Chapter 40
"I can't Matt, I just can't bring myself to stay with you right now. Matt you have opened a whole new world for me, and I am glad I have experienced what I did, but it hurts...it hurts...." my voice broke down, as the tears poured from eyes.
"Maria, why does it have to hurt, you are not making any sense to me..." Matt tried to understand my emotions. He hugged me closer to his body and rubbed his hands over my shoulders for comfort.
"Matt, I just can't let myself get too close, because I know I will end up getting hurt in the long run, it always happens without fail. I want to leave before I mess something up." I said with a shaky voice.
"Maria, you are not the one getting hurt by others, you are the one hurting yourself by not letting people in. You are the one on the run, why do you do these things to yourself? Maria, I love you, and I want to love you for the rest of my life, I just can't see how by us being together will hurt you? I know we will not be perfect, we have to go through some things that neither of us are going to like, but we will become a team and we will work through things together. I don't know what people have been telling you for the past 21 years, but you don't have to go through life alone and miserable. Life is not torture, its a joy, especially when you have someone to spend it with." Matt said kissing my forehead lightly.
"Matt, I'm tired, lets just go back to the motel, I need to get some sleep and think about things." I said, abruptly removing his arms from mine, and standing to my feet.
"Fine, lets go." He dropped the topic and we rode silently back to the motel. "Maria, you can stay here and rest awhile, but I have to get over to the ring to practice for tomorrow night's show, okay?" Matt said, after I had opened up the door to my motel room.
"Okay, I'll see you later than, bye." I weakly called from over my shoulder, not even glancing at him as I shut the door behind myself.
After I had closed the door, I let out a sigh and slumped to the ground. What was I doing to myself? Why was I hurting myself? It was so childish of me to act the way I had. Instead of making things better, I made them worse. While everyone was at the arena practicing for the next show, I packed up my things and left.
Chapter 41
Chapter 39