Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be stranded inside a cabin in Alaska for an extended period of time all alone with a limited supply of food and no connections to the outside world? Chances are, you haven't. Because I have, I am very strange. But that is okay. So, I decided to predict what it would be like if I were, and this is what my diary would be like if I had one.
Lots of snow outside. Cable TV too interesting to go outside and see if there is a snowmobile outside or not.
Cable TV stopped working. Went outside to check if there was a snowmobile in case snow got too bad. There isn't.
A whole bunch of snow piling up, can't see out windows. Radio Program too interesting to search cabin for telephone.
Radio stopped working. No phone either.
Tried opening the door to go play in the snow, didn't work. Lots of snow everywhere. No more TV, No more radio. Very boring.
Found a chess board. Played chess with self for three hours straight. Lost every single one. Gave up and ate the pieces.
Spent all day recovering from the effects of chess pieces on digestive system. May not sit at all tommorow.
Did not sit at all today.
Made sock puppets with glass eyes stolen from the moose head above the fireplace. Snow does not appear to be subsiding. Sock puppets argued about the amount of snow.
Tried to fix the television, failed miserably. Ended up hollowing it out and making a stage for the sock puppets. Spent all day writing out a fantastic play.
Attempted to perform play. Sock puppets dissagreed with the script and fought the whole time. Play was interesting never the less and ended in a murder suicide where the right hand sock tossed the left hand sock into the fire and then did so himself.
Sad about the demise of the puppets and own lack of foresight to create stunt sock puppets as well. Put the ashes of the sock puppets inside an empty peanut butter jar out of respect. Placed them in the pantry when it turned out to be too difficult to open door for a proper burial.
Took off clothes and ran around naked every half hour. Had an exceptional conversation with the moose between naked run breaks.
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Found diary. Has spend past four days searching for it. Did not put it under rug. Blames moose trophy.
Went completely insane for a four hour period, got rather agitated at a coffee pot that did not believe in the popular moon made of cheese theory. Thought about eating it but after recalling the aftereffects of the chess pieces merely smashed it against the wall and yelled at it.
Made a large rabbit shaped statue entirely out of stale marshmellows.
Made up and entire language of gibberish.
Higgle fish. Wob bog jiggle wop. Swig jig ijy wack. Blurp blup blue shoe tweet.
Found previous diary entry in the language of gibberish was too difficult to read. Decided not to write in it anymore.
Sacrificed the marshmellow bunny statue to the fireplace while shouting mean words in the gibberish language.
While searching for more marshmellows to make statues with found a peanut butter jar in the pantry filled with some kind of black dust. Ate it.
Distressed to recall that the black dust was the ashes of the sock puppets. Spent all day going through sparadic fits of sadness. Yelled at the moose a lot.
Snow looks like it is beggining to melt.
Snow was just fooling around. Not really melting.
Rearranged the furniture into tactical possitions. Armed self and moose with silverwear. Warred with the moose all day long. Lost. Yelled at the moose a bit.
Rolled self up in fuzzy carpet. Imagined what it would be like to burst out of it and suddenly be a butterfly. Tried to accomplish this all day long.
Snow may be melting. Looks rather suspicious however. Moose refuses to talk. Chatted with a goose decoy. Found it to be a blockhead.
Snow melting very fast. Everything is wet. Radio still not working.
Radio started working again. Frightened self immensely. Ate it.
Spent all day recovering from the after effects of eating the radio. May not sit at all tommorow.
Did not sit at all today.
Not sitting today either.
Message came asking of location. Moose tried to take message and failed horribly. Speakers of message did not speak jibberish language. Very distressed on lack of food in pantry.
People who left message more clever than let off to be. Showed up with flashy lights and food. Took food and ate it. Asked them to fix TV but they still didn't speak jibberish.
Moose can't teach them jibberish either.
People who came less friendly than let off to be. Grabbed and hustled self into helecopter device. Sad too leave the moose. Still misses sock puppets. Spotted snowmobile parked behind cabin on trip through the sky
Cabin has been replaced with padded room. Padded room has lack of sock puppet materials and moose trophys. Very sad. Digestive system sighs in relief.
