Chapter 47
That night I sat and anxiously watched Monday night RAW. I could tell Matt's head wasn't in the game. They zoomed in on him for a few moments
at ring side. I could still see the hurt in his eyes. He had tried to put his game face on for the match, but I could see right through it. I sighed to
myself and flipped off the TV.
Later on that night my phone rang. It woke me up. I reached over and picked up the receiver that sat next to my bed on an end table. I rubbed my
eyes and looked at the clock, it read 3:30 AM. "H-h-ello..." I whispered loudly.
"Maria?" Came a familiar voice.
"Matt, hey...how are you?" I cautiously asked.
"I'm okay..." his voice trailed off.
"Matt, I am sorry..." I squeaked out.
"Maria, don't..."
"Matt, I have to. I am sorry that I left. I just didn't know how to deal with things so I left. Like I have from every other relationship. I don't
know why I keep doing it, I just do. I'm afraid of getting hurt in the long run, so I always stop the relationship before it gets too far."
"Ah, but this time, you let it get farther and you liked it. You can't tell me you didn't." Matt interrupted.
"Yes, I did, I can't deny that, but I still felt like something was going
to go wrong and I felt trapped. I had to get out."
"Oh, Maria, you drive me insane! Why didn't you come to one of us for
help, I kept asking you that. You just wanted to get out. You never solve your problems, that's just too much work for you. You just run away, and
forget that they ever happened. You cannot keep doing that to yourself and
the rest of us who are being hurt by your insecurities. You can't step all
over people like they are insects. We do have feelings you know! Things can't
always be your way all the time. The universe does not revolve around you. I'm sick of what you want! You are impossible to satisfy." he raised his tone.
"Now you know why I want to live alone for the rest of my life. I can't
deal with people. I work at a high school, I deal with my students and their
parents. Then I go home and take care of my dog and write novels. I am not a
people person, as you have witnessed. I am not good at relationships, so I
prefer not to get involved with them...but with you, it was different, for a
while I opened up and lost myself. Then I realized what was happening and I
had to get myself out."
"You are so stubborn! Fine, fine, I give up. When you come to your senses
let me know. You know, I did love you..." that was the last thing he said,
then he hung up. I hung up my extension and laid back down in my bed.
Everything that he had said rung in my ears, over and over. He had been
right, I was completely self absorbed and was so unaware of it. Its not that
I didn't care, because I did, a great deal. I just let my selfishness show
more. I really did have a heart for others, but it was buried and it needed
to resurface itself, or I was going to loose the man I was truly in love with.
~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 48
Chapter 46