Chapter 39
"Owww, that hurts!" Matt said in pain as Amy set a bag of ice on Matt's already bruising eye.
"Well, what do you want me to do, Matt, it's going to hurt for the next couple of days, suck it up!" She scolded his whininess. It's all your fault we got into this mess any way."
"My fault, you kissed back, it wasn't all me!" Matt said loudly from his position on my bed. He was lying flat on his back with an ice pack still soothing his stinging eye.
"Don't even start with me Matt, don't even start. It is way too early in the morning for this, I don't have the patience! Your eye will heal, but right now we have bigger things to worry about. Two doors away we have two people who care about us more then anything, those wounds are the ones that won't heal so quickly." She gestured her hand toward the room where Jeff and I were sitting.
"Don't you think I know that already?! I don't know what I am going to do..." Matt's voice trailed off in helplessness.
"Me either, me either..." Amy answered.
"Well, the best thing we can do is to talk it out with them so we all have our feelings out in the open." Matt said.
"Good point." Amy said, helping Matt off the bed and to his feet.
The two walked down the sidewalk and gave a slight knock on the wooden door. "Can we come in and talk?" Amy asked through the door.
From the inside, I replied, "Yes." I quickly looked over at Jeff who remained silent and expressionless.
The two came in. I avoided eye contact with Matt as he came over to where I had been lounging. He stayed quiet, but took my hand and stood me to my feet. He walked me outside to where the jeep was parked and instructed me to get in it. Matt hopped into the drivers seat and sped away down the dirt road. I watched out my window as we drove through the countryside. The sun had begun to rise over a golden field that was wrapped with a low fog. The brilliant suns rays were a mix of pink and orange near the horizon, then faded into indigo where the stars were still glittering. I sighed to myself as the beautiful scene and had almost forgotten my anger towards Matt.
Suddenly my trance was broken at the sound of the car's motor being turned off. I looked out the front window and saw that Matt had brought me back to the lake where we had first confessed our feelings for each other. A slow smile came across my face. I then turned to look at Matt for the first time since Jeff had nailed him in the eye.
"Come on, let's stretch a little." His deep southern drawl said quietly.
I nodded and got out. We joined each other in front of the car, then proceeded to walk to the willow tree where we sat only a few days before. We both took seats and listened to the birds awaken around us. Matt studied the lake while I studied him. Matt's left eye was now purple and blue in color, but surprisingly not too swollen. His other eye looked tired and frustrated from the surrounding situation. At that moment he reached up with his hand and rested in on the bridge of his nose, closing both eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath and letting out a sigh. I still continued to watch him. After letting out his sigh, he reached up with both hands and ran his fingers through his thick dark curly hair, down to where it was fastened into a ponytail with a rubber band. He rested his hands there and leaned back against the tree.
I could tell he was having a conversation with himself, thinking about a ton of things all at once. I too, had been thinking some thoughts of my own as I studied him. I had been asking myself the same question, over and over, and kept arriving at the same conclusion. Did I truly love this man that sat before me? Every time I tried to find something wrong with my answer, I always found something else right, that blew the negative out of the water. I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, but now wasn't the time, or should I say, the right time. There were too many things that we each wanted to pursue on our own. I had wanted to become a successful author; he had just begun his wrestling career. We were in different stages of life, and we couldn't be together. At that moment I felt my eyes become wet with tears. I didn't reach up and wipe them away; I just let them silently roll down my cheeks. I wasn't even upset about the kiss anymore. It was pointless to worry about something so minor when other things of the moment were soo much more important.
My quiet crying broke Matt's trance. He abruptly turned and placed his arms tightly around me. For the first time, we spoke to each other. "Oh, Maria, I am soo sorry about all of this, I just wish I could erase all of it and start over." He whispered, stroking my hair.
"No, Matthew, it was all supposed to happen this way, for a reason and it made me realize that everything is soo much more important than that stupid kiss between you and Amy. Matthew, I have given a lot of thought to this and I love you more than you'll ever know, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life, but now is not the right time for us. We are in different stages of our lives and we need to pursue those things first." I said it all in one breath.
"No, Maria, it's not that way at all, we need to be there for each other through pursuing our dreams. I don't want to go through it alone, I want you to be there cheering me on. Maybe not from ringside, but backstage or somewhere close by. I want you to be there for me to talk to, helping me through frustration and injuries. Just as I want to be there for you as you write your novels, or script write for the WWF, if you choose to stay that route. I want to be there to encourage you and to be the first to read the things you write. We can't end this now; we've only just begun to be in each other's lives." Matt told me, his eyes also beginning to brim with uncertain tears. "I love you Maria, just as you love me. I just can't see putting an end to this when we have come so far in only a short period of time. I have never been more certain about anything in my life. Maria, please don't run away from this. You have told me before how you have shut people and relationships out of your life, give this a chance, let yourself experience something new."
Chapter 40
Chapter 38