Why I Hate the New York Yankees
By Alexa M.

Yankee hating is a tradition that is honored throughout the country, especially here in New England. There are many reasons for this widespread hatred: the players are all ugly jerks, the owner is a whiny gazillionaire, and the fans are obnoxious frontrunners. If that’s not bad enough, the Yankees get all the breaks and have won 26 World Championships.

The present New York Yankee players are just begging to be hated. Exhibit A: Darryl Strawberry. He has repeatedly been arrested for drug possession and is currently serving a yearlong suspension (one of many suspensions over the years) from Major League Baseball; he has been caught trying to solicit sex from an undercover officer and has been accused of tax evasion and beating his wife. This man shows a prime example to young people of what NOT to do with their lives: screw it up with drug, marital and legal problems.

Yankee “ace” pitcher Roger Clemens – for those who don’t know – used to play for the Red Sox where he claimed he hated the Yankees and came up short many times in the postseason. He was fat and lazy in his last years with the Sox and said he wanted to move closer to Texas to be with his family. He ended up going to Toronto where the money was and reported to spring training in shape for the first time in years and won a couple Cy Young Awards. Roger was then traded to the Yankees, where he is playing now, in exchange for David Wells (how many NYY fans would still do that trade now? HA!) and has lacked the consistency expected from a Cy Young Winner. Clemens had the gall to get upset with young Red Sox player Donnie Sadler for “swinging too hard” at one of his pitches last year, yell at Trot Nixon for “questioning a strike call” this year (luckily Trot got his revenge with a homer to win the game) and hit New York’s own Mike Piazza in the head with a pitch during the season. Up until this year, he hasn’t been able to string together two well-pitched playoff games in a row. This year’s postseason gems were marred when he threw a jagged bat at Mike Piazza in the playoffs (he later claimed he thought it was a baseball). And this man doesn’t understand why people hate him and mock him with chants of “Eat another donut!” or “Where is Roger? In the shower!”? His stupidity alone is reason enough to hate him!

Yankee short stop Derek Jeter is so overrated, it’s not even funny! He’s only getting credit because he plays for the Yankees and he has had some clutch hits in national games, but he is not even in the top 2 for shortstops in the American League! No one argues about A-Rod’s supremacy, but for some reason New Yorkers have it screwed up in their minds that Jeter is better than Nomar! HA! According to MajorLeagueBaseball.com, Nomar leads Jeter in 13 statistical categories, the most important ones being batting average (obviously), errors (Jeter had 24!), RBIs, homeruns, strikeouts (Nomar had less), on-base percentage, slugging percentage, and doubles. Even though unbiased stats prove Nomar’s domination, Jeter gets more attention and praise. And don’t even get me started about all those teeny boppers who think he’s “so hot!” Yeah, sure he’s hot – if you’re into the pretty 12 year-old-boy look. Another thing I hate about Jeter is his cocky attitude. Does anyone else remember him not respecting the Red Sox last year during the ALCS? Does anyone else want to smack that disgusting smirk off his face? Does anyone else want to throw their remote control through the TV every time they show him jumping up and down after winning the World Series on those FOX commercials?! I know I’m not alone here!

I hate 2nd baseman Chuck Knoblauch because – hey, wait a minute, what am I saying?! I love Knobby! I love the way his throws to first sail into the dugout! I love the way he’s morphed from a Golden Glove Winner to the guy Torre takes out of a close game because he’s a defensive liability! Chuck Knoblauch is my favorite Yankee!

Has anyone else noticed that the Yankees have one of the ugliest teams ever?! Think about it: Joe Torre, -----Don Zimmerman, Jorge Posada, Tino Martinez, Chuck Knoblauch, Derek Jeter, Scott Brosius, David Justice, Bernie Williams, Paul O’Neill, Roger Clemens, Jeff Nelson and Mariano Rivera are all hideous! And that’s just the starting lineup! Granted, they got rid of some ugliness by trading away Ricky Ledee, but still, I have NO CLUE how Yankee fans can look at those faces day after day and not go blind!

Ok, enough about the players, now let’s talk about the owner, George Steinbrenner or, as Jimy Williams likes to call him, “Georgie-Porgie”. Georgie-Porgie represents everything that is wrong in baseball. He’s a loudmouth know-it-all owner who has his hands in every facet of Major League Baseball. Baseball won’t get a salary cap or any other revenue sharing system as long as he has anything to say about it. It is owners like Georgie who have set the high salary precedent by giving players outrageously high contracts that lower profit teams can not afford to match. I don’t think it’s fair that the Yankees have a $100 million plus payroll and are guaranteed a playoff spot while a team like the Montreal Expos has something like a $15 million payroll and they’re out of the race by the end of spring training. I would like to see a system put in place like the one the NFL has in which every year each team has a chance to improve and make a run for the playoffs. We saw the St. Louis Rams go from a 4-12 season to winning the Super Bowl the next year. That could never happen in the MLB because of Georgie-Porgie and friends.

Steinbrenner also seems to have the umpires in his back pocket. Who can forget the “phantom tag” and the “double play” from the ALCS last year? Those were both atrocious calls that the umpires even admitted were wrong after the game (a little late!). After the second bad call, Red Sox fans got a little angry and started throwing (GASP!) empty plastic water bottles and dirty napkins onto the field! Then, Georgie-Porgie got all high and mighty scolding Boston fans and saying Jimy Williams lost his vote for manager of the year for “enciting” the crowd. Puh-LEASE! Georgie doesn’t even vote for manager of the year! And he seemed to have forgotten how his own crowd would react! Everyone knows that if the situation were reversed, Yankee fans would be throwing rocks and D batteries on the field. I wouldn’t even be surprised if there was gunfire!

Speaking of Yankee fans: I hate them, too! They are set on making our lives as Red Sox fans miserable! They hunt us out and remind us of all their championships and “1918”. Why are they such sore winners? You're not supposed to gloat - act gracious when you win! Red Sox fans have been through so much ('78, '86, ’99, etc.) and Yankees fans take so much pleasure out of rubbing salt in our wounds. Why can’t they show a little class?

What has always comforted me in the midst of the Yankee fans’ incoherent taunts and insults, is the knowledge that my mental capacity is at least ten times theirs. One of many examples: remember that idiot who jumped into the net above home plate at Yankees Stadium in the beginning of the season and caused the game to stop because he “played dead”? As Mike Stanley said, "Only in New York." I thought the funniest thing was that he was wearing a Paul O'Neill jersey. And it came on the first day beer was taken away from the bleachers, too!

Most Yankee fans are band-wagoners and you just can’t respect band-wagoners. Rooting for teams just because they are winning is one of the lowest things you can do as a sports fan, in my opinion. Sticking with a team through adversity shows loyalty and integrity. When the Patriots went to the Super Bowl a few years ago, I was proud to say I was a fan the year they went 2-14 and I stuck with them through it all. Where were all the Yankee fans 1980-1994? Where were they all in 1990 when the Yanks had the worst record in the American League? Right now it’s “cool” to be associated with the Yankees and wear their logo but I bet in a few years when the Yankees decline, they will lose about 90% of their fan base.

I will end this article with my favorite quote. It was written by Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated and it epitomizes my feelings about the Yankees and their fans.

“Rooting for the Yankees takes all the courage, imagination, conviction and baseball intelligence of Spam. It's like rooting for Brad Pitt to get the girl or for Bill Gates to hit Scratch 'n' Win. (This is why I'm proposing legislation that would allow only those born in one of the five New York boroughs to be Yankees fans. All others who root for the team will be considered overdog-loving, Eveready-chucking, bandwagon-hopping, fair-weather, brown nose, pucker-lipped human goiters and be required to turn in their pinstriped underwear or be tossed into the East River with only Chuck Knoblauch to throw them a life preserver.)”



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