattered that you would share this special place with me,” Missa told me.

“I want you to meet my best friend and first love and get to know her,” I said.

“Thanks,” Missa said.

We got in the car and went to the cemetery. I introduced Missa to Lillie and I began to talk to Lillie.

“I love her, Lillie. It is not like I am forgetting you it is more like I can’t wait until I die to be with you and I really like Missa and I know that you would love her like I do if you were here to meet her,” I said.

Missa stood off to the side and out of hearing while I talked to Lillie and after I was done I laid a white rose down on the grave and walked to where she was standing.

“Adam, I think that I am going to talk to Lillie myself and I would like to do it on my own,” Missa told me.

“Okay, I will walk back to the car and wait,” I said.

Missa talked to Lillie for a few minutes and when she was done I felt a great relief. Missa didn’t think I was crazy and she seemed to understand. Missa got in the car and I looked at her as I was driving back to my house.

“What are you thinking?” I asked Missa.

“I am happy that you loved Lillie. I was nervous that you were unable to let her go. But after you talked to her I felt a sense of relief and a sense of you letting go of the memories of Lillie. I am not sure that you love me like you loved her but I know that you are going to be true to me,” Missa said.

“I understand what you are talking about, after talking to Lillie I felt the same sense of relief. I will always love her but you are right it is not the same type of love that I have for you,” I said to Missa.

I was not driving back home and Missa noticed that.

“Where are we going?” Missa asked.

“To another special place that no one knows about,” I said.

I was driving to a clearing in the woods that I had gone many times to think and contemplate the things that I was having trouble with. But this time I had a different plan. When we got there I helped Missa sit down on a blanket I had brought and I got down on one knee. I pulled out a ring and said, as I slipped it on her finger, “I know it has not been long since we met but I feel like you were sent to me for one reason. That is to be near me and teach me to love again. Melissa Ann Irvine, will you marry me?”

Melissa looked shocked and stunned but she looked deep into my eyes and said, “yes I will marry you Adam.”

I was so happy that I was learning to love again and I was going to be married to Missa. This was a wonderful day and one of the few I was never going to forget. The next one was going to come in a few weeks, our wedding.

We decided to get married on the day after Wrestle Mania, it seemed like a good idea at the time. That was before Vince announced TLC 4. It was going to be a singles match between Edge, Christian, Matt, and Jeff for the Intercontinental and European Championships. I had experience in the TLC matches and I was worried that I would not be able to get married the next day, but after talking things out with Missa we decided to keep the date. The closer things got to Wrestle Mania and the wedding the worse I got. But somehow everything was set for the wedding and Jay, Matt, Jeff, and I were ready for the TLC match. We had practiced for weeks and finally the big day arrived.

I got ready to go to the ring and before I left Missa kissed me and whispered “I love you now and forever. Don‘t worry about me and please don‘t get hurt tonight.”

Then she made our symbol for love, the 2-finger kiss and salute. I said, “I love you now and for the rest of time. I can’t promise I will be uninjured but I will try.”

Then I went to the stage and as I walked out to the ring I made the symbol to the camera and mouthed the words I love you. Then out came Christian, Matt, and Jeff. We fought back and forth with our hands. Then Jeff decided to take the match to the air and got out a ladder. I saw this and got a chair to fight back. Christian and Matt were outside the ring and taking it to each other. Jeff saw me coming at him with the chair and jumped from the ladder at me with his feet straight out aiming at the chair at my chest. I didn’t realize that until it was too late. Jeff hit the chair and it came up and hit me in the head. Seeing Jeff come at me was the last thing I remember from the ring. Jay told me later that I was knocked unconscious and he saw this and rolled me out of the ring, to the floor. When I came to I was in the back, on the trainers table, with the trainer shining a light in my eyes.

“Where am I? What happened?” I asked, very confused and trying to sit up.

“You tell me,” the trainer said pushing me back down.

Things started coming back to me. So I said, “I am in Washington DC, for Wrestle Mania, and I am Adam Copeland, better known as Edge.”

“Very good. I still think that you have a concussion and possibly a broken nose and eye sockets and you need to go to the hospital to be checked out. But if I don’t let this young lady in she will lay the smackdown on me and then her brother will help,” the trainer said.

In came Missa, looking very relieved that I was alive.

“Don’t sit up, Adam, you know the consequences,” the trainer warned.

“Okay, I don’t feel like puking all over my bride to be so I will be good,” I said. “Hello sweetie.”

“Don’t ever do that to me again! I had to go out to the ring with Chris and act like I really gave a care about who won the match. While the only thing I could think of was if my fiancee was going to be able to make it to the wedding tomorrow,” Missa yelled at me.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to get hit in the face with a chair and knocked unconscious,” I said.

Just then Matt, Jeff, Jay, and Chris came in to see me.

“Now that my sister has seen that you are not dead, we decided to come in to see you,” Chris said.

“I came to say that I am very sorry that I hit you. I thought you were going to fall and I was not going to hit you but it was not the way it happened,” Jeff rambled.

“Calm down, Skittles. I am fine or the trainer thinks that I am. I have to go to the hospital to see if I cracked my scull, nose, or eye sockets. But I am okay,” I said.

“I don’t think Melissa should be driving, so how are you going to get to the hospital?” Jay asked.

“I think that we (indicating Jeff, Jay, Chris, and Melissa) should drive the Suburban and put Adam in the back,” Matt said.

The group nodded their agreement. The trainer came in and said that I should get to the hospital and go back to the hotel for some rest. As I sat up I began to feel quite nauseous so Jay and Chris got on each side of me and helped me to the car. Missa went to the locker room and got our things. Everyone else had his or her things in the car. We made it to the car and I only had to stop once to puke. Jay helped me lay down across the back of the Suburban and he got a blanket to cover me. I laid down and waited for the car to arrive at the hospital where I knew I would be subjected to about an hours worth of x rays and another half hour of waiting for the doctor to tell me I was okay.

At the hospital things were exactly what I thought, an hour in radiology getting x-rays of my head and face to see if I had broken anything. But since it was late the doctor came quickly to explain that I had a broken nose, orbital bones, and a severe concussion.

When Missa found out I would not be getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time all night she volunteered to sit with me.

“You don’t have to sit with me. You should be getting sleep for the wedding tomorrow,” I said.

“No, if you have to be tired tomorrow so will I,” Missa said to me.

So Jay and Chris helped me back to the car and took us to the hotel. Everyone went to his or her rooms to get some sleep for the big day tomorrow. Missa set the alarm to wake us up every 2 hours for the rest of the night. So when the alarm went off at 7 am we got up and got ready to get married. I looked at my face for the first time I looked great. I had 2 black eyes and a black and blue nose that was swollen to twice its usual size.

“How can you stand to look at me?” I asked Missa as she was going to the bathroom to get a shower.

“You look fine,” she said.

“I look like my face was run over by a truck,” I said.

“Your face looks fine, just swollen and you look really tired,” Missa said lovingly.

“Nothing will change my feelings for you so if you can marry me when I look my worst I’ll do it,” I said.

We finished getting ready and went down to the hall where we were going to hold the wedding. Everyone was waiting for us to get down there and start the wedding. I walked to the front of the church where the minister and my best man, Jay were waiting for me. Then came Melissa and her brother who was walking her down the aisle because their dad was getting too old and could not make it to the wedding. Amy was the person who Missa had chosen to be her bridesmaid. The minister married us and we were the two happiest people in the world. At the reception my mom cornered me and wanted to know what happened to my face. I explained to everyone in attendance that had not heard I had broken my nose and eye sockets but I would be fine for the honeymoon. We partied until Missa and I were ready to go up to our room where we would actually sleep tonight since I could go to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. The next morning we got up to leave for our honeymoon, which was a cruise to Jamaica where we would stay for a week. Then we were going back to our jobs in the WWF. Our relationship may not have started out on the happiest of notes but it sure was happy now.