Michael called this afternoon.

I have to say I feel a bit better and was so surprised to hear his voice that I almost dropped the phone!

In a way it was odd. I’d been cleaning (or at least attempting to clean) my so called "workroom" - better known as the disaster area - and had come across the things that I’d bought to give him. Of course this made me cry more. (Let me tell you I’ve done a hell of a lot of crying these last four days!)

I then started thinking about the critique of the web site that I had written and sent him yesterday, and the fear that I had that our friendship was disappearing as the fiancée gained momentum. (I know, my perceptions of things can be warped, and I can’t even begin to explain how insecure I am about anything having to do with men.)

So as I was cleaning I was composing an e-mail that I was going to send. All it was going to say was "Are we still friends?" and "do you actually want any of this stuff?"

Then the phone rang.

Gasp!

So he had called just to chat and to thank me for the honest critique of the website. He said that he had many of the same criticisms and that he felt the company was at fault for not hiring a designer who really knew what he was doing.

He didn’t understand why I thought that he might be upset over my criticism and assured me that he wasn’t so close to it that he was about to take anything personally. I told him how different the world of teaching was and how we were always concerned about hurt feelings and self-esteem.

The conversation then turned to personal things about what he was doing (no mention of fiancée other than to say they were going to her parent’s house in England), and that he was thinking of going full time for this dot com company.

He talked about what he liked and didn’t like about working for this company and how different it was from his previous experience in the corporate world.

We talked for about twenty minutes. He asked me about what I was up to, my trip to New York, and how he regretted that he wouldn’t have the time to get together.

I still think that he could finagle it but I’ll never convince him of that.

We talked about my love of travel and his dislike, and I told him about loving London more than any other place in the world. I told him that I felt as if I’d lived there in a past life. He said he felt that way about the Amalfi Coast.

I expressed some of my concerns about going to NYC with Dee, as she’s afraid of her own shadow and will refuse to walk anywhere. We’ll take cabs and miss out on life. I also told him about the time I was almost mugged at a restaurant in Times Square.

The conversation ended when he had to go to a meeting, but he also asked if I’d still be interested in working for him.

Oh yeah, I would!

I’ll have to wait to see if anything happens when he comes back from England.

So how do I feel?

Puzzled but relieved.

Just when I think we’re down the drain and not even friends anymore he does something totally spontaneous and surprising like this. It makes me feel better and hopeful that the friendship will survive whatever he decides to throw at it.

Meanwhile I still hope that she falls off the face of the earth!