Chapter 18
Just then Jeff decided he would pop his head over the seat.
"Hey, why's it so quiet up hear, not telling secrets are you?" He asked with a little kid voice.
"What if we are?" I asked with seriousness.
"No, fair, tell me too." He joked again.
We laughed at this third grade imitation.
"Sorry, guys, I'm just feeling way too cooped up on this plane, I'm going to go crazy soon." He told us, folding his arms as he propped himself up on the backs of our seats.
"Hey, Amy, wanna switch seats? I don't feel like sitting with Matt anymore, he's boring back here." Jeff said.
"Hey, I resent that. What do you want me to do, get out in the aisle and sing and dance?" I heard Matt's voice say from behind me.
"Yeah, I'll switch with ya." Amy spoke up, after we had all laughed at Matt.
"Thanks." Jeff said, with sweetness in his eyes.
Jeff slid into the seat next to me and got comfortable.
"So, are you enjoying your flight?" He asked.
"Ah, it's okay, I'm not real fond of planes, especially when Gabriel is in the back in that cabin for animals." I said, sort of becoming itchy myself.
"Yeah, we'll be there soon, one more hour to go." Jeff said, checking his silver watch.
"Something else is bothering you, I can tell, do you want to talk about it?" He asked, seeing my disturbed look.
"I'm fine, really." I said, turning to look out my window again.
"Maria, I know you better than that, please tell me what is making you feel uneasy." Jeff pried.
"Maria, I'm going to tell you something, keeping these emotions hidden will only make it worse, on top of that, as a wrestler you must stay focused, you can't have other things on your mind, that's how injuries are occur." Jeff almost pleaded.
"Okay," I sighed and ventured into my tale.
"Yesterday night Matt and I almost kissed while we were sitting there in the arena all alone. Just as you guys came in." I said first.
Jeff nodded.
"Well ever since then, its been driving me crazy. I don't know how to handle all of this, its actually all knew to me." I said.
"Keep going, I want to hear all of the information about it first, then I will try to help you with your problem.." Jeff said, sounding like a psychiatrist.
"All right, as a child, and all the way into my early adulthood, I've never been a people person. I've always like shutting out the world and being by myself. Which means I've never actually had a boyfriend. It never used to bother me, I just always shut people out and would never let them too close to me. I thought my life was supposed to be like that. I had thought that I was meant to live alone with my dog and never get married and have a family. As I ended college, it was easier and easier to put feelings for men behind me. I had my writing to keep me busy and I thought it would keep me content forever, but I was wrong. As soon as I came here, Matt sparked something inside me that has been suppressed for many years and I don't know how to handle myself around him. Half the time I want him close to me and other times I just want to shut him out like I do to everyone else. I've just always figured that if I got too close to someone I would end up hurting myself in the long run, so I just became defensive and slightly cold towards anyone who had made an attempt to get to know me or be close to me. I feel like a scared little girl who is trying to handle the overwhelming power of loving a person so deeply it aches." I ended my dramatic speech to Jeff who was trying to process the information as fast as I was saying it.
"Whoa..." was all Jeff could say at first.
"Well, you wanted to hear it." I told him with a smile.
"I can tell you right now, I wasn't prepared to help you with this one, but I know I can." He replied, turning and looking at me with bright eyes.
"You know what, I don't think you have to worry about this one, he already loves you the same, if not more. I just think its a matter of expressing it to each other. Please promise me you won't kill yourself over this, it will work out perfectly, trust me." He said with a reassuring grin.
"Well, with a statement like that how could I not? Thanks Jeff, I'm glad you're here to talk to." I smiled and gave him a big hug.
"Anytime, anytime, miss Maria." He replied.
"I really do feel a lot better talking about all of that, I feel more "focused" now." I said, as I relaxed for the first time since I had met Jeff and Matt.
Chapter 19
Chapter 17