In memory of Mark and my Lolo

Though I wasn't one of Mark's good friends, some of my friends were. I thought it would be good to get this out to make sure everyone remembers to never let anyone leave without telling them you love them, for it may be the last time to say it. This is also in memory of my Lolo. He was 95 years old and lived a long great life in the Philippines. Never met him, I was supposed to this summer of 2000. Its very upsetting to know I wont get to meet him this summer anymore. I dont even have a picture of him. When this happened, I became very insecure and scared about many things in life. Please read this in memory of Mark Bolger, March 13, 1983-January 28, 2000. Also my Lolo who died February 3, 2000.

I remember coming home from camp one weekend with my youth group. It was sooo much fun! Arriving to Janice's house, Tita Venus told me that a Salem Basketball Player had died over the weekend, but she didn't remember the name. When i got home, i saw my newspaper sitting there so i went over to read it. As i started to read the article on the death of Mark Bolger, tears started to form and soon enough they flowed down my face. You wonder what made this tragedy happen to such a great person.

The next day was back to school. Though Mark and I weren't too much of friends in high school, he was good friends with a lot of mine so that's how i met him before and knew him. He was one of those people that you just like to know. During school, i'd be in tears just thinking about it all. Seeing other people i knew in tears also just made me cry even more. After school i was supposed to go to the viewing to pay respects to him and his family. Being so shook up about it, i I couldn't go through with it. I didn't want to remember him in a casket, I would rather remember him and his smiling face. That night, I did go to the candle light vigil for him. It was pretty cold that night, but I didn't seem to care. Watching my candle burn and listening to all his close friends talk, I remember when my friends introduced me to him in middle school. Tears started to freeze to my face. After everyone was done talking, I saw my good friend Betsy along with Jessica, Stephanie and some others. They stood there and looked at some pictures of middle school and I just stood with them.

Tuesday was the day of the funeral. Walking into the church to find a seat, I saw his basketball shooter shirt, his Salem sports jerseys and his letter jacket on display. Sitting there in service honoring him, i looked around at the many people who came to do the same. During the service, we listen to many people who were close to Mark struggle to talk about what a great person he was. There was a song called "With Hope" that was written by some guys for Mark. The song made me cry uncontrollably on my friend Zach's shoulder as they sang it. Near the end of the service, all the classmates and teammates were asked to go outside so the casket could be rolled passed them. As the casket went by, it made my cry more than i already was. It seemed like it was going in slow motion as i watched it. In the background, while we were all standing there, was the saddest song you could hear, "I will remember you" playing.

Two days passed and I was still moaping around. I started to convince myself alittle that i was feeling a bit better. Little did I know that I wouldn't be come that night. During that night, my family recieved a call from the Philippines. It was my dad's sister, but I wondered why. My Tita called to inform us that my Lolo (f.y.i. Lolo means grandpa for all you that dont know) died earlier that day. At that moment, the security I was trying to build up again was shattered. I've never seen my dad cry so much in a long time. It hurt just seeing him like that. I went up to my room and I just sat there and cried. There was nothing anyone could do or say to make me feel better at that point. I was at rock bottom. That night, i just stayed in my room thinking about all my friends and family that mean so much to me.

I dont know which one is harder, when I first heard about what happened or trying to get over it. There's a good lesson to learn about this. If you love someone, dont be scared to tell them. It may be the last chance you have. That is something I will live for for the rest of my life. Thank you to all the people who helped me through all of this -- Lissa, Janice, V, Brian, Ramon, Tracy, Lou, Amy, Shannon, Zach, Scott, and many others. It meant a lot to know you were there.