If you're like me, school is boring. Sitting at a desk for 8 hours while numbers, theories, and words get funneled through your head. Thats why there are several ways to entertain yourself at school. I've made a list of things that will help keep you from beating your head against things by the end of the day. Let's take a look.
Alright, so lunch isn't for another hour and a half. That doesn't mean you can't spend all class period daydreaming about the hot girl sitting two desks in front. Just don't get caught.
You don't actually need to go to the bathroom but you just want to get away from everyone. Make a paper towel monster and play with it. Flush the toilets. Make faces in the mirror. Get a drink of water and roam the halls for a bit. You can safely waste at least 5 minutes without anyone getting suspicous. If there were burritos for lunch you can use digestion problems as an excuse and safely waste away the whole day and no one will think the less of you.
They are breathing your air, shut em up for a bit. Just stand up and start yelling and pretty soon you could either be sitting in the office getting strange looks all day, or looking up from a hospital bed for the next four weeks. Whatever happens, you can get away.
It is a stressful day. Go ahead and cry. You have five minutes to bawl your eyes out about whatever is bothering you. Make sure you do it publically. Everyone will admire you for showing your emotions publically and fall deeply in love with you.
This one is very important. The less you care, the less people will expect of you and the more they will be impressed when you do something worthwhile (which you wont). Don't do anything constructive. Think about the hot girl sitting two seats in front or how far you are to beating the new video game. Have little battles between the X-men in your head. Nightcrawler vs. Wolverine or something like that.
Bring some food. Much a lot. Make sure it is something loud like chips or messy like pudding. Never share with anyone. It will not only be annoying, but tempting as well. Make a big deal of loving whatever you are eating to make everyone jealous.
Tape a squirrel to your head. If anyone asks questions throw acorns at them. If that doesn't work throw the squirrel and yell a lot. Give it a neat name like "Skippy" or "Willy". Talk to it.
If anyone asks you a question, including teachers, raise your shirt and insist they ask the "answer belly". Everyone will admire your resourcefullness. Make sure you quake your stomach around violently while answering and talk in a really dramatic ominous voice.
Oh hello! *PUNCH* How are you? *PUNCH* Why do you keep punching people!?! *PUNCH* It's easy. Have fun. Show no one mercy. For an added mysteriousness go to the bathroom and put on ninja clothing covering every part of your body. Go around punching people and then go back into the bathroom and take it off. Punch yourself in the face so no one gets suspicious and thinks it is you.
Get a leprechaun and dress him like a butler. Make him massage your feet often. Tell him you will pay him when you get your paycheck. When you get your paycheck eat the leprechaun.
Take little foam cups from the lunch room and make magnificent towers out of them. Hide behind them and don't let anyone near them. If anyone tells you to stop or gets too close punch them in the stomach, even if it isn't punch people in the face day.
Don't even come up with an excuse. Just don't go.
