The Mountie Song - The Arrogant Worms

Tabbed by Adam Bishop

Capo I

G  - 320033
C  - x32010
Am - x02210
D  - xx0232
Em - 022000


G        C    (x4)

(G-C throughout)

When I was a kid I wanted to grow up and be cop in a province town or county 
I thought it would be great if someday I could only ever be a Mountie
I wanted to beat up crooks and make arrests because that's part of the profession 
But now I sit on my horse and tell American tourists the Parliament's in session 

  Am
I really don't look good in red 
       C                       D       G            C    G    C
And my stupid hat flies off my head in every parade 
    Am
I'm young and strong and have no fear 
    C                     D       G          C    G    C
But now I'm spending my career in motorcades 

Em          C              G              D
I want to enforce the law, I want to wear normal clothes 
Em              C                 G               D
I don't want to have to smile for diplomats' home videos 
Em        C                    G           D
I good at working real hard, I should have joined the coast guard 
Em         C  D 
Oh no, the RCMP is not the life for me 

G        C    (x4)

I used to think that a mountie had to be honest, loyal, humble, strong and thrifty 
But even though we don't break ranks, we get no thanks, they took us off the fifty (dollar bill) 
On Sussex Drive in hallowed halls we act like guards in shopping malls, it's such a pain 
Like someone's plotting the assassination of the Minister of Sports and Recreation, oh that's 
insane 
Sometimes I just want to puke on Sergeant Preston of the Yukon, Dudley Do-Right's such a 
jerk (Damn you, Snidely) 
And though he tries with all his heart, my horse couldn't catch a golfing cart, some days I 
hate to go to work 

Chorus 

Here is some of the "stupid American tourist" talk, as much as I could hear:

"Hey, hey, Mountie, where's your man? Haven't you got him yet?"
"Could you take my picture?"
"Is your horse French?"
"What's your favourite episode of the Forest Rangers?"
"Why don't you ride a cow?"
"What state are we in?"
"Where's the bathroom?"
"Can you validate my parking?"
"Do you have to plug in your horse on a cold night?"
"Can I borrow ten bucks?"
"Do you go to the bathroom when your horse does?"
"What's the weather like up there?"
"What's your show size?"

I can't get anything after that


Chorus x2

End on G